Woman of the Hour (33 page)

They both nodded.

‘He will never know how we got hold of it or that you are the hero, Ziggy,’ I said.

‘Yes, you are,’ Harriet agreed.

‘But not a word to anyone, ever, and we’re going to put it behind us.’

*

It was mid-afternoon when Fizzy called me. She was nearly sobbing as she said: ‘I’ve started to bleed.’

This time we got a taxi. There was no time to do anything else. She told the driver to take us to a private clinic on Harley Street. While we were sitting in the back of the cab she was whispering that she’d felt wetness between her legs and had checked. The blood was bright red and sort of clotty.

‘Am I having a miscarriage?’

She was almost whimpering in her distress and glancing anxiously through the glass at the cab driver. It sounded bad.

‘We’ll be there soon,’ I said.

The clinic leapt into action as soon as we arrived and Fizzy was taken away to have an ultrasound scan. I was shown into a discreet softly furnished waiting room with copies of
Country Life
,
The Lady
and the
Financial Times
on the table. I called Simon and told him I wouldn’t be back for the rest of the day and he needed to deputise for me. I wondered what was happening with Fizzy. Was there anything the doctors can do once a woman has started bleeding? Her terror means that she wants this baby and she might be losing it.

It was ages later when the receptionist told me I could join Miss Wentworth in her private room. Fizzy was lying flat in the bed with her feet raised and her face was white.

‘They gave me a scan and baby is still moving. The consultant asked me if I had any pain in my shoulders.’

‘And do you?’

‘No. What was that about?’

‘I don’t know. Did you ask him?’

Fizzy shook her head.

‘I’m so frightened. I think it’s touch and go. Will you stay with me?’

‘Of course I will.’

It was going to be another late night away from home. Eventually Fizzy dozed off and when the nurse came in to check on her I asked her about the pain in the shoulders question.

‘It’s a symptom of ectopic pregnancy and your friend is all clear on that front,’ the nurse said.

‘And the baby will be OK?’

The nurse would not be drawn. I think they are told that you mustn’t commit yourself one way or the other.

Around seven I put in a call to Janis and Fizzy must have woken up and heard me telling Janis to put Flo into a taxi to Harley Street. She was shaking her head as I was speaking into the phone.

‘Why are you doing that? It’s our secret, Liz.’

‘I can’t leave Flo alone for another evening. I can’t. I won’t tell her what’s wrong with you. Please be calm, Fizz.’

‘How can I be calm?’

‘Shhh now...’

‘What will you tell her?’

‘I’ll think of something.’

I poured her a class of water and stroked her arm as she took the glass.

‘I’ll say you’re having your tonsils out. I’m going downstairs now to wait for Flo, OK.’

It was dark outside and the street lamps were glowing yellow. I saw people walking by with what looked like Christmas shopping. I had seen the Christmas lights blazing from shop windows as we had driven towards the clinic and in one window I had spotted a nativity scene. It felt an age ago that I had left home to travel to work and had had that showdown with Julius. I had hardly eaten anything all day and could feel the vein in my right temple throbbing which told me a headache was coming. When Flo arrived I would send her out to get us some sandwiches from the café around the corner. It was going to be a late night.

DECEMBER

StoryWorld TV station, London Bridge

As I was about to go into the gallery to watch the show I got a call from Fizzy from her room in the clinic.

‘The bleeding stopped completely around midnight.’

‘Thank God for that.’

Flo and I had left at eleven when Fizzy was sleeping. The bleeding had slowed down and the nurse had said it was safe for us to go and she would ring me if Fizzy’s condition worsened.

‘He said baby’s OK. But I’ve got to rest up till the weekend. I’m going to stay here for a couple more days. Will you tell Julius I’ll be back on Monday?’ Fizzy said.

‘Course I will. Now you take it easy and I’ll come and see you after work,’ I said.

Fizzy rarely misses a show and I was glad that at last she was putting the baby first.

Ledley sat in for Fizzy and presented the show. He did a brilliant interview with Dirk about what life was like post-amputation. He was able to ask quite intimate questions without appearing to be intrusive. Next up it was Betty who was discussing divorce as her Life Crisis topic of the day. Again Ledley performed well and his discussion with her was thoughtful.

As the credits were rolling I asked the director: ‘What did you think of Ledley?’

‘Terrific. He’s got the range, hasn’t he?’

‘That’s what I thought.’

And then it came to me that Ledley can stand in for Fizzy while she is on maternity leave. She would find it a lot easier to accept a man doing her role temporarily than another woman. It would be great to have Ledley as the main anchor for a few months. He is such an easy man to work with.

At the morning meeting I told Julius that Fizzy would be away till the end of the week. Bob’s behaviour was weird. He completely lost it over a news story that had been pulled at short notice by Julius. The story was about a company that had been named and shamed for its refusal to pay the minimum wage and for its record on tax evasion. It was hard-hitting and there followed a tense exchange between Bob and Julius about who should have the final editorial say over news stories.

‘As news editor I know what’s making the day’s agenda. There’s a report out at noon today on this company and it will be everywhere. We got it early.’

‘And as director of programmes I can pull a story if I think it will damage the station’s profitability,’ Julius said.

‘You’re saying they’re planning to advertise with us?’ Bob asked.

‘There’s a good chance they will, yes.’

Julius gets to have the last word, of course, and Bob looked disgusted but he shut up at that. I recalled Fizzy telling me he had been incandescent when he found out that she hadn’t had the termination. The strain is getting to him and this is the first time I have seen him confront Julius so directly. Julius asked to see me straight after the meeting. We walked in silence to his office and once in there we were exceedingly formal with each other.

‘I would be grateful if you would enlighten me on the full story about Fizzy’s condition,’ he said.

In the past Julius would have contacted her himself so I think there must be a rift between them at the moment. He had advised Fizzy to have an abortion so maybe that was the cause of their current coolness.

‘The doctor said she’ll be all right in a few days but we need to give her time to fully recover.’

‘You knew about the pregnancy, of course,’ he said.

‘Yes.’

His use of the past tense made me realise that he thinks Fizzy is away having her termination and this is why she isn’t on air. She’s keeping her cards very close to her chest.

‘And has she told you who the father was?’

‘No, and it’s not my business to enquire.’

‘Oh, but it is if it’s going to affect her future performance,’ he said.

‘Fizzy is a professional to the tips of her toes and will be back on Monday,’ I said.

‘OK.’

‘Have you signed the paperwork about the feature crew and Simon’s promotion?’

‘I’ll do it today,’ he said.

You’d better, I thought, because I have that purple memory stick at home.

*

I went for lunch with Betty and Simon. We had arranged it last week and I was pleased to get out of the station. I had booked us into an Italian restaurant near Tower Bridge. I ordered the rigatoni puttanesca, my all-time favourite sauce as I love the combination of tomato, anchovies, black olives and capers. Betty had selected cannelloni with a side order of courgettes in batter.

‘We’ve been getting a good reaction to your series,’ I said.

She had asked for garlic bread too and now lifted the plate and offered me a slice.

‘Thanks. I was worried that the title might put people off but your instinct was spot on.’ I added.

‘Thank you, I’m pleased with how it’s going and Simon has been such a help throughout.’

I looked over at Simon as he tucked into his pizza with extra pepperoni. I was looking forward to telling him that he would be promoted to my deputy. I plan to give him the title of assistant producer and it will mean a pay rise for him and he deserves it. It will be a less easy task telling Molly about the changes to the team structure as there has always been a healthy competition between the two of them. But I did have the fact of a weekly features crew which she can use for her stories and I hoped this would sweeten the message. I felt cheerful. It had been a horrible couple of months but we were coming out of it with my position strengthened and my team intact.

Simon had to leave before us and Betty and I stayed on to have coffee.

‘Is Fizzy all right?’ she asked me.

‘She’s poorly and won’t be in for a couple of days.’

‘I know she’s poorly at the moment, but I was wondering if there was something else going on?’ Betty said.

‘Something else?’

‘I’ve noticed a change in her recently. She’s unsettled, almost feverish at times.’

Betty had worked as a probation officer and was good at observing changes in people’s behaviour.

‘She has been going through some personal stuff recently; a break-up that upset her,’ I said.

It was sort of the truth because she had broken up with Bob, but it was also a bit of a lie and I wished I couldn’t lie so easily.

‘I thought so. She snapped at me last week over something trivial.’

‘She’ll get through it. Now, are you planning to come to Ledley’s launch next week? He’d love to have you there.’

*

I left the station at five to visit Fizzy at the Harley Street clinic. She was sitting up in bed and I think she had been crying because her eyelids were pink. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. There was a huge bouquet of flowers standing in a vase on the window sill and I could smell the lilies that were in the mix. She saw me glance at the flowers.

‘From Saul Relph,’ she said.

‘How are you?’

‘Doctor said baby’s going to be OK.’

‘Thank goodness.’

I sat down on the chair by her bed.

‘But I’ve got to take it easy. I can go on working, he said, but no more parties or rushing around after the show.’ She looked thoughtful. ‘I thought I’d lose baby. My mum had a miscarriage, you know.’

‘Before or after you?’

‘Long before me. It was her first pregnancy.’

‘What happened?’

‘She was nineteen and engaged to my dad and her mum, my grandma, was organising the church wedding for them. My grandma is religious and when she found out that Mum was pregnant she made her dye her wedding dress a pale shade of pink.’

‘No!’

‘Oh yes, and Mum had to wear it. Grandma said she couldn’t wear white because she wasn’t a virgin any more. It wasn’t as if Mum was even showing.’

‘And she made your mum broadcast her condition?’

‘Yes she did, and believe me Burnley in those days was a very judgemental place.’

‘That’s horrible.’

‘And then Mum lost the baby at four months and she was distraught. She didn’t conceive again for years and Grandma said it was God’s punishment on her.’

‘Bloody hell, your grandma sounds terrifying,’ I said.

Fizzy nodded.

‘Is she still alive?’

‘Yes, she is.’

‘Are you worried about her finding out about your pregnancy?’ I asked.

‘No, because she’s got dementia now and she won’t understand what’s happening.’

‘But your mum will be pleased.’

‘Yes, I think so. I haven’t told her yet.’

I thought it strange that Fizzy hadn’t told her mother the news. When I got pregnant with Flo I told my mum immediately and she was overjoyed, though we both cried when we talked about how Dad would never know he had a grandchild.

‘Fizz, when are you going to tell Julius about the baby?’

Her face changed and she looked furtive.

‘I don’t know.’

‘He thinks you’re away because you’re having a termination.’

‘Oh well, sooner or later he’s going to notice.’

She tried to say it breezily but there was an edge to her voice.

‘You’d be better off telling him. You know what a control freak he is. He’ll hate it if you don’t tell him.’

Fizzy sighed and reached for a bowl of purple grapes by her bed. She offered them to me and I pulled off a small branch.

‘Thanks.’

‘Harriet seems to have faded into the background,’ she said.

‘She’s trying harder to be a team player and I’ve decided to keep her on.’

‘Did you have to do that? I still don’t trust her,’ Fizzy said, putting the bowl back on the bedside table.

‘Stop worrying about Harriet. She’s not going to make it onto the screen. Ever.’

‘I hate grapes,’ she said.

I wondered who had given them to her. Would Bob have taken a risk and come to the clinic? This was a place that looked after the rich and the famous and it wasn’t unusual for paparazzi to be stationed on the pavement opposite. I wondered what the status of their relationship was now. I didn’t tell her how Bob had lost his cool so dramatically this morning. The priority was to make Fizzy’s pregnancy as stress-free as possible. I explained my idea of getting Ledley to stand in for her when she was on leave and she liked the suggestion.

‘That could work. He won’t try to stich me up,’ she said.

As I left I reflected on Fizzy and her jealousies. She is always on the lookout for anyone who might upstage or replace her and it must be so wearing. Then I remembered how Bob and I compete. I wasn’t immune from petty rivalries either.