Women (34 page)

“Yes.”

“You expect me to ride in an old car like that?”

“Look, if you don’t want to get in, don’t get in.”

Valencia got in. She took out her mirror and began making up her face as we drove along. It wasn’t far to my place. I parked.

Inside she said, “This place is filthy. You need somebody to fix it up.”

I got out the vodka and the 7-UP and poured two drinks. Valencia pulled her boots off.

“Where’s your typewriter?”

“On the kitchen table.”

“You don’t have a desk? I thought writers had desks.”

“Some don’t even have kitchen tables.”

“You been married?” Valencia asked.

“Once.”

“What went wrong?”

“We began to hate each other.”

“I’ve been married four times. I still see my ex-husbands. We’re friends.”

“Drink up.”

“You seem nervous,” said Valencia.

“I’m all right.”

Valencia finished her drink, then stretched out on the couch. She put her head in my lap. I began to stroke her hair. I poured her another drink, and went back to stroking her hair. I could look into her blouse and see her breasts. I leaned over and gave her a long kiss. Her tongue darted in and out of my mouth. I hated her. My cock began to rise. We kissed again and I reached down into her blouse.

“I knew I’d meet you some day,” she said.

I kissed her again, this time with some savagery. She felt my cock against her head.

“Hey!” she said.

“It’s nothing,” I said.

“Like hell,” she said. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. ...”

“I know.”

Valencia got up and went to the bathroom. When she came out she was naked. She got under the bedsheet. I had another drink. Then I undressed and got into bed. I pulled the sheet back. What huge breasts. She was one-half breast. I firmed one up with my hand as best I could and sucked at the nipple. It didn’t harden. I went to the other breast and sucked at the nipple. No response. I sloshed her breasts about. I stuck my cock in between them. The nipples remained soft. I shoved my cock at her mouth and she turned her head away. I thought of burning her ass with a cigarette. What a mass of flesh she was. A worn out busted down streetwalker. Whores usually made me hot. My cock was hard but my spirit wasn’t in it.

“Are you Jewish?” I asked her.

“No.”

“You look Jewish.”

“I’m not.”

“You live in the Fairfax district, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Are your parents Jewish?”

“Listen, what’s all this Jewish shit?”

“Don’t feel bad. Some of my best friends are Jewish.”

I sloshed her breasts around again.

“You seem frightened,” Valencia said. “You seem uptight.”

I waved my cock in her face.

“Does that look frightened?”

“It looks horrible. Where’d you get all those big veins?”

“I like them.”

I grabbed her by the hair and pressed her head up against the wall and sucked at her teeth while looking into her eyes. Then I began playing with her cunt. She was a long time coming around. Then she began to open and I stuck my finger in. I got to the clit and worked it. Then I mounted. My cock was inside of her. We were actually fucking. I had no desire to please her. Valencia had a fair grip. I was into her pretty good but she didn’t seem to be responding. I didn’t care. I pumped and pumped. One more fuck. Research. There was no sense of violation involved. Poverty and ignorance bred their own truth. She was mine. We were two animals in the forest and I was murdering her. She was coming around. I kissed her and her lips were finally open. I dug it in. The blue walls watched us. Valencia began making little sounds. That spurred me on.

When she came out of the bathroom I was dressed. There were two drinks on the table. We sipped our drinks.

“How come you live in the Fairfax district?” I asked.

“I like it there.”

“Should I drive you home?”

“If you don’t mind.”

She lived two blocks east of Fairfax. “That’s my place there,” she said, “with the screen door.”

“Looks like a nice place.”

“It is. Want to come in for a while?”

“Got anything to drink?”

“Can you drink sherry?”

“Sure . . .”

We went in. There were towels on the floor. She kicked them under the couch as she walked past. Then she came out with the sherry. It was very cheap stuff.

“Where’s your bathroom?” I asked.

I flushed the toilet to cover the sound, then puked the sherry back up. I flushed again and came out.

“Another drink?” she asked.

“Sure.”

“The kids came by,” she said, “that’s why the place is such a mess.”

“You’ve got kids?”

“Yes but Sam is taking care of them.”

I finished my drink. “Well, look, thanks for the drinks. I’ve got to get going.”

“All right, you’ve got my phone number.”

“Right.”

Valencia walked me to the screen door. We kissed there. Then I walked out to the Volks. I got in and drove off. I circled around the corner, double-parked, opened the door and puked up the other drink.

98

I saw Sara every three or four days, at her place or at mine. We slept together but there was no sex. We came close but we never quite got to it. Drayer Baba’s precepts held strong.

We decided to spend the holidays together at my place, Christmas and New Year’s.

Sara arrived about noon on the 24th in her Volks van. I watched her park, then went out to meet her. She had lumber tied to the roof of the van. It was to be my Christmas present: she was going to build me a bed. My bed was a mockery: a simple box spring with the innards sticking out of the mattress. Sara had also brought an organic turkey plus the trimmings. I was to pay for that and the white wine. And there were some small gifts for each of us.

We carried in the lumber and the turkey and the sundry bits and pieces. I placed the box spring, mattress and headboard outside and put a sign on them: “Free.” The head-board went first, the box spring second, and finally somebody took the mattress. It was a poor neighborhood.

I had seen Sara’s bed at her place, slept in it, and had liked it. I had always disliked the average mattress, at least the ones I was able to buy. I had spent over half my life in beds which were better suited for somebody shaped like an angleworm.

Sara had built her own bed, and she was to build me another like it. A solid wood platform supported by 7 four-by-four legs (the seventh directly in the middle) topped by a layer of firm 4-inch foam. Sara had some good ideas. I held the boards and Sara drove home the nails. She was good with a hammer. She only weighed 105 pounds but she could drive a nail. It was going to be a fine bed.

It didn’t take Sara long.

Then we tested it—non-sexually—as Drayer Baba smiled over us.

We drove around looking for a Christmas tree. I wasn’t too anxious to get a tree (Christmas had always been an unhappy time in my childhood) and when we found all the lots empty, the lack of a tree didn’t bother me. Sara was unhappy as we drove back. But after we got in and had a few glasses of white wine she regained her spirits and went about hanging Christmas ornaments, lights, and tinsel everywhere, some of the tinsel in my hair.

I had read that more people committed suicide on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day than at any other time. The holiday had little or nothing to do with the Birth of Christ, apparently.

All the radio music was sickening and the t.v. was worse, so we turned it off and she phoned her mother in Maine. I spoke to Mama too and Mama was not all that bad.

“At first,” said Sara, “I was thinking about fixing you up with Mama but she’s older than you are.”

“Forget it.”

“She had nice legs.”

“Forget it.”

“Are you prejudiced against old age?”

“Yes, everybody’s old age but mine.”

“You act like a movie star. Have you always had women 20 or 30 years younger than you?”

“Not when I was in my twenties.”

“All right then. Have you ever had a woman older than you, I

mean lived with her?”

“Yeah, when I was 25 I lived with a woman 35.”

“How’d it go?”

“It was terrible. I fell in love.”

“What was terrible?”

“She made me go to college.”

“And that’s terrible?”

“It wasn’t the kind of college you’re thinking of. She was the faculty, and I was the student body.”

“What happened to her?”

“I buried her.”

“With honors? Did you kill her?”

“Booze killed her.”

“Merry Christmas.”

“Sure. Tell me about yours.”

“I pass.”

“Too many?”

“Too many, yet too few.”

Thirty or 40 minutes later there was a knock on the door. Sara got up and opened it. A sex symbol walked in. On Christmas Eve. I didn’t know who she was. She was in a tight black outfit and her huge breasts looked as if they would burst out of the top of her dress. It was magnificent. I had never seen breasts like that, showcased in just that way, except in the movies.

“Hi, Hank!”

She knew me.

“I’m Edie. You met me at Bobby’s one night.”

“Oh?”

“Were you too drunk to remember?”

“Hello, Edie. This is Sara.”

“I was looking for Bobby. I thought Bobby might be down here.”

“Sit down and have a drink.”

Edie sat in a chair to my right, very near to me. She was about 25. She lit a cigarette and sipped at her drink. Each time she leaned forward over the coffee table I was sure that it would happen, I was sure that those breasts would spring out. And I was afraid of what I might do if they did. I just didn’t know. I had never been a

breast man, I had always been a leg man. But Edie really knew how to do it. I was afraid and I peeked sideways at her breasts not knowing whether I wanted them to fall out or to stay in.

“You met Manny,” she said to me, “down at Bobby’s?”

“Yeh.”

“I had to kick his ass out. He was too fucking jealous. He even hired a private dick to follow me! Imagine that! That simple sack of shit!”

“Yeh.”

“I hate men who are beggars! I hate little toadies!”

'“A good man nowadays is hard to find,’” I said. “That’s a song. Out of World War Two. They also had, 'Don’t sit under the apple tree with anybody else but me.’”

“Hank, you’re babbling. . . .” said Sara.

“Have another drink, Edie,” I said and I poured her one.

“Men are such shits!” she continued. “I walked into a bar the other day. I was with four guys, close friends. We sat around chugalugging pitchers of beer, we’re laughing, you know, just having a good time, we weren’t bothering anybody. Then I got the idea that I would like to shoot a game of pool. I like to shoot pool. I think that when a lady shoots pool it shows her class.”

“I can’t shoot pool,” I said. “I always rip up the green. And I’m not even a lady.”

“Anyway, I go up to the table and there’s this guy shooting pool all by himself. I go up to him and I say, 'Look, you’ve had this table a long time. My friends and myself want to shoot a little pool. Do you mind letting us have the table for a while?’ He turned and looked at me. He waited. Then he sneered, and he said, 'All right.’”

Edie became animated and bounced around as she spoke and I peeked at her things.

“I went back and told my friends, 'We got the table.’ Finally this guy shooting is down to his last ball when a buddy of his walks up and says, 'Hey, Ernie, I hear you’re giving up the table.’ And you know what he tells this guy? He says, 'Yeah, I’m giving it up to that bitch!’ I heard it and I saw RED! This guy is bent over the table to cue in on his last ball. I grabbed a pool stick and while he was bent over I hit him over the head as hard as I could. The guy dropped on the table like he was dead. He was known in the bar and so a bunch of his friends rush over but meanwhile my four buddies rush over too. Boy, what a brawl! Bottles smashing, broken mirrors. ... I don’t know how we got out of there but we did. You got some shit?”

“Yeah but I don’t roll too good.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

Edie rolled a tight thin joint, just like a pro. She sucked it up, hissing, then passed it to me.

“So I went back the next night, alone. The owner who is the bartender, he recognizes me. His name is Claude. 'Claude,’ I told him, 'I’m sorry about yesterday but that guy at the table was a real bastard. He called me a bitch.’”

I poured more drinks all around. In another minute her breasts would be out.

“The owner said, 'It’s O.K., forget it.’ He seemed like a nice guy. 'What do you drink?’ he asked me. I hung around the bar and had two or three free drinks and he said, 'You know, I can use another waitress.’”

Edie took a hit on the joint and continued. “He told me about the other waitress. 'She pulled the men in but she made a lot of trouble. She played one guy against the other. She was always on stage. Then I found out she was tricking on the side. She was using MY place to peddle her pussy!’”

“Really?” Sara asked.

“That’s what he said. Anyhow, he offered me a position as a waitress. And he said, 'No tricking on the job!’ I told him to cut the shit, I wasn’t one of those. I thought maybe now I’ll be able to save some money and go to U.C.L. A., to become a chemist and to study French, that’s what I’ve always wanted to do. Then he said, 'Come on back here, I want to show you where we store our excess stock and also I’ve got an outfit I’d like you to try on. It’s never been worn and I think it’s your size.’ So I went into this dark little room with him and he tried to grab me. I pushed him off. Then he said, 'Just give me a little kiss.’ 'Fuck off!’ I told him. He was bald and fat and very short and had false teeth and black warts with hairs growing out of them on his cheeks. He rushed me and grabbed a hunk of my ass with one hand and some titty with the other and he tried to kiss me. I pushed him off again. 'I got a wife,’ he said, 'I love my wife, don’t worry!’ He rushed me again and I gave him a knee you-know-where. I guess he didn’t have anything there, he didn’t even flinch. 'I’ll give you money,’ he said, 'I’ll be nice to you!’ I told him to eat shit and die. And so I lost another job.”