Authors: Rosie Fiore
On their second glass of wine, she plucked up the courage to ask about his marriage.
âWe were university sweethearts,' he said. âWe dated from halfway through the second year. She's also a doctor. We worked well as a team, and marriage seemed the obvious next step.'
Holly couldn't help thinking that was a terribly unromantic thing to say about your wife. He carried on. âBoth our careers went well, and we worked very hard. She was a GP; I worked at the hospital. Then Finlay was born, and ⦠well, don't ever let anyone tell you that having kids will save a relationship. It won't. And it's hard. She really struggled, giving up work to look after him when he was tiny, and then when she went back, we fought all the time, about work and childcare and housework ⦠everything became about scoring points: who'd worked the most hours that week, who'd changed the most nappies, who'd had the most broken night ⦠it was like this awful, awful competition where we both had to prove how hard our lives were. Then I got offered a better position at the hospital in Hammersmith, and I decided to take it. I think that was the last straw. I woke up one day and I just thought, I have so little time with Finlay,
and I want to enjoy it. I don't want to fight any more. So I moved out. That was about six months ago.'
âAnd she was okay with that?'
âShe was furious at first. I think she thought I was supposed to stay there so she could be angry with me all the time. But we started having counselling together and things are getting better now. Having Christmas together was a big step, and it seemed to go okay.'
âAnd you see Finlay â¦?'
âI normally go up one afternoon in the week, and every Saturday I take him to football. He comes to stay with me every second weekend as well. I think we have a better time together, and we spend real quality time too. I'm happier, he seems happier and I hope Lindsay's happier as well.'
âIt all sounds very civilised,' said Holly, sipping her wine. They seemed to have done in the bottle of wine and without her noticing, Fraser had ordered another and filled up her glass and his.
âI hope so,' he said, smiling.
âSo does this mean you're â¦' She didn't know quite what she was trying to say, and she had a sudden moment of terror that she'd got completely the wrong end of the stick and he was just being friendly. Damn, this dating/not dating thing was a minefield. She blushed furiously and stared down at her plate.
â ⦠Ready to move on?' he said quietly. She would have loved to see his facial expression, but that would mean lifting her eyes from her plate and as her face was the colour of the wine she was drinking, that wasn't going to happen. She allowed herself a small nod instead.
âDid you actually listen to the voicemail I left you?' he asked.
âNo.' She'd been too busy primping and exfoliating.
âI wish you had. It's a work of art. I sat in my office for an hour, and wrote down what I was going to say, and then read it in my best Radio Three classical-music-DJ voice.'
âBecause â¦'
âThis is the first time I've asked someone out. It's the first time I've been out with a woman who wasn't my wife, and I'm terrified. I'm so terrified I've accidentally drunk four glasses of wine and I'm going to have to put you in a cab home because I can't drive.'
âIf it's any consolation, I'm terrified too. The last time I dated ⦠well, it was a long time ago.'
âYou can't tell me a woman like you has been single for a long time. You're not a nun, are you?'
âFar from it ⦠just been recovering from a bad, bad breakup. That's why I came back from South Africa.'
âHow bad?'
âHe broke my heart, bankrupted my company, nearly landed me in jail and fled the country?'
âWow. Sounds like a great guy.'
âYes, well. All in the past now.' She smiled and said, âIs there any more wine?'
Fraser picked up the bottle and peered at it quizzically. âNope, all gone. I could order another â¦'
âA third?'
âHmm ⦠maybe not.'
âWell, you'd better call me a cab then.'
âYou're a cab.'
Holly smiled. âThose jolly paediatrician jokes still working for you?'
âWell, the kids keep coming back.'
âI'm not sure it's for the jokes though.'
âSo' â Fraser leaned back in his chair slightly â âI
could
call you a cab from here, or you could come back to mine, which it so happens is just around the corner, and we could have another glass of wine, or a cup of coffee, or I keep an awful brand of neon-pink squash that Finlay likes. I could rustle you up a glass of that. And then I could call you a cab from there.'
âWow, now that's an offer a girl would be crazy to refuse.'
Fraser paid the bill, and they left the restaurant. As they walked back to his flat, it seemed the easiest thing in the world to hold hands. He lived on the first floor of a rather nice house. Holly had imagined it would be a sad bachelor pad with make-do divorced-dad furniture and a sleeper couch, but instead it was a warm and cosy two-bedroomed apartment. He might have no interest in cars, but he had spent money and time to make a beautiful home. The living room had two enormous brick-red sofas, and a selection of kids' toys in a massive wicker basket under the coffee table. As soon as they arrived, Holly excused herself and went to the bathroom. She was nervous ⦠Being in Fraser's apartment suddenly made this seem very real. She liked him a lot and was definitely attracted to him, but was she ready to sleep with him? Did he think she would? Damn! She was out of practice with this whole dating thing. She washed her hands, tidied her hair and contemplated putting on more lipstick, but then decided not to. She rinsed her mouth
out with water, squared her shoulders and went back into the living room.
Fraser had put on some music and was sitting on one of the sofas. He smiled lazily at her as she came into the room. She went over and perched on the opposite sofa.
âSo, Miss Evans,' he said in his best doctor voice, âwhat seems to be the trouble?'
âWell, Doctor,' she said, âI'm really not sure how to play this. I've got a case of the first-date nerves and I'm suffering from trembling knees. What do you prescribe?'
âFirstly, I would recommend you come and sit over here, on this sofa. The view is so much better.'
Holly got up and crossed the room to sit beside him. He was looking at the opposite wall, and she looked at it too. It was a big expanse of wall, and it was empty except for a small framed picture about the size of an A4 sheet of paper.
âThe view's unusual,' she commented. âWhat's the picture? One of Finlay's?'
âNot exactly,' said Fraser. âGo and take a look.'
She got up again and crossed back to look at the picture. It was a small, simple pencil sketch of a sinuous naked woman. The style was familiar, but it wasn't until she glanced at the signature in the corner, that she realised. âOh my God, it's a Chagall. A real Chagall.'
âIndeed it is. I bought it when I moved here. Sold my very expensive car, bought the banger I drive now, and blew the money on that.'
âIt's beautiful.'
âI love it. I can sit here all evening and look at it.' Fraser had got up too, and was standing beside and slightly behind
her. She felt his hand touch the hair at her temple, lightly, so very lightly.
âThe cut has healed beautifully,' he said. âYou're barely going to have a scar at all. Soon no one will know I tried to brain you with a boomerang.'
He kept stroking her hair and then lightly touched the side of her face. She leaned lightly against his hand and he seemed to take that as encouragement, as she hoped he would. He slipped his hand down on to her shoulder and turned her gently into his arms. It was a very, very tentative first kiss, feather-light on her lips, dry and warm. But he smelled so good, so very, very masculine, that Holly found herself sliding her arms around his waist and pulling him closer to her. The kiss deepened, and they fell in a tangle on to the nearby sofa. He slid his hands all over her body, as if he didn't know where to touch her first, and kissed her mouth, her ears, her neck, anything he could reach. It was clumsy, they kept elbowing each other and clashing teeth, gasping, âSorry,' and âOh God, you taste delicious,' and âYou too, but your elbow's on my hair.' It was so ridiculous, that, nice though it was, Holly felt herself starting to giggle. Fraser must have felt her smile against his lips because it made him smile too. The little bubble of laugher between them broke the tension, and they disentangled themselves and sat up, panting.
âWow, am I out of practice,' Fraser said ruefully.
âMe too.'
âI was so hoping to impress you with my smooth moves.'
âI was enjoying your moves,' she said, taking his hand.
âThere are spotty fifteen-year-olds with more impressive
moves,' he said. âLook, I desperately, desperately want to carry on, and drag you into my bedroom and take off all your clothes, but â¦'
âBut â¦?'
âThis is going to sound so stupid, but firstly, Lindsay will be dropping Finlay off here at eight tomorrow morning, and it would be slightly awkward if I was still in bed with you â¦'
âI see that.'
âAnd secondly, I haven't got any â¦'
âOh.'
âI don't suppose you â¦?' he said hopefully.
âNo, I'm not carrying a pack of condoms like a modern woman should,' she said. âI didn't think ⦠well, that we'd get here so quickly.'
âMe neither,' said Fraser. âBut you're just so â¦' He leaned over and kissed her again. The temperature between them very quickly began to rise again.
âOh God â¦' he groaned, breaking away. âRight now, I'd willingly trade in the Chagall for a pack of three.'
âI should go,' said Holly reluctantly. âWe don't have to ⦠do everything tonight. There'll be other nights. There will be other nights, won't there?'
âPlease. Please can there be another night really, really soon?' he said. âI'd say tomorrow, but I have Finlay for the weekend. Sunday night?'
âI don't know. I hope so. As soon as I know what's happening with my mum â¦'
âListen to us ⦠children, sick mothers ⦠We have all the sexy banter, don't we?' He grinned at her.
She leaned over and kissed him softly. âWelcome to adulthood, Dr John. Okay. One of us has to be strong. I'm going. If you could ring for a taxi for me, I'm going to get a glass of the radioactive squash you promised me.' She got up and walked towards the kitchen, very aware that Fraser was watching her shapely behind in her jeans and very glad that he was.
She was addicted. She logged on to Facebook at least ten times a day, to check if there'd been any action on Serena's wall, and to see what âTriggah' was up to. He obviously thought he was quite the gangster, but according to his date of birth he was just sixteen, and he was still in school. It wasn't the same school as Serena, and it wasn't a very good school, but he was, at least nominally, still in formal education. It was something.
Serena posted on his wall all the time. Often it was just a âluv ya babes', or a heart, or she'd put a YouTube link to some hideous song. Mel couldn't understand what they saw in the terrible music, but it seemed to be the thing that united Serena with this boy. He'd sometimes âlike' her posts, but didn't respond very often. He seemed to have stopped posting on Serena's wall as much as he used to. In fact, when Mel looked back, he hadn't posted anything there for several weeks.
She checked Facebook using her phone, but if she wanted to look at pictures in more detail, she preferred using a computer. Of course, it was risky to do it at home, because
while Serena usually disappeared into her bedroom and stayed there, she might emerge at any moment, so Mel could never relax. If Serena was out, she stayed online continually, in case there were updates or pictures posted, and she kept a constant eye on any events Serena said yes to attending. So far, she hadn't lied outright to Mel about parties she was going to, but she knew that she had stretched the truth a bit about who was going to be there or, if she was sleeping at a friend's house, how late she stayed. Mel felt much more in control now: as if she was a secret guardian angel watching over Serena. She knew that if Serena knew, she wouldn't see it in the same way at all, and she kept promising herself that she would stop once she was confident that Serena wasn't doing anything stupid, or as soon as she felt Serena was old enough to look after herself.
But then everyone started talking about the party. It started with a boy at Triggah's school posting an event he called âFree House'. Mel thought maybe he meant free house music, and that he was hosting some kind of gig, but she soon worked out that his parents would be out of town and that he'd be throwing a party with no adult supervision. People kept joining the event and there were soon over a hundred, including Serena and Triggah. Some wit posted, âAre we drinking your dad's booze cabinet, or do we bring our own? and that led to a flurry of comments, suggesting that if people clubbed together, someone's brother could be persuaded to go to Costco and get enough beer to get everyone slammed. Then a post appeared that chilled Mel to the bone: âJ says he'll come with draw and pills.' She didn't know what âdraw' was, but in conjunction with âpills',
it didn't sound good. If she was to hazard a guess, it was probably a term for marijuana. She was no blushing innocent, and she'd smoked plenty of it when she was younger, but she'd heard that what was out there now was much more potent than the stuff they'd had as teenagers. Besides, Serena was so young, and if she was off her face, at an unsupervised party full of strangers and the hideous Triggah, who knew what might happen?