Wonderful Lonesome (41 page)

“We should be on our way home.” Abbie hoped Willem was not planning on errands.

“I’ll take you right now.”

She walked beside him to the wagon but declined his assistance getting up to the bench.

“Are you sure you want to go straight home?” Willem released the brake and raised the reins. “The house…well, it will seem empty, will it not?”

“I have to face it. There’s no point putting it off.”

“Abbie,” he said, “if there’s anything I can do to help, you know I will do it.”

She craned her gaze away. “There’s not much to manage.
Daed
disposed of nearly everything.”

Willem nudged the team into the road.

“Are you really going to try to buy our land?” Abbie gripped the bench with both hands.

Willem waved the reins gently. “I’d like to buy some of it. The bank officers may not agree.”

“Gottes wille.”

“Yes. God’s will.” He looked at her. “I don’t want you to be angry with me.”

“How can I be angry with God’s will?”

“It will help your family if I can buy some of the acres. I would pay as fair a price as anyone.”

Abbie pressed her lips together. Did he think she did not understand that the price considered fair had dropped considerably in recent months?

“Abbie, something else is bothering you. We know each other too well for me not to notice.”

She permitted herself a glance at his face but looked away quickly. Even her mother had promised not to tell her father of Abbie’s decision until the train had crossed into Nebraska. Rudy deserved to hear the news that she would accept his proposal before Willem did.

“I’ve changed my mind,” she said. “I’d like you to take me to Rudy’s farm.”

“Of course. We’ll stop by there first. Then I’ll make sure you get home all right.”

“There’s no need for you to wait for me.”

“Abbie—”

“Please, Willem. Just take me to Rudy’s.”

“May I kiss you?” Rudy’s face glowed in relief as he gripped both her hands.

Abbie nodded. Now that the moment had come, she wanted him to. His lips were dry, but softer than she had imagined lips so thin could be. He lingered only a few nervous seconds. Before he could pull back, Abbie leaned in with firmer pressure. Rudy’s arms encircled her now. This is what the embrace of her husband would feel like, the man she would lie beside and rise beside.

“I was so sure you were going to turn me down,” Rudy whispered into her ear. “I didn’t even speak to your father.”

“Then why did you ask me?”

“I had nothing to lose.”

“Well, I didn’t turn you down. So we’ll have some plans to make.”

He released her. “We’ll do whatever you want to the house. I’ll find a way. You’ll see. This place can be a home.”

“I know it can. It will be
our
home.”

“Your family is gone. I hate to think of you alone in that house.”

Abbie could not remember a time she had ever been alone in the house for an entire night.

“When…how soon…?”

Rudy twisted his lips in calculation. “A month? We’ll have to wait until the harvest is over in Ordway before we could hope a minister would come.”

“Of course.”

“Will you finish your quilt in time? Will it be ready to use as our wedding quilt?”

Abbie swallowed hard. When she started the quilt, she imagined it in Willem’s house, not Rudy’s. But she had nothing else to offer.

“It’s almost finished,” she said.

“Good. I don’t want you to be discouraged because some families have left. I want you to look at your quilt and believe that more will come.”

“You are very sweet, Rudy Stutzman.”

He kissed her again.

Can’t we sit on the sun porch?” Eight-year-old Fin Wood’s eyes pleaded with Abbie. “Just one more chapter?”

She nodded. “But you have to read aloud this time.”

“I like listening to you read.”

“I know, but we have to be sure you can read for yourself. We’ll take turns with every paragraph. How would that be?”

Fin made a slow pivot and led her toward the sun porch. Once winter gusted in, the porch would be too cold. For now waning October days offered appeal. They settled in together on a brown wicker loveseat cushioned in a red-and-blue floral chintz. As she tucked her skirt, Abbie felt the smooth crispness of the fabric and noticed the bits of green and yellow at the edges of the flowers. Her fingers lingered on the curve of a broad leaf.

“Mama says this is her favorite place in the whole house,” Fin said. “Mine, too.”

“I can see why.” The porch faced west, toward the mountains. The wide screens and the length of the porch gave a panoramic view of open ranch land.

Maybe this is what Willem wanted, Abbie thought. Acres and acres of possibility, but farm crops rather than cattle between the zigzag of fencing. She forced her mind to shift to Rudy, uncertain how she was going to break the habit of wondering about Willem.

She opened the book,
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
. “Where did we leave off?”

“Toto!” Fin said.

“Oh yes.” Abbie found the page and handed the book to Fin. He began to read, stumbling on a few words but easily gaining momentum. In her years at an
English
school, the Amish parents sought alternative assignments if they felt an
English
book was disparate from their educational goals. She read American history and biographies but never anything as fanciful as this book that enchanted Fin Wood—and would have enchanted Levi Weaver if he ever had the chance to read it. It certainly was imaginative, but Abbie did not see how it would prepare Fin to someday run his father’s ranch.

A door opened, and Louise Wood appeared with a tray. “I thought you might enjoy some refreshment.”

“Thank you.” Abbie took the glass of lemonade that Louise offered.

“I haven’t seen your friend Willem lately,” Louise said. “I hope he is not unwell.”

Abbie had not seen Willem in three days, not since he dropped her at Rudy’s farm on Monday afternoon.

“I pray not,” Abbie said. “I don’t always see him often myself.”

“Oh? I rather thought you two were sweet on each other.” Louise handed her son a glass and set a plate of sugar cookies in front of him.

Abbie fought the blush creeping into her cheeks. “There was a time when we considered one another in that regard.”

“Have you had a falling out?”

Abbie dodged the question. “I hope to always count Willem among my friends, but I have recently accepted the proposal of another man.”

Louise smiled. “Of course a young woman as lovely as you would have suitors. I hope you will be very happy with your young man.”

Abbie returned the smile. “We are quite compatible.”

Fin pushed the book into Abbie’s lap. “It’s your turn to read.”

Abbie waited for the stunned expression on Mary Miller’s face to fade.

“I know you weren’t expecting this,” Abbie said. “Neither was I. But I know it’s the right thing.”

Mary shrugged. “It is the way of the Amish to keep courting private. Albert and I did not even drive home from singings together in Pennsylvania because we didn’t want our families to speculate.”

“How did you court, then?”

“We managed to find a few minutes here and there at a picnic or an auction.” Mary stood on her porch and pulled her shawl snug. “In our old district the people came together all the time. I don’t understand how you and Rudy courted, though. We don’t even have church out here, much less singings or auctions.”

Abbie tilted her head to think. She had not even thought they were courting. “It started with his calf, I suppose. We were both afraid she wouldn’t make it. I fell into the habit of looking in on her when I stopped by with bread. More and more, Rudy was in the barn when I got there.”

“So this is why you did not leave with your parents.”

“Not really.” Abbie rolled her bottom lip in but immediately pushed it out. She did not want Mary—or anyone—to think she harbored doubt. “I stayed behind because I wanted to remain with the community. I came to be a settler, and I mean to settle.”

“Even if there is no community in the end?”

“The end of what, Mary? Does God’s will have a timeline?” Abbie searched her friend’s eyes for what she really meant.

“Come inside,” Mary said. “I’ll make tea.”

Abbie waved off the suggestion. “Thank you, but don’t go to the trouble. I’ve had a long day already.”

“I heard about your position on the Wood ranch.”

“It’s just for a few weeks,” Abbie said. “But I am tired, and Rudy is bringing me some milk and cheese before supper.”

Mary’s smile looked forced. “Another time, then. I pray you and Rudy will be as happy as Albert and I are.”

Abbie shuffled to her buggy and watched as Mary called for Little Abe and herded him into the house. Too late she realized Mary had meant to tell her something over tea, and Abbie had been too distracted to listen.

For three days Willem festered over Abbie’s peculiar behavior on the day her parents departed. No matter how many times and how many ways he explained away her reticence toward him, he was not satisfied. At least once each day he marched to the barn resolved to saddle up his stallion and go make sure Abbie was all right. Every time, though, he put the tack back on the wall. She might not even be there because of her work schedule, and during the wagon ride home from the depot she had adamantly resisted offers of help ranging from subtle generalities to specific chores.

And going to the Mennonite church service—even though the Millers participated as well—had set his course away from her. At least that was her opinion, and it was pronounced enough that she would rather get her milk and eggs from Rudy Stutzman. She had managed to leave his bread that week without encountering Willem, even though he had not left the farm in three days. Willem had not expected she would treat him so cooly so quickly.

On Thursday afternoon, Willem decided to muck the stalls thoroughly, as if clearing soiled straw would also clear his mind. By the time he heard the sound of the approaching buggy, betrayed by snorting horses, Willem had worked up a sweat. He went outside to greet Moses Troyer.

“The news is good,
ya
?” Grinning, Moses jumped down from the bench.