Words Heard in Silence (37 page)

Charlie had spent some time the previous evening examining the map of Culpeper County. Dividing it roughly into four quadrants, he decided to start in the eastern part of the county. He had planned a loop that took him to Alanthus, through Brandy Station, over to Kelly’s Ford, down to Lignum and back through Stevensburg. It was a brisk day’s ride. If all went well, he would be back in plenty of time for dinner.

;

Alanthus was his first stop. Having left so early, Charlie and Jocko rode into town just as the small general store was being opened. It never seemed to fail; the local general store was the gathering place for news and gossip in every small town Charlie had ever been in. Charlie and Jocko left their horses tied at the rail and entered quietly. The soft buzz of normal morning banter faded to a cold and hostile silence as the people in the small building realized who had just joined them.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen."

Silence.

"My name is Colonel Charles Redmond, of the 13th Pennsylvania Cavalry. We are wintering over in Culpeper, and I am conducting a tour of the area to determine what we can do to assist you with winter coming on. My men are prepared to do basic repairs, fix fences, chop firewood, or winter-till fields to prepare for the spring. All we ask in return is that you be willing to recognize that we are all citizens of the same country, the United States, by signing our oath of allegiance. I have issued strict orders that no men of mine are to harass or show any disrespect toward you or yours. If such an event does occur, please come to me and I will ensure the individuals responsible are appropriately disciplined.

"Now, Sergeant Jackson and I are conducting a survey of the work that needs to be done so we can assign men with the correct skills to assist you. Is there anything we can do to help you out?"

The men and women in the small store looked at one another, confusion combining with hostility toward this crazy Yankee.

Finally, one man stepped out. "Colonel. We are Virginians. We need no help from you. Take your troops and leave us in peace."

"I have no one with me but Sergeant Jackson. We will be around town for a little bit, and either he or I will be through periodically, so please feel free to contact either of us if you need something. Otherwise, I bid you good day."

Charlie and Jocko walked out of the store and turned the corner. Charlie grinned at his partner and leaned up against the wall of the store. A pair of cigars came out of his breast pocket and he offered one to Jocko, making a sign for silence at the same time. Jocko looked at him like he had lost his mind, until he heard the voices coming out of the window they were standing near.

"My God. What did that man think he was doing here?"

"He has courage, I will give him that. Walk into enemy territory all alone."

"I would rather accept assistance from the devil himself than let some Yankee see how hard it has been."

"I do not know about you, but I would rather have a fire in the fireplace this winter than sustain my sense of pride. Anyway, think of it this way –– Yankees doing servants’ work seems pretty appropriate."

The arguments went on, each of them having something to say. After listening for a few more minutes, he motioned to Jocko to come away from their listening post. Slowly they strolled down the one street of the village, looking at the handful of shops and offices, noticing that every building needed at least paint and most needed some kind of repair. Several houses no longer had a woodpile, or only had a very small one. Jocko made some notes as they strolled. Finally, like so many small towns, Alanthus had a little park. They stopped in it, choosing a sheltered place to sit and wait. It did not take long.

A woman approached them hesitantly. Charlie rose and doffed his hat politely, waiting for the lady to speak.

"Colonel. Did you really mean what you said about helping?"

"Yes, ma’am, I did."

"I really do not know how to ask this, but I just have no idea what else to do."

"Well, ma’am," he said very gently, "we have all seen what war can do to people. There is no shame in asking for our assistance, for I do believe that we are all our brothers’ keepers."

"My husband was killed at Gettysburg and the one servant we did have ran away. I fear that without help, I will have no wood this winter."

Jocko stepped up. "Ma’am, I am John Jackson. I would be happy to personally make sure you are prepared for the winter."

"Pleased to meet you, Sergeant Jackson. I am Esther White. My, what a lovely accent you have. You are an Irishman?"

"Yes, ma’am. I am that."

"Then, Sergeant Jackson, I look forward to seeing you soon. And I am very grateful for your assistance."

"Ma’am. I will be there as soon as the Colonel permits."

Charlie inserted himself into the little tableau between Jocko and the attractive widow. "Mrs. White, will Monday be soon enough?"

"Why yes, Colonel. That will be fine. I have about half a cord of wood left, which should last me until then."

"We are at your service, ma’am."

Charlie and Jocko bowed to the lady and quietly departed. As they mounted up Charlie commented, "You know, Jocko, you will find plenty more where she came from." Jocko just grinned.

The rest of the day proceeded in approximately the same pattern. The level of hostility varied, depending on the degree to which the individual town had been affected by the war. Brandy Station was particularly hard, as they had recently fought a skirmish there. Kelly’s Ford was rather strange, as the local residents, who had provided ferry services for both union and confederate forces, viewed Charlie’s presence with indifference.

But the message was going out. And in every town, the fact that Charlie chose to ride with only his clerk as his escort made an impression.

R
ebecca watched as Constance left the breakfast table with Emily. She smiled as the child talked of 'Papa' all the way out of the room. Papa and Colonel Polk had already left for the day. Charlie was back out early to continue his mission of canvassing the county. This left Rebecca and Elizabeth sitting at the table.

"Emily certainly has fallen for Charlie." Rebecca smiled, pouring them both another cup of coffee.

"Yes, she has, has she not? It is amazing to watch Charlie play 'papa'. I personally expected him to have apoplexy over the mashed squash and cereal."

The blonde smiled. "Secretly I think he loves it, even if he is a little unsure of it all. Last night while we were having tea after dinner, he kept talking of Emily. I think he is just as smitten."

"It is startling how much she resembles him." Elizabeth detected a note of something not quite right or comfortable in Rebecca's tone.

"Yes," she agreed before sipping her coffee. "Charlie could certainly pass for her father. They even have the same chin." She leaned back in her chair and played with her napkin. "Charlie would make a wonderful father."

"And you, my dear friend, would make a truly wonderful mother."

"You are very kind, but I am not sure about that. Not that I would not love to try, but you have seen the affinity the child has for Charlie. It is astounding. She certainly does not light up like that when I walk into the room. And given the choice, she would much prefer Charlie's lap over my own." Rebecca sighed. "But she does have her mother near."

"Rebecca, think on this for a minute. That child's affinity for Charlie is for one reason and only one reason. He looks like her daddy. And she misses her daddy more than she can express at her age." Elizabeth thought for a moment. "You know, you resemble her mother somewhat. If her mother had gone away when she was eleven months old and then you appeared in her life and were gentle and loving, she would adore you the way she adores him. You would be the mother she misses returned to her."

"I suppose that is true." She smiled at her friend. "But whatever the reason, that child is totally in love with our Charlie. He manages to charm the ladies, no matter what the age." She drew a deep breath. "Elizabeth, I have a question and I do not know who else to turn to for the answer. Do you mind?"

Elizabeth looked at Rebecca closely. She appeared concerned, confused and embarrassed all at once.
Ah. Another round of lessons from the unconventional doctor. Well, this should be interesting.
"Of course not, Rebecca. I told you that you could ask me anything and I would do my best to give you an honest answer."

Rebecca moved from her seat to the one occupied by Colonel Polk over breakfast, the one closest to Elizabeth. "Uh... I must admit I am not sure how to put this. It is about…… intimate matters."

Elizabeth bowed her head and patted her lips with her napkin, because that is what proper ladies did when they wanted to hide a terrible smirk.
Introductory same gender sex. This should be interesting indeed.
"Yes? I will certainly help if I can. After all, is that not what doctors are for?"

"Oh Lord," Rebecca ran her hand over her face trying to remove the blush. "You see, marital duties with my husband were just that…… duties. I never actually enjoyed my interludes with him." She took another drink of her coffee waiting to see what that admission would bring from her friend.

Elizabeth's professional face was firmly in place, kind, accepting, understanding, and non-judgmental. "I know that is true for many women, unfortunately. Their husbands fail to take the time or effort to teach them intimacy can, and should, be an expression of deep love for both partners."

"I am sure it would have helped if we had loved each other." That was out before Rebecca thought about it. She shook her head. "I am sorry, I am getting off course here. Obviously, I want to ask you about something else. You see, Charlie and I have agreed to take things slow. And since then, at night we have been cuddling and sharing small kisses……" She looked to the doctor trying to hide her smile. "I have discovered I rather like that."

"I would imagine so. Charlie can be very gentle and very tender. So what is it about this that bothers you?"

"Oh, that does not bother me!" She was quick to defend. "I really do enjoy it and Charlie is very patient, but I am afraid I may be hurting Charlie."

Elizabeth had a very clear picture in her mind of a rather excited Charlie trying very hard to be gentle and to restrain himself. She suspected under that very controlled surface lay an extraordinarily passionate soul, one for whom tender kisses and sisterly embraces would be little solace indeed. "Hurting him how, dear lady?"

"Umm," She blushed deeper red. "He is never going to forgive me for knowing this. Night before last, I retired before Charlie as he had paperwork to do. He came up sometime later and came to bed. He thought I was asleep, but I was not. He smelled of cigars and brandy." She bit her lip and looked to her friend.

"Well, perhaps he stopped to have a drink and chat with one of his officers. I understand gentlemen often do such things."
Where was this going? Just because Charlie had a brandy with one of his men did not indicate he was hurting in any way. In fact, I know he often reaches out, a man or two at a time, to build more solid relationships with his staff.
"I do not see how that leads you to believe he may be hurting."

"Well, you see, when he came to bed he was naked." She looked directly at the table and waited.

Elizabeth waited patiently for Rebecca to continue. Clearly, a little goading was going to be necessary. "Was that a problem for you, dear?"

"No. Actually, I found Charlie," she leaned over and whispered so no one save them would hear. "In all her glory quite enchanting." She sat back up and continued at a semi-normal level. "He got into bed and laid next to me. I let him think I was asleep but I watched him, while he umm……well……"

"While he?"
Oh, this is prime. Charlie, Charlie. What have you gotten yourself into?

"While he," Rebecca was sure she was going to die of embarrassment. "He pleasured himself."

Elizabeth’s nose twitched. She bit her lower lip. Laughing in the face of Rebecca’s obvious discomfort would clearly not do.
So. Charlie had a bad night, had a couple of drinks with one of the other gentlemen, went to bed to lie beside a beautiful woman who is sleeping peacefully and who Charlie desires to the core of his soul, and had to do something to relieve the pressure a little.
"How do you think this is hurtful to Charlie, my dear?"

"Oh dear, I must be doing something wrong……if he needs……I do not know……" She blushed and hid her face behind her hand. "He called my name."

"Then perhaps, dear Rebecca, you are doing something very right. Has it occurred to you that Charlie desires you deeply and respects you enough to keep his passion at bay until you are ready?"

"But, umm, is that normal?"

"Is what normal? Needing to relieve a little of the pressure of a deep, persistent desire, or being willing to wait patiently until you are ready to both accept and return his passion?"

Rebecca really liked Elizabeth, but the woman's refusal to answer a simple question was maddening. She laughed, now the situation was getting too silly for words. "Do that……you know……what Charlie did."

"I assume that Charlie masturbated. And further, that as he reached release, he called out your name. If I were you, I would be very flattered." Elizabeth smiled. "All it means is that he wants you, desires you and is doing what he needs to do to wait for you to feel the same for him."

"So I should not be worried?" She chewed on her lip. "I have just never been subject to such a thing. I thought something was wrong."

Elizabeth looked at her friend with some concern. "Dear woman, have you never felt the joy that desire, that a loving touch can bring? Have you never explored your own sensuality? That is all Charlie was doing. I suspect he either wanted to touch you, caress you, and bring you intense pleasure or he was fantasizing about your doing that to him. What made you think something was wrong?"