Words Heard in Silence (83 page)

"Then let us agree to this. We will keep the farm and remain there, but if opportunities should arise for you here, then we will discuss it again."

"That seems perfectly reasonable to me, dear. And there is always the opportunity to bring the advantages to Culpeper. There are so many things that we need to rebuild the infrastructure of the town –– a bank, more rail traffic."

"This is true. We will take things as they come. One day at a time."

"For now, love, we have arrived." Charlie pulled the buggy to in front of a rather standard townhouse. Georgetown was the last port on the Potomac River before it became too rocky for large boats to navigate it, a vital and bustling town for the past hundred and fifty years. Charlie helped Rebecca to the street, handing the reins to a post boy who had been waiting for them.

They walked to the front door, where once again, the young captain who served as Meigs’ aide met them and escorted them to a lovely formal parlor overlooking the garden at the back of the house. Mrs. Meigs apologized for not rising to greet them, as her rheumatism was plaguing her in the chill, damp weather. The General abducted Charlie to discuss a business matter for a few minutes.

"I declare, it is always damp here. In the winter, chill and damp; in the summer, hot and humid, but always damp. Be thankful, Mrs. Redmond, that you live in the foothills, where you are not plagued as we are in the city."

Rebecca smiled politely. "Of course Mrs. Meigs. Perhaps after the war you and General Meigs would be our guest at Redmond Stables."

"That would be lovely. I have heard that the country around Culpeper is beautiful. Tell me, can you see the mountains from your home?"

"Oh yes, very clearly. Our land is actually backed up against the mountains."

"That must be lovely. We have had to move about so often, being in the military, that I have had no real hope of establishing a family home like that. Why, I believe this house in Georgetown is the closest to a home we have ever had."

"I can only imagine. As a matter of fact, General Redmond and I were just discussing if we should consider moving to Washington. But since he is leaving the Army after the war, we have decided to remain in Culpeper for the time being."

"I do envy you, my dear. So, General Redmond is leaving the Army. I do indeed envy you. I believe that General Meigs will be in the service until the day he dies."

"Yes, General Redmond has decided to retire. He will be at his twenty-year mark and he has decided to take his leave. We are going to start a horse breeding program."

"Oh, how lovely. But do you really think that the folks in Culpeper will accept having a Yankee general in their midst?"

Rebecca chuckled. "They are split in their opinions. But I am sure that in time, General Redmond will overcome his detractors."

"Well, I do wish you good luck. Here in Washington, we have the reverse situation. Staunch supporters of the Union who are Southerners often receive less than charitable treatment. Why, even Mrs. Lincoln has had to suffer at the hands of the more radical Northerners."

"I am sure. These times have been very difficult on everyone. I do hope it is over soon."

"Well, I cannot say for sure, but many of the conversations I have heard suggest that the Confederacy cannot stand for much longer. I know that I for one have paid a terrible price for this war. But there are so many who want to somehow punish the Southern states for their personal pain that I cannot help but fear that we have not seen the last of this."

"I must admit that I have a very personal interest in seeing this end soon. I wish for my husband to come home, so we can begin our life together. It may seem selfish, but I cannot help it."

"For your sake, my dear, I hope that General Redmond can return to you. So many women have lost their husbands, their fathers, their sons." Mrs. Meigs could not help the tears that came to her eyes; her son had been killed just a few months earlier.

R
iding back to the hotel than afternoon, Rebecca could not help but brood over the possibility of losing Charlie in the war. She clung to his arm tightly, but would not tell him why she was so distressed. Finally, in their room preparing for a quiet dinner beside the fire, he forced the issue.

"Rebecca, darling. You and I have been married for less than three days, yet you are acting like someone in mourning. Have you found that the idea of being married to me is not what you want?"

"Of course not. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I just know that our time together is getting short, and I cannot help but feel helpless that there is nothing I can do but watch you ride away. And from what I have heard, the last days of this war are going to be horrid. I am worried for you."

"Do not worry too much, darling. I have managed to come through some of the worst of two wars with only minor injuries. I cannot believe my luck will change now." He lifted her hand and tenderly kissed her palm. "For luck, darling. On a different topic, dear, are you ready to meet Lizzie tomorrow?"

"Yes. I am actually looking forward to it. I hope that we will become friends."

Charlie just smiled, a somewhat forced smile, and served Rebecca some sliced beef.
Oh my God, what will happen to me when those two get together?

"You are nervous about this," she stated as she poured Charlie a glass of wine.

Charlie thought about it for a moment and then agreed. "Yes. I suspect there are three women in the world who actually know me pretty well. You. Elizabeth. And Lizzie. You and Elizabeth are dangerous enough without adding Lizzie. Between you, I suspect you will identify every single flaw and weakness I have. Fortunately, I also have enough faith in your love for me to know I will be the more object of teasing than of hurtfulness."

"I am not interested in finding your flaws, Charlie. I just want to know your friends. I want to know the people who you trust enough to share your secret with."

Charlie knew when it was time to surrender and tuck his insecurities back in the little black pit where they belonged. "Yes, dear."
Hmmmm. There was that phrase again.

E
lizabeth Armstrong had dressed in a modest gray walking dress and a veiled hat. Her hair was up when she walked into the Willard that day. This was not the flamboyant hostess and confidante of the Washington powerful, but instead a quiet, discreet woman on her way to lunch privately with friends.

She knocked at the door to Charlie and Rebecca’s suite, where she was immediately greeted by both of her hosts. As Charlie took her wraps and hat, Rebecca looked her ex-competitor over carefully.

"Hello, Mrs. Armstrong, it is so nice finally to meet you."

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Redmond. I am very grateful that you have invited me."

Charlie looked at the two of them a little stunned. He had never seen Lizzie dressed so conservatively. Nor had he ever seen her so…… reserved.

"Please, come in and sit. I have been looking forward to meeting you. Charlie has told me so much about you."

"Thank you, ma’am. He told me a little of you when he was here last month, as well. You seem to have given him something very special."

Rebecca led her guest to the davenport. "Well I hope so, but I have not given Charlie anything he has not given me."

Lizzie spent a moment settling herself on the davenport. She looked at the room, at the warm fire in the hearth, in fact everywhere except at Charlie or Rebecca. In a small voice, she said, "I envy you."

Rebecca looked to Charlie, feeling very lost and encouraging him to say something to the woman.

Charlie cleared his throat, groping for something neutral to say. "Um. Thank you so much for your wedding gift." He realized what he had just thanked her for and turned a truly startling shade of red.

Rebecca realized this was not going to get any better as long as Charlie was there to insert his boot into his mouth. "Darling," she smiled and tried to force the blush from her own face. "There is a matter to be taken up with your lawyer; now might be a good time to do so."

Charlie looked at her gratefully. Escaping was the best idea he had heard in a while. "Why, yes, dear, I do need to drop in on him. Let me just get the papers and my coat, and I will leave you two ladies to have a nice chat. Do not worry about lunch for me; I will grab something with my attorney." With that, Charlie bustled about the room for a moment, put some papers in his coat pocket, threw his greatcoat over his arm and bolted from the room.

Rebecca watched him go and smiled. Turning back to Lizzie, she sighed. "He is very good at the tactical retreat."

Lizzie laughed. "You know, I do not think I have ever seen the man so flustered."

"He tends to get that way when he feels overwhelmed by the fairer sex and I believe that you and I in the same room was more than he could handle."

"So we have overwhelmed him. Hmmm. The great ‘‘Lucky Charlie’ abashed by his own gender. This does have a certain…… irony." Lizzie fussed for a moment, and then changed the subject. "I hope you did not find my wedding present to be too…… presumptuous."

"No, actually, I found it very intriguing. Thank you. So tell me Mrs. Armstrong, why do you seem so nervous? I promise you I mean you no harm." Rebecca teased as she poured two cups of tea.

Lizzie drew in a deep breath. "Mrs. Redmond, a woman such as I am is not proper company for a lady like you. If the people you meet socially knew you had me as a guest in your rooms, they would shun you in a heartbeat."

Now Rebecca truly laughed. Eventually, she regained control of herself and offer Lizzie a pat on the arm. "My dear Mrs. Armstrong, the last thing in this world I am concerned with is what other people think. You are a friend of Charlie’s and I wanted to meet you in hopes that we also could become friends."

Lizzie blushed at Rebecca’s outburst. Charlie’s new wife clearly regarded social norms as annoyances, which was a refreshing change of attitude in Lizzie’s experience. "Ma’am, you do not understand. If I happen to meet one of the ‘‘proper’ ladies of this town at the haberdashery or the tearoom, they will cut me dead. I would not like that to happen to you."

"Mrs. Armstrong, I honestly do not care what people think. You are an important person in Charlie's life, a person who cares for him and a person he cares for. Your friendship is far more important than what people I do not know may think, or even, for that matter, what people I do know may think, because to be perfectly honest I do not like most of them anyhow."

Lizzie looked at Rebecca with an expression of total astonishment. Women of her acquaintance were simply not so outspoken. Slowly, astonishment turned to amusement. "My, my, Charlie has indeed found his match in you, ma’am," she grinned.

"I hope so. So, now, let us put all this talk of propriety away and enjoy ourselves."

Lizzie took a sip of tea and looked over at the table with their luncheon set out waiting for them. "I will if you promise not to let that lovely luncheon get cold."

"Very well. Shall we?" Rebecca moved to the table, gesturing for Lizzie to join her. Once the woman was seated, Rebecca continued. "Tell me, when did you meet Charlie?"

"Charlie and I met back when he was a newly made a captain and was assigned to work here in the Capitol for the first time. I was just a young thing, working for one of the more discreet madams in town. In fact, he helped me go into business on my own, a kindness for which I am very grateful. Over the years, we have renewed our acquaintance whenever he was in town. He has always been more of a friend than a client."

"I could tell that. He speaks of you as if you are one of his dearest and most trusted friends. You must know it is very hard for Charlie to allow anyone to get to close to him. Even Colonel Polk, who has been Charlie's friend for many years, does not know. As far as I know, there are only five of us who know Charlie’s secret."

"So how did you figure his secret out? More significantly, how did you feel about it when you did realize what he is?"

"I noticed the first time I met Charlie. He had been wounded in the shoulder. When I cleaned the wound, I noticed the bindings under his shirt. To be honest, I was terribly confused and amazed. I was amazed he had been able to hide so well for so long. When I realized I was developing feelings for Charlie, I fought them for the longest time." She smiled at Lizzie. "Then I realized it was just useless to fight something so powerful."

"It must have been very confusing for you. I doubt you had ever met anyone like Charlie before."

"Not that I was aware of, that is for certain. But I fell in love with Charlie, not Charlie's body. She is an amazing woman and quite a gallant gentleman."

A wistful look came over Lizzie’s features, as she looked away from Rebecca. "Yes, she is amazing and he is infinitely gallant."

"You love Charlie."

Lizzie took a deep breath. "Of course I do. He is one of my dearest friends."

Rebecca smiled. "That is not what I meant. You would have gone away with Charlie and lived as his wife."

A long silence ensued, while Lizzie simply sat there, with her eyes closed, twisting her napkin into an unrecognizable wad. Finally, she responded. "No, I would not have, for Charlie never asked me and, to be honest, never loved me that way. I was his friend, his mentor, and the place he went when the pain of being alone became too great. I was never the dream he reached for, as you are."

"Mrs. Armstrong, I think I know Charlie well enough to say that had you made your feelings known, it might have very well been you. I can say with a great deal of sincerity that Charlie loves you. Very much."

"He loves me as a friend. But he is not, nor has he ever been, in love with me. There is a huge difference between what he feels for you and what he feels for me. So I envy you. I wish it had been me that he saw his future in, but it was not. Perhaps it is because of the decisions I have made in my life; perhaps it was just not meant to be. But, my dear lady, I do love him enough to wish you and him well."