Words Heard in Silence (9 page)

"I thought that Buck County, Pennsylvania, where I did my basic training for the army, was spectacular horse country - rolling hills, sweeping pastures and plenty of water, but there is something about this place that is truly special. I have not been able to decide if it is the colors, the mountains like lavender ghosts in the west or something as intangible as the quality of the air that makes this place so unique."

"Indeed. There is just something very special about the land here. My father always told me when I was growing up, that first, God created Virginia. Then he did everything else."

Charlie chuckled at that conceit. "Well, ma'am, perhaps he was right. All I know is that even with the neglect of the past years, this is the loveliest land I have ever seen. The only thing I miss is the smell of the ocean."

They reached the end of the driveway and turned right onto the dirt road that ran off to the southwest. Behind them lay the road to Culpeper and the encampment of the 13th Pennsylvania; before them lay fields that had been allowed to go fallow in the years since the war began, for lack of anyone to plant and tend them. Charlie saw a land rich with possibilities, nurtured over the years with loving hands, but now being slowly reclaimed by nature. All this land needed was some tender husbandry to be a spectacular horse farm again.

Rebecca drew him out of his contemplation of the vista before him. "I suppose, through the years you have seen many interesting places."

"Well, I have been all around the United States. Most places were pretty much the same - an army camp or fort, with the opportunity to go into town occasionally. But I grew up in Charleston, which is a beautiful city with a spectacular harbor. I have spent some time up in New York and along the Canadian border, some time in Pennsylvania and a tour of duty at Fort Pulaski in Georgia."

Charlie’s voice changed subtly, as he recalled the places he had been and seen in the past three years on the western front. "Then I have been out along the Mississippi, but that was different."

"Why? What made it different?"

In a very tight voice, he responded, "I was at Vicksburg, ma'am. It was not the way to see the Mississippi lands at their best."

"I am sorry, Colonel. I certainly did not mean to pry."

"No, ma'am. You did not pry. Its just that Vicksburg was a terrible time." Charlie took a deep breath, shaking off the more gruesome memories that came to his mind whenever the subject of Vicksburg arose. "I will say, the river is an amazing thing. I have never seen such power, such an awe-inspiring sight. It is like the greatest highroad you have ever seen, multiplied a hundred times, this great, powerful beast rolling along."

"Then maybe one day, you will go back there, so you might enjoy it properly."

"Perhaps, Miss Rebecca. Would you like to visit such things?"

"Oh why yes, of course. I am just not sure what my future shall bring when the war is over. So, for the time being I must think of the here an now and not concern myself with dreams of distance places and new people."

Charlie’s heart went out to the woman who was facing a future that no one could predict, with no allies, no resources and no hope; just an implacable determination to survive. "Well, ma'am, I hope you will consider my offer. It is meant to provide you with the means to, at least, have a sound foundation to build on when the war is over."

"I have thought about it, Colonel. I must admit, at first I was hesitant. But then I realized that you need a place to winter and that my land could only benefit from being used again. I am not sure what some of the local gossips will have to say about it, but I find I really do not care. If you would like to stay for the winter, Colonel, I would very much like that."

"Ma'am, I would be more than pleased to stay. My men and I need the rest, and this is a lovely place. We hope to not disaccommodate you, and to perhaps help you get the place back in shape." Somewhere in Charlie’s heart, another small window of hope and gratitude opened.

"Colonel, I will gratefully accept any help you wish to give. However, I can only imagine the amount of work your men will have to do to prepare your own camp. I do not want to be a burden to you, sir."

"I was hoping to use your stables, barns and other outbuildings for part of our winter quarters - that would allow us to also put them back into shape for your needs." Charlie paused, concerned that his own personal desires were perhaps inappropriate, then continued, "I was wondering. Is there a farm office that I might be able to use for my office, rather than use my tent over the winter?" He hoped the office was in the main house, as some were. It would mean he could be closer to her. And being closer to Rebecca was something Charlie found very attractive.

"There are many empty buildings available to you. Please choose whichever one will suit your needs."

Ah well, perhaps I asked for too much.
"I was also thinking of bringing in a full medical staff. I am not sure if you were aware of it, but half of our regiment was at the Wilderness and the other half are survivors of Vicksburg, so medical attention continues to be very necessary. I had thought to offer the medical services to the community as well to perhaps do some small bit to ease the strain."

Rebecca’s gentle smile lit her face. Directed at Charlie for the small kindness that he was more than able to offer, it also lit his heart. "I must admit Colonel, every time you speak, you amaze me. You have such a kind heart. You really care for those around you. You are a very special person, Colonel Redmond. I will also tell you now, that no matter what may happen in the future, I feel honored to have met you. I wish it could have been under different circumstances."

Charlie’s response was far more serious than Rebecca expected. "Ma'am, I am a career soldier. Contrary to what most people think, we career soldiers may be more devoted to the idea of peace than anyone else in society, for we know first hand what the alternatives are. This war has been such a terrible thing for our country, literally pitting brother against brother, father against child. I would give anything if the political leaders of our country could have found another way. Yet I must say, that had it not been for this war I would have never met you, and my life would be poorer for that."

"You certainly do know how to turn a lady's head, sir. There must be a lady waiting some where for her gallant Colonel to return." In the moment, Charlie was all male, a charming gentleman.

Rebecca’s words cut a path through the Colonel’s soul, once more reminding him that who he appeared to be was a faççade. Because of that, there was no hope of a life outside the Army, of a home, or a loving partner. Though she could not see his face, as he had nudged his horse a step or two ahead of hers, a terrible yearning and emptiness darkened his features for a moment. In a low voice, laced with his own personal sorrow, he responded. "Nay, ma'am. I have been a solitary soul. For as you know, there are few if any who would join with such as I am."

Rebecca plowed on; oblivious to Charlie’s pain and consumed by her own curiosity and fascination with his situation. "I will admit that the idea is new to me, Colonel. But, I am sure there are others who would be delighted to share their life with you. You should not be alone. You deserve only the best things life can bring you."

Her words cut through him like a knife.
I deserve exactly what I have. Nothing. No hope. No love. I am a thief in the night, stealing what little shreds I can, because I know that no woman who knows the whole sordid little story would ever want the likes of me. I have to stop leading her on like this.

Aloud he answered her gently. "Would that I and others could agree with you, ma'am. Were you to know..." Charlie’s voice trailed off for a moment. He cleared his throat, seeking to change the subject quickly; any further discussion would be more than even his stoicism could endure without cracking.

"The land here looks to have been under cultivation at one time. Is this where your family grew the corn and such?"

"Yes, we grew that which was required to keep the horses healthy and happy. Our surplus we sold in town. It is been a long time since it is been planted."

Rebecca looked out over the fallow lands, seeing it in her minds eye as it had been before the war had changed everything. A soft chuckle escaped her lips. "My mare, Ginger, would often find her way out here to try the early growth. It used to drive my brother and my husband to near distraction. She definitely had a mind of her own and a taste for sweet corn."

"You loved that horse very much, I think."

"I did. She was a wedding gift to me from my father. My husband tried to claim her as part of my dowry, but I let him know right away that she was mine and belonged to no other."

"May I ask?"

"You may ask me anything, Colonel."

"What happened to her?"

"Ah well, she was taken from me when they started commandeering things to help the war effort. The Confederate soldiers took everything that was not nailed down. What you found me with is most of what I was left with."

"Oh, my dear lady, I am so sorry. I wish there were some way I could make all of the pains go away, as if it never occurred. Alas, I cannot. But my men and I will do what we can to at least leave you and this community comfortable when we leave."

"On a lighter note, ma'am, how do you find Shannon as a mount?"

"You are very kind Colonel, your company is very soothing. I do so enjoy it. And Shannon is a fine girl." She gave the mare a firm and loving pat on her broad neck. "She is very well behaved and I can tell she is a smart one as well. I am sure if given the chance we would find her tasting the sweet corn as well."

The Colonel laughed heartily, "She has a love of the tender shoots that will become the husks - very hard on a corn crop is my Shannon girl. She goes sweetly, ma'am. If you were up for it, I think you would find her gaits smooth and exhilarating."

"Colonel, with you as my guide, I believe I am up for almost anything."

"Well, ma'am - this is a lovely swath of pasturage we are coming on to the right. Shall we ride toward the mountains for a bit? And you can try her paces."

"That would be lovely, sir. I must admit to feeling a bit selfish in not wanting to return home. This fine animal and your gentle company are so delightful; I would so enjoy extending our ride. If you do not have business to attend to?"

"Miss Rebecca, I am at your service for the entire rest of the day and evening. Come, ma'am, your horsemanship is outstanding - I will race you to that copse of trees."

Without another word, Rebecca spurred Shannon to a gallop. Mane and tail floating, muscles rippling, the big mare showed her paces willingly. Rebecca reveled in the joy of the moment, the freedom, the wind in her face and a strong, responsive horse beneath her. Charlie just caught up as they reached the small copse of trees that surrounded Gaines Run. Rebecca was laughing with pure pleasure, her skin flushed from excitement and the crisp air. A strand of hair had come free in the rush of the gallop across the field. The sight was enough to make Charlie's hands tremble with the desire to reach out and smooth that lock of hair back into place.

Slightly breathless, Rebecca turned. "Colonel, I believe our mounts have earned a drink and a rest. Let us walk for a bit."

"I am at your service, Ma'am." Charlie swung down from his mount, dropping the reins to ground tie the well-trained beast. He stepped over to Rebecca and offered her his arms to help her dismount. She could have let him put his hands around her waist and lift her down. Instead, she placed her hands gently on the Colonel's shoulders, and allowed herself to be lowered to solid ground by sliding into his arms. She stood for a moment looking into blue eyes that went wide, startled and at a loss for what to do next. She lowered her own eyes, blushing just a touch. "Thank you, sir."

For a moment, that same endearing look of innocence that she had seen the night before when he stood at the door of the parlor, flowers in hand, flickered across his features. Then the Colonel returned, charming and polished.

"Ma'am, it is entirely my pleasure. Your company is a sanctuary such as I have not known before."

"You flatter me with your kind words." Looping her arm through Charlie's, she set them off at a slow pace.

Charlie gathered up the reins and led the horses with his free hand. In a very gentle voice, Charlie answered, "No madam, I do not flatter you. To me, this place, and your company is a little touch of Eden to a lonely soul."

"Then I am very glad you came. And I am even happier that you are staying for the winter. I have been alone for too long. Colonel, could I……I mean would you……you be available for dinner tonight."

"Ma'am, I would be honored to join you for dinner. I can think of no place I would rather be."

"That is wonderful, Colonel. Neither can I."

"Shall we ride again, ma'am? The afternoon is slipping away."

Rebecca nodded her agreement. If she was to host Charlie to dinner, she had to get back and figure out something worth eating. Charlie clinched his jaw a bit and stepped up to lift her into the saddle again. The warmth of her slender waist between his hands, the pressure of her hands on his shoulder sent ripples of wanting through his frame.
D
ear God, how this woman touches me, and yet I think she does not know...

The ride back to the manor was uneventful. They followed the winding course of the Run. Past the kitchen garden, with herbs and vegetables that were the mainstay of Rebecca’s diet in these hard time, past the small farrier’s cot and the overseer’s cottage. Finally, the run spilled out into the pond at the base of the long rolling lawn and gardens that graced the rear of the main house. They walked around the pond, admiring the mountains in the distance and the lovely colors of fall that were just beginning to paint the trees in brilliant oranges, reds and yellows. As they approached the house, Rebecca reminded Charlie that his services would be needed as a ladies maid once more.