1
BECOMING
I
f I see one more Beta Gamma Pi girl looking down at me because I am not sporting any of them pitiful letters, I might just kick her tail. Yes, I am here at their convention but I am not Greek. I'm not here like other wannabes, I'm here because I have to be.
My mom is their National President and that makes me sick. I hate that my time with my mom has taken a backseat to the sorority. For real, when it came to my mom doing sorority business over being a mom, I came last every time. Yeah, she said it was for the good of the community and one day I'd understand her sacrifice, but when she didn't make any of my piano recitals or parent-teacher conferences, I quickly learned to detest the group she dearly loved.
Though we lived in the same houseâmy dad and younger brother moved out after the divorceâmy mom and I were worlds apart. Basically, I felt Beta Gamma Pi took everything away from me. I was only at the National Convention because some of the ladies on the executive board were more like mothers to me than my own mom. The First Vice President, who lived in California, begged me to come and support their endeavors. Because she was always there when I needed someone to talk to, I came. And not to mention the V.I.P. rooms were stocked with alcoholâand with no one around to supervise, I was feeling really nice.
“You're all smiles. I guess you just finished kissing the National President's butt, huh?” I said to a girl coming out of my mom's presidential suite.
“I'm sorry, do I know you?” the girl said, trying to figure out who I was.
“You're so full of it,” I said, calling her out as I fumbled with my key, trying to open my hotel room door. “You know who I am, trying to get on my good side to raise your stock with her.”
The girl persisted. “I'm sorry, I'm not trying to offend you, but you really do look familiar. Do you need some help with that?”
I snatched my hand away. “I don't need your help.”
“What's going on out here?” The door flung open and my mom came out in the hallway.
“Uh, I was trying to get in the room,” I said as I stumbled back a little.
“Girl, you are so embarrassing me, get your drunk behind in here now,” my mom hissed. Then in a much nicer tone she said, “Hayden, come in please.”
“Wasn't she just leaving?”
I was so confused when my mom went over to the girl and just started explaining my behavior, like she needed to apologize to some college girl about how I was acting. My mom really needed to apologize to me for never giving me any of her time. “Come here, I want to introduce you guys. Malloy, this is one of my sorors from your school, Western Smith College,” my mom said.
“See, I thought I knew you,” the girl smiled. “I'm Hayden Grant. I'm going to be a junior at Western Smith College. I didn't know this was your mom.”
“Yeah, sure you didn't know this was my mom,” I said in a sarcastic tone.
“Lord, you don't have to be rude,” my mom snapped.
“Then don't force me to talk to someone that I don't want to and don't try to apologize for me. I have a right to be angry, okay Mom? I don't want to embarrass you anymore, so please get this girl out of my face. I don't care what school she goes to. Unlike both of you, I don't think Beta Gamma Pi is God's gift to the world.”
“Hayden, I am so sorry about this. Let's just keep this between us. My daughter doesn't usually drink. She'll be back to normal when you guys get back to school. Let's just say, I do look forward to working more closely with your chapter, particularly when she makes line.”
“Yes ma'am,” Hayden said, really getting on my nerves.
She could not get out of the suite fast enough for me. Of course, my mom looked at me like she was disappointed. Shucks,
I
was the one that was rightfully upset. The alcohol just allowed me to finally say how I felt.
“Mom, don't go making no promises to that girl about me being on line. I'm in school to get an education, not pledge. Plus, their last line was crazy. They haze up there. You want me to have something to do with that? You're the National President, you're supposed to be against any form of hazing. I'm telling you it was all around school that they put a girl from the last line in the hospital. One of them will be dead soon.”
She looked at me and rolled her eyes. I believed what I was saying. Some of those girls would do anything to wear the Greek letters. Not me.
“Sweetheart, if you're a part of the line they won't do anything like that. I know you're tough. I don't have to worry about anybody trying to do something you don't want. Just promise me that you will at least consider pledging. I've always wanted this for you, Malloy. Being a part of this sisterhood can be so fulfilling. You don't even have a best friend, for crying out loud.”
“Yeah, for crying out loud, one of your biggest dreams for me is to be in a sorority, not to fall in love with a man and stay married forever, graduate from college with honors and get a great job. Instead, you pray your child gets into your sorority. I might have had a couple of drinks, but it's clear to me that the thing you want for me isn't what's best for me, it's what you want.” I plopped down on the couch, picked up the remote, turned on the television and put the volume on high. “Don't hold your breath on me becoming a Beta. Sweet dreams, Mommy.”
She went into her part of the suite and slammed the door. I knew I had disappointed her. However, as much as she had disappointed me in my life, we weren't anywhere close to being even.