Worlds of Obsession (Celtic Otherworlds) (26 page)

             
Bastien’s brow furrowed in thought.  “I don’t know, but if you were an orphan… or maybe someone wanted you hidden… politics?  We’ll figure it out baby, I promise you.”

             
Liv was quiet for a moment.  “And what happens after that?  I mean, with us… I live in Boston.  Before much longer I’ll need to go home, find a new job.”  She looked up at him.  “I don’t even know what you want… between us.”

             
Bastien rolled over so that he was on his elbows stretched out over her body, pinning her to the soft rug.  “If you think for one moment I’m letting you go back to Boston… No, Liv.  You stay here.  With me.  End of story.”

             
She noticed, of course, that he had avoided the whole relationship question.  “But I need to work, Bastien.  I don’t have much money saved up…”

             
“You don’t need money.  I have money.”

             
“I’m sure you do, but I need to be able to take care of myself.”

             
He cupped her chin in one big hand, looking at her earnestly.  “I’ll take care of you, Liv.”

             
She shook her head a little.  “You say that now, but if we don’t end up together, then I’ll be alone and without a job.  I can’t do that.  I’m all on my own, and apparently I don’t even have a grandmother anymore.”  Not that Gran… er, Bride had been in any way reliable, but at least she’d given the illusion of having family, and not being completely alone in the world.  But now, well as much as she’d love to just fall into Bastien’s arms and never leave, and as much as that felt oddly right, she knew he wasn’t in this one hundred percent.  Not yet, and maybe he never would be.  She couldn’t give up the life she had built to rely on anything less than that. 

             
“I want you with me, and I want to take care of you, I don’t give a fuck about anything else.”

             
Liv looked up into his eyes, her own swimming with emotion.  “I need to be able to take care of myself, Bastien.  In case one day you decide you can’t.”

Chapter 26

              They had made an uneasy peace, agreeing to just be together for the rest of the week, getting to know each other, before any other decisions were made.

             
The message arrived as they were having evening coffee on the terrace, and Liv was thinking about how she could get used to living like this.  Not just the luxurious accommodations, that was certainly a bonus, but Bastien.  He had been by her side every moment since he’d brought her to his home.  He was attentive to her every need, made love to her practically every time he looked at her, and she was beginning to think that ever walking away from him would be impossible.  Not that she ever could, not completely.  He already had a piece of her heart, and she doubted very much that she’d be getting it back.

He sighed as he opened the envelope, his expression telling her that he already knew what the letter inside said, but he skimmed it anyway before he dropped it unceremoniously on the table and looked at her.  His eyes held a mixture of wariness and acceptance. 
“I have to go to Skye, Liv, for two weeks.”

             
“Two weeks?  Why?  Can I come with you?”

             
He sighed again, scrubbing a hand over his face.  “No.  I wish you could.  Actually, I wish I didn’t have to go at all, but all males who are warriors or hunters have to report to Skye every six months or so, to continue training with Scatha.  She requires it.  I have no choice but to go, but I want you to wait here and be safe until I return.”

             
Liv got up and straddled his lap and kissed the strong line of his jaw.  “Two weeks is far too long to be without you.  I feel like we’re only just getting to know each other.”

              Bastien felt his heart speed up, and he groaned softly as she moved her mouth to nibble at his ear.  He couldn’t help it.  Just her looking at him turned him on.  “I have to go.  There is always a lot to catch up on, information and tactics that help the Guild to keep the Dark Sidhe in check.  Besides, Scatha’s punishments for skipping out on training can be pretty… extreme.”

             
She drew her tongue lightly over his lips, making him gasp for air as his cock strained against his zipper, wanting out.  “I wish you didn’t have to fight anymore, Bastien.  The thought scares me.  I’d be afraid for you the whole time you were out there, facing god knows what.”

             
He gave her a cocky smile.  “I always win, baby.  That’s a given.  Besides, I have to fight.  It’s been my whole life, since…”  He stopped short as she suddenly went stiff in his arms.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… you are so important to me, Liv.  I want to put the past behind me.  I want to make you my future.  Say you’ll wait for me, please.”

             
“Ok, but not here.  I still don’t know this place, and I definitely don’t want to be alone here for two whole weeks.  Maybe I can go back to the hotel or stay with Jess.”

             
Bastien frowned.  “If you won’t stay here, then you’ll stay at headquarters where I know you’ll be safe.  I don’t want to be worrying about you the whole time Liv, it’ll drive me insane.”

             
She smiled.  “Okay, I’ll stay at headquarters, but when you get back, we need to talk about where things are going.”

             
“Okay.  And Liv, do you understand that I
have
to go?  I don’t want to… I want nothing more than to stay here with you, because every instinct is telling me to never let you go.  I don’t want to be alone again, you are like a miracle to me.  Please don’t be angry when I tell you that there is
nothing
that will make me let you go.  Not your job, or your life before I found you… nothing.”

***

              How could she be angry?  Bastien had suffered for centuries, and for all that time, he had been loyal and faithful to one woman.  No, she couldn’t be angry with him, but she was sure as hell jealous.  She wasn’t sure when exactly it had happened, but she had fallen for Bastien.  Fallen
hard
.  And the fact that he would probably never be able to give her his whole heart, no matter how much he was willing to try… well it just ate her up inside.  Even now, she could feel the part of himself that he was holding back from her like a yawning void between them, and she knew that part still belonged to someone else, and likely always would.  Could she do this?  Could she take whatever he offered her and be satisfied?  If the alternative was not having him in her life at all… She would need some time to think things through, but just maybe she could find a job here in Scotland…

             
Bastien took her chin and tipped her face up to the night sky.  “Do you see the moon?” he asked.

Of course she did, it was hanging bright and round, just above the distance line of trees.  Strange how everything here was different, yet the same in so many ways.

Bastien continued, his voice thoughtful.  “For so many nights I stood alone and watched it make its way across the night sky, a never-ending cycle of phases, a constant reminder of my never-ending loneliness.  It kept me company, in a way.  But now, with you by my side, it looks different than any one of the thousand nights before, and for the first time, seeing the moon makes me think of the future, and many more moons to come.  Now I can imagine all of the nights ahead of me when I will barely notice the night sky at all, because I’ll have you in my arms and I won’t want to look away from the world of happiness I see in your eyes.” 

“I used to stand in front of my bedroom window at night”, Liv said softly, “but when I looked up at the moon I thought of the life ahead of me, and wondered what it held in store.  I hoped for adventure, and romance, but I never in a million years imagined this…”

“Are you… disappointed with how things have turned out do far?”  Bastien couldn’t quite hide the unease in his voice.

Liv smiled at him and slowly trailed a finger down the side of his face.  “So far it’s better than anything I could have imagined.”

He tilted her face to his and kissed her deeply.  “You will wait for me”, he told her, and then stood with her in his arms.  “Now, let me make love to you so that you don’t forget who you belong to while I’m gone.”

Chapter 27

              The drive out to Skye was brutal.  Not because of the weather, and certainly not because of the traffic on the all-but-abandoned highland roads, if you didn’t count occasionally having to stop for sheep.  It was brutal because driving away from Liv felt rather like he was trying to pull himself out of orbit.  Could he have become addicted to her in such a short time?  It certainly felt like it.  And why wouldn’t he be?  She had to be akin to the most powerful drug on the planet, to have made him feel again after centuries of numbness, and to have the withdrawal pains be so swift and strong.  He had never thought his shattered heart would beat again… but it did… for her.  Truthfully, he
needed
her.  She was the only light in his life and he didn’t want to go back to living in the darkness again.  He had even begun to let himself imagine a life with her… a future.  They couldn’t ever have children of course, but that was okay, since he had given up on that dream long ago anyway.  He only wanted
her
. And if she really wanted a family, well they could adopt a human baby, couldn’t they?  He didn’t see why not.

             
He had been trying so hard to keep himself at a distance, afraid that everything would disappear if he tried to hold onto it to tightly, but maybe it was time to take that leap of faith… Maybe when he returned from Skye he would officially ask her to…stay with him, move in together.  Whatever couples did now days.  He could let her choose a new house that would be just theirs, if that’s what she wanted, and every morning he would wake up beside her and pull her into his arms and kiss her soft, fragrant skin.  Such joy filled him at that simple thought that Bastien felt much of the fear and desperation he had been fighting since Liv had come into his life melt away. He realized then that he was no longer afraid of being with her, he was terrified of
not
being with her.  With his heart lighter than he could ever remember it being, he wanted nothing more than to turn around and go straight back to Liv and tell her what he had decided.  He would keep her, and they would be together. 

But Scatha was waiting and he couldn’t be late.  Never before did two w
eeks seem like such an eternity, because even though he would never forget Karis, a female that could take away his pain and give him happiness was waiting for him even now.

Bastien walked up the steps to Scatha’s palace, trying hard not to drag his feet.  He had made it just in time, and he was going have to check in with the warrior-goddess right away.  The huge oaken doors opened as he approached, and
he saw her there at the far end of the hall, seated in her throne-like chair, surrounded by several fawning men as she flipped through a pile of papers.  Bastien knew Scatha never encouraged her suitors.  They just couldn’t help themselves.  Scatha was beautiful and powerful, and Bastien was grateful that he’d never been affected by her the way some males were, even before he was mated.  The poor bastards didn’t stand a chance with her.  She probably ate them for breakfast.

He crossed the white marble floor of the hall, and Scatha looked up as he approached.  “Bastien, good of you to join us”, she said wryly as she found his name on the list she held and crossed it off.  “There were rumors that you had found your lost mate, and would rather suffer my wrath than be parted from her.”

Bastien’s lips thinned into a tight line and he slowly shook his head. 
If only that were the case
.  “No, if you’ll remember, Karis died some time ago.”

Scatha regarded him for a
long moment before one eyebrow lifted.  “No…” she said carefully.  “I escorted her to Anwnn, but not to the realm of the dead.  Balor ordered her brought to his domain, so I did as he bade me.  I had no reason not to, at the time.”  It was Scatha’s other duty to bring departed souls to Anwnn.

             
For a long, still moment, Bastien couldn’t breathe.  What was Scatha saying?  Karis wasn’t dead?  Was
never
dead? His vision swam as his world seemed to dissolve all around him.  If it was true… if she was telling the truth… His voice was tight and shaky when he had finally gathered enough wits to speak.  “What do you mean?  What would Balor want with her?”

             
Scatha only shrugged.  “He took a fancy to her, I guess.  He obsesses about some female or other every few centuries.  Steals their soul and chases them around trying to convince them to be his bride or some such nonsense.  Last time it was a Selkie princess.”  She rolled her eyes dramatically.

“
And since the Selkies are not exactly known as a peaceful or tolerant race, you can imagine the uproar over that little abduction.”               

No, Bastien really couldn’t.  Especially since his mind was suddenly reeling with the possibility that
Karis was still alive, or at least her shade was, which meant she technically wasn’t dead at all.  When the shock dissipated a little and his brain finally came back on line, he mumbled an apology to Scatha before he simply turned and ran.  If Karis was really with Balor, hell if he wasn’t going to find her. 

             
“Hey!” Scatha called.  “You can’t just leave, you haven’t completed your training!” 
Damn fool hot-headed Demons
, she murmured under her breath. 
Almost as bad as the Berserkers
.  Although, yeah, if that creep Balor had something of
hers
, she probably drop everything to go kick some ass, too.  It was understandable, maybe even forgivable.

             
“I’ll be back, and I’ll give you an extra week, I swear”, Bastien shouted over his shoulder.  He was already halfway to the old barn where he’d stashed his motorcycle.  When he flung open the barn door and straddled the bike, his hands were shaking so badly he could hardly turn the ignition. 
Karis… still alive.  Could it be true?
  He gunned the engine and headed east toward Loch Awe, the closest portal to Balor’s realm in Anwnn.  To have his mate back… to be whole again… it was almost too much to hope for.  And yet, the more Bastien thought about it, the more he realized he couldn’t just march into Anwnn and demand Karis back from the Demon King.  No way was that going to work out in his favor.  Balor took what he wanted, when he wanted.  He always had.  Anyone who stood in his way either felt the wrath of his Fomorian army, or his evil eye, whatever the king was in the mood for.  Contrary to the myths which had arisen throughout the human world over the years, Balor did not have a single large eye that automatically killed any creature he looked at.  In his Demon form, his eyes glowed a subtle red, just like any Fomorian.  It was when they turned that purple color with blue sparks that you had better get the fuck out of the way.  Then Balor’s looks really
could
kill.  No, he had to have a plan, and a good one.  Ending up dead wasn’t going to do Karis any good. 

As he sorted through the
limited options in his mind, the image of Liv’s sweet face kept haunting him. 
Liv
. She had really gotten under his skin.  Deeply.  But if his mate was truly alive, then… he couldn’t be with Liv.  Ever again.  His chest tightened and he almost choked on the next breath that he tried to pull into his lungs.  Guilt hammered into him from both sides… guilt for hurting Liv… guilt for failing to remain faithful to his mate.  For possibly leaving her alone and scared and at Balor’s mercy.  If only he had known… shouldn’t he have known somehow?  He had failed her, his own mate, and he had been paying the price for that failure for all this time.  Now, even if he found Karis, he would be failing someone else, too.

Speeding along the treacherous mountain road, Bastien threw back his head and roared his anguish over a situation that was truly impossible.  He was bound to his mate forever, as long as they both lived.  But… he loved
Liv.  He loved her and he hadn’t realized it until now.  When he closed his eyes… damned if it wasn’t her face he saw. 

             
Bastien pulled off the road near the shore of Loch Awe, stashing his bike behind a thick clump of gorse.  He turned to stare at the choppy water, knowing that his life might very well be about to change forever… again.  Every instinct inside of him was screaming at him to reach his mate, to protect her, to keep her by his side.  And his fool heart cried out for another.  He felt like he was being fucking torn in half.  He began to pace a short distance of the rocky shoreline, then suddenly he dove into the dark waters, disappearing into the depths.

             
He resurfaced in Anwnn, pulling himself up onto a slab of stone at the shore of a mirror image of Loch Awe.  The water portals always looked the same from both sides.  Nothing else did, especially here. 

             
He turned to the north, where the entrance to Balor’s realm was a mawing dark hole in the side of a hill that glimmered as if lit from within.  He eyed it with uneasiness, knowing that once he stepped through that doorway, months could pass elsewhere for every minute he stayed inside.  He would have to do this as quickly as possible.