Worth a Thousand Words (18 page)

Yasmin nodded. “I am, aren’t I? Dr. Danvers is helping.”

“Good,” Indigo said. “Because once we get this dress squared away, it will be time to look for yours and Shelby’s. I’m going to have two maids of honor, you know, so by December 15 you’ve got to be fabulous and healthy.”

Yasmin smiled.

“I’ll be ready.”

34

I
f Shelby knew, Brian was as good as dead.

  She could tell Navy officials, and Indigo, what she had seen and end his future in one fell swoop.

Brian fretted all the way to the base. As Craig rounded the curve and prepared to drive up to the security gate to enter Naval Station Newport, he asked Craig to recount for him one more time why he was certain she had the goods.

“You think I’m making this up?” Craig asked in frustration. “Just take care of it, okay?”

“Tell me again. I want to have my facts straight when I talk to her,” Brian said.

“The second time you and I were together, she saw us embrace and she saw me kiss you,” Craig said slowly.

“But we were away from campus, at a park, and it was dusk,” Brian said. “How was she so sure it was us?”

“You’ll have to ask her why she was there; all I know is that she was,” Craig said. “She knew what we looked like, of course, and she recognized my car and license plate, because I dated her for about a month the semester before you and I hooked up.”

“You didn’t tell me that part!” Brian yelled. “Great. She might want to out you ’cause she’s feeling played.”

Craig kept his eyes on the road. “You know her better than I do. That’s why I’m asking you to handle it.”

But that was the problem. Brian thought he knew her well enough to think she’d never keep something like this from him for so long. She hadn’t said a word in three years.

Had she told Indigo? Was that the reason Indigo was so hesitant to get married?

He rid himself of that thought. He did know Indigo well enough to know that she would have questioned him by now.

They stopped at the security gate and were waved through. Craig dropped Brian off in front of one of the administration buildings, so he could walk to the barracks and not be seen fraternizing with a Candi-O—a candidate about to be commissioned.

Brian turned to him before walking away. “Look, man, let’s really just get past this. I wish you the best on your assignment when you leave here. I’m going to talk to Shelby, but if she’s the person I know her to be, she won’t use this against us.”

Brian read the skepticism in Craig’s eyes.

“I hope you’re right,” Craig said. “Like I told you earlier tonight, she’s a tough girl. I didn’t know that she knew about our connection until she said something in passing two weeks ago. If it comes down to getting ahead or watching you rise faster than she does, she could let the chips fall where they may.”

Brian shuddered at the thought. He strode to the barracks without telling Craig goodbye.

Too bad he didn’t have his cell phone. He would call Shelby now and ask her to meet him somewhere. They had liberty tonight and most of tomorrow, but it was back to the normal routine by six p.m. Sunday.

He wondered what she’d say and whether Craig was right to be so worried. He wondered what Shelby thought of him. But then, he really didn’t know what to think of himself these days. He just wanted to get his commission and conquer the next step toward his dream.

If his skeletons were going to come out of the closet, better now, when he could handle them privately, in his own way. He just hoped that Shelby was still his friend, and that she would agree.

35

B
rian knew where he’d find her on Sunday morning.

  He rose early as usual, slid into navy slacks and a white collared shirt, and arrived at the chapel on base just as the eight a.m. service was beginning. He scanned the tiny sanctuary and surmised that most of the officers and other OCS residents must have had late nights; there were plenty of seats.

Shelby sat in the middle of a center section pew. Brian slid in beside her and pretended not to notice when she did a double take.

The base had several chaplains from different denominations, and this morning, an Episcopal priest was leading the service. His teaching was from 1 Samuel 25, which described how Abigail begged David for mercy after her foolish husband, Nabal, insulted David.

“Consider the courage and humility this woman must have possessed to approach the king of Israel and beg for forgiveness for something she didn’t do,” the priest said. “Or, even better, consider the fact that she did so to save the lives of her people. What are we willing to sacrifice for the greater good? What are we willing to give up so that others can live more fully?

“In our society, the focus is on ‘me, me, me,’ ” he said. “But the Bible indicates that when we take care of others and consider their needs above our own, then God will take care of us.”

Brian wanted to look at Shelby, but was afraid.
Please, Father,
let her hear this message in the context of what I need to talk to
her about.

“Now I can guarantee that most of you sitting here listening to this sermon are thinking of someone you wish were here to hear it.” The priest chuckled. “Or maybe you’re glad the person
is
here to hear it.”

Brian felt sheepish.

“But I also guarantee that since you are here receiving this word, it was meant for you too. You may not understand why or in what context, but ask God to reveal to you what you need to be doing along the lines of Abigail’s sacrifice, and he will make it clear to you.”

Brian heard, but he didn’t hear. At least, he didn’t process that last part of the message. This wasn’t about him; it was about Shelby being a real friend.

After service, they rose from their seats and hugged.

“Fancy running into you here, Candidate Officer Harper,” Shelby said and punched his arm. They hadn’t talked since the night she’d seen him fretting over his OCS manual in the rec room.

Brian wondered if she had an idea about why he was here today. “Want to join me for lunch, Candidate Officer ‘homegirl’ Arrington?” he joked.

She nodded and linked her arm through his as they left the sanctuary. “Sure, where to?”

They chose a spot off base that served breakfast all day.

As Shelby dug into her omelet, he watched her. She was a beautiful girl, even with her Navy buzz cut. Her cocoa skin, dazzling white smile, small build, and outgoing nature had made her a perfect Tuskegee cheerleader. It was no surprise that she had been elected the campus queen their senior year, or that she’d broken a string of Tuskegee hearts before she graduated.

Brian found it funny that when she finally seemed ready to get serious, it was with someone of another race.

“Tell me about this Hunt Pappas,” he said. “Where did you meet him? Does Indigo know about him?”

She took a bite of food and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve mentioned him, but I haven’t made a big deal out of it, so she probably didn’t think it was worth discussing with you.”

Brian raised an eyebrow. “It’s a pretty big deal when he comes to see you during visitors’ weekend and meets your parents, isn’t it?”

Shelby smiled. “You’re right. I met him last summer when I was interning at Kennedy Space Center down in Florida. He’s an engineer too, and had just landed a job with Lockheed Martin. We went out a few times over the summer and clicked. He kept in touch and we started seeing each other again, albeit long distance, about six months before I graduated.”

“Seems like it would be hard enough to maintain an interracial relationship when you’re in the same city, let alone long distance,” Brian said. “How’s that working?”

Shelby glared at him. “You don’t have to be so pessimistic. He’s special, but he’s just a friend, anyway. We’ll see where things go.”

Brian leveled his gaze at her. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

Shelby sighed. “I just know a relationship like this isn’t easy. I care for him deeply. I spent the summer getting to know him and I love so many things about him. He’s funny, he has a deep faith in God, and he has a good heart. But I just don’t know. I want to take it really slow. Plus, I’m about to ship off to flight school and he’ll be working in New York on a federal contract.”

Brian smiled. “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you talk about a guy. You love him.”

Shelby dropped her head and blushed. When she looked up again, she shifted the focus to him. “What’s up with you? Why did you track me down this morning?”

Where should he begin? He took a deep breath.

“I know you’ve been talking to Craig, and I need to know what the deal is.”

Shelby sat up straight and put her fork down. Her expression grew somber, but she didn’t respond.

“What do you think you saw?” Brian asked.

Shelby shook her head. “I don’t think anything, Brian,” she said softly. “I had been biking along one of the trails at the park and had just parted ways with Danica, one of the other cheerleaders, so I could go to my car. I was parked a few feet from where Craig’s car was, and I saw you two sitting inside embracing. I saw him kiss you full on the mouth. And you didn’t pull away. I wasn’t hallucinating.”

The memory of it all came rushing back to Brian as she described the incident, and he felt his face growing warm.

“I . . . it was all . . . you don’t understand,” he said.

“What is there to understand beyond what I saw? You and a guy I used to date were locking lips in what you thought was a private spot,” Shelby said. “It was an intimate moment. And the next day you went on your usual date with my best friend, like nothing happened.”

Brian’s heart stopped. “You didn’t tell her?”

Shelby sat back and folded her arms. She looked angry.

“Believe me, I came close many times,” she said. “I still struggle with the fact that I haven’t told her, especially now that you are engaged. But I prayed about it—in fact, I continue to pray about it.

“Every time I take it before the Lord, he tells me to let it go,” Shelby said “He tells me that you are the one who has to own your truth and live it out in a way that doesn’t destroy others.

“If I were to tell her, there’s no guarantee that she would believe me. If you didn’t confess, she might just cut me off and continue on with you anyway. At least this way I’m here for her, no matter what happens.”

She waited for Brian to say something, and when he didn’t, she continued.

“Why are you asking me about this now? After all this time?”

“You’ve been talking to Craig,” Brian said. “He’s worried that you’ll spread rumors. I told him you’re not like that, but I still wanted to talk with you about all of this. And I want to reassure you that whatever happened back then, it was a stupid mistake.”

Shelby didn’t look convinced.

“I got drunk at one of the fraternity parties and Craig offered me a ride home and . . . some things happened that I hadn’t expected.”

Shelby held up her hands and turned her head. “Please don’t give me details, Brian. I’m already disgusted.”

“I want you to know that I’m not . . .
gay
,” he said in a hushed voice. “You know I don’t drink. That night I got a little crazy and one thing led to another.”

“What about when I saw you in the park?”

Brian lowered his eyes. How could he explain that away? He got caught up in the moment? His body betrayed him? She was right when she said he hadn’t ignored Craig’s advances.

“I don’t know, Shelby,” he said. “But it never happened again. I promise before God. Right after that, I started going to church with you and Indigo, remember? I asked God to forgive me and to take away whatever was in me that had tempted me to go in that direction. I got baptized that year, remember?”

“So you haven’t dated any other guys since then?” she asked.

“Not a one, Shelby. Nobody but Indigo. I love her.”

Shelby leaned forward and searched his eyes. “But this is the reason you’ve been hounding her to get married, isn’t it? You’re trying to convince yourself that you’re not only a Navy man, you’re all man. And you need her help to prove it.”

Brian felt like a child caught red-handed with a pocketful of forbidden candy. Craig was right—Shelby might be dangerous.

36

I
ndigo settled at the Hair Pizzazz reception desk with a cup of coffee and rifled through her bag.

It was filled with unopened mail from several days ago that she needed to review. With Aunt Melba coming into the salon one day a week to man the reception desk, she had a little more time on her hands.

Her aunt wasn’t styling hair yet; but she was thrilled to be back in her business, which was like her second home, and Melba’s clients who were temporarily visiting Eboni or Carlotta were overjoyed to see her.

Aunt Melba was here this morning, reading her bank statements and answering the phone.

Indigo pulled out a small stack of letters and began sorting through the information from her graduate school, credit card offers, and other junk mail. She got to one envelope though, and paused.

It felt pretty thin, so she wasn’t expecting much. But when she opened it and read the first sentence, she jumped up from her seat next to Aunt Melba and started dancing.

Indigo waved the letter in the air. “It’s a letter from
O Magazine
, Aunt Melba! The three photos I submitted are going to be featured in the magazine’s December issue.”

She wanted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. Better yet, she should stop dancing and peruse the letter again, just in case she had read it wrong. She held it in front of her and read aloud to Aunt Melba.

“ ‘Dear Ms. Burns, It is with great pleasure that I write to inform you that you are one of ten photographers from around the nation selected as a winner of the
O Magazine
Everyday Life Photo contest. Congratulations—you’re coming to New York!’ ”

By the time Indigo made it to the end, Aunt Melba was clapping.

“Isn’t . . . that . . . something! Praise . . . God!”

She stood and held out her arms to give Indigo a hug.