Worth It (30 page)

“Oh, oh God, Anna.”

I feel his head swell and heat in anticipation of his release, but he sits up quickly, pulling me away from him.

“I’m not ready to come yet. I need to be inside you when that happens.”

My sex clenches, and heat flares though me.

“But first, I need to taste you.”

God, is there such a thing as a word orgasm?

He lays me down and kisses my lips softly before gently, reverently kissing, licking, and nipping down my body until he finally settles between my legs. I close my eyes as I feel his mouth leisurely taste my sensitive, swollen flesh. His lips and tongue take a similar path as his fingers did earlier. He’s slow and gentle. I’m smoldering and gasping, and
fuck, this feels so good.
His pace begins to quicken as he adds a finger to plunge inside me, and then he adds another.
Oh shit, I’m gonna come again.
I tense as the frenzied ecstasy climbs higher and higher until it hits me, and I call out his name as I let go.

I let out a whimper as he withdraws. He grabs my hands to lift me up. He lies down, and then I’m straddling him. I’ve never been on top before, and I feel a little uneasy.

He grabs a condom from his jeans and slips it on before he positions himself and looks at me. “Ride me, baby.”

I bite my lip nervously. “I’ve never done that.”

A look of irritation flashes through his eyes so fast that I’m not sure if it was actually there.

He says, “Well, I’m glad that you get to do it with me. Slide down, and I’ll help you.”

I slowly slide down him, and my mouth pops open in a silent,
Oh
, as I feel him deliciously fill me up. It’s deeper this way, and I love it.

“Take my hands, baby.”

I do as he says.

“Now, move up and down, however you want.”

I move up and feel that wonderful friction of him moving inside me, and then I lower myself down.

Shit, this feels so good and empowering.

I do the slow movement again, and I look at his face to see he’s enjoying this as much as I am. I repeat the movement again and again and again as I begin to pick up the pace.

“That’s right, Anna. Fuck, that feels good.”

He lets go of my hands to place his on my hips, and I put my palms on his muscular chest to brace myself.

Oh, this new angle feels
fantastic
.

I pick up the pace more. His hands are steadying me but letting me set the rhythm. My insides start to build, and my muscles tighten.

“Keep going, baby. I’m close, too, Anna. That’s it,” he chants hoarsely.

“Oh God, Jed. You feel so good.”

I’m losing any inhibitions I had left as the feeling building within me starts to take over. I drop down on him faster and harder until I reach that pinnacle. Slamming down hard, I fall over the cliff and explode into oblivion. I vaguely hear him follow me, moaning my name.

We lay there for a while. I’m splayed across his chest while he strokes my hair softly as we’re catching our breaths and slowing our racing hearts. I’ve never felt so good after sex. I feel so sated, so content, so…safe. He gave that to me. I know from his “tonight is about you” statement that the gift was deliberate, but he can’t fathom the depth of it. Sex with anyone else has always been a desperate way to gain affection and gain the feeling of being loved. But this—this was freeing. I feel sexy and more confident. I feel special.

“Hey,” he utters softly.

I look up at his handsome face etched with contentment and happiness. He lifts up slightly to kiss me softly before grasping my face in his hands.

“I want to say something,” he starts gently.

My face falls slightly, but his face is insisting that I trust him.

I swallow nervously. “Okay,” I reply, worried.

He opens his mouth before closing it, and then he admits, “I should go take care of the condom first.”

Uh-oh.
My mind races with a million things that he could want to talk about. None of them are good, but I just nod slowly.

He sits up, so I’m straddling his lap with him still inside me.

He kisses my nose. “Don’t look so worried. It’s nothing bad. I’ll be right back, okay?”

That eases my nerves a little, so I nod again and slide off his lap. When he stands and strides to the bathroom, I quickly slide on my panties and shirt. I don’t want to have a serious conversation while I’m naked. He returns sans condom and nabs his boxer briefs. He slips them on while making his way over to where I’ve situated myself on the couch with my legs tucked under me. He sits next to me and reaches over to grab my hips. He hoists me onto his lap, so I’m straddling him. I go willingly, but inside, my heart is pounding. I’m scared about what he wants to say.

He reaches up and pulls my lower lip out of my teeth, and then he leans in to kiss me tenderly. He takes a deep breath. “You know I’m not good with the whole emotions stuff and expressing myself, so I just want to lay something out there. You don’t have to respond, but I do want you to let me get it all out before you say anything.” When I nod, he continues, “I know you’re struggling with something, Anna.”

I start to slide off his lap, wary of where he’s going with this, but he stops me.

“Let me finish.”

I nod cautiously.

“I know you’re struggling with something, Anna, and I need you to know that I’m here for you. I want you to trust me, and I want to help heal your pain.”

He grabs my face while I fight to swallow the lump in my throat.

“I care about you, Anna, a lot. I think I’m starting to fall for you. I want you to trust me because my trust for you is growing. I want to build this relationship together, so I need you to trust me to be there for you and to help you through whatever it is you’re going through.”

I feel tears spring to my eyes while I absorb his words. I clench my teeth, willing the tears away.

He continues, “I don’t want to push you, baby, but I do want you to talk to me when you’re ready. I’ll be here to listen and help you, okay?”

A tear escapes from my eye, and he brushes it away with his thumb. His eyes search mine. They bore into me, imploring me to believe him, to trust him.
Can I do that? Can I tell him? Can I bare my soul and let everything spill onto the floor and trust him to help me clean it up? No, not yet. But I think maybe, just possibly, I might be able to eventually.
My gut squeezes at the possibility and the realization that someday I might trust this man enough to do what he’s asking. My heart compresses and swells simultaneously because he cares enough that I’m hurting. He thinks that I’m worth it.

Another tear escapes, and he quickly brushes it away.

I give a slight nod and I say, “I’ll try. Maybe someday, I’ll tell you.”

He pulls me into a hug, burying his face into my neck, and I clutch him tightly.

“For the record, I think I’m falling for you, too,” I whisper.
It’s true. I am.

I’ve somehow convinced Anna to join me today for Mom’s Sunday Sauce.

After calming her nerves and convincing her to trust me that my family will love her, we’re on our way to my parent’s house. I want her to meet my family because I want this relationship to move forward, and it seems like the logical next step. My parents also want to meet the woman who’s captured my attention so completely. Those were Mom’s words, not mine, but they’re true nonetheless.

I watch my woman as my family introduces themselves to her. She seems nervous but happy that my family seems to embrace her. I fucking love the way our relationship is moving along, especially after last night. To me, we feel more solid after last night. She even opened up a little and told me about her biological father and how his absence still hurts. I have a few friends who don’t know their fathers, so even though I can’t empathize, I can sympathize. I told her that it’s all on him, that he’s not man enough, and that it says nothing about her. She said that it helped a little when I told her that
he
probably doesn’t feel good enough for
her
, but she said it was hard to wrap her head around that way of thinking. I understand although I wish she didn’t think that way.

After dinner, I’m sitting on the couch I glace over at Anna and my mom who are in a deep discussion over education and kids at the kitchen table. My mom ran a home daycare for twelve years, and she’s passionate on the subject as well. Anna is still pretty nervous and shy, but her freak-out rigidness is gone. I zero in on her as she tilts her head back in laughter from one of my mom’s stories. Her whole face lights up and shines. My heart squeezes, seeing her here like this with my family.

“You’ve got it bad,” Chris teases me, catching my attention.

I smile over at my sister and shrug. “Yeah, I think I do. What do you think of her?” I ask before shoveling more ziti in my mouth. I groan slightly at this taste of bliss. I love food.

Chris laughs. “You and food.” She shakes her head before answering quietly, “I like her a lot. She’s a sweetheart and good-natured. I’m glad you’ve found someone who fits in well with us, not like the bitch troll.”

I roll my eyes. “Shut up.”

“Seriously, I don’t know how you put up with her for so long.”

I shrug. “Me either,” I say. Then, I sigh as I look back over at Anna. “I’m glad you like her, and I knew you would. She was really nervous about coming over, but I kept telling her that it wasn’t a big deal. Our family’s tight, so it makes sense for her to get to know you guys sooner rather than later.”

“Yeah, I did the same with the hubby. He was nervous and said that it was weird to meet the family so early.”

I look back at my sister. “It’s not weird,” I say defensively.

“Well, no, not for us because we’re all so close, but most families aren’t as close as ours.”

I lift an eyebrow to give her a touché face.

“I’m going to go and talk with Anna and Mom,” she says.

“Okay, have fun.”

I smile as I watch my sister walk over to my girl. I catch Anna’s eyes and my smile gets bigger, and she grins back, letting me know she’s all good.

“Jesus Christ, lover boy. You’re all doe-eyed and shit,” Zach says, plopping next to me, drawing my attention away from Anna’s beautiful blues. “You were right though. That girl is out-of-this-world bangin’ hot.”

I throw my brother an irritated look. “Don’t talk about my woman like that.”

He bursts out laughing. “This is really funny to watch.”

“What?”

“You going macho caveman,” he says, still laughing.

Rolling my eyes, I ignore him.

He smirks. “I still don’t get it. Why so young?”

“I’m not that young.”

“You’re not that old either,” he counters.

I sigh, aggravated. “I’m not going to explain it again. It’s what I want. I care about Anna, and I think she may be it. Get off my back about it.”

“It?
It’s been a fucking month, dude.”

I turn to him and grimace.
Has it really only been a month?
“I said
may
, not
proposing tomorrow
. And I don’t know what you want me to say. It’s a gut feeling, all right? Worry about your own dick and lay off mine.”

“All right, all right, man. You’re my brother, so I just want to make sure you’re doing what’s right for you.”

“It’s right for me.”

I look over to see my dad has joined my mom, sister, and Anna. He leans down and plants a kiss on the top of my mom’s head, and I know that’s exactly what I want.

“I get it, bro,” Zach says, sighing. “Let’s go talk to your woman.”