Worth the Weight (40 page)

Oh God, not more crying!
It seemed like that’s all she’d done for the last two months. She would have sworn there wasn’t enough water left in her to shed, but the tears kept tumbling. It was so odd to feel bad instead of shoving the pain down with food. Odd, but good.

She knew she’d get through this night, just as she had all the others since she’d come back to Detroit. It actually got easier every day. It was just seeing
Finn
again that set her off.

She could hear Davis moving to her, felt his weight on the couch as he sat next to her, sensed his hesitation. No wonder, he’d never dealt with anything other than the fun Lizzie, the nice Lizzie, the always up Lizzie. He’d be appalled at this pile of sobbing woman. Lizzie found that the thought didn’t really bother her. S
he cried. S
o what.

Davis waited patiently until
she
got her crying under control, even found her some tissues. When she felt able to talk she turned to him, but he held his hand up for her to stop.

“Me first, Lizzie. I know you’ve been putting me off since you’ve been back, that I’ve been the one calling and you were the one with all the excuses. I guess I just figured that you really were too busy catching up to go out with me like you said, but obviously it was more than that.” She waited for him to go on, there really wasn’t much she could say, what he said was true. “I don’t know what you had with that guy this summer, but you’re not over him, are you?”

“No,” she whispered. “I’ll never be over him, Davis.”

“Who is he, anyway?” he asked.

He hadn’t asked her about
Finn
during their phone conversations since she’d been back, and for that she was grateful
.
She didn’t know how she would explain
Finn
to Davis. Or to anyone for that matter. How did she expla
in emotions that she herself were
only now coming to terms with?

“He’s the man I fell in love with eighteen years ago. The man I’m still in love with,” was all she said.

She watched as he absorbed the information, and like the classy guy he was, gave her a squeeze on the hand. “I understand, Lizzie, and its okay. Now, how about some of my famous Chicken Kiev?”

“Do you mind if I take a rain check Davis?” Then she spoke words that had not passed her lips before
.
“I’m not hungry anymore.”

It wasn’t rage or fury that
Finn
felt this time as he walked away from Liz. It was defeat.

So that was it. She’
d made her choice. He would just have to live with it. He had come to her place for more than a progress report on Annie and to offer the much-deserved apology. He had come to make amends and to hopefully make a clean start.

When the doctors informed him that his daughter was resting comfortably and that the operation had been a success, his first thought had been of Liz. He followed his instincts and, after being
told
he wouldn’t be
able to see Annie
for at least twelve to fourteen hours, he made his way to Novi to see
Liz
.

On the drive over, his mind raced with all he wanted to say, starting with I’m sorry and ending with will you marry me.

He’d only gotten the first part out before
her
new man had interrupted them.

The thought of anyone else’s hands on Liz’s body nearly made him drive off the road. Would he know how to touch her? Would he make her feel good about her body? Would he love her like
Finn
did? Was it possible for anyone else to love Liz Hampton the way he did? He didn’t think so.

Needing a distraction lest the vision of Liz straddling Davis Cummings drive him insane, he turned on the radio, hitting seek to find the first station he could and cranking up the volume. As a commercial ended, a lone guitar sang out and
Finn
realized it was a Springsteen song.

He turned the radio off and drove the rest of the way in silence.

Chapter Twenty-Two

√ Call Margo

√ Get new boots, jacket, mittens

Call Sybil

The blustery January wind whipped at
Finn
as he wheeled Annie up the ramp and into the farmhouse. Stevie had already shoveled and sanded so the push wasn’t as strenuous as it might have been. He made a mental note to thank Stevie for doing the shoveling while he and Annie had been at her physical therapy session.

It seemed like he was doing much more of that lately - thanking and praising Stevie - than he ever had before. He and his son had definitely turned a corner. No more breaking curfew or any other
bullshit
. He’d like to think it was all that quality time he’d spent with Stevie since the end of the summer, and that was surely part of it, but
Finn
knew that the threat of being grounded, and therefore not seeing Heather, was the real reason behind Stevie’s turnaround.

“How’d it go?”
Finn
’s grandmother asked as they entered the kitchen.

Finn
wheeled Annie to the large throw rug just inside the door where the snow from the wheels of her chair could melt. He began the task of ridding his daughter of her many layers of winter clothing. “Pretty good. Tell her, Annie.”

Annie’s eyes lit up, matching the pink glow of her cold cheeks. “Five minutes today, Gran.”

“Five minutes? Oh, honey that’s wonderful. That calls for some hot chocolate,” she said and turned to the refrigerator to get out the milk.

Annie’s progress was now being measured in the amount of minutes she could stand up with her full weight on her legs. She hadn’t taken any steps yet, the therapist wanted to wait until she got to ten minutes before they attempted that, but she was adding nearly a minute each session so it wouldn’t be long before they tried.

Five minutes felt like five hours when
Finn
had to watch his baby girl standing there, grimace on her face, gritting her teeth, determined not to grab on to the support bars at her side. A couple of times the therapist had asked him to leave the room during the exercise because he seemed to be in so much pain watching his daughter that Annie had gotten upset. He soon got a hold of himself and now passively sat watching Annie and her therapist while inside his heart pounded and his palms itched to jump to her aid. Sitting on his hands seemed to help.

“Stevie home?”
Finn
asked.

“Yes, he’s up in his room. Don’t forget you’ve got that man with the horse coming in an hour.”

How could he forget? He’d been totally taken by surprise when Margo had called him out of the blue last week and said she knew someone who had recently bought a horse and was looking for a place to board it. She asked if she could give them
Finn
’s name and number.
He’
d started to say no, that he wasn’t prepared to board a horse, but stopped himself. The barn was fit enough. He had plenty of hay. All he needed to do was clean out some of the
stalls and get some feed. He’
d told Margo to go ahead and give the guy his number.

A man called a few days later and discussed arrangements and fees with
Finn
. He was dropping the horse off this
evening
.

It wasn’t the same as having his own horses, but it was a start. He’d plowed the snow out of the corrals so he’d have a place to exercise the horse. He and Stevie had put snowshoes on last
Sunday and made a trail past the strawberry fields and a ways into the woods. The kids seemed as excited about the prospect of having a horse in their barn as
Finn
was.

With cautious optimism, he’d dusted off the business plan he’d written years ago for his horse boarding and training operation. Yeah, it was a start.

Finn
was in Stevie’s room
an hour later
, going over
his son’s
homework with him, when he heard a
vehicle pull into the driveway.
He quickly made his way downstairs to get his winter gear on.

The doorbell rang as he was sitting in a kitchen chair pulling his boots on. When he called for his visitor to come in, the door opened and a cold burst of air brushed through the room and right to
Finn
’s face, which was already frozen...with disbelief.

“Liz?” his voice cracked and he tried again. “Liz? What are you doing here?”

“I came to see a man about a horse,” she said with a small shrug. At
Finn
’s look of incomprehension, she continued, “I’m E.H. Beach.”

“You’re...you’re...?”

“Yes, I’m the person who’s horse you’re going to board.”

“But, I talked to a man?”
Finn
sputtered.

Lizzie nodded. “A co-worker, making a call on my behalf.”

“Why the code name?”

“Would you have agreed to board my horse if you’d known it was me?” she asked.

Realizing he wouldn’t have, and why he wouldn't have - mainly that he was pissed as hell at her - reminded
Finn
that he shouldn’t be so damn happy to see Elizabeth Hampton standing in his doorway. Scowling, he said, “E.H. Beach, eh? E.H., Elizabeth Hampton.”

She smiled. “I threw in Beach for old time’s sake.”

He snorted as he rose from the chair, his boots tied tight. He swung his jacket on and grabbed his gloves. “No, I don’t suppose I would have agreed to this if I’d known it was you.” He was standing in front of her, both of them at the doorway. Damn, if she wasn’t adorable in her little white parka with a fuzzy fleece collar, white Nanook boots with her jeans tucked in. Her knit mittens were striped with white and light blue and matched the hat she had on, pulled low over her ears.

“Okay then, let’s see this fine piece of horseflesh an experienced buyer like you picked out.” He opened the door for her, but she was looking past him, toward the living room.

“Are the kids here, can I say a quick hello?” She made to move around him, but he grabbed her elbow, spun her and started her out the door.

“No, you can’t. I don’t want you seeing the kids, Liz. This is business deal. Let’s get your horse
unloaded and into the barn,
then you can take off.”

What the hell was she up to?
Why was she even in town?

He didn’t believe for a second tha
t she’
d suddenly become interested in owning a horse. He was thinking that there might not even be a horse at all, that the whole thing was just a way to see him, but then he saw the horse trailer attached to her Navigator.
Why would she want to see him, anyway?
She was all set back in Detroit with her
douche bag
new boyfriend. One that cooked for her, no less. Hah, there was a kind of sweet irony that Liz would end up with a guy that loved to cook. Maybe she’d get fat again.

But
Finn
found that he couldn
’t wish for anything bad for her
. He wanted her to be happy, he really did. It just stabbed him like a knife that her idea of happiness did not include him and the kids.

So, why was she here? Could it really be as simple as buying a horse and needing some place to board it? Why him? Didn’t she realize how badly it would hurt him to have to deal with her on any kind of regular basis? That he ached without her? That since seeing that Davis character at her place, only the ongoing care of his children could keep him from pulling one of Gran’s quilts over his head and staying in bed until spring.

He ignored the hurt look on her face from his refusal to let her see the kids, and made his way to the back of the trailer. He unbolted the door, took out the ramp and led the horse out of the trailer. He felt the blood rush from his head as he got a clear look at the animal.

“Pegasus!” He turned to Liz. “How?”

“Eino said she was your favorite one,” she said, as if that alone was explanation enough for why one of his horses, indeed his most treasured horse, was back on Robbins property.

“She is, but how did you even know about Eino?” he asked. He ran his hands along the beautiful animal.
God, how he loved her.
It took
Finn
a second to clarify to himself which female he was currently with merited the sentiment. “Peg,” he said, as if declaring a winner.

“When I decided I wanted to buy a horse, I asked Margo if she knew anyone who wanted to sell. She gave me Eino’s number.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Asked her if she knew anyone who was selling? Or did you ask her who I sold my horses to?”

She shrugged. “I’m not really sure how I phrased the question.”

“What are you up to, Liz?”

“What? Can’t I buy a horse if I want to? Where else am I going to keep him?”