Worth Waiting For (12 page)

He hadn’t appreciated the living
la vida loca
comment, but in the scheme of things, it was no big deal. In his life he’d heard much worse. That’s not why he was so upset. It’s what the jerk’s appearance had done to Julia. The light was gone from her eyes. He’d robbed the night of happiness, and she had retreated back into her shell, scooting way over against the door, staring out the window.

He wished he knew what to do to make her eyes shine again.

****

When they arrived at her house, Julia opened the door as soon as the truck came to a standstill in her driveway.

“Julia, wait!”

She slammed the door. He moved fast, though. He’d already rounded the front of the vehicle and stood blocking her progress to the front door before she could take a step.

 
“What’s going on?”

 
“Nothing’s going on.”

She felt deflated, empty. The short ride to her house had made her realize she was fooling herself. She wasn’t completely over what had happened. While she no longer loved him, she realized she carried around too much baggage to bring into another relationship. She wasn’t ready yet to move forward.

 
“Don’t shut me out.” He towered over her in the semi-darkness. The motion sensor lights on the garage illuminated his back and partially cast his rugged face in shadow.

 
“I can’t do this right now.”

 
“Do what?”

 
“
This
.” She gestured with her hands, pointing between the two of them. “I don’t have the energy. I have too much going on in my life to get involved with someone right now.”

His mouth tightened. “You were on your way home with me before our stop at the gas station. What changed?”

 
“What changed is…I finally had time to think, once I wasn’t caught up in the music and—and everything that took place at the club.” She didn’t want to explain what was wrong, because she barely understood it herself. She only wanted to escape inside the refuge of her house.

“That’s not the reason and you know it. There’s something else going on.”

“There’s nothing else going on.” She moved to step around him, but he blocked her path.

 
“What are you afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything!” she said in exasperation.

“Is that right? Do you even believe what you’re saying? Have you even convinced yourself anything you just said is true?”

“This night is over. I should have never gone out with you in the first place.” She was in fighting mode, and he turned out to be the unlucky recipient of her cutting tongue.

“No, the real issue is that I should have never invited you. You wouldn’t know how to have a good time if the instructions were emailed to you on your computer!”

His unexpected words hurt. “I know how to have fun!”

“No, you don’t. You pretend to, so you can convince everyone else around you that you have feelings like a normal human being.”

Was he trying to upset her? “You are an unfeeling, inconsiderate–idiot!” she finished, for lack of a better word. “I’ve had a horrible time. I wish I didn’t have to see you again!” She moved to go around him for the second time. He grabbed her arm. “Take your hand off of me!”

“I’m not finished talking to you.”

“Well, I’m finished talking to
you
,” Julia huffed. She tried to pull away. “I said, take your hand off of me.”

“Or else what? What will you do, Julia?”

“I’ll—I’ll scream.”

“And actually show some emotion? I don’t believe you. I want to see it.”

“I mean it. Step back.”

“Do it. Scream. I want to see you scream.” He backed her up against the truck and leaned in close.

“Stop it! Can’t you see I’m scared?” The shaking started again. She couldn’t control it.

“Of what? Of me?”

“No. Of…of everything you represent. I can’t do it again. What if there really is such a thing as a soul mate? I don’t want to waste my time falling for you, caring about you, loving you, and then . . . poof! You’re gone. And I’m all alone again.” An unbearably heavy ache crushed her chest.

“People get hurt all the time, Julia,” Freddie said. “I’ve been hurt, too, but something inside me knows…I
feel
…like it’s different this time.”

She understood what he meant. She had the same feeling, but she was still terrified. What if she was wrong?

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he continued. “We’ll go as slow as you want. Okay?” He placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

“What if we’re wrong?” She stared at him, wide-eyed. “I loved him so much, and I was wrong. We were supposed to get married. I spent eight years of my life with him, trying to be the perfect partner and fiancée. I was supportive and loving. My life revolved around him. He cheated on me and got someone else pregnant. How could I have been so
wrong
, when I loved him and was so certain he loved me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with giving your all to a relationship,” Freddie said. “That’s the way it should be, and that’s what I love about you. It’s so obvious you’re a passionate person, waiting to get out of that bottle you’ve locked your true self inside.”

“Passion? What are you talking about, Freddie? You hardly know me.”

“I know enough to know you’re what I want. I like the way your eyes sparkle when you’re happy. I want to be the one to make you smile and bring that sparkle into those beautiful brown eyes. I want to make you laugh. You’re intelligent, generous, and loving. I love all those things about you, and I can’t wait to find out more about who you are.”

Julia shook her head. “Stop it. It’s too much. You’re too much. I can’t process this right now. Please understand, you’re a wonderful man. You deserve someone who will appreciate you.”

“Julia—“

“
Please
.” She gulped back the tears. She had to be strong enough to save the tears until she could be alone. “I know what it’s like to waste my time loving someone. I don’t want to do that to you. We don’t have a future together.”

He stiffened. Her words finally got through to him. He took the warmth of his body when he stepped back.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly.

She couldn’t look at him. She walked swiftly toward the front door. She could almost feel the heat of his hot gaze on her retreating back. At the door, she turned to look over her shoulder. Sure enough, he stood there where she’d left him, watching her.

 
She paused for a moment, her heart filled with longing. She wished she could go back in time to the club and experience the comfort of his strong arms around her. She’d felt so free wrapped in his embrace. She’d opened up herself to him in a way she hadn’t to anyone else in a long time.

 
He deserved someone else. She wasn’t whole yet. She didn’t know when she would be, but she was not the right person for him at this time.

 
Julia let herself inside and closed the door.

CHAPTER TEN

 
Mendoza Construction finished the basement in record time. Freddie sent another worker over to the house to help. Julia knew because her father told her so. She avoided going home earlier than nine, finding an assortment of tasks to complete at work to fill the extended hours. Freddie cut back his visits to the house and only came by during the day. With both of them doing such a fine job of avoiding each other, there was no chance of an accidental meeting.

 
Her father’s birthday was less than a week away. He still didn’t have a clue about the apartment.

 
Julia sat doodling in her planner and stopped herself when she was finally conscious of what she was doing. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Freddie. She wanted to call him, but she had no idea what to say.

 
With a heavy sigh, she went through the folders on her desk. Even though she’d been staying late at work, she had plenty to do because she spent much of her time staring off into space.

She flipped open an unmarked folder and stared down at the Mendoza Construction business plan. She had forgotten all about it. She remembered placing it in a folder, thinking she could work on it when she had a break at the office. It had been sitting here untouched the entire time.

 
She felt a bit guilty. Freddie had held up his end of the bargain and taken her dancing. She hadn’t reviewed his plan and offered her advice yet.

 
Julia flipped the pages, reacquainting herself with the data. He had written a sound plan. In fact, almost too sound. His company was debt-free and he had a large sum of money saved. In addition to the funds he received from the bank, he would use his savings to help with his business expansion. He wanted to renovate an abandoned building so he’d have office space. His plan included expanding his workforce and hiring a part-time office assistant.

 
Most people tried to shift most, if not all, the risk to the bank. His plan proposed the reverse. She shook her head and smiled. That was her Freddie. He—

 
Her Freddie
.

Julia closed her eyes and swallowed to relieve the pressure in her throat. She could see his chiseled face now, with that disarming smile of his that made her insides melt like chocolate on a hot stove. Being on the receiving end of his smile could cause any woman to make a detour in the direction her life was taking. It had certainly happened to her.

 
Let yourself go, Julia
. He’d whispered the words at the club, and she had—trusting him, because he saw something in her she hadn’t seen in herself.

 
He’d called her generous and loving, and she’d behaved as if what he’d said was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. Their night out had been perfect, until the end, when she’d run into
him
.

He’d spoiled everything with his cruel words. She’d
let
him spoil everything.

Julia’s eyes flew open as she replayed the confrontation in her mind. It suddenly dawned on her why he had behaved the way he had. He was mad at her. Three years ago, when he’d thrown those accusations at her, calling her frigid and not fun, it had been because she was about to leave him.

Laughter erupted from deep inside her at the realization. Despite destroying her trust and what was left of their relationship, he had actually been angry with her because she decided to leave him, and he had wanted her to suffer because of it.

She laughed again. This time, the sound was so loud she leaned back in her leather chair and covered her mouth with her hand to stop the sound from traveling to her assistant on the other side of the door.

Tears of joys streamed down her face. She wasn’t incapable of love. She wasn’t cold. She wasn’t frigid. Best of all, she hadn’t wasted her time. If she had married him, she would never have met her true love. If she hadn’t gone through what she had, she wouldn’t have known what real love was like—to be treasured, protected, and appreciated.

Was Freddie her soul mate? She didn’t know, but she knew at this point in her life, he was the only man she needed and loved. It was time she made him aware of that fact.

 
Once she got the hysterical laughter to subside, Julia worked on the stack of papers which comprised his business plan. When she finished, she had reworked Freddie’s financial statements and reworded parts of the narrative.