Authors: Natasha Stories
One night, I decided it was time to make a
bolder move. I dressed in one of my prettiest dresses, with a light sweater to
keep off the early evening chill. Wearing boots because I was walking around in
an area with horses passing back and forth, I leaned on the fence as usual. But
this time, whenever Cody managed to rope, throw and tie his calf in under eight
seconds I’d give a whoop and holler. It wasn’t enough to win, but it was
respectable, so the other hands started to whoop, too. The first time, Cody
looked up startled, and by the time he was done practicing, he was searching
for me each time the whoop went up. I just knew he was going to come and talk
to me later, and he did.
Leading Abo over to the fence, he said,
“Hiya, Annalee. Whatcha doin’ out here?”
“Watching you turn into a champion
calf-roper, Cody Wayne, what did you think?” I asked him in turn.
“I dunno. Where’s your kids?”
Lifting my eyebrow to indicate I didn’t
know he was even aware I had kids, I said, “Ciara’s watching them until I go
inside. Can I watch you take care of Abo?”
“I guess so. I didn’t know you knew my
horse’s name.” Well, we were even, then.
“I know a lot more about you than you
think, Cody,” I teased.
“Is that right? What-all do you know?” he
asked, like he was really curious.
“That’s for me to know and you to find
out,” I retorted. I thought it was a good line, one I’d heard in one of the
movies we sometimes watched.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to see about
that.”
By this time, we were in the barn, and Cody
was attending to Abo’s feet after taking off all the tack and then hosing and
currying him. He fell silent while he gave Abo some water, and then asked if
I’d like to walk with him while he cooled the horse down. We strolled out of the
barn, Abo following on the lead, and it was just what I’d been hoping. A
near-full moon lit our way, and no one else was around. Suddenly, I was shy and
didn’t know what to say.
Before I could think of something, Cody
asked me about my kids. “How old are your little ones, now, Annalee? And tell
me their names.”
I flushed and was glad the light wouldn’t
show it. He couldn’t have said anything more likely to make me like him even
more. It made me wonder if he liked kids, or was just trying to make conversation,
so I answered shortly. “Alma is three, and Naphtali is eighteen months.”
“I thought one of them was a boy,” Cody
said.
“Alma is a boy.”
“Funny name for a boy. I always thought
Alma was a girl’s name.”
Stung, I said with a little heat, “He’s
named for a man in the Book of Mormon. We call him Al, though.”
“That’s good. If he starts school with a
name like Alma, he’d better know how to fight.”
Tears sprang to my eyes, unused as I was to
being criticized for my children’s names, and suddenly fearing whether we’d
ever fit in here, out in the world. I couldn’t think what to say to that, so I
said nothing.
“Naphtali’s pretty, though, for a girl. Is
that a woman in the Book of Mormon?”
“No,” I managed to choke out. “It’s a
country. But I thought it was pretty, and my husband said it was all right to
name her that.”
At the mention of my husband, Cody
stiffened. I had to restrain my hand from flying to my forehead in a slap; what
a blunder! Even though I had never been legally married, and was not now
married in any way, shape or form, mentioning a husband to a beau had to be the
worst mistake I could have made.
“I see,” Cody ventured cautiously. “What do
you call her for short?”
“Tali.” I had to answer as little as I
could, so I wouldn’t make another stupid mistake.
“Oh, that’s cute. I’ve seen all the little
ones out playing or splashing around in the pool. They’re like a bunch of
puppies, aren’t they?”
Puppies! Yes, that’s exactly what they were
like. All aged between Amber’s six-month-old and my Al, they tumbled over one
another and argued over toys, just like a litter of puppies. The thought
charmed me for a minute.
“Do you like kids, Cody?” I had to ask.
“I guess so. I mean, I never had much to do
with little ones, but they sure are cute from where I stand.”
“That’s pretty much like puppies, too,” I
said. “Cute from a distance, but they sure make a mess up close. They’re a lot
of work.”
“That’s why God gave ‘em mommas, I reckon,”
he said.
I shivered a little then, whether because
of his mention of God, who had never done me any favors, or because the wind
was coming up and I was a bit chilly. Cody looked down at me from his six-foot
three height and said, “Are you cold?”
“Maybe a little,” I admitted.
“Here, let me help.” As matter-of-factly as
his words, his arm went around my shoulder and blocked the wind. A thrill of
excitement went through me. First step made; he’d noticed me. I knew I could
build on that.
After that night, we walked Abo together
every night that he could practice. Cody said it would get too cold to do it
before long. He told me that when he went on the rodeo circuit, he’d go south
in the winter, to Texas or somewhere a lot warmer, where he could train Abo
year-round. I would have been sad at that, but I thought maybe he’d take me
with him.
Even though he often put his arm around me
for warmth, it took Cody too long to kiss me. I thought he never would, so I
asked him.
“Cody Wayne, are you ever going to kiss me,
or do I have to go find me another cowboy to kiss?”
He turned ice-blue eyes on me, and said, “I
reckon I wouldn’t like it if you found someone else.” Then he bent to kiss me
like a brother, lips to my cheek. I had to figure it was all I was going to get
that night. But maybe I’d planted a seed.
The next night, Cody put his arm around me
before we even walked out of the barn. We walked Abo about a quarter-mile, to a
stack of hay bales that were waiting for a truck to take them out to one of the
line cabins the next day. Cody startled me by lifting me at the waist to sit on
one of the bales, then moved toward me, eyes intent on mine.
“Annalee, I’ve been wantin’ to kiss you for
a while now. If that’s okay with you, I mean.”
In answer, I swayed toward him, and his
arms came around me, holding me tight. His lips, chapped from sun and wind,
were warm on mine, sending thrills through me. I closed my eyes and kissed
back, then drew back, startled, when I felt his tongue on my lips.
“What are you doing?”
“Kissin’ you.”
“With your tongue?”
He laughed. “Haven’t you ever kissed
before?”
“Well, yes, but there were no tongues
involved.”
“No? Then you haven’t really kissed. Relax,
I’ll teach you.”
He touched my lower lip with one finger,
teasing it open. Gently but firmly, he pressed one hand against the back of my
head and held me still while he kissed me, probing with his tongue until my
mouth opened more, all by itself. Then he deepened the kiss, moaning a little
as his tongue found its way inside my mouth to tease mine. A hot bolt of
lightning went through me then, and if he’d tried it, I would have opened to
him and maybe got in trouble. As it was, he only kissed me, long and sweet,
with his man-thing pressed against my leg, big and hard. For the first time in
my life, I wanted to see it, touch it. But Cody was in charge, and Cody wasn’t
in a hurry, or so I thought.
I returned to the house that night with my
face red and burned from his day-old beard and my heart racing faster than ever
before. Taking my kids from Janey, who had watched them that night, I went to
bed and pressed my hands between my legs, making me throb where they touched me
in the center. I didn’t know what to make of this, but I knew Charity could
help.
“Charity, something happened last night
that I need to ask you about.”
“Come on in my room,” she said. “I need to
nurse Kitty.”
This wasn’t the first time I’d ever been in
her bedroom, but I was struck again by how beautiful it was. Where all of our
rooms were Western-themed, with heads of deer and elk on the walls and dark
plaid quilts on the beds, hers was soft and pink. Everything was covered in
velvet or silk, and it was all in shades of pink chosen to look good together.
She sat in a chair with a nursing pillow wrapped around her to support Kitty’s
weight, and she had me take a seat on a funny-looking sofa, with a high arm on
one end, only half a back, and then nothing on the other end. She called it a
‘shayz’.
“What is it, Annalee? Boy trouble?”
I blushed, hating being a blonde at that
moment. “Sort of,” I admitted. “I wanted to know about a feeling I had. I’ve
never had it before, and I’d like to know what it is.”
“Okay. Tell me what you were doing when you
got it, and how it felt,” Charity said, adjusting Kitty on her nipple to ease a
pinch.
“Well, Cody was kissing me…”
“Oh, Annalee! I’m glad!” she cried.
“Have you ever kissed with your tongue,
Charity?” I asked, fearful that the delicious pleasure was forbidden.
“Of course, haven’t you?” Relief flooded
through me. This was a normal thing, and it gave me courage to ask my other
questions.
“Well, now I have,” I said, blushing even
harder. “Cody taught me, last night. And I know he wanted sex, because it was
hard.”
“It?” Charity teased, knowing exactly what
I meant.
“Charity, don’t make this any harder than
it has to be,” I pleaded.
“So to speak,” she muttered, then said,
“I’m sorry, go on.”
“Well, after I came in the house and put
the kids to bed, I went to bed myself and started thinking about it. And I felt
these, waves…I don’t know what else to call them. Down there, you know?”
Charity, with a look of astonishment on her
face, said, “Wait, you’ve never felt that before and you have two kids?”
“Yes,” I said, puzzled because I didn’t see
what kids had to do with it.
“Honey, your husband has a lot to answer
for, not the least of which is teaching you to at least try to enjoy what he
was doing to you. Let me give this some thought, maybe I can help. But for now,
just know that it’s entirely normal, and I’d say that it’s going to happen
more, and more intensely. Don’t worry, you’ll enjoy it.”
I left, feeling relieved but still curious.
Charity hadn’t really told me much, but what she did say made me wonder about
what I knew, or thought I knew. Even more, I wondered about Cody’s experience.
Would he want me, even though I had two kids? Could I satisfy him, if I was too
inexperienced to even know how to kiss? I was so distracted by all this that I
dropped a quart jar of tomatoes that had just come out of the canner. Bursting
into tears, I fled the kitchen, grabbed my kids from the play room and hugged
them tight. Al patted me on the face and said, “It’s okay mommy, don’t cry,”
and Tali tried to do the same in her little lispy voice. They were so sweet, I
didn’t know what I’d ever do without them, even if no man ever wanted me again
because I had them.
When all them girls come to the ranch, it
changed everything for us hands. Before, the boss paid us some attention, but
left us alone to do our work. Uncle Hank would tell us what the boss wanted
done, and what needed to be done besides, and we’d get it done. The only woman
on the ranch was Janet, the cook, and she was older than my mom woulda been if
she hadn’t of died. I didn’t mind that. It was hard enough to know what to say
to the girls at school before I graduated, ‘specially when they got all moony-eyed
and expected stuff I didn’t know nothin’ about.
In my senior year, I had a girlfriend,
though. Wasn’t any of my doin’, Cass just come around and wouldn’t leave, and I
gotta admit, those kisses she gave me were somethin’. Got kinda uncomfortable
in my jeans, if you know what I mean. When the time come that she peeled me
outta them jeans, and showed me what life was all about, I got a whole new
int’rest. That spring, I was a walkin’ hard-on. But then come graduation, and
before I could ask her what next, she up and left me for a dude that graduated
the year before, just ‘cause he got him a fancy new pickup and trailer rig for
his calf-ropin’ horse.
That’s when I decided I’d like to rodeo,
too. The boss told me I was startin’ out at a disadvantage, that everyone on
the circuit had been ridin’ rodeo since they was little kids, but it didn’t
matter to me. I knew I was good with horses. Uncle Hank made me a wrangler
after just six months at the ranch. I just needed to save up and buy me a
horse, tack and some way to get to the rodeos around, and I’d be on my way.
I’d been on the ranch a year and a half by
then, and workin’ full-time once I graduated high school, when I took a shine
to a two-year old frame overo named White’s BB King. The boss liked to name his
horses for old blues singers, Uncle Hank said. I called him by his barn name,
though. One of the other hands, a Mexican outta Texas, named him Abogado. He
said it meant lawyer in Spanish. That was ‘cause no matter what you wanted him
to do, that horse would argue about it. I’d say, “Here, Abo, have some sweet
hay.” And damned if that horse wouldn’t turn his nose up and say, “I’d ruther
have some grain.” Or the other way around. I got such a kick outta that—he was
somethin’! But, he always listened to me, and usually he wouldn’t argue if I
asked him nice. One day, the boss noticed I was givin’ Abo more attention than
the horses in the barn.
“Cody, what’s with you and Abogado? You got
an understandin’?” The other wranglers laughed, because the boss meant was I
sweet on that horse, like a girl, and I turned red.
“Boss, this horse listens to me, I swear
it. I bet I could train him for a calf-ropin’ horse, I put my mind to it.”
“What would you need a calf-ropin’ horse
for, Cody Wayne? Wanta give up wranglin’ and go to cowboyin’?”
“Nosir, Boss. I wanta rodeo.”
“You serious?”
“Yessir. I reckon I know horses and that’s
all it takes.”
“Well, Cody, you got some more reckonin’ to
do, but if you’re real serious, I’d sell you that horse on payments, if you
want him.”
Uncle Hank was there, and Miguel, who’d
named Abo, and a few others. They was all shakin’ their heads like that was a
bad idea. I couldn’t back down. I stuck out my hand to shake on it, and Abo was
mine. At a hundred bucks a month, I reckoned I’d have him paid for about the
time I could start ridin’ him. Right then, I started puttin’ away an extra
hundred for my tack.
I took to ranchin’ like I was born to it,
my Uncle Hank always said. We didn’t talk much about my mom, dead from the
poison my dad was cookin’ up in a shed behind the house and sellin’. I knew
about meth, what kid in this country doesn’t, these days? But I saw what it was
doin’ to Mom, and even though I couldn’t get her to quit it, I wouldn’t touch
it. When Mom died, I called my Uncle Hank and he was there in half an hour,
hollerin’ and takin’ on. He said he was gonna kill my dad. I was sixteen, too
old to cry, but I couldn’t help it. If Mom was dead, and Uncle Hank killed my
dad, I’d be an orphan, and he’d be in prison. I begged him not to, not that my
bastard dad didn’t deserve it. After a while, Hank settled down and took me to
the ranch. We never knew what happened to my dad.
So, there I was, workin’ and goin’ to
school, and then just workin’ and talkin’ to Abo, gettin’ him used to listenin’
to what I said. I was growin’ taller and gettin’ heavier, so I knew I couldn’t
ride him for another coupla years. Makin’ friends with my horse, I didn’t miss
Cass so much, but there was times I like to’ve busted outta my britches, I got
so horny. Times like that, I’d climb way up in the hay loft and take care of
things. I guess the other guys my age was doin’ the same thing. More protein in
the hay, they always joked.
It was three years later that the boss brung
home Miss Charity. She’d had a car wreck, and he’d saved her life. It was plain
to see that they was gettin’ along real good. The best times we had that fall
was watchin’ ‘em try to make out like they wasn’t carryin’ on in bed. Meal
times was just like watchin’ a movie. Then she run off and the boss was like a
wild bronc with a burr under the saddle for a coupla weeks. Next thing we knew,
he took off and when he come home, he had five schoolgirls with him, and damned
if they all didn’t have young’uns, except the youngest one, and she was knocked
up. We didn’t know what to make of it, ‘til the boss sat us down in the barn
one day and explained.
Them girls was all part of some kinda cult,
where they was married, all of ‘em! And all of ‘em was married to one man,
their leader, that they called the prophet. Because of Miss Charity, the boss
had got the menfolk in that place in trouble with the law, because them girls
wasn’t old enough to be married and have kids. And that meant that someone had
to take care of ‘em until they was old enough, see? I guess the boss elected
hisself the one to do that. After that, we saw them pretty girls every meal.
They looked like sisters, all blondes with blue eyes. Their shiny hair was
always done up in tight buns, and me and the other young hands used to talk
about what it would be like to pull them pins and combs out and let that hair
fall over us, all silky-smooth.
Now it was tight in our jeans all the time,
and we was just waitin’ to see who would make a move first, when the boss and
Miss Charity called us together again and told us how it was. Babies or no
babies, them girls was still off-limits, because ain’t none of ‘em was eighteen
yet. That hay got more protein in the next little while than it probly
should’ve. I took to watchin’ the horses careful, to make sure they didn’t get
sick.
It was the next year after that when one of
them girls, Annalee, took to watchin’ me in the ring with Abo, trainin’ him to
stop and back up at just the right time, while I jumped off him and tied down
the calves. I reckoned she might be the oldest, since she had two young’uns, or
maybe it was three. But the two little ones, a boy and a girl, was the same
age, give or take. So unless they was twins, I reckoned one belonged to one of
the other girls.
I’d been watchin’ them all in the swimmin’
pool. All these years, the boss never did fill up that pool before. It wasn’t
hardly worth it, because we could still get snowfall up into June, and it would
be gettin’ cold at night again by the end of August. But this year, with so
many young’uns to keep entertained, I guess he figured it was worth doin’ even
for just a coupla months. Damn, those girls looked good! Every one of us young
hands, and a few of the older ones, took every chance we got to walk or ride
close enough to get a good look at ‘em. Most of ‘em was still feedin’ their
babies, so they had the biggest, ripest tits. All the droolin’ we did shoulda
made grass grow in the hard-packed Wyomin’ dirt.
Besides the girls bein’ good to look at and
dream over, them kids was the cutest little things. They all had fat little
legs and arms and bellies, reminded me of a litter of puppies. When I said that
to the others though, Miguel pushed me over on the bale of hay I was sittin’ on
and said, “Hombre, you keep it in your pants, or you’ll find out just how much
like puppies they ain’t.” The old guys laughed, but we younger ones looked
around all uneasy. How was we supposed to keep it in our pants, when it was
bustin’ to get out every time one of them girls stood up in a bathin’ suit and
stretched. Hot damn!
So, when Annalee took to watchin’ me,
hangin’ over the fence just like one of the hands, I got a funny feelin’ that
keepin’ it in my pants was gonna get even harder to do. I reckoned she was
tryin’ to get my attention, since she didn’t make eyes at any of the others.
But, I didn’t know what to say to her, so I just bided my time. Then, one
night, she must’ve been timin’ me. Every time I got one of them calves tied
down in good time, she’d whoop and holler, and the others would join in, just
like at a real rodeo. My chest got all big inside, and for some reason, I
wanted to cry, but I couldn’t let that happen. After we was done, I went up and
asked her, “Whatcha doin’ out here, Annalee?”
She looked kinda surprised, maybe didn’t
think I’d know her name? But, we’d been eatin’ three meals a day together for
the last ten months or so, how could I not know it? She said, kinda smart-like,
“Watchin’ you turn into a champion calf-roper, Cody Wayne, what did you think?”
That there did it for me. After that, I
never did have eyes for any of them other girls. It was Annalee for me, or no
one. But I reckoned gettin’ a girl was kinda like fishin’. You had to tease ‘em
a little with the lure, then set the hook before you reeled ‘em in, fightin’
all the way. The best time fishin’ is when you get a wily one, that won’t take
the hook. You can play with that fish all afternoon, and then, when both of you
are tired and ready, bam! Set the hook and get ‘em up on shore. Only this fish,
I didn’t plan to catch and release. No, she was worth takin’ home for dinner.
It got to where I was countin’ on seein’
her every night, and I finally worked up the nerve to kiss her. It kinda
surprised me that she kissed like a little girl, lips all closed. Cass had been
a good teacher, and I wanted more. The first time I give her a little tongue,
Annalee didn’t know what to make of it, but she learned quick. Every time I
poked my tongue in her mouth and she sucked on it, my jeans would get a little
tighter, until, by the time I walked her back to the ranch house, I was
surprised I
could
walk. I didn’t know when we’d get to the peelin’ me
outta them part, but I schooled myself to wait. Still teasin’ her with the
lure, see. Only, it was makin’ me almost sick to my stomach every night, and
the hay got even more protein. I wasn’t sure who was doin’ the teasin’, come to
think of it. Maybe she’d set the hook soon. I couldn’t wait much longer.
~~~
One mornin
’ Uncle
Hank told me to saddle up and take a ride with him. This usually meant I was in
trouble, or at least in for a dressin’ down. But this time, I couldn’t think
what I might’ve done to deserve it. Feelin’ a little itchy between my shoulder
blades, I put my tack on one of the ranch horses; I didn’t want to tire Abo
out, since we was gettin’ to the cold weather, and there wouldn’t be many more
chances to train him this year.
I rode up next to Hank on his big gelding
and said, “Where we goin’?”
“Just for a ride, boy,” Hank answered me. I
couldn’t think of anything else to say that wouldn’t let him know I was
expectin’ to get an earful from him, so I didn’t say nothin’.
We rode out along a well-used trail toward
one of the cattle tanks that kept the herds watered all summer. Hank said he
wanted to check how much water was in it, but I knew that was an excuse. We’d
had some good rain in September, so I reckoned the tank would be full. Too bad
it would be too chilly to take a dip in. The boss hadn’t invited us to use the
pool, which was now closed up anyhow, since the weather had turned cold at
night. So we had to make do with skinny-dippin’ in the tanks whenever we was
close to one. I didn’t reckon that was what Uncle Hank had in mind anyway, and
I was right.
“That Annalee seems to be payin’ you some
attention,” he said.
I stiffened. I guess it wasn’t easy to keep
anything to yourself on a ranch. It was like a little town, after all. Everyone
knew everyone else’s secrets. I wondered if Hank knew I jacked off in the
hayloft every night after Annalee left me, on fire from the kissin’.
“You need to watch yourself around them
girls, Cody,” Hank said.
“Aw, Uncle Hank, we’re just playin’.
Nothin’ dirty goin’ on.”
“Mark my words, boy. That girl’s trouble.
You’re only twenty-one, and the last thing you need right now is a knocked-up
girlfriend that’s already got two kids. You’re too young to be a father.”
To tell the truth, I hadn’t thought much
about it that way. Her kids were cute, and I liked them when she brought them
out on weekends so we could all have a picnic. But, I didn’t have any idea of
bein’ their father. Or of havin’ babies of my own yet. I had to get on the
rodeo circuit and make me some money before that would be in the cards.
“I know, Uncle Hank. I’m keepin’ it in my
pants.” At least until she’s back in the house, I muttered to myself. I didn’t
know Uncle Hank had such sharp ears.
“Glad to hear you’re takin’ care of it by
yourself, boy.” Then he grinned, and said, “Let me see your palms.”