Wrecked (The Blackened Window) (44 page)

Anger, then sadness, then resignation, then true acceptance. “I don’t want to come by myself. I’ve missed you too much. I want you to make me come. But please,
please
, don’t make me wait too long.”

Her pupils were still wide and her lips still puffy when we left. She was beautiful—her gown was a deep blue and draped over her body elegantly, but still sexy as fuck. It was low in the back and had an exposed shiny silver zipper that played against some subtle silver studs scattered over her. But her shoes were superhigh, too high. I put the necklace, which I knew was really a collar, on her before we left and it fell right where I wanted it to.

We took a car service to the club to meet my mom for dinner. Belatedly, I thought about how it may have been poor planning to play with her that hard right before meeting my parents, but we had both needed it, I thought. My mother was waiting for us. She stood as we approached the table. She kissed my cheek, ever aware of all the eyes around us.

“Alex, honey.” She turned to Leda, who was still flushed from sex and a hot shower, followed by the brisk DC winter air. “And the famous Leda! He was so mopey for Christmas without you.”

Cut that shit out, Mom.
“Mom, this is Leda Collins. Leda, this is my mother, Nancy Stone.”

They shook hands, but my mom pulled her into a hug, air-kissing her cheeks. This was much more effusive than my WASPy mom ever was. I filed that mental note as we sat down. Leda smiled at the warm reception.

The meal was a set New Year’s menu, reflecting the chef’s French training. It was excellent as always. The conversation was light, because anyone could overhear us. The dining room was packed with all kinds of Washingtonians. Lobbyists, staff members for various public officials and politicians, society types. The upper echelon of the Beltway. Everyone in the room noticed everyone else.

I was raised with it and knew how to play the part. I hadn’t given Leda any kind of warning, but she was doing well. She listened with interest to the conversation, laughing at the right times, not too loud, but clearly visible to anyone watching. It was completely unaffected, because it was real. I noticed the leeches watching us, wondering who she was. As much as everyone involved in the scandal with Stacy tried to keep it quiet, there is no place on Earth that likes a scandal as much as Washington, and most people knew something weird, something sexual had happened between me and someone. The stories I had heard were all over the place, from as relatively tame as a three-way to as fucked up as bestiality. So, any woman with me was at least a little bit interesting. And Leda was stunning and young. It made it that much more titillating and I knew it.

My mom knew it too, and took pains to mention Leda’s name, often and loudly, intending to be overheard. The context left no doubt she was my date, and clearly more than a onetime only date. People around town would hear about her tomorrow. There was nothing to do except fuck with people—that, or roll over and take it.

When we left, I offered them each an arm with a wide smile on my face, but after a few steps, I moved my hand to Leda’s elbow, then to the small of her back and just as we crossed the threshold out of the dining room, to her ass. Let them talk about that shit. I had a reputation for having a robust, nearly animal sexual appetite.
Why stop the rumor now?

We all rode back in the town car and kept the conversation light, but I felt myself pulling in. I hated these things. Hated all the memories they brought back to me. Hated the weird repressed sexual energy that kept people staring at me for the first half of the night, then invariably led to cougar-wannabes coming on to me later, when they were a few drinks into their liquid courage. They all hoped I’d bring my magic cock and make it all feel good again. It was different than fucking with the anonymous public at the club because these people thought they could use my sexuality to control me, to influence my dad or the Senator.

My mom knew how I felt. Hell, half her friends had tried to fuck me. As we pulled into the line of cars at the hotel, she tapped my foot with hers and I glanced up at her. She smiled at me, glanced at Leda and raised her eyebrows, then winked. She approved.

In the ballroom, my mom pointed my dad out easily but quickly went to the bar. She hated these as much as I did, but mostly because he’d brazenly hit on anything female under thirty and it was embarrassing for her. And living up to his rep, he was dancing with some slut in a skintight, silver floor length gown. The song stopped and it was fucking Stacy that he stepped away from. Of course it was.

I spared Stacy a smile, but she knew the coldness in my eyes and slipped away. “Dad, I want you to meet someone.”

My dad came over to us, and the bastard looked my girl over from head to toe, lingering briefly on her breasts. I wanted to punch his stupid face. But, it was quick and I hoped that she hadn’t noticed or at least wasn’t too offended.

He extended his hand to her. “Leda, hello. Pleased to meet you.”

“Dad, this is my girlfriend, Leda Collins. Leda, this is my dad, Denny Stone.”

She shook his hand, “Nice to meet you Mr. Stone.”

“Did you bring your mother?”

I nodded as he found her in the crowd, but I was ready to move on to anything else. “Well, Happy New Year’s, Dad. I think I’m going to take Leda for a drink. See you later.” I started pulling her away, but she spoke over her shoulder.

“Nice to meet you, sir. Happy New Year.”

Oh, no, little one. You shouldn’t call anyone but me sir, but especially not that dick head.

She looked up at me and I must have been clenching her elbow because a little crease of pain cleared from her eyes when I intentionally loosened my grip.

“You okay, Boss?”

I wasn’t paying very close attention to her as she spoke, but answered anyway. “What? Oh. My dad is a dick. He cheats. And don’t call him sir. I don’t ever want to hear that word coming out of your mouth for anyone other than me.”

She pressed her body into mine and smiled at me. “Okay, honey. Let’s go get that drink.”

The party was more of the same. People working the room, false laughter, just falsity in general. I only left her side a few times, mostly when one or both of us needed to refresh ourselves. Every so often, I’d slip her into some hidden corner and we’d kiss some, I’d threaten her and she’d flush. I had left her seriously wanting and it showed.

But I was distracted by all the ghosts of my life, by all the BS I wanted no part of now. Leda took it in her stride. She was a champ, charming and coy. Demurring away from dancing with the old men who hit on her when I wasn’t at her side. We danced a few times and she didn’t really know how to do it. We’d need to take some dancing lessons together sometime when med school was done.

At midnight, Noe made his speech, asking for money, condemning the Left and trying to be charming all at once. When we counted down, I turned to Leda to kiss her and she looked…troubled. But it was a moment, just a passing thing that she hid from me as soon as I looked at her. I let it go, toasted the New Year and kissed her. As I deepened the kiss, I heard my name being called, a voice I didn’t want to hear, but would know anywhere.

“Xander!” I turned to see Stacy, a big smile painting her face.

“Hi, Stacy. Happy New Year.” I kissed her cheek, kind of amazed that she was braving her dad’s wrath in a room full of people who all thought they knew what happened between us. Her cheek was hot under my lips and, as I pulled away, I saw the flush there. The excitement in her eyes, the way she used to get when we were kids—when we got high and fucked.

“Guess who’s here, Xander.” She was nearly bouncing on her toes and her excitement was a little infectious. Even though I didn’t want to encourage her, I couldn’t help but smile. No matter how excited she was, I couldn’t be disrespectful to Leda. I pulled her toward me and tucked her under my arm.

“You remember Leda.”

She barely registered that Leda was there. “Seriously, Xander! The Nymphos are staying here!”

In just the briefest blink of an eye, a flash of images rioted through my brain. Some chick’s tits in my face, licking up the last bit of coke after snorting most of it off her. Stacy with some guy eating her pussy while she tipped back a huge bottle of Jack Daniels. The flash of a hand slapping an ass. A handful of pills. The hard-on that wouldn’t go away, no matter how many girls I fucked that night. Licking Stacy’s sweat off her back. Laughing when we couldn’t walk. Falling asleep on the tour bus and laughing more when we realized we were in North Carolina.

And even though it was part and parcel of my shit with her, it was still one of the best weekends of my life. A once in a lifetime thing. Wildness beyond measure, loss of control, complete hedonism. “Seriously? Why?” I hadn’t heard of them in a good five years and had assumed that one of them had died or they’d broken up or something.

“Yeah. They’re staying here while they play a few shows downtown. Do you remember when we went to that show?”

Of course I do.

“Jesus, I got so fucked up!” She laughed and I laughed a little with her.

Then I laughed harder, remembering how innocently the night had started. Me and her and a few of her friends. They’d all left when we’d started drinking and it was clear I couldn’t drive. “Yeah, I remember thinking I was going to get arrested for plying minors with alcohol if we got pulled over. That was what, ten years ago?”

Her face stilled. “Jesus, yes. Just about ten fucking years ago. I’m gonna try to track them down. You wanna come?”

It surprised me again. She cared less and less about her dad’s image and I liked it. I liked that she was thinking for herself. I smiled, but surprised colored my voice. “Aren’t you worried about pissing your dad off?”

“Not really. Seriously, fuck him. This is bullshit. Now I get why you went so far away for med school. Come on. Leda can come too.” She smiled, glancing at Leda as an afterthought. I knew her and knew she didn’t really mean the insult. But it was an insult nonetheless.

“Ohhh, no, I don’t think so.” It seemed like a terrible idea. As much as part of me wanted to relive my blatantly self-destructive phase, even if just for one night. “But text me if you do find them. I want to hear if they remember you as well as you remember them.” I couldn’t help but laugh again, remembering her legs all akimbo when she’d passed out in the tub and one of the groupies turning the water on to wake her up. And Stacy punching her and kicking her off the bus at a truck stop somewhere.

Stacy stood on her tip toes to kiss my cheek, but said goodbye to Leda. I watched her walking away, seeing the woman she had become and feeling nostalgic.

Leda pulled me toward her, saying, “If you want to go with her, you can…or we can. I want to hear this story of an apparently epic night. I never knew you two did stuff like that.” She smiled and fuck, she was being so polite and kind. Not nearly as fiery as she had been when we’d gone for sushi and run into Stacy.

I was torn. Stacy was my past. Leda was my future. “We grew up together. I remember her playing with Barbies in the yard at parties with our families. It was a different part of my life. My parents were happy, well…happier. They’re good memories. By the time she was graduating high school and I was in college, we were really close, like brother and sister.” I felt like a dick. Why hadn’t I ever told her any of this? “We saw the Nymphos one summer while I was home and…it was just crazy.”

“Really, Xander. If you want to go with her, that’s fine.”

I was observant enough to know that was a lie, but it was a kind lie. “No, Leda. I don’t think that’s a good idea. In fact, I think we should leave pretty soon. Let’s start making the rounds to say goodnight.” I took her hand and led her around the room, saying brief goodnights and wishing people a good new year as we went.

We found my mother at the First—and only—Wives Table. It was all political wives that would never be left. They were all older, had some reason that their husbands would never leave—fear of scandal, lack of a prenup, or a prenup where all the money came from her side. But all their husbands cheated, some of them with men. It was a sad fact of the political world, especially the Religious Right, the Moral Majority. They cheated as much as any other group in the US—maybe more. There were a bunch of loosely closeted, self-loathing gays in the party too. I don’t know why that bothered me more.

Stacy popped up at my side as we got to the First Wives Table. “Ahhhh! I found them! They’re playing some show tonight, but should be back soon. Check it, they still have the same manager. Butch remembered us… Well, mostly me because…you know.”

“You threatened to cut his dick off. With your broken bottle of Jack. I think I remember that you did actually cut him, right? Did he tell you to fuck off?” I laughed again and couldn’t even remember why she was gonna castrate him, or how he’d ended up naked with her when she had a broken bottle in her hand.

“No! We…uh…we made up later that weekend.”

Oh Jesus, who didn’t she fuck?

“Anyway, I’m going to meet their bus when they get back. Probably in a few hours. Then try to hit up the afterparty with them. You should come too.”

“Stacy—”

She cut me off. “Please come meet me. It’s been a long time and things have changed, Alex. I miss you.”

I didn’t answer her, just hugged her—and she walked away, without looking back at me. And I knew it was right, but it still hurt a little. I forced myself to smile as I turned to Leda. I needed to feel her close to me and pulled her into a hug, breathing in her scent and relishing the peace the settled in my heart with it. She shifted a little in my arms and her breasts pressed into my torso.

It was enough. I wanted her again. I pulled her back from me to look in her eyes. “Let’s go, little girl. I think I owe you something.” I leaned past her to say goodnight to my mom, offering to walk her up. She declined, citing Bitsy’s current tirade against John as reason enough to stay up. But as I nodded and turned away, she grabbed my shoulder and pulled me down into a hug, so she could whisper in my ear.