Write That Book Already!: The Tough Love You Need To Get Published Now (24 page)

Rabih Alameddine

Author of
The Hakawati
, says “I don’t particularly care for inspirational books or how-to books, especially when it comes to writing. What inspired me to write were novels. I could name quite a few, but the top of the list, the one that I would give to anyone who wishes to write is Italo Calvino’s
If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler
. It’s about reading, writing, and enjoying the entire lunatic world of fiction.”

Daniel Handler, AKA Lemony Snickett

Author of
The Latke Who Couldn’t Stop Screaming: A Christmas Story
, illustrated by
Lisa Brown
: “Lately I’ve been giving people I love a book I love by Joshua Beckman entitled
Your Time Has Come.
It’s a striking, tiny book full of striking, tiny poems, perfect for all the striking people in your life, whether or not they are tiny and whether or not they like poetry.”

Janis Cooke Newman

Author of
Mary Todd Lincoln
: “Everybody with a kitchen should own a copy of
Joy of Cooking
by Irma S. Rombauer and Marion Rombauer Becker. The 1975 edition is the best, acknowledging the invention of the microwave and including advice on how to prepare opossum.”

THE ROCK BOTTOM REMAINDERS’ FAVORITE BOOKS TO GIVE TO CHILDREN

Dave Barry, lead guitar

Coauthor of
Science Fair
: “For girls, I highly recommend the ‘Doll People’ series by Ann Martin, Laura Godwin, and Brian Selznick. These three books—
The Doll People
,
The Meanest Doll in the World
, and
The Runaway Dolls
—are wonderfully imaginative and have great page-turner plots. I read the first two to my daughter, Sophie, who would not let me stop reading; she devoured the third on her own. For younger readers, you can’t beat the ‘Pigeon’ books by Mo Willems, which are hilarious and a little weird, not unlike Mo Willems himself.”

Roy Blount Jr., background vocals

Author of
Alphabet Juice
: “
Mrs. Discombobulous
by Margaret Mahy, illustrated by Jan Brychta. The eponymous Mrs. D. is always all up in her husband’s face—she calls him, among other things, ‘Mr. Tom Fool Noodle’—but then she falls into the washing machine, and after due consideration—‘Swish swash do the wash, swish swash do the wash’—he saves her. She is moved to think about the way she has been talking to him and she promises to be nicer. That’s the bare bones, which are fleshed out by lots of colorful vituperation from the Mrs., which my kids loved to hear and to repeat, and which I loved to read aloud. As I recall, the washing machine also goes ‘Frooom.’”

James McBride, saxophone

Author of
Song Yet Sung
: “I liked Beverly Cleary’s books on Homer Price when I was a kid because I always wanted my own bicycle. That took years to happen, and by the time I got a bicycle I was so old I didn’t like her books any more.”

Amy Tan, rhythm dominatrix

Author of
Saving Fish from Drowning
: “
The Little Prince.
It’s a book for all ages, and at all ages we experience moments of loss and also become lost. The Little Prince is able to find what matters by looking beyond assumptions. He reminds us to not limit our hope to what we assume is ‘realistic.’ He thinks you can still find what most think is forever gone. It’s a good book to read when you are becoming cynical about the world—in other words, a book for many to read now.”

WRITING

We said it at the begining of this book and we’ll say it again—the writing comes first. There is no one way to complete a manuscript, but the most important thing is to sit down and get started. So if you haven’t written today, stop reading this now and write two pages. Then come back and keep reading.

It’s a good idea (but perhaps not essential) to have some sense of what you want to accomplish when you begin, but remain open to changing course if the writing leads you that way. Maybe your family saga about eighteenth-century Czech cheesemakers just doesn’t work in the first person (from the point of view of the soup ladle) and wants to be in the third person. Maybe your characters will let you know what they want to do; maybe you’ll get to boss them around. Perhaps your sweeping history of civilization viewed through the lens of nap taking has morphed into a more focused look at bed making—be open to the possibility that the new direction may be the one you should follow and that you may have more than one book idea going simultaneously. Some authors like to write detailed outlines and character studies, while others like to be surprised as the manuscript unfolds. Perhaps your historical treatise requires years of research. By all means max out that library card. But while you’re at it, don’t forget to write, and don’t be afraid of where the writing takes you.

MORE WRITING

Once you’ve completed a first draft, you’ll need to reread your manuscript with a sharp eye out for all manifestations of weakness: redundancies, inconsistencies, and inaccuracies. We recommend reading out loud, even if it’s just to the dog or the goldfish (or both). Once you’ve corrected glaring errors, find a trusted friend or two (aside from the dog) to read your manuscript. It’s best if you avoid asking people with personal agendas—your doting grandmother, let’s say, or your ex-husband. You’ll want the opinion of intelligent people who love to read, and who aren’t afraid to give constructive criticism. Give your readers plenty of time, remembering that most people are too busy to concentrate on your writing above all else—and never give anyone the only copy of your manuscript. This might also be a great time to join (or start) a writers’ group or enroll in a creative writing class at your local college or library, where you’ll be able to get feedback on your own writing while reading and critiquing others’.

Tough Love from the Author Enablers

You know who you are—you say you’re a writer, but no one’s ever seen your work. What—you think you’re a shy version of J. D. Salinger? Find a writing companion, writers’ group, or class. Not later—do it now! ‹«

AGENT SEARCH

Once your manuscript is in very good shape, the next step is finding a literary agent to represent you. Publishers generally look more seriously at projects that are represented by literary agents, especially if the author is relatively unknown, and that’s only one reason why it makes sense to have an agent. Agents know the editors and how to pitch to them. They can set deadlines for responses to a proposal, identify problems in your contract that you might not notice, and act as your designated nagger when you need information from your publisher, allowing you to be the sweetheart in kind of a good cop/bad cop scenario. Agents usually have specialties, and a good place to start looking for the right one for you is a publication called
Literary Market Place
, available in libraries and online at
www.literarymarketplace.com
. LMP features a listing of reputable agents with a brief description of each one’s focus.

You can also meet agents at most writers’ conferences. There are good conferences all over the country, and many offer opportunities to help out as a volunteer if you can’t afford the tuition.

Yeah, yeah . . . we know all this can be a frustrating and time-consuming process. It’s a little like being told that you can’t get a certain job until you have five year’s experience in the field, and you can’t get the experience without getting the job. All we can say is if you want to be published, then it’s worth hanging in there. It’ll be well worth the time and effort—and the frustration—once you find the right agent to champion your book.

Everyone Needs An Editor

It is possible to get published without an agent, and for that matter, without a publisher. If you decide to represent yourself to publishers, we suggest you hire a professional editor/copyeditor to look over your work. ‹«

MORE WRITING

Guess what? Even if an agent loves your manuscript and wants to represent you, chances are you will be asked to make some changes. So batten down the hatches and get ready to do another rewrite.

ACQUISITION

You do your rewrite and the agent LOVES your book. Then what? While your manuscript is being shopped around to publishers, you’ll be best off trying to distract yourself with just about anything else you can think of. Go ahead, wax that kitchen floor! Get a pedicure! Take up chess! Read a good book! Start writing another book! Nagging your agent won’t help—you just have to trust the process. The process can be a long and anxious one, until the magic day when your phone rings and your agent delivers the news that there’s an offer for your book.

Sometimes, if there’s more than one offer on the table, a book will go to auction. This means that several publishers are interested and willing to bid on the right to publish your book. But usually—honestly—first-time authors are likely to feel lucky if one publisher makes an offer. Be prepared for a few more weeks of nail-biting while your agent negotiates the details of your contract, and then . . .

GUESS WHAT ? MORE WRITING!

Once the contract is signed, you’ll begin your professional relationship with your in-house editor, who will carefully read your manuscript and give you notes for—you got it—yet another rewrite. This is the beginning of the part of the process when your book is no longer totally your own, but heading toward being the result of the hard work and effort of (you want to hope) a crackerjack team of pros.

EDITING

In the best of all possible worlds, you will have a great deal of respect and admiration for your editor, who in turn will have a great deal of respect and admiration for you. You’ll work together with the same goal in mind—making your book as good as it can possibly be. You’ll listen to each others’ suggestions with open ears, choose your battles when disagreements arise, and carefully consider all editorial notes. Let’s assume this relationship is functioning properly. Once you get notes from your editor, do your best to follow them as you work on this rewrite. Make every effort to get your rewrite finished by the deadline, because a lot of other factors—many of which you’ve probably never thought about—are riding on the manuscript being completed by a certain date.

While everyone’s writing and editing away, a lot will be happening behind the scenes at your publisher’s office.

PRE-PUBLICATION

In the six months leading up to the publication date, your focus shifts away from writing and on to many new areas, such as:

GALLEYS

Galleys (sometimes called AREs—for advance readers editions or ARCs for advance readers copies) look like paperback versions of your book with a lot of typos in them. This is because galleys are printed before final copyediting is completed. Galleys (or AREs or ARCs) are used for several purposes. They are sent to book reviewers and other media, especially those requiring a long lead-time for reviews or interview booking. They are also distributed to book buyers at retail outlets and others who can influence advance orders. When you hear about “early buzz” for a title, this usually means that booksellers have read the galleys and are excited about the forthcoming book. It’s a good thing. Also, they are often used for soliciting endorsements.

CATALOGUE

Not unlike the catalogues you get in the mail at holiday time, this is an in-house publication used by the sales and publicity team. Your catalogue page will typically have an image of the cover (though this, and even the title, may change before publication rolls around), a description of the book, an overview of the publicity and marketing plan, and a bit of information about you. It’s important, for example, for booksellers and media outlets to know where you live and work, so they’ll know how flexible your time will be when it comes to booking interviews and appearances. If you have a website, it might be mentioned here, and your previous publications and media appearances may be included. The catalogue is seen by librarians, book and gift buyers, university professors, other publishers, and—who knows—maybe even an enterprising movie producer or two. The decision to catalogue your book means that the publisher has made a fairly firm decision about a number of aspects of your book, such as the title, subtitle (for nonfiction), price, and publication date. Timing is based on many factors, including the state of your manuscript, the business needs of the publisher, and your writing and genre. In the world of bookselling, each season has its own personality, and you’ll be listed in the appropriate catalogue. There are many, many exceptions, but “big” books are usually released in the fall, gift and self-help in the winter, and lighter reading in the spring/summer seasons. We say there are many exceptions because there really are—a publisher might release a big fiction title in the summer because the manuscript was delayed or the style of book lends itself to that season. An important book about some great historical figure might be tied to the birth or death anniversary or some other important life event. Religious holidays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, elections, and so on are all considered when a book’s timing is being determined.