Wrong (18 page)

I knew everything I was doing was wrong.

But I was too far gone – in the moment and the entire affair. I was lost in the nonstop pleasure and the gratification, so I stayed there with him. In that shower, the water still beating, I kissed my stepbrother, his tongue hot in my mouth and his seed warm down my thighs.

It felt too good to stop.

Chapter Twenty-One

After ten minutes of tearing through my closet, I gave up, plopping on my bed in my T-shirt and panties. Normally, before any sort of dinner or party, Aria came by to help me stay motivated in terms of getting dressed and doing makeup. But tonight, she was off helping A.J set up his annual Friendsgiving dinner.

He’d been holding it for half a decade now, and I’d come to look forward to the night more than actual Thanksgiving. It was more fun and more food, held every year at his parents’ Polish diner in the East Village. After closing, A.J and his brothers went into the restaurant, pushed together all of the tables and brought out two giant turkeys that Mr. and Mrs. Rutkowski had been cooking for them all day. Then they surrounded the birds with dozens of platters of stuffing, kielbasa, cornbread and bigos – basically every classic American and Polish staple.

And then, of course, there was booze. An absolutely absurd amount of booze.

“So what’s the deal now with Aria?” Riley asked, wandering into my room since Liam had just jumped in the shower. “Is it official now?” she asked, downing her second glass of red and then picking up mine to continue drinking.

To my relief, she hadn’t acted any differently to me since our day at Onyx Fitness. She was, however, angry with me for a solid few hours because I’d left her alone with Natalie – or “chatty Cathy and her six-pack abs” – and that I’d disappeared without giving her the combination to our shared locker, which admittedly, was truly shitty of me. She had apparently looked for Liam and me everywhere, and had even asked Max why the hell we had disappeared together. Max improvised a half-lie about how Liam was showering, and how he’d seen me run into a friend at the juice bar and go off with her somewhere. Of course, I promptly ruined the front by acting clueless when Riley finally found me and asked who I’d run into. “Why is your hair wet?” she’d asked. “How did you already shower? I was in the locker room for the past twenty minutes waiting for you to come back. I didn’t see you in there.”

In my panic, I blurted that I’d gone outside the building with Tuck – that I didn’t want an audience while I was trying to flirt. “
I
was with Tuck for awhile,” she said with narrowed eyes, but eventually, she dropped the subject. She was in a huff and kept shooting me looks for the duration of our shift at the bar that night, but to my serious relief, it wasn’t long before she was back to normal.

And now, with wine in her veins and gossip on her mind, she was more normal than ever.

“You mean Aria and A.J?” I smiled at the sound of their names together. “If it isn’t official yet, it will be soon.”

“Ugh, that makes me sick,” Riley joked. “Fucking lovebirds everywhere I go. You and Tuck. A.J and Aria. Hey, if I weren’t married, A.J would’ve gone for me, right?”

I glanced up at Riley. I couldn’t help but feel anxiety whenever she talked about her crushes lately. “I don’t know, Riles.”

Pounding the last of her drink – rather, my drink – Riley set the glass on my dresser. Crossing her arms, she leaned on my doorframe, quiet for a second. “You can’t hook up with anyone tonight. Okay?”

“What?”

“Promise me you won’t.”

My pulse picked up. “Why are you saying this?”

“I’m talking about how I usually flirt with A.J at these dinners and now he’s all wifed up, so I can’t,” she grumbled, easing my tension. “So you have to stick my by side all night. In single girl solidarity.”

“You are very much not single, Riley.”

“I might as well be.”

I dropped the shirt in my hands and looked up at her. “Alright, what’s going on? Are you guys going to like… divorce or something?”

“What? Fuck no. I’d be broke if we divorced. I just like to pretend sometimes, Sasha. You’ll learn when you get older and marry a guy who stops fucking you. Sometimes, you just need a little crush to get by. It’s not like I’m cheating. All I’m doing is flirting. It’s harmless.”

“Fine. I just don’t know how to respond sometimes.”

“I’ll tell you how to respond – you respond by telling me I’ve still got it and I’m not in fact the oldest twenty-eight-year-old in the history of man.”

I tossed her a long-sleeve black dress that I borrowed from Aria. “You’re not. You’re still the hot chick, alright? Now go prove it to me by trying this slinky thing on.”

“Christ, it’s tiny.” Riley’s eyebrows ascended, trying to stretch the barely stretchable fabric. “I won’t be able to eat more than half a fucking corn muffin tonight.”

“Just try it,” I said, only half-joking as I stared her down till she left to change in the bathroom. I breathed out when she was gone and flopped back onto my bed, closing my eyes and wishing I could just open them and be ready.

When I finally did open them, I wasn’t magically dressed for dinner, but I had another treat waiting for me. Lying in bed, I gazed out my door to find a freshly showered Liam returning from the kitchen with a beer. I relived the insanely hot sex we’d had in the Onyx locker room as my eyes caught on his water-flecked abs. Shamelessly, I trailed them down to those gorgeous hipbones. That V was cut so deep I wanted to fucking lick it.

Tied well below those carved lines was a plush, white towel. It was all that Liam wore but the second we exchanged silent grins, he whipped it casually off, tossed it in my room and kept walking, leaving me open-mouthed and unblinking as I watched his muscled back and naked ass stroll into his room.

“Uh-
oh
, I think I
love
it,” Riley called from afar in singsong, emerging from the bathroom just as Liam’s bedroom door closed. She frowned when she walked in to find me blinking, still revisiting the image of Liam’s swollen dick right before he tossed me his towel. “Hello? Now is the time when you shower me with compliments.”

I blinked. A goofy smile twitched onto my lips. “Mm? Right.” I made sure to give Riley a full onceover before offering my assessment, since she hated “fake compliments more than anything in the world.” Looking her up and down, I nodded. “Damn, woman. That does look good,” I said, genuinely admiring the way the wrap dress clung to her waist and hips. I gave her a thumbs up when she tugged the neckline down to show off more cleavage.

“It
is
kind of spectacular, isn’t it? By the way, I’m keeping this,” Riley said, posing in front of my full-length mirror. “Also, please put on some pants so I can call Liam into the room. Honestly, you really shouldn’t be hanging out half-naked with the door open when you live with your stepbrother,” she said, grabbing a pair of shorts out of my drawer and chucking them at me. I enjoyed a private little laugh as I pulled them on, trying to recall at this point how many times Liam had seen me fully naked. “
Liam!
” Riley yelled out the door. “Come here and tell me if I should wear this dress tonight! Sasha says I shouldn’t!” When I shot her a quizzical look, she winked. “Lil’ trick of mine. Tell a guy that someone insulted you and he’ll give you twice as many compliments.”

“Riley. That’s stupid.”

“Hey, you do you, I’ll do – oh. Hello there.” She cut off because appearing suddenly in the doorway was Liam, still shirtless with rivulets of water streaming down the sections of his six-pack. But now at least he wore a pair of jeans. Swigging his beer, he raised his eyebrows at Riley.

“You changed. You look beautiful, Riles.”

“Thank you!” She did a little spin for him and bounced on her heels a bit when he didn’t offer more praise. From behind Riley, I shot Liam a look. He seemed confused but still delivered.

“You should wear this kind of dress more often,” he said, looking at me again to see if he’d properly done whatever it was I was asking him to do. I bit back a laugh. The way he spoke to Riley versus the way he spoke to me was so different it was somewhat amusing.

“So is Travis coming tonight?” Liam asked her.

“Travis who?”

Behind Riley, I motioned for Liam to drop the subject. Again, he looked confused. Only then did I realize just how many secrets I was keeping from him. There was Riley’s secret crush and now, her failing marriage.

But more importantly, I’d never told him about Ethan’s visit to the bar.

A tiny ball of stress formed next to my heart as I remembered what Aria had said recently about Ethan texting her to get to me. I’d blocked his number but clearly, he had yet to give up on us. Which was worrisome. But I tried to ignore it. I knew it was stupid to merely hope for the best and pray my ex would forget me, but I couldn’t bring myself to deal with him. What energy I had left after all the dramas of late I wanted to use to enjoy Liam.

“Planning on getting dressed at all?” His voice broke me out of my thoughts.

“No, I plan on going there in my pajamas.”

“Yeah?” He smirked. “You could pull it off.”

I flashed him a look for his flirtatious tone. God, he made even innocent phrases sound like straight up sex. “Why, thank you,” I finally replied, my rigid voice saying something more like, “
You should probably go now
.” I could feel Riley’s eyes shifting back and forth between us and while she didn’t say anything, I didn’t like the awkward feeling the hung in the air. I was probably being paranoid but a part of me felt like Riley had just read the undertones of Liam’s simple five words, and after that, my uncomfortably stiff response. It didn’t help either that he kept his gaze pinned on me, as if savoring every second of my sheer discomfort.
What the hell are you doing?
I willed him to read my mind. It seemed to work.

“Anyway. I should get changed,” Liam finally decided. “Will you girls be ready in five?”

“Oh, I’m ready, babe,” Riley said. “I’ll have Sash ready soon, too. You, however, need to dry off.”

“True.” Returning his eyes to me, Liam held his hand out. I shook my head but he ignored me. “Toss that towel back, Sash,” he smirked.

I stared at him, trying not to look obviously shocked and fully pissed as I grabbed his wet towel and threw it back to him.

“What the hell was that doing in here?” Riley asked with true confusion. But by then, Liam was headed back to his room and I had just about thrown myself into my closet. “Sash.” My heart pounded when I realized Riley wasn’t dropping the subject. “Why did you have Liam’s towel just now?”

Practically hiding in my clothes, I tore the next piece I saw off its hanger. “He threw it at me before to be a dick.”
Correction: He threw it at me before to show me his dick.
“Do you like this one?” I asked, holding up the dress I’d yanked out of closet in sheer desperation. My heart thumped as my sister stared at me incredulously instead of looking at the dress. She narrowed her eyes at me slowly, shaking her head and opening her mouth to speak, but failing to say a word.
Shit, shit, fuck
. My pulse raced so fast I felt almost dizzy, like the room was a second from spinning around me.

But finally, Riley broke the silence.

“Sash… is this really happening?” she said. “
That
dress? That thing is paper white and you’re about to go to an A.J Rutkowski Thanksgiving. You’re basically guaranteed to have someone drunkenly spill shit on you tonight. Definitely do not wear that.”

I exhaled. Laughing eagerly, I said something or another in agreement, but my heart was still racing.
Goddamnit, Liam
, I cursed in my head as outwardly, I gathered myself to continue gabbing normally with Riley. She snorted, teased me, rolled her eyes as usual. I was grateful for that.

Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted in my sister.

Maybe I was imagining it, or losing it, but it felt as if she were suddenly paying closer attention, eyeing me intensely despite our otherwise normal conversation. A few times, I turned to see her stare already on me, studying me. She didn’t avert it when I caught her. She let it linger, at one point even raised her eyebrow, as if she expected me to say something.

When the three of us finally left for A.J’s dinner, I went straight for the passenger seat of the Uber. Grabbing my phone, I immediately texted Liam.

She suspects something. Please fucking behave tonight.

Chapter Twenty-Two

“Christ. Here we go,” Liam laughed as we got out of the car.

Upon arrival at dinner, the scene outside was predictably chaotic. The Rutkowski’s diner on Second Avenue had big, open windows up front that lent all passerby a pretty good view of the antics going on inside, and tonight, at least at this hour, the show was A.J and his new trainee, Dwyer, on the bar. They were both rocking slicked hair, suspenders and checkered shirts with the collars buttoned. Their tats peeked out from under their rolled up sleeves as they stomped around in some kind of drunken, Titanic-era-looking dance-off. The rest of the guys from the gym were there too, joined by friends, girlfriends and fiancées. They were all laughing, shouting and throwing back drinks. The dinner had started barely twenty minutes ago but clearly, it was already a party. The turkeys were out, too, and looking better than ever surrounded by about twenty sides and an array of pumpkins, squash and sunflowers that I had a feeling was Aria’s doing.

“God, it’s gonna be a stupid good night,” Riley giggled as we watched A.J and Dwyer take a break from their dance so Aria could replenish their energy with what was more likely vodka than water.

Since the door was locked, we knocked for a good few seconds before getting anyone’s attention. The drunk NYU girls that had gathered to watch outside the windows flirted with Liam as we waited to be let in. They had stumbled over from the bar next door and had Riley retching and rolling her eyes with their lines.

“Come on. We’ll pay a cover charge if you let us in,” one lilted at Liam.

The other bit her lip with cartoonish seduction. “I mean we don’t have any cash, but we’ll figure it – ”

“Stop. Oh my
God
, ladies, this isn’t a porno,” Riley snapped before rapping with impatience on the door. “Max! A.J! Someone save us, please!”

“Is that your girlfriend?” one of the girls snorted. Liam only smirked in response before waving at Max, who finally noticed us and casually scaled a table to quickly get to the door. The other girl spoke up.

“Not her. If anything, it would be the pretty one.”

“Hey!” Riley and I both turned defensively, causing the girls to giggle and run off as Max finally opened the door for us. But the damage was already done.

“That was so fucking annoying just now,” Riley grumbled, making a beeline for a bottle of vodka. Drinking straight from it, she cut her eyes across the room at Liam, who had been promptly pulled away by the guys. “This dickhead. Why didn’t he say anything?”

“Liam? What would you want him to say?” I asked with confusion.

“He should’ve defended me in front of those little bitches.”

“We barely had time, and it wasn’t enough of a thing. They’re drunk college girls. What’s the big deal?”

“You’re not the one who just got called ugly,” Riley argued.

“They were not calling you ugly.”

“Calling you ‘the pretty one’ is calling me ugly. And considering they were saying all this just to get Liam’s attention, he should’ve spoken up and defended me, because he sure as shit would have done that for you. But whatever, if you say I’m wrong then sure, I’m wrong.”

“Riley…” Drawing in a deep breath, I tried not to audibly sigh because I had a feeling the sound alone would set her off completely. “Let’s just go have fun with our friends and not let two wasted twenty-year-olds ruin our night, okay? Come on. Come with me to go say hi to everyone. I’ll introduce you to Dwyer, alright?”

After shots with Riley, I was able to coax her toward the bar, where most everyone was. Thanks to the tag team of A.J and Dwyer, Liam had pounded two bourbons and done multiple shots in the time Riley and I were gone. My eyes fluttered. I had never seen Liam truly drunk, but right now, he was at least fairly tipsy. His hard body was slack as he leaned against the bar and his eyelids were heavier than usual. As I introduced Riley to Dwyer, I flashed Liam a warning look, because his gaze was lingering on me with a heaviness I could feel on my skin.

“That look does nothing to turn me off,” he murmured, his voice low as Riley let Dwyer talk her into more shots. I removed Liam’s hand from the small of my back. Panic jumbled my thoughts and I was low on time, so I decided to hit him with the facts.

“She thought something was off at the house, she noticed the towel thing, and she’s mad that you didn’t defend her when those girls called me the pretty one,” I muttered under my breath hastily, keeping my eyes glued to my sister. “So please don’t get so close. You’re making me nervous and it’s torturing me.”

“You’re the one torturing me in those fucking boots.” The gravel in Liam’s voice made my thighs twitch. “Those are the ones, aren’t they?”

From Christmas. Two years ago. “Yes,” I said flatly. I probably shouldn’t have worn the boots. It was the first time since that night in the hot tub that I’d even put them on. But with Ethan out of my life, I was free and eager to wear them again. Of course, I should’ve guessed they’d turn Liam into an animal. My skin tingled as he moved closer to me. His hair was unruly and bourbon seeped from his skin. Still, his presence electrified me.

“You have no idea how many times I fantasized about fucking you in those boots.”

Heat rushed up my legs. It settled into a deep throb in my sex, but I refused to respond. Instead I fixed my attention on Riley, relieved that Dwyer had her easily distracted with his sharp tongue. Though I stayed outwardly casual, I kept a tight watch on them, livid with Liam yet completely turned on as he murmured in my ear all the dirty things I used to wonder about.

“It took everything in me that night, Sash. I had to physically fucking stop myself from getting in the shower with you,” he murmured behind me, his whiskey breath hot on my neck. “You had me hard as a motherfucker that night.”

I flashed a look over my shoulder. “Liam.”

“She’s gone, Sash.”

I watched as Dwyer waltzed Riley into the kitchen for some reason or another. Tense, my eyes scanned the room as Liam pulled me back against his lap. He rumbled deep from his chest as he pressed my ass to his cock. My mouth parted because he wasn’t lying about being hard.
Fucking hell, Liam
. I was still pissed at him but I wished I could just pull him into one of the bathrooms. I wished I could let him just fuck his frustration out. I needed the release as badly as he did. Feeling temptation sweep through me, I tried reminding myself I was angry with him.

“You were a dick tonight. You can’t be that careless around Riley.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.”

I stood to face him. “Seriously, Liam. Back at the house – why did you do that?”

“I don’t know, Sasha,” he said with a frustration I’d never seen on him before. “I just wish I could fucking kiss you right now. That’s it.” Liam’s eyes were glassy as he raked them over my body and across my lips. “The guys are here with their wives, their girlfriends. I wish I could be too. I wish I could show you off. Every second I’m out with you, Sash, I’m fighting myself. I’m putting every muscle to work because my instinct is to touch you and hold you and show everyone that you’re mine.” With a sneer, Liam drew his hand over his jaw and growled. “Fuck it,” he finally said.

“I’m sorry,” I exhaled, softening at his look of sheer defeat. Practically two hundred pounds of pure muscle and Liam was made weak by the fact that he couldn’t touch or hold me whenever he wanted to. Cupping his jaw, I peeked over my shoulder and leaned in to quickly kiss him on the cheek. “But I’m yours, Liam. If you know that, no one else needs to,” I murmured, pulling back to see a ghost of a smile on his lips.

“Fine.”

And just as I took the seat next to him, I heard the kitchen doors burst open.

“God, I love this guy!” Riley squealed, wearing Dwyer like a six-foot sweater around her shoulders.

“Listen, Liam. Sasha. I’m gonna marry your sister,” Dwyer told us seriously, hobbling over. “I’m gonna take her arse back home with me. I’m gonna give up the boxing and we’re gonna retire on a feckin’ goat farm.”

“Beautiful,” I laughed. “I’m so happy for you guys.”

“Whoa, hold up. Did someone say something about fucking goats?”

“That wasn’t the context, A.J, don’t get excited.”

“Hey.” A.J jabbed a drunken finger at his brother, Tony. “You are welcome to make goat-fucking jokes when I’m single, but don’t you call me a goat fucker in front of my lady, alright?” He put an arm around Aria and whispered loudly. “I swear to God, baby. That’s a thing of the past.”

We collectively groaned at the joke. Aria pretended to retch. “And there goes the honeymoon period,” she sighed. I caught her eye, grinning at her for making it official in front of everyone, even if it was in a vulgar, classically A.J kind of way. We shared a giddy little look before Dwyer hushed everyone and raised his glass.

“Lads. And ladies. Let us all toast to the fact that A.J Rutkowski managed to find himself a nice girl. We all know Aria’ll probably come to her senses in a few months and leave him for an honorable man – maybe a doctor or a lawyer. Someone with a real family instead of a pack of twisted degenerates – ” The guys booed and cheered him at the same time. “But for now –
slainte!
”

With a burst of applause, we did just that.

“And one more toast me and my new wife, Rachel,” Dwyer said.

“Riley!” Riley and I corrected, cracking up as we all took another drink. I let out a breath, thanking God that the mood had finally lightened. But then Dwyer refilled his glass and raised it toward Liam and me.

“And while we’re at it, another one for these two lovebirds right here,” he slurred.

I froze like a block of ice. My stomach lurched as half the guys cheered drunkenly while the other half fell quiet, eyeing each other in silent question.
Fucking Dwyer.
I watched as Riley’s eyes went from him to me.
My heart slammed in my chest as I waited for someone, anyone to say something. Finally, Max let out a laugh.

“Alright, we’re cutting you off, Dwyer. That’s a little weird.”

“Well, you’re talking to the guy from the goat-fucking farm,” A.J chimed in. “That kind of thing’s not weird for him at all.”

Dwyer frowned in confusion at the guys teaming up on him. I braced myself for him to hit back and argue till my cover was sufficiently blown. Instead, his brows pinched as he blinked. I could see the poor guy questioning his own brain before finally shrugging.

“I’m shitfaced. One more whiskey and I’ll be kissing A.J.”

Everyone laughed, including Riley. Forcing a grin onto my lips, I watched her, trying desperately to read her. My pulse spiked for a second when she caught my eye and held my stare, but in a second, she was back to shrieking with laughter, fantasizing with Dwyer about their married life on a goat farm.

“Don’t mind me, just having a heart attack here,” Aria came over to whisper in my ear.

I exhaled. “Tell me about it.”

“Bright side is we’re all a couple rounds away from not remembering this night.” Aria held up her glass. “Here’s to alcohol poisoning, right?”

“Totally.”

“By the way, tell Liam to stop undressing you with his eyes. I know to look for it, but eventually, Riley’s gonna notice too.”

“Noted. Thank you.” Trying to relax, I gave her a grin. “By the way, Aria Rutkowski sounds nice.”

“Let’s be real, it does not. Sasha Cage, however…” she smirked as I shook my head at her. “Can you imagine the fuckery that would be our weddings?”

I bit back a dorky grin. I was drunk, so I let myself entertain the fantasy. “It would be this madness times a hundred,” I said as I leaned back into Aria’s hug, both of us gazing out at our boys and their general ridiculousness. We snorted as A.J officiated an arm-wrestling match at the bar, which ended with Max pounding Dwyer’s hand down so hard their shot glasses fell over.

“You got this, baby!” Aria cheered as Max and A.J then went at it for a solid minute before Dwyer slapped Max’s ass to cost him the win.

With Liam and A.J up in the final round, I chewed my lip, wishing I could openly root for my man the way Aria was. It actually hurt to hold back the drunken love and pride bursting for him in my chest as I watched Liam dominate the whole three minutes, his bicep flexing desperately against his sleeve, the outline of his muscled lats showing under his shirt. The view sparked the visible lust of even the married girls in the room, and it had me absolutely dying with the need to just jump on Liam’s powerful body and proudly claim him as mine.

When he finally slammed A.J’s hand onto the bar, I burst off my chair to cheer. A victory snarl ripped from his lips before he turned his gleaming eyes to me and grinned. Surrounded by our raucous friends, I tried to convey the millions of emotions I felt for him in with just my eyes, but before I knew it, he was flanked by the single girls in the room, the three of them sidling up, flirting and helping themselves to long strokes of his muscle. Once again, Aria pretended to retch.

“The single ones always turn this place into a petting zoo after enough booze,” she snorted, watching with me as Liam graciously removed one of the girls’ hands as she tried to give him a massage. “Good lord. Even I kind of hate watching this. I don’t know how you do it, girl,” she murmured just before A.J whisked her off somewhere.