Wyne and Dine (Citizen Soldier Series Book 1) (19 page)

“Yes. I sent a few out on Monday.”
After her sister had reassured her she’d be home by November should the doctors
not give their father permission to go back to work. “There hasn’t been
anything in the classifieds this week.”

“You can always apply in Houston…”
Her friend’s voice was hopeful as it trailed off.

“True.” She smiled. “But I’d like
to give the Big Apple a try first.”

“Okay. Just keep it in mind,”
Brandi said before she hung up.

It was tough to keep anything in
mind but Ben these days. Darn man occupied way too many of the brain cells he
so easily destroyed when given the chance.

After three incredible nights at
the lodge last weekend, she’d been forced back to reality by work. His. Hers.
Gwen’s. Her sister had left Sunday evening, but not before
she
also
reminded Lea to send out her resumes.

Applying for a job had been more of
an issue than she had imagined, and Lea knew, deep down, it wasn’t solely due
to her concern over her dad. It was Ben. The reality of her feelings for Ben
hit her the moment she’d hit the Send button.

Finally, after all these years, she
was having a…
something
with the man, something wonderful, and she didn’t
want it to end. Each time she saw him, it was becoming increasingly clear to
her. Whatever was going on between them was much more to her than having fun,
and now she wasn’t sure what to do. She couldn’t tell him. He’d freak out and
end their
fun
before she could blink. No. Those thoughts were better
kept to herself, so she could enjoy him right up until she left…and beyond.

If he’d been lenient with his
dating routine with Charisse and the woman’s out-of-town work schedule when he
had been seeing the blonde, surely he’d consider still seeing Lea when she
moved to New York. Their
fun
shouldn’t have to end just because she
wouldn’t live in the Poconos seven days a week. There were daily buses to and
from the city, eliminating the aggravation of driving, and then there were the
weekends he didn’t have drill.

Maybe they could still see each
other occasionally. 

But even as her mind came up with
these more than reasonable ideas, she knew they wouldn’t cut it with Ben. He
hated New York City. Plain and simple. Hated it. He understood her desire to
work there, but would never visit. He hadn’t stepped foot in the city since a
few months after the towers fell.

He’d lost a good friend that day.

She could still remember waiting
with Ben at the bus station. Waiting for his friend to return. After a few
days, there were two cars. Two that sat unclaimed. Because their owners hadn’t
made it.

Ben had been one of the volunteers
to help out afterwards. He’d been gone only one week, but he’d come back a
changed man. He’d already been somewhat closed off, but after volunteering, it
was as if a switch had been flipped or a wire had been cut that accessed
emotions.

That was over a decade ago, and Ben
was just now starting to show signs of life.

He was also starting to show signs
of being late. He was due to pick her up ten minutes ago to spend the day on
the lake. When the phone rang, she knew it was him without even looking. It
wasn’t like Ben to be late. She just hoped he was okay.

“Hi, Lea,” he said, that low, sexy
voice of his never failed to receive a tremor of applause from her body. “As
you already know, I’m running late. Sorry. I was helping Ethan inventory the
supplies at the lodge when one of the guests went into labor while on the
lake.”

From anyone else, she would’ve
considered his explanation as an excuse. But this was Ben. He didn’t lie. And
she’d been around the lodge and seen firsthand how some off the wall things
could happen.

“No problem. Is the guest okay?”

“Yes. Scott arrived, and she’s now
on the way to the hospital.” The relief in his voice was audible. “Anyhow, just
wanted to let you know why I wasn’t there yet.”

“Thanks. That’s sweet,” she said.
“Do you want me to drive out? This way you could finish your inventory?”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not. I know how hard it
is to keep up with two jobs. How about if I leave here in an hour?”

“Okay. Thanks.” His voice sounded a
little strange as he hung up.

Could she dare to hope that
mentioning two jobs had made him think about her leaving?  Could he actually be
a little upset at the thought?

I
t was the third week
in October, and Ben was out behind his cabin, stacking the wood he’d cut
earlier that day, getting it ready for the wood burning season that was upon
them. He wasn’t sure what had happened to September. That month had flown by,
and now, three quarters of October was already gone.

Time flies when you’re having
fun…

The old adage shot through his
mind, and a small smile tugged his lips. He’d certainly been having that. Lots
of fun, although, he did limit himself to only seeing Lea once or twice a week,
and since Brandi’s wedding, he hadn’t spent the full night with her again.
Always keeping it to a few fun hours at his section at the lodge, or in her basement…or
her office at the restaurant.

His smile broadened on that one.
That lunch had been unexpected, and the sex hadn’t been planned, either, but as
always the case whenever he was around the woman, he couldn’t help himself. He
had to kiss her, which always led to more.

But he was working on that, by
keeping away from her whenever possible. Limiting himself to those one or two
rendezvous a week. Of course, his body wanted to rendezvous daily, more than
once a day. That was why he disciplined himself to stay away. Keep occupied.

Like cutting and stacking wood.

His gaze shot to the hundreds of
spliced pine lined up and stacked in a neat pile, waiting for his brothers to
come and take over to the lodge. Yep. Lots of discipline. Hence his stacking
today. It was a Saturday, and he and Lea both had the day off. He also knew for
a fact she didn’t have work at the museum tomorrow, since last Sunday had been
her once a month day. And that’s why he was avoiding her today. Because he’d
give into his desire to stay the whole night with her again, like he’d done
last month, during the weekend Brandi had gotten married.

Ben never fell asleep with the
women he had sex with, but he’d done it continually with Lea. Not good. She was
leaving as soon as she landed a job, and he knew she had several resumes out
there. Resume he’d pushed her to send. He didn’t want her to get too attached,
because he had no intentions of continuing their
fun
once she started
working in the city.

What would be the point? They
didn’t have a relationship. Just sex, and okay,
friend
ship, but not a
relationship. Her life would be centered in the city. And that was a good thing
for her, but he wanted no part of the city, so once she started working there,
he could no longer have any part of her. And since that was in her very near
future, it was best to keep things as they were. Sex, but no falling to sleep
together. No spending the whole night.

Best thing for him to do when he
felt the need to see Lea, outside of their appointed time, was to get physical—by
introducing an ax to firewood.

Grabbing the next piece to be
split, he pushed Lea out of his mind and swung the ax, sending the blade into
the wood. He lifted the ax with the wood attached and slammed the log into the
stump, splitting the wood in two.

Keiffer walked into the back yard
with Mason. “Hey, bro.”

“Of course you’d show up now that
I’m almost done.”

His youngest brother stopped dead
and whistled at the large pile. “Paul Bunyon called. He wants his ax back. And
Babe. You been messing with Babe? Oh, no. That’s right. The only babe you’re
messing with is Lea.”

Ben straightened and glared. “You
really think it’s wise to be an ass while I have an ax in my hand?”

“He’s got a point,” Mason said with
a smirk. “I’d listen, Keif.”

“Fine. We just came for the wood
you told us to take for the lodge.”

“There it is. Have at it.”

“All of that?”

“Of course all of it.” Mason shook
his head. “He’s sexually frustrated and needs to make room so he can cut more
wood.”

“Now who’s the idiot egging on the
man with the ax?” Keiffer asked before Ben could respond. “At least all I was
doing was pointing out he has feelings for Lea that go beyond the bedroom.”

Ben reeled back. “Bullshit. I do
not.” He swung the ax, driving the blade into the stump to leave it there until
later when he needed to take out his frustration…
shit
. No. Not his
frustration; he wasn’t frustrated, except maybe with his siblings.

“That was a pretty quick denial,”
Keiffer pointed out.

“True, Ben, it was,” Mason agreed.
“And you know what that means.”

That they wanted their heads
knocked together.

Keiffer nodded. “He definitely has
feelings for Lea.”

Ah, hell.

“Exactly.”

“You two need to can it.” He glared
again.

“So, you really don’t care for
her?”

“No,” he replied, scooping up the
wood he’d just split.

 It was one word. A little word,
and it was out of his mouth without much work. But it felt wrong. And Ben knew
why.

Because he didn’t lie.

And that word felt like the biggest
damn lie he could ever tell.

But it was said, and he wasn’t
going to retract it, he decided as he stacked the wood at the end of the pile.

“Then you won’t be upset to hear
she landed a job from one of those interviews last week, and left for New York
this morning?” Keiffer asked.

“What?”
Shit
. “She left
already?” He whirled around to face his brother in time to see a sly smile on
the guy’s soon to be bloodied face. “Very funny.”

“It was, actually. You should’ve
seen your face when you thought she’d left without saying good-bye.”

“It was kind of comical. And
telling,” Mason added, wise enough to back up and keep plenty of space between
them.

“Speaking of telling,” Keiffer
continued, apparently happy to live on the edge. “You should think about
telling her how you feel, Ben. Ask her to stay. Or make plans to commute.
Whatever floats your boat.”

“There’s no need to ask because I
don’t
feel
anything.”

“Except sexually frustrated,” Mason
supplied.

“Yeah, there’s that.” Keif nodded
toward the split wood. “And there’s the proof, so don’t even try to deny it,
Ben.”

His jaw cracked from his clenched
teeth that were having a contest with his fists to see which could clench the
tightest.

“I don’t see what the big deal is
anyway. So you have feelings for Lea. That’s a good thing. She’s a good person.
You know she wouldn’t screw you over.”

His jaw was winning.

“He’s right, Ben.”

Ah hell, not Mason, too
. If
any of his brothers would’ve been on his side, the one where you boycott
relationships, he would’ve thought it was the brother who’d been dump on his
wedding day. Yes, that’s the person Ben would’ve expected in his corner.

But no. Mason was staring all
serious, singing Lea’s praises.

The thing was, he knew she was a
good person. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was the relationship.

He didn’t want one.

With anyone.

“You’re both missing the point. I’m
not interested. So can it.”

“The point is New York City. You
hate it. And because she loves the city and wants to work there, you’re going
to hold it against her. And dump her.”

“Yeah, you’re willing to let her go
live there when you know damn well you’re going to be miserable here.”

“Yep, that’s it exactly. You have
me pegged.” He decided to appease them so they’d let him alone. “Now, can we
please get to loading up this wood?”

Ben knew his brothers meant well,
but they were way off. He didn’t have feelings for Lea. Other than sexually.

“No.” Keiffer shook his head. “It’s
not healthy. You need to admit your feelings, bro.”

“For the last time, I do not have
feelings for Lea!”

An audible gasp had the three of
them turning to see Lea standing behind them, mouth open, face pale, arms full
of white take-out bags, and from the aroma, his nose detected bacon.

A
h, hell.
Ben’s
stomach clenched tight, then twisted at the pain he saw her trying to blink
from her over-bright gaze.

“Sorry.” She set the bags on his
picnic table then cleared her throat. “There were some specials left over from
breakfast. I just thought I’d bring them here so they didn’t go to waste.” Then
she turned and walked back around the house.

Shit
.

He glared at his brothers before
rushing after the woman. “Lea. Lea, wait up. Would you wait?” he asked, cutting
in front of her to lean against her car so she couldn’t leave. “I’m sorry. I
didn’t—”

“Don’t,” she said, placing a finger
to his mouth, cutting off his words. “Just don’t. If you try to explain, you’ll
lie to me, and you don’t like to lie, Ben.”

Christ
. He was the one who
hurt her, and here she was worried about him.

“And I don’t want to be lied to,
either.” She removed her hand and smiled. “It’s okay. It’s my fault. I forgot.
Got mixed up. The lines got blurred a little in my head. We’re friends, and we
have sex. That’s all.”

He blew out a breath and ran a hand
over his head. “Look, I’m sorry, Lea. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know.” She squeezed his arm.
“You’ve always been upfront. You told me from the start, it’s just sex. An
added bonus to our friendship. I remember now. We’re good.”

He stared at her. Her face was no
longer pale, but her gaze wasn’t quite full of life. It was more guarded, not
open, just…friendly.

Something rippled through his gut.

She was just giving him friendly.

“You should eat that breakfast
while it’s still warm,” she told him.

Now that she was here, he didn’t
want her to go. “Why don’t you stay and eat it with me.”

She smiled, but it didn’t fully
reach her eyes, and he was staggered to discover how much he missed the warmth.

“Sorry. I can’t. I have to get back
to the restaurant. Mary called off sick. I just stopped by on break.”

The woman was always thinking of
others.

“I-I was also stopping by to tell
you I got a job.”

His chest tightened.
Damn
.
He thought Keiffer had been kidding. “In a museum?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “In New York
City.”

“That’s terrific. Congratulations.
Just what you wanted.” He pulled her in for a hug, and hoped he sounded
sincere, because for some reason, he didn’t feel too good.

“Thanks.” She hugged him back. “I
start next Monday. I can hardly believe it.”

That
was what had been
missing, that life, that light, it was back in her voice, and he drew back in
hopes he’d catch a glimpse of it in her eyes. “I’m happy for you,” he said, and
meant it.

If working in that damn city could
put the sparkle back in her eyes, then he was glad she’d gotten the job,
because she should always have that sparkle. And looking into her eyes, he was
drawn in, again, and filled with that strong need to touch her and be with her.

And that shook him.

Now, more than ever, he needed to
distance himself. She was leaving next Monday. In nine days.
Shit
.
Probably sooner. His chest was tight again, so tight it hurt to breathe. He
cleared his throat. “When do you leave?”

She released him to lean back
against her car. “Not until next Saturday. I don’t need to look for a place to
stay. Gwen said I could stay in her penthouse.” Lea laughed. “It’s ironic. I’m
moving to New York, and my sister is moving back to the Poconos.”

Yeah. Ironic.

The ball of anxiety increased in
his chest. He didn’t want her to go to the city. She might get hurt there. Who
would protect her?

Who had protected Gwen?
No one,
and she was just fine
, the voice in his head reminded. But there were
others who used to work in the city, and they weren’t fine.

The increasing pressure in his
chest was causing a dull ache behind his eyes. He knew he should say something
to Lea, but he couldn’t figure out what.

“Well, I’d better get back to the
restaurant.” She straightened from the car and stared at him.

When he realized he was still
blocking her door, he moved, but not before he placed a hand on her arm. “Are
we good?”

She smiled, and all was right with
the world because it reached her eyes. The warmth surrounded him and chased
away the invading chill.

“Yes, we’re good.”

“Can you come back here later
tonight? Maybe get your brother or sister to stay with your dad?”

She blinked, eyes wide. Yeah, he
couldn’t blame her. He’d never asked her to spend time at his cabin. Just the
resort. But, he couldn’t explain it. He needed her here. Needed to have a
memory or two of her here, before they were done making memories…

“Ah, yeah. Gwen’s on her way in
now. She’s been coming in almost every weekend.” Her gaze was still
disbelieving, and it gave her an impish quality. “I’ll bring us leftovers from
the restaurant to eat, if that’s okay.”

Without giving it much thought, he
pulled her close and kissed the tip of her nose. “Perfect. Does six work for
you?”

Her hands crept up around his
shoulders as she tipped her head back and smiled. “Trust me, Ben, you’re
packing more than six inches.”

He barked out a laugh that relieved
some of his mounting pressure, then he cupped her ass and ground against her.
“How does six o’clock sound for my more than six inches?”

“Perfect,” she repeated his earlier
reply.

Her breath was hitched as he
captured her lips for a hot kiss he hoped would hold them both over until
later. She tasted of coffee and pumpkin spice, and hot. Her fingers brushed the
back of his neck, and his body tingled to life. And wanted more. Now. So he
broke the kiss and set his forehead to hers. “You’re damned addicting.” His
breathing was ragged as he tried to rein in his rampant desire.

“Ditto.”

By the time she backed out of his
driveway, he was already counting down the hours until she returned.

A
few hours later, Lea
refilled the napkins in the holders on the tables at restaurant. There was a
lull in the rush. Mr. Tierney and old man Simpson sat at the counter discussing
the recent World Series. More like arguing, but that was how they discussed.
Three other tables were occupied, but they were all served and almost finished
eating. Her gaze kept drifting to the clock on the wall. Three forty-seven. Was
it broke? Darn hour hand didn’t seem to be moving. She wanted it to be five
o’clock so she could leave to get ready to head to Ben’s.

A smile tugged her lips as she
carried the extra napkins back into the supply room. She still couldn’t believe
he’d asked her to come to his house. His
home
. This was huge, but she
knew not to make a big deal out of it or it would be a short visit.

She also knew it wasn’t nice to
eavesdrop, although, technically that wasn’t what had happened this morning.
Her presence had gone undetected by the three brothers as she’d rounded the
corner of Ben’s cabin. Lea had been about to greet them when Keiffer told Ben
to tell her how he felt. Her heart had shot to her throat at the thought of him
actually feeling more for her than lust. And if he was talking to his brothers
about her, then he must care.

But, then he’d opened his mouth and
stopped her in her tracks.

For the last time, I do not have
feelings for Lea!

The unexpected remark, coupled with
the unexpected vehemence in his tone had crushed her heart, which then dropped
to sink in her stomach. That’s when she knew. That was when Lea realized and
acknowledged what she always knew…she was in love with Benjamin Wyne. The
debilitating pain of feeling as if someone had reached in and ripped out her
heart was the confirmation. For a second, she had been incapacitated. To hear
the man she loved loudly state he had no feelings for her had sucked.

Even now, her stomach turned just
thinking about it. 

But her saving grace from being
completely and totally devastated had been the look of deep remorse that had
darkened his eyes when he’d seen her standing there. If the man didn’t have
feelings for her, he would not have given a rat’s ass about her overhearing his
remark, therefore, he would not have any need for remorse.

Those thoughts had given her the
strength to walk to her car, then to hold her head high when Ben had followed
and tried to explain.
Again
, not the actions of a man who had no
feelings for her.

Still, the sting did remain. She
knew he didn’t
want
to feel anything for her, but he was fooling himself
if he didn’t realize he already had them. Those unrealized feelings were the
reason she’d agreed to see him tonight. They had one week left. Correction.
She
had one week left. One week to help the emotionally challenged man realize
she meant more to him than just good sex.

She was back at the counter,
checking out the last customer when two very good-looking Wyne brothers entered
the restaurant, dark gazes full of regret.

“Lea, can we talk?”

“Sure.” Her heart suddenly rocked.
“Is something wrong? Is Ben okay?” Did he change his mind about tonight and
send his brothers to call it off?

“Ben’s fine,” Keiffer rushed to
reassure, and she felt lightheaded with relief. “But we aren’t.”

Mason nodded, coming closer. “We
feel really bad about this morning.”

“Yeah.” The younger Wyne eyed her
anxiously. “We wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“And to tell you not to pay any
mind to what Ben said. The idiot actually cares about you. He’s just too stupid
to realize it.”

God, she hoped so. She was counting
on that.

“Yes, our dimwitted brother is too
busy controlling his feelings and bottling them up to even know he has them.”

“I know.”

“Then you know he cares about you?”

She sighed. “Yeah, just probably
not as much as I care for him.”

There, she said it out loud. Funny,
it didn’t make her feel any better.

“I wouldn’t be too sure.” Mason
grinned. “Ben is happier when he’s with you.”

“Hell ya,” Keiffer exclaimed.
“You’re the only one who can make him smile, a genuine smile that reaches his
eyes. And he’s less sharp when you’re around, too. Not so grumpy.”

They were sweet, trying to make her
feel better, trying to point out her affect on Ben. But in truth, it was probably
the age old feel good antidote.

Sex.

Yep, sex could also be the reason
the man was happier with her, the reason he smiled a genuine smile, and wasn’t
so grumpy. Yeah, because she helped him relieve stress. With sex.

“And then there’s the fact he’s
asked you to go to his cabin. He never has women at his cabin, Lea,” Keiffer
pointed out.

“I know.” She had to admit, she was
a little surprised Ben even told his brothers about her upcoming visit.

“Then you also know it’s a big
deal,” Mason said.

She nodded, trying not to get those
hopes up again.

“Just don’t say anything,” Keiffer
advised. “Or my dumb brother will clam up tight.”

She smiled. “I know that, too.”

The younger brother laughed. “I
keep forgetting you grew up with him. You know him as well as we do, well,
okay, maybe more now, which is cool for you but—”

“Keiffer, shut up,” Mason said,
shaking his head.

“Shutting up now.”

“Thanks, guys.” She smiled at them
both. “I appreciate your concern. I’m okay. Just taking it one day at a time.
Not poking the bear too much at once.”

Mason nodded. “Smart.”

“And patient. I sure as hell
couldn’t put up with the lot of us,” Keiffer said, then cocked his head as if
he’d just remembered something. “Hey, I almost forgot. Congratulations on the
job.” He pulled her in for a hug. “I’m going to miss you around here.”

“Yeah, congratulations, Lea.” Mason
gave her a hug when his brother released her. “Gabe’s won’t be the same without
you.”

“Thanks, guys.” She fought back
tears, having always known leaving her friends and family would be hard. “I’ll
be back on the weekends and stuff, so I’m sure we’ll bump into each other.”

The guys stayed for pie and coffee,
and when they were gone, Lea had less than thirty-two minutes to kill before
she would leave to get ready to meet Ben.

B
en got out of the
shower and dried off, his thoughts on nothing but Lea since she’d backed out of
his driveway that morning.

She was leaving.

Moving to New York City.

No more rendezvous after this week.

You could go see her…

No, he couldn’t, and wouldn’t.
September 2001 he vowed never to set foot in that damn city ever again, and he
wasn’t about to break that vow. Not even for Lea.

He rubbed at his chest, still
unbearably tight. Their time was coming to an end. He had to face it, and admit
he was going to miss the incredible woman. Miss that cute little laugh that
fluttered its way through him, making him smile. And her smile, he was going to
definitely miss the way she smiled with her whole heart in her eyes, and the
way it always made him feel alive.
Damn, yeah
, he was going to miss
that, and her laugh and her sighs, the hitched ones, her breathy-little pants
that turned into long, drawn out moans as she came.

A knock sounded on the door.

Ah hell.

He was too hard to wear jeans, and
too hard to wear sweatpants. He either painfully covered his condition or
prominently showed off his condition.

Dropping the towel, he glanced at
his alarm clock. Quarter to six. Since he wasn’t sure if it was Lea, he
carefully slipped into his wranglers, leaving his top button undone, and rushed
to answer the door.