Wynter's Horizon (25 page)

Quinn caught me before I toppled over. “Hey there, love, steady now.” I
rubbed my ankle and tilted my head slightly toward Julia, breathing in deep to slow my pulse. Quinn glanced at Julia who kept looking between us and the door.

“He works out a lot.” Quinn explained.

“Seriously?” She rolled her eyes at him.

“Absolutely” He nodded his head surveying us both. “You girls look great.” He grinned and Julia smiled back, her face relaxing. I could tell she had questions but thankfully she let it go.

Beck came back through the door alone.

“Did you throw him off?” I asked. I flexed my foot trying out my ankle. It seemed okay. He glanced at Julia, who was now engrossed in trading barbs with Quinn.

“No,” he answered and then, more adamantly, his voice tinged with horror as if shocked by my question, “of course not.” He winked at me.

“That’s not nice,” I scolded.

He widened his eyes in fake surprise. “What’s not nice?”

“Whatever you’re thinking. I can see it in your smile.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Besides, whatever I did or didn’t do, I’m sure he deserved it.”

“Yes.” Then, sounding ridiculously like my mom, I added, “but two wrongs don’t make it right.” Beck looked at Quinn and Julia in disbelief as we headed toward the stairs.

“I know. Her logic is a little screwy sometimes,” Julia commented. Beck didn’t reply, just shook his head again.

“You girls want to round up your posse and get some food?” Quinn asked as we reached the bottom of the stairs. Julia nodded in reply, taking my arm and directing us toward Hailey and Sophie on the dance floor.

When we got a few feet away from Beck and Quinn, she leaned over to me and whispered, “He’s like your knight in shining armor.” I laughed loudly, embarrassed. I peeked back, but Beck was wrapped in a conversation with Annie, who had pounced on him as soon as we left the stairs. Hopefully he didn’t hear.

Chapter Forty-Eight

Beck—Hiding

I lingered behind as the girls climbed out at the diner, laughing and talking among themselves. Apparently, Hailey had a run in with the guy she liked and was recounting the story in vast detail. I couldn’t keep track, though. My attention stayed riveted on Wynter, who looked absolutely beautiful in that dress. It shimmered, giving her a glow, and her shoes, barely made up of anything but the skinny heels and some straps, only accentuated her legs all the more. In the Jeep, I couldn’t help staring at how the ends of the dress fell around her on the seat, her legs shiny, silky, and stretching forever. I kept picturing them wrapped around me. It had taken considerable effort not to drive the car off the road.

I hadn’t allowed myself to feel anything more than friendship since the weekend in the woods and her discovery of what I was. I felt lucky she had come back to me at all. I told myself I was content to spend time with her, to smell her scent on my clothes after she left, to spend our nights hanging out. I had embarked on a pursuit of her under false reasons, looking for answers, looking for our connection. Then my interest had morphed into something far greater. But our differences hadn’t changed. I had to be satisfied with less. Yet, watching her walk into the diner, knowing that in a few days things would change, I wanted to grab her and press her lithe body into mine, , run my hand up under those swirling layers and meld my lips to hers.

I thought of what Julia had said about my being her knight and almost laughed aloud. I wondered if all knights had a desire to violate their damsels as I did.

Quinn waited for me. “Everything okay?” He eyed me suspiciously.

“Absolutely,” I lied, grabbing the door from him.

“Tenacious little bastard, isn’t he? He looked fairly surprised, though.”

“Bloody hell. Don’t get me started. I
wanted
to throw him off. And that’s the nice version.” He laughed in answer, pulling up a chair next to Julia.

The girls were in rare form, recounting the past four years as they devoured plates of eggs and home fries. Wynter kept glancing at me; each time it was like a tiny bolt of lightning. I felt guilty and selfish, sitting at the table enjoying their company, insanely attracted to someone I couldn’t have. But, for the first time in a while, I felt alive. Being around Wynter and her friends filled me and made me hope.

Wynter invited me up when we got back. I followed her wordlessly, waiting on her bed as she scooped up her clothes and exited to the bathroom to change. She returned in cut-off jean shorts and a pink t-shirt.

“You look beautiful.”

She laughed. “Now? In this crummy t-shirt and shorts, you think I look good?”

“Yes. That dress is fantastic, believe me, but I like you this way, natural and casual, just as much.”

She shook her head and deposited herself on the bed next to me, cracking open a Diet Coke. I fought the urge to throw her back on the bed, remembering the last time I had kissed her in this room and her fear.

Instead, I did the next thing that came naturally. I retreated. “I’m going away for a while,” I said, glancing out the window as I spoke the words. My chest felt incredibly tight.

She leaned back, unable to hide her surprise. “What?”

“I’m going away, for business. To London,” I explained. “I’ll be back before the summer’s over,” I lied, making it up as quickly as the words tumbled out of my mouth. I didn’t want to stay and wait for the inevitable change that would happen once she graduated. I was never good at facing uncertainty. Besides, I needed to check in with Baxter face to face, see if I could get any information out of him.

“But you’re coming back?”

“Yes. I’m leaving day after tomorrow, but I’ll only be gone a few weeks.”

“I’ll have graduated by then. I’ll be home on Long Island,” she said tentatively, playing with the tab on her soda can, twisting it back and forth. Here was the opening I needed to exit her life. She got up, moving toward the other side of the small room but staring at me as she did so. The shorts, with their dangling frayed edge, seemed to end right after her ass, leaving just enough to imagination. My desire overrode my concerns and the obvious opportunity presented by her graduation.

“Well, I can come there and visit,” I volunteered. I could see her chest rise and fall in a deep breath.

“Okay. I’ll give you my parents’ address.” She grabbed her phone, typing me an email, I assumed.

“You want to take a walk?” I suggested. I was always better outside, away from the bed that seemed to accentuate the one thing I wanted and simultaneously couldn’t have. She took a swallow of soda and grabbed her flip-flops.

I thought of what I had said to Jason earlier that night, I thought of what I really wanted to say to her before the night passed us by. I stopped in the doorway, almost colliding with her.

“What?” She looked up, her bangs falling over her forehead. She brushed them back, and I ignored the urge to touch her cheek, wondering, if I confessed everything, what her response would be.

“Nothing,” I lied, holding the door open and following her out into the hallway, then outside and down the path. I had no words that would express my feelings or make it okay.

Chapter Forty-Nine

Wynter—The Watson Estate

Graduation went as planned, though the temperature soared to ninety and my dad threatened to watch the ceremony from the air-conditioned car. Afterward, I packed up my room in a haze of goodbyes and well wishes. Annie, Julia, and I visited my old freshman dorm room, splitting a bottle of champagne and carving our names in the doorjamb above where Abby and I had carved our names four years earlier. I stared around that vacant room and realized Julia was right, just as Beck was. Abby and I had both made mistakes. I had been wrong to let Jason pursue me when I knew they were still together, but beating myself up wasn’t going to change anything. I couldn’t go back.

But that didn’t erase the pain. Annie, Julia, and I said a tearful goodbye in the parking lot, even though Julia and I planned to live together in New York City since I was enrolled in graduate school in psychology there and she was going to start medical school. But Annie was going home to Michigan. We promised to visit, but I didn’t know if it would really happen.

I went home to my parent’s house, settling into unpacking and searching for an apartment. I checked my phone constantly, hoping for a call or email from Beck, texting Julia at all times for reassurance, and ultimately annoying my parents, who threatened to stop paying for my phone. The one email he did send just said he would be back in a few weeks. I found myself despairing of ever seeing him again.

***

I said goodnight to Dad and headed up to my room. He barely registered with a mumbled-back “night.” He was watching baseball on the west coast and would be up half the night. My mom had gone to sleep an hour earlier. I got ready for bed, reading a chapter in my book before turning out the light. A minute later, my phone buzzed. I grabbed it, expecting a text from Julia, but I didn’t recognize the number.

Are you up?
I frowned.

Who is this?
I texted back.

Dnt u know?
My heart started racing. I threw open the window, peering into the dark, and nearly toppled out before I saw Beck perched in the pine tree.

He smiled crooked. “Hey, love.”

“What are you doing out here? Are you drunk?”

“No. Just testing out my new fancy phone and this technology you girls are so keen on.” He held up his hand, the screen on his phone glinting in the moonlight.
Keen.
I bet Apple never thought of that word as a selling point.

“When did you get back?”

“I just landed in Kennedy. Can I come in?”

“Of course.”

“Stand back.” He ordered and, swinging lightly, propelled himself through my window and landed on his feet.

“Wow. That’s impressive.” He grinned sheepishly.

I hugged him. He pulled back slightly, and I wondered if I’d crossed a line. I returned to my bed, sitting cross-legged. He followed and perched himself on the side.

“How are you doing?” His raspy voice made my stomach drop and do a roll. I had missed him so much.

“Okay. I was starting to think you were never coming back.” He smiled and pushed some stray hairs away from my mouth.

“Be careful,” I warned, trying very hard to sound strict.

“Why?”

“Oh. Well, we’re breaking cardinal rule number one in this house.”

He looked at me amused. “What rule is that?”

“No boys upstairs in the bedrooms.”

“Oh.” His expression turned to one of mock concern. “Do your parents know what you did in university?”

“Shh. Don’t say that.” I punched his leg. “That’s not nice.”

He laughed and caught my hand in his. “Well, should we leave then? Slip out before you get caught breaking this rule?”

“Slip out?” I mimicked in my best fake accent. “Slipping out with boys is rule number two.”

“
You
better watch it,” he scolded, smiling. “And, I haven’t been a boy in quite some time, so we’re okay on both counts.”

“True. Where are we sneaking off to?”

“Anywhere you like. Coincidentally, I have all night. Let’s go explore.” I hesitated for half a second, then threw a pillow under my covers in case my dad checked on me, even though that was unlikely. Beck exited out the window while I put on a pair of shorts and slipped a bra under my t-shirt. I looked out and saw him below, arms outstretched.

“Jump,” he called. “I’ll catch you.”

I swallowed. “You better.” I dangled my feet out and dropped, fighting a scream. His arms caught me before I hit the ground then set me lightly on my feet.

“Where to? It’s your turf, as they say.”

“I don’t really know. Where do you want to go?”

He stared into the woods and motioned with his head. “What’s there?”

“Lots of trees and an old estate.”

“Let’s go.” We headed for the back. Beck kept us in the shadows as we walked, making sure no one from the house could see us if they glanced out a window. We only lived on one acre, but our house bordered woods and a creek, then the old Watson Estate. The estate used to own all the land but most had been sold off. The manor house still existed on the remaining five acres, but the last owners had moved out years ago. When I was little, I’d tagged along after my brothers as they explored and played war and all sorts of boy things they never included me in. But it’d been years since I’d been out here, especially at night. Beck carried me across the creek and up the hill until we came to the stone wall surrounding the estate. In one leap, we were over. I could see the old stone barn and then, beyond that, the house rose out of the dark; even worn and decrepit, it was still huge and imposing.

“Let’s go in,” Beck said, motioning to the barn.

“Really?” I hesitated, but he pushed the door open. It creaked as it slowly rolled back. It was pitch black inside. It took some time before my eyes adjusted. I finally made out an old tractor, but that was about it. I peered in cautiously, looking for whatever might be living inside.