X: The Hard Knocks Complete Story (31 page)

“Yes, but sometimes, it’s hard because of all the secrets he keeps from me. He rarely opens up about himself, and I’m always left with millions of questions that he refuses to answer. Seeing what I did just now . . . it shakes my faith in our relationship. What in the hell will he be doing behind my back when I’m on the road? Now, I know I’ll worry the entire time.”

“Then, you need to tell him that. Honesty in a relationship is always the best policy. Trust me on that one. It took me and Brock a while to get on the same page, but now that we’re there, things are so much better.”

“That’s easier said than done, Quinn. Xavier doesn’t like talking about his past. He gets angry whenever the subject comes up. He . . .” I hesitate for a moment, but I decide that a little insight into Xavier’s past won’t hurt. “Xavier really had it rough as a kid. The things he’s told me—they break my heart. If he keeps that to himself, what else will he keep from me?”

She’s quiet for a moment and then says, “You need to talk to him, tell him how you feel.”

Tears streak down my face. “What if he refuses to open up and come clean about why he was with that girl?”

She frowns. “If he can’t give you complete honesty, as much as it hurts, it might be time to face the possibility that Xavier isn’t the right man for you.”

My heart squeezes as the reality of her words hit me full force. As much as I don’t want that to happen, I know Quinn has a point. I can’t live my life going through pain like this because Xavier refuses to let me into what’s going on with both his past and present issues.

One thing is clear. Xavier and I need to deal with this issue before it completely tears us apart.

S
itting
at the bar at Larry’s, Bar and Grill is actually a pleasant experience now that Alice is gone. Most of the booths are full, which is great because Quinn can use every spare penny she can come up with to help her finance the wedding.

Since I was here last, Tyler has moved up from fry cook to bartender. Brock misses him in the kitchen, but Tyler has been smiling all evening, and the customers really seem to enjoy him waiting on them.

“You want another drink, Anna?” Tyler asks as he wipes down the counter next to me.

I stare down at the nearly empty glass in front of me, seeing I only have a few good drinks left. “Yes, please. It’s delicious.”

Tyler grins. “I might have to cut you off soon.”

“Why?” I ask, completely confused. “I love this fruity Sex on the Bay.”

“You mean, Sex on the Beach?” My mistake earns a little chuckle from him. “You’re getting lit. You’ve definitely reached your cutoff point. Andy will have my ass if I allow you to get too drunk, sitting out here.”

“Andy won’t care. I’m a paying customer now.” I wave him off and accidentally knock over my glass. I grimace when I see the mess I just made. “Oops. Sorry.”

I attempt to reach for the glass, but Tyler is much quicker to grab it.

He then blots up the spilled liquid. “I think we should hold off on that last drink and maybe try some food.”

I sigh, completely deflated that I’m not getting another drink. “Okay. I’ll take a hamburger.”

“You got it.” Tyler works on punching my order into the computer.

I glance over to Quinn, who is busy flirting with Brock through the window where the orders are sitting, waiting to be picked up by the servers.

They are adorable together, really in love, and if it weren’t for worrying about embarrassing Quinn in front of a roomful of customers, I would call them out for being so darn cute.

Quinn notices me watching the two of them and quirks an eyebrow before she stops beside the bar. “Hey there, cuz. Looks like you’re in a better mood.”

“I am.” I grin and then reach for my glass. My bottom lip pokes out a bit when I realize it’s empty. “There might be something to this drinking thing. I can’t stop smiling.”

She turns to Tyler. “How many have you given her?”

He flings a dish towel over his shoulder and then runs his hand through his thick blond hair. “She just finished her sixth.”

“
Six
? Damn it, Tyler. I said loosen her up a bit, not fuck her up. She won’t be able to walk out of here if you give her any more.”

Tyler defensively holds his hands up. “Hey, that’s only two drinks an hour. I think I’ve paced her pretty well.”

“That’s an acceptable pace for someone who’s used to drinking.” Quinn sighs. “Anna doesn’t drink. Last time I took her out, two drinks had her feeling pretty good.”

“Hey,” I interrupt before a hiccup slips out. “I think I’m doing fine. I only had one little accident when I knocked over that glass.”

Quinn pats my arm. “I know, but you haven’t tried to stand up in a while, and when you do, all the liquor is going to hit you. I want you to sit here for the next thirty minutes while I finish my shift, and then we’ll go home.”

I raise my hand and flick my thumb up. “You got it. I’ll stay right here.”

“Okay.” She snickers and instructs Tyler to watch me and try to sober me up.

A coffee is placed in front of me, and I glance up at Tyler, wearing a frown. “I don’t really like black coffee. Do you have iced coffee?”

He shakes his head and then lays a spoon and four creamers next to my cup. “That’s about the closest you’ll get to sweetened coffee around here.”

I open the creamers and dump them in my cup. “You’re so nice, Tyler.”

A bashful smile spreads across his face as red creeps into his cheeks. “So are you.” He’s quiet for a few moments and then asks, “Are you still seeing Phenomenal X?”

I raise my brow. “You know who he is?”

“Of course I do. I love wrestling. X is a badass in the ring.”

“That he is.” I sigh. “He scares the shit out of most men.”

“That’s why I never dragged up the courage to ask you out once I found out you were seeing him. I knew I would never have a shot.”

I stir my coffee as my mind drifts to when I saw Xavier earlier. “We’re kind of in a fight right now.”

I admitted that a little too easily, and then it hits me that Quinn is probably right about me being drunk. Typically, I wouldn’t have divulged that information.

Tyler braces his hands on the bar across from me. “What about?”

I shrug. “He allowed another woman to kiss him.”

Tyler raises his eyebrows and then shakes his head. “Man, if he’s messing around on you, he’s an idiot.”

The corner of my mouth lifts into a small smile. “Thank you. That’s sweet.”

“It’s true. Any man who has you would be an idiot to mess things up. Not only are you really nice, but you’re also the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.” He sighs and then lays my bill down. “I hate to give you this, but you know Andy would shit a brick if I didn’t make you pay.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind paying.” I reach for the small white paper lying on the bar, but someone reaches over my shoulder and takes it before I can get my fingers on it.

Standing next to me is a broad-shouldered man with brown hair who is covered in tattoos from the neck down. He’s wearing a smile that causes his dark eyes to twinkle. “I got this one.”

“Oh, um…” I hesitate, knowing that situations like this make X to freak out. “Thank you, but I really should pay for that on my own.”

The man slides onto the stool next to me, still holding my bill. “Consider this a welcome-to-the-neighborhood present.”

I raise my eyebrows. “What makes you think I’m new?”

His eyes search my face, like he’s trying to think of an answer to my question. “I’ve never seen you in here before.”

My lips twist. “That’s funny because I used to work here. Surely, you would’ve seen me then if you were a regular.”

He nods and then runs his hand through his mussed hair. The blue shirt he’s wearing catches my eye. On the sleeve of his shirt, there’s some sort of weird symbol that has a scythe, a dollar symbol, and a square on it. The interesting pattern is definitely custom because I can’t imagine anything like that being sold in a store.

“You caught me,” the man admits. “I was looking for an excuse to talk to a pretty lady.”

Heat floods my face, surely making me blush, and I can’t tell if all the liquor or his simple compliment caused it. “That’s very kind of you, but I can’t accept you paying for my stuff. I have a boyfriend.”

“A really big, scary one,” Tyler chimes in from across the bar. “And he’s right behind you.”

My head whips around, and I spot Xavier standing just inside the door. His long hair is damp from a shower, and he’s changed into a fitted T-shirt, a pair of jeans, and boots. He’s no doubt here to find me since I haven’t been back to his house since we fought.

Suddenly, I fear for the man sitting next to me because Xavier gets crazy jealous when it comes to other men speaking to me. I don’t want him to go nutso on this guy who is trying to be nice.

The man, on the other hand, doesn’t appear to be the least bit worried. Matter of fact, he doesn’t even make an attempt to turn around and check out the man whom Tyler has warned him about. Instead, he fishes out his wallet from his back pocket and lays down a one hundred dollar bill.

My pulse pounds beneath my skin as Xavier’s eyes meet mine, and then his gaze flits over to the man next to me. Even from across the room, it’s easy to tell that his body has instantly stiffened. Then, he squares his shoulders and marches in my direction.

“Oh, shit,” Tyler says from behind me. “Mister, you should leave.”

The man shrugs. “I’ll leave when I’m ready, and no one will make me do so otherwise.”

“Your funeral,” Tyler mumbles as he walks to the opposite end of the bar.

Xavier stands in front of me, but his eyes are fixated on the guy while he flexes his fingers in and out. “Let’s go, Anna.”

It’s not a request but a command. After how he treated me today, I’m not ready to let his bossiness slide.

I fold my arms across my chest. “No. Maybe I’m not ready to leave. I told you before, I can handle myself.”

“Yeah, X. She said she’s got it under control,” the man taunts.

I know this isn’t going to go over well.

Xavier’s eyes narrow and his jaw muscle works beneath the skin. “Shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you.”

“Xavier!” I scold him, trying to grab his attention before he does something crazy and ends up in trouble yet again.

“Anna…” he growls my name in a sexy way.

At the moment, I refuse to admit how my body to reacts to him because I’m still mad at him.

“Let’s go.
Now
,” he adds.

The man turns around on the stool, wearing a shit-eating grin, and I want to order him to turn back around if he doesn’t have a death wish, but the man seems to be amused by Xavier’s obvious anger.

“What the fuck are you smiling at?” Xavier barks to the man.

I’m instantly on my wobbly feet to try to stop this argument from getting out of control.

“I will fucking end you right here, right now for fucking with what’s mine.”

I place my hand on Xavier’s chest. “Don’t. Nothing is going on. Let it go.”

“The hell it’s not. I see exactly what’s happening here.”

“Stop,” I plead.

His gaze fixes on me.

“Let. It. Go,” I say my words slowly so that, even in my drunken state, they come out with enough clarity, so he knows that I’m not joking around.

“Anna, this guy…” He trails off, like he’s stopping himself from saying something that he really wants to say. “This fucker needs to be taught a fucking lesson.”

I shake my head. “He doesn’t. You need to control your temper.”

He narrows his eyes, and I can see the tension is not going to go away until I remove him from the situation. That means I need to give in and leave with him.

“Just stop, and I’ll go wherever you want.”

His eyes leave me for a brief moment. He stares down at the man behind me, like he’s debating on whether or not to walk away from the fight that’s brewing. When his gaze meets mine again, he wraps his fingers around my elbow. “Let’s go.”

I stumble a bit, my feet a little numb from all the liquor I just drank, as he begins to lead me outside.

Supporting all my weight with ease, he releases a small growl as we pass through the front door. “You shouldn’t drink without me. If I’m not there, what’s going to stop some motherfucker from drugging you?”

We make it into the cool night air, and I swat his hand off me. “I had everything under control in there. No one in this place is going to hurt me, not with Quinn and Tyler on the lookout. You have to stop trying to save me all the time. This whole possessive thing is becoming a problem. Allow me to live, Xavier!”

His blue eyes narrow. “
Live
? If you call putting yourself in danger living, then excuse me for giving a fuck and for ruining your fun.”

“Nothing was going on in there. If I were in danger, I would have known it,” I fire back, completely angry that he sees me as a silly twit who cannot take care of herself.

“That’s where you’re wrong, beautiful. This cruel world is far worse than you can imagine, and you wouldn’t know real danger if it bit you in the ass.”

His words have a ring of bitterness, and while I might not have experienced the same levels of hell he did, living with my father was no picnic either. I feel like I’ve grown up so much since I left Portland, and I’ve gotten better at detecting danger.

I rake my fingers through my hair and attempt to take a deep breath, but suddenly, I find it difficult to breathe, like I’m being smothered. “Maybe a few days apart will do us some good.” The words leave my mouth before I even realize I’ve said them out loud.

Xavier’s eyes widen, and I’m pretty sure I’ve shocked the hell out of him.

“Anna—”

“No, Xavier. I mean it. All we’ve been doing is fighting. You bite my head off when any man shows me the slightest bit of attention, yet you keep secrets from me all the time and basically tell me that another woman kissing you is none of my business.”

I can’t imagine living without this man, but I won’t be the next woman he grows tired of and tosses to the side. He once told me to demand respect, so that’s what I’m doing.

“It’s not like that, Anna. I told you, she meant nothing to me.”

He’s trying to talk his way out of the situation yet again, but he still hasn’t given me a real answer.

If he really loves me like he says, then he needs to come clean to me about what he was doing with Angie. We need to work this out before I leave for
Tension
. If I don’t know the truth, my mind will run wild about what he’s doing.

I fold my arms across my chest. “Then, tell me what she is to you.”

“I explained that to you.”

“No, you didn’t. You’ve refused to tell me why you were with her,” I snap.

He blows a rush of air out of his nose. “She gave me a ride back to my bike. That’s it. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to her.”

“How can I not worry? I’m about to leave town, and you’re surrounded by women who want to sleep with you.”

His eyes jerk down at me with a stare so intense that it causes a shudder to ripple down my spine. “And you don’t think I worry about that same fucking thing every minute of the goddamn day? Whenever we go out, all the male eyes around you can’t seem to peel themselves away from you. What if, one day, you figure out what a son of a bitch I am and leave me for someone better? God knows I’m not worthy of you, so I’m waiting on the day when you realize that too.”

His words sober me up, and I recall the conversation I had with Nettie.

I reach up and cup his face, so I can stare into his nearly see-through blue eyes. “I’ll never leave you.”

He closes his eyes as he leans into my touch. “You don’t know how hard I pray for that. Losing you is my biggest fear, so that’s why I fight like hell to keep you.”