xanth 40 - isis orb (24 page)

After that it was relatively easy. Nya and Quin helped him slide down the mountain, catching him when he lost control, and before long they were all at the foot.

The two centaurs hailed them, and Feline pounced on Hapless, hugging him pleasantly close and kissing him. With that support he finally let go and fell into the sleep of utter fatigue.

Chapter 11:

Merge

Hapless woke with his head on Feline’s lap while she stroked his hair. He could hardly imagine a nicer way to be. “Oh, Feline,” he said. “You didn’t need to stay up just to cushion me.”

“Oh, I did,” Hapless,” she said. “You had quite a time. Nya told me all about it. How you got frostbit but wouldn’t give up, then got the Air Griffin to attack you so Quin could catch him and get the totem. You’re such a hero!”

“I’m no such thing,” he protested. “I’d have fallen off the mountain if Nya hadn’t helped me.”

“She said you kept her from falling off herself.”

He hoped Nya had kept her promise not to tell one detail of that situation. “She exaggerates. She could have turned dragon and saved herself.”

“Yes. But you were too frozen to think of that. So you had the right motive.”

So it seemed the naga hadn’t told. “At any rate, Quin and Nya did it. They’re the heroes.”

“You all are.” She leaned down to kiss him.

He remained uneasy. Nya hadn’t told, but did that make it right? “I—there’s something I have to tell you, Feline.”

“Don’t worry; your fingers will recover. Nya used her Totem to heat them through to the core so they wouldn’t be lost. She said you just kept plowing on regardless of the pain.”

“Not that. It’s that when we fell, after the caterpillar passed, she, well, she fell on top of me. Her—front landed on my face.”

“Her bare bosom?”

“Yes.” Would she explode? Would she dump him on the ground?

“Now that’s interesting.”

“That it happened?”

“That you told me.”

“I wanted to keep it secret, but that would have been deceiving you by omission, so that would have been a lie.”

“And you couldn’t lie.”

“I couldn’t,” he agreed.

“How do you expect me to react, Hapless?”

“I don’t know whether you’ll be angry, mad or furious. Whatever it is, I guess I deserve it.”

“Why?”

“You don’t like me looking. This was touching. That must be worse.”

“Because you appreciated her curves?”

“Yes.”

“More than you appreciate mine?”

How bad was this going to get? It was treacherous territory. “No. But she was bare.”

“That makes a difference?”

“Yes,” he said, fearing her explosion.

“Close your eyes.”

Was she going to hit him? He closed his eyes, trying not to flinch.

She shifted around some, then took his head in her hands and lifted it to a new location. She pressed him firmly down. Her lap had been soft; this was softer.

Then he heard her heartbeat. She had set his head against her bared breasts! She was matching what Nya had inadvertently done, and raised the ante.

“I—” he said, overwhelmed.

“Whose curves are better?”

“Yours! And I love you for them. I wish I didn’t, but I do.”

“I suppose it can’t be helped. Now go back to sleep; you are not yet fully recovered.”

He didn’t try to argue. Instead he relaxed and went back to sleep.

He woke again hours later, much improved. Feline was no longer with him; instead it was Nya keeping an eye on him. “You told her,” she said when she saw that he was awake.

“I had to.” Yet Feline had left him in Nya’s care! That suggested that she trusted him—and Nya.

“I think she loves you.”

“I think I love her too.”

“You make a good couple.”

“Maybe we could. But there’s those other women I am fated to meet. That complicates things.”

“It does,” she agreed. “I have to say I hope those others don’t work out.”

“I hope so too.”

“Are you ready to travel?”

“I think so.”

“But first you need to eat.” She brought him a pie. He had not realized that there were pie plants in this area.

“There aren’t,” she said. “Faro cased the area and brought some back.”

So low-level flying was still a good deal swifter than walking. He ate the pie appreciatively; now that he was rested, he was famished.

Feline returned. “Ah, I see you’re up. We should get moving. There are two more Totems to get, and they are not close by. We’ll have to portage around the Regions to get to Water.”

Evidently they had done some organizing while he was out of it. That was fine with him. He had not sought the burden of leadership, and exercised it only because he seemed to have no choice. “Water,” he agreed.

“The day’s half gone, but we can camp in Xanth proper, to the south. With luck we can avoid the region of flies.”

They had been studying the map, too. “Avoid,” he agreed. “Unless the path takes us that way.”

“We don’t plan to open the box until closer to our destination,” she said seriously. “We feel more comfortable being out of the box for a while.”

“So do I,” he admitted. “The paths show the way, but it’s not always easy.”

“Not always easy at all,” Feline agreed.

They set off, traveling south. Soon they came to the scintillating border and passed through it. Normal Xanth lay beyond. It was a relief to see it, after several days in the Regions.

“We’ll go west around the border of Air, then north past Earth and Fire,” Zed said. “That way we can be reasonably rested and fed before we tackle the Region of Water.”

And the Region of the Void after that, Hapless thought. Water should not be too bad, but he dreaded the deadly mystery of the Void.

Feline cupped her ear. “What’s that?”

“A child,” Faro said. “Crying.”

“We have to help it.”

“We do.”

The two of them set off at a tangent.

Hapless hesitated. “Go with them,” Zed said. “We’ll explore for the best route around the Regions. You can readily find us.” He, Quin, and Nya moved on.

Hapless hurried after the woman and the centaur. In an instant under three moments they found the child. It was a cute five-year-old little girl with curly mouse-brown hair and hazel eyes, standing in a little-girl-sized glade and sobbing.

Feline dropped to her knees and hugged the child. “We’ll help you,” she said. “I’m Feline Catwoman, and this is Faro Centaur. The man in the background is Hapless. Who are you?”

“I’m Myst. I’m lost.”

“Where is your mother?”

“I don’t know!” Myst wailed.

There was half a pause. Then Faro filled it in before it went too far. “You don’t know because you’re lost, of course. We meant to ask
who
is your mother?”

“Merge.” This was not completely helpful either.

“You wandered away while she was busy?” Feline asked.

“Yes.”

“Tell us about it,” Faro said.

“She was dousing pun virus, and I got bored, and I had this little picture in my mind of a really neat toy. So I looked for it. But I didn’t find it. Instead I got lost.”

Dousing pun virus? Hapless couldn’t make sense of that, so he focused on the simpler part. “What neat toy?”

“A little bonger with five colored planks. And two sticks.”

Hapless did some mental translation. It could be a musical instrument. “Like this?” He conjured a toy Xylophone with five colored panels.

“That’s it!” Myst exclaimed happily. She picked up the two padded sticks and started bonging. She made a pretty tune. Then she paused, surprised. “It worked!”

“His instruments do,” Feline said. “Hapless, you stay with Myst while we locate her mother. We’ll follow her trail back.” She changed to cat form, sniffed the ground, and bounded off in the direction the smell indicated the child had come from. Faro followed.

Hapless knew nothing about children. But Myst was happily playing the Xylophone again, reveling in her sudden proficiency. She didn’t mind being baby-sat. Feline had left him there because if he left, the music wouldn’t work any more and the child would be disappointed.

So he focused on the confusion as he sat on the ground opposite her. “What was your mother doing, Myst?”

“Dousing pun virus,” the child repeated over the sound of her music.

“Maybe I’m too dull to understand that. What does dousing mean?”

“She splashes her water on.”

Hapless decided to wait for an adult explanation on that. “What is your mother like?”

Myst kept on playing. “She’s great! She lets me do anything I want.”

Just so. “What about your father?”

“Don’t have a father now.”

“Uh—”

“I’m ’dopted.”

Oh. “Your mother adopted you?”

“Yes. She wanted to marry, but there wasn’t a man, so she ’dopted me by herself. That’s fine. But I know she’d like a man, if she found the right one.”

A single mother looking for a husband. That could be a dangerous combination.

Myst paused in her playing. “I like your bonger.”

“It’s called a xylophone.”

“That’s too big a name for me. Can I have it?”

“You can have it for a while. But it won’t last.”

“It won’t?” She threatened to tear up again.

“My talent is to conjure musical instruments. But after a day they fade.”

She looked really disappointed. “That’s sad.”

“But I can conjure another.”

Sunlight reappeared. “Great!” Then she surprised him by jumping up and hugging him and kissing him on the cheek. All he could do was put his arm around her to steady her. He knew nothing about children, but he liked this one.

At that point Feline and Faro returned, with another woman. She had waist-length hair that seemed to be of several colors, and a perfect body. This must be Myst’s mother—and here he was holding her daughter. It was embarrassing.

Then their glances met. The scene froze. There was a glowing line connecting them, then a flash as a coruscating red ribbon appeared to tie the two of them together. Hapless could not look away; he was locked into this link with the woman.

“It’s a Love Knot!” Faro exclaimed. “They are destined for each other.”

“Oh, no!” Feline moaned.

The ribbon and love knot faded. The scene resumed motion.

“Are you going to marry Mommy?” Myst asked.

He answered before his mind connected. “I don’t know.”

“Why not? You seem like a nice daddy to adopt.”

“It’s that I already have a girlfriend.”

“Oh, phooey! Dump her. Mommy’s better.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Maybe it’s time for introductions,” Faro said. “Hapless, this is Merge. Merge, this is Hapless.”

“Who is the other woman?” Merge asked grimly.

“Me,” Feline said.

“Oh bleep! We were becoming friends. You were so nice. You found my child and led me to her.”

“Yes. I don’t know you well, Merge, but it is already clear that you are no scheming hussy. If anyone deserves Hapless, you do.”

“Don’t I have a say in this?” Hapless asked.

“No,” the two women said almost together.

“You got tied by the Love Knot,” Faro explained. “And you already loved Feline. You have no choice. You were slated to have two good girlfriends anyway.”

“And one bad one,” Feline said grimly.

“And one bad one?” Merge asked.

“That’s a more complicated story,” Feline said. “Maybe we should make time to exchange detailed personal histories, since we’re likely to be seeing more of each other, regardless of our preferences.”

“Maybe we should,” Merge agreed. “We hardly know each other. But please, may I ask one thing? This is new and unsettling to me and I fear for the future.”

“Yes, kiss him,” Feline agreed.

They already understood each other that well?

Merge walked toward Hapless, who stood up to meet her. Myst ran to hug her around the waist, then took her hand and walked back with her. “I already kissed him,” the child said proudly.

Merge stepped into him, put her arms around him, drew him close, and kissed him firmly on the mouth. Little hearts radiated out. Myst caught one and hugged it to her. Hapless was overwhelmed with the wonder of it. Heaven was kissing him!

Merge stepped back, and Faro caught him before he fell. “Sit down until you acclimatize,” she said.

He sat. That was indeed best.

“We are six folk on a Quest,” Faro said as the others settled. “Each of us has a wish to fulfill, and we understand that if we find and control the Isis Orb, we will have our wishes granted. But it hasn’t been easy. First we had to round up the Companions; I was the last. Hapless is the leader. He conjures musical instruments but can’t play any; that’s his wish: to find his own instrument. Now we have to catch and tame the guardians of the five Regions of Fire, Earth, Air, Water and Void, then use them to control the Orb. But we expect the Goddess Isis, who it seems has the Orb, to make it difficult. We aren’t sure that all of us will survive the Quest. We are now on our way to the Region of Water.” She took a breath. “Hapless and Feline have a thing going. But we always knew that he was destined to have two good girlfriends and maybe one bad one. So it’s not your fault, but it does complicate our Quest.”

“Who is to be the bad girlfriend?”

“We’re not sure, but we think it could be Isis herself. That would be really complicated.”

“So Feline and I could both lose out to the goddess?”

“Yes.”

Merge looked at Feline. “I think we had better be friends. I already know he’d be better off with you than with Isis. She has a reputation.”

“I think so too,” Feline said. “I’d much rather see you get him, than the goddess. But he is intrigued by the bad girl.”

“Well, he’s a man. Men are stupid about such things.”

“Exactly.”

The two smiled at each other. They were definitely on the same side.

“Now my history,” Merge said. “I was originally five sisters.” She shimmered and fractured into five nude young women with brown, black, red, yellow and light blue hair. “We were all aspects of the original,” Brown said. “But didn’t know it,” Black said. “Until folk on another Quest came,” Red said. “Needing our help,” Yellow said. “And enabled us to merge,” Blue said. “Whereupon we became me,” the reunited Merge concluded. “I possess the Urn of Pun Virus Antidote Elixir, which we use to douse the virus that is killing puns.” She lifted the urn she carried, which Hapless somehow hadn’t noticed until this moment. “That is what I was doing when Myst got lost. I wasn’t paying proper attention to her.”