Xavier Cold (Hard Knocks #2) (9 page)

“You said that we couldn’t afford to do that.”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Well if you won’t stay at my aunts, then we’re staying here. It’s the logical thing to do.”

Xavier pushes himself up and rolls his shoulders back. The thin material of his black button-up shirt strains against his biceps. All of his clothes seem to fit extra tight, probably due to his sheer size, but it looks good on him because his body is so defined.

“Did you forget what just happened here?” he asks.

“No, of course not.”

He sets his eyes on me. “Then, you know why we need to go.”

No matter how badly he wants to leave this place, Xavier needs to realize that staying in a hotel for three straight months will hit his bank account hard, and we can’t do that—unless he thinks we won’t be safe.

“Will those guys hurt us if we stay here?”

Xavier’s blue eyes darken. “They’ll never touch you.”

I stare into his eyes, knowing he means that. He’s proven time and time again that he would never allow anyone to hurt me, so I’m not afraid for my own well-being, only his.

I take a step toward him to close the distance between us. “Will they hurt you?”

“No. I’m too valuable to them. They think I’m a walking ATM. They might threaten me, but they know, if something happens to me, the cops would be all over them.”

“Then, we should stay. I’m not afraid, as long as I have you to protect me.”

“I’ll always guard that beautiful body of yours.”

I smile at him. “There’s my bodyguard who’s always looking out for me in this city.”

“You know it.” He smiles back at me, clearly amused that I remembered his promise to be my personal bodyguard from all the pricks in Detroit.

My eyes drift to the cut above his eye where the blood has crusted over. “We should go in and look at that eye of yours. I might not have your bandaging ability, but I use a Band-Aid like no other.”

He chuckles as I’m sure he’s thinking about the time he cleaned up my knee at Larry’s. “I have to see this skill of yours.”

“Well, come on. Nettie sent home your food.” I start to take a step toward the house, but I pause when I notice that Xavier is still stuck in place.

He pushes his long hair back from his face as he stares up at the house in front of him. “I’m dreading tonight.”

He doesn’t have to say any more than that for me to understand that he’s talking about his nightmares.

I reach over and take his hand, causing his eyes to drift down to mine. I stare into the blue pools of his irises and say, “They always say, the first step is the hardest, and I can attest to that. I was always afraid to leave home even though I hated how overbearing Father was. Making the decision was the easy part, but taking that first step on the plane was tough. I don’t regret doing it though because it was the right decision. It led me here to you. Whether you realized it or not, you helped me through the roughest day of my life on that plane. You were kind to me. You saved me. Now, let me be here for you. If it becomes too much for you in there, lean on me, please, the way I’ve leaned on you.”

Xavier swallows hard and cups my face into his hand before he kissed my lips. “I’ll try, but this place absolutely brings out the beast in me, and I don’t want to accidentally unleash on you.”

“You won’t,” I whisper. “I trust you.”

He leans his forehead against mine. “You don’t know how badly I want to be a good guy for you, Anna, because that’s what you deserve. You shouldn’t have to live in this ghetto hell with me.”

I place my hands on his cheeks. “I don’t care where we live, as long as we’re together.”

He closes his eyes but doesn’t say anything else. I don’t push him either. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Xavier Cold, it’s that he doesn’t do well when he’s ordered around. He operates on his own time.

We stand there for a while before Xavier releases a heavy sigh. “We should probably go in and figure out where we’re sleeping.” He grabs my hand and leads me up onto the back porch.

I tilt my head. “I just assumed we’d be sleeping in your old room.”

Xavier’s muscle twitches beneath the skin of his jaw. “We can’t do that.”

“Oh,” I say, deflated.

I was looking forward to seeing the room where Xavier had spent his time as a little boy. “Will you at least show me your old bedroom?”

“That’s not going to happen either.”

I furrow my brow. “Why not? Don’t you want me to see it?”

He unlocks the back door. “It’s not that, Anna.”

“Then . . . I don’t understand.” I’m completely confused.

“I never had a room. Not every kid had a room like you, Anna. I wasn’t blessed with a family who actually gave a shit when it came to me. I was lucky to be fed. Things like toys or a bed to sleep in weren’t things my grandmother thought I deserved.”

Pressure snakes around my heart, and I swear, it feels like it’s breaking. I know this might be crossing the line in regard to what he’s willing to say about his family, but I can’t stop my brain from wondering, and it will eat at me if I don’t get this out. “What about your mother? Didn’t she—”

“Anna . . .” he says my name with a bite to it.

“I’m sorry. This subject is off-limits—you’ve told me that so many times—but I want to understand you better. I want to know about your past.”

“My past is fucked up. You know that. You’ve seen the way it affects me, firsthand, so you should understand why I don’t want to talk about it.” He opens the door and stares inside the house. “Can we not do this right now? Talking about it and being here—I can’t do it.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed. I’ll try to stop doing that.”

He sighs and turns to me. “I wish it wasn’t so damn hard to talk about my past. I want you to know me, but there are some demons that your goodness shouldn’t be exposed to. I don’t want God to look down at me, pissed that I tainted one of his angels with my darkness.”

My eyebrows knit together. “I’m no angel.”

“You are to me.” Xavier threads his fingers through mine. “Come on, beautiful. Let’s find a place to sleep.”

He reaches inside and flips on the lights to the kitchen. The cabinets are dated, and there’s a green-topped table with metal legs sitting in the middle of the small space. Like the living room, the chairs have plastic over them. We walk to the table, and I set the food down before we move into the living room. It’s the only other room I’ve seen in this house.

Xavier then leads me to the stairs, and we head up. My hand trails up the wood paneling as we reach the second floor. It’s no bigger up here than the first floor. There are three doors at the top of the stairs, and all of them are closed.

Xavier points toward the door directly across from the stairs. “Bathroom. It’s the only one in the house. The door to the right of that one is my mother’s old room, and the other door is Grandmother’s room.” He turns toward me. “The only thing I ask is that you not go into Grandmother’s room. I’ve never been in there, and that’s one door I want to always stay closed.”

My eyes wander over to the room in question, and I zero in on a padlock, sealing the door shut. “Is that why there’s a lock?”

Xavier shakes his head. “She put that on there. She didn’t want anyone in her room.”

“Were you curious as to why she kept it locked?”

“No,” he says flatly. “The thought of defying her never crossed my mind. I didn’t want to pay the consequence. Things were bad enough as they were. I didn’t need to create mischief to bring any more hell down on myself.”

I swallow hard. “She sounds horrible.”

“Yeah, but if you ask any of the neighbors around here about her, they’ll fucking sing her praises like she’s Mother Teresa.”

“They obviously didn’t know her.”

He nods. “You got that right. She put on a face for the public, for her church, but she was no sweet old lady behind these walls. Her true nature came out here, where no one else but me could see it.”

My eyes burn, and there’s no way I can stop the tears from falling from them. I sniff, and it catches Xavier’s attention. His eyes flit down to my face, and the corners of his mouth turn down.

He slides his thick index finger under my chin and then tips my chin up, so he can set his gaze directly down on me. “It kills me when you frown. You know I hate that.”

“What you must’ve gone through . . . I can’t . . . it breaks my heart.” I have a hard time getting all the words out.

“Don’t,” he whispers with a slight growl in his voice. “Don’t cry for me. I’m not worth it.”

“You are worth it,” I manage to squeak out between sobs. “You’re one of the best people I’ve ever known.”

He squeezes his eyes shut, like my words physically cause him pain. “Anna, I’m not. I’ve done horrible things.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve told you that. I love you for the man you are now. I don’t care about your past. I love you, Xavier.”

Without warning or permission, he crushes his mouth down on mine. Fire courses through every inch of me as I press myself against his sculpted chest. I claw at his shirt as he backs me up to the wall. His fingers find their way under my shirt, causing a shiver to run down my spine. His cock hardens beneath those tight jeans, and it presses into my belly as we continue to devour each other. His tongue probes my mouth, and I’m so turned on that I can’t see straight. Between my legs, I ache, and I know only having him inside me can give me any relief.

“God, Anna, you taste so good,” Xavier murmurs as he slides his hand down my thigh. Then, he hitches my leg up onto his hip.

I toss my head back and moan as his stiff length creates friction through my jeans. He kisses a trail down my chin, leaving fire in his wake, and then he licks the soft skin of my neck.

This man has the ability to turn me on with the slightest touch, and there’s nothing more I want right now than to feel every inch of his bare skin pressed against mine.

I grab the hem of his shirt and push up. He drags it over his head, making his hair a sexy mess. I thrust my fingers into his thick hair and kiss him. The taste of him dances across my tongue, and I can’t get enough.

Xavier’s fingers work quickly to pop the button on my jeans, and then he unzips them before his hand snakes inside my panties.

The moment his digit makes contact with my most sensitive flesh, I bite down on my bottom lip. “Xavier . . .”

“Mmm . . . so wet and always so ready for me,” he growls into my ear. “I can’t wait to feel that tight little pussy of yours wrapped around me.”

The delicious torture on my clit continues, and my head falls back and bumps into the wall. “Oh God.” It’s all I can manage to get out before he flicks my clit one final time, and I come against his finger.

My entire body shudders as he pushes my pants and panties down in one quick swoop. My fingers fly over his belt. I need to feel him moving inside me.

“Patience, baby. I’m far from done with you yet.”

He bends down and pulls my shoes off, one by one, and tosses them to the floor. I step out of them as he pops up and then slowly slips my shirt over my head.

One finger traces the mounds of flesh on my chest while his other hand reaches behind me and unhooks my bra. I stand there, completely naked, in front of him, and his eyes take their time in raking over every inch of bare flesh exposed to him.

“So fucking beautiful and all fucking mine.”

Goose bumps erupt across my skin at the sound of his possessive words. It turns me on to know he claims me as his own, and the way he looks at me makes me feel like the most desired woman in the world.

He gently pinches my chin and then rubs his thumb across my lips. I open my mouth, wrap my lips around his thumb, and suck as I stare up at him.

I want to taste him.

He seems to know what I want to do because he drops his hand from my face, and I lean in and kiss his neck just below his chin. The scruff tickles my nose as I work my way along his neck before I turn my attention down to that toned chest of his.

I drop to my knees in front of him and unzip his pants. When I push his boxer briefs along with his jeans down, his cock springs free. I run my hand along the silky skin before popping the head into my mouth.

Xavier sucks in a quick breath through gritted teeth. “Fuck . . . Anna.”

The way he says my name encourages me to keep going because I like seeing him lose control.

I work faster, bobbing my head, taking as much in as I can. I feel proud of myself for resisting the urge to gag when he hits the back of my throat.

He runs his fingers through my hair and holds it away from my face, so he can watch me. “If you keep that up, I’ll come in that pretty mouth of yours, and I’m not ready for this to be over.”

My tongue darts out, and I lick his length one final time before he pulls me back up to face him. The wood paneling scratches my back as he pushes me against it and hitches my right leg over his hip.

The head of his cock presses against my entrance. He crushes his mouth into mine, and I close my eyes as he slips into me.

“Mmm . . . yes!” I breathe as he pulls back and then slides into me again. “So good.”

“You like that?” he whispers as he continues to pump in and out of me. “You want more? Harder? Deeper?”

My mouth hangs open, and he bites my bottom lip.

“Tell me.”

“Yes. All of it. Just keep going.” The desperation in my voice surprises me.

Xavier grabs both of my thighs, lifting me off my feet with ease. I wrap my legs around his waist, and he pushes inside me even deeper.

“Fucking perfect. You were made for me.”

His pace picks up, and sweat slicks his skin as he pounds into me.

The constant attention to my pussy causes that familiar tingle to erupt, and I cry out as an orgasm rips through me hard. “Xavier. Oh God. Yes.”

His movements become more rigid. He buries his face into the crook of my neck and bites my shoulder as he finds his own release. “Fuck, Anna. Shit.” Tremors ripple through his entire body as he comes down from his orgasmic high.

He pulls back and presses a soft kiss to my lips. “I love you, Anna.”

I stare into the eyes of the man I love without a doubt, and there’s no question that this is who I was made for, the man I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with.