Yesterday's Heroes (Consortium of Chaos Book 1) (17 page)

Harlot was still too sad to move. 
She felt like crying.  This was just devastating…  “Oh god…He was such a GOOD
cat, you know?  So brave…and…and…”  She sniffled.  “I remember seeing him break
up that dog fighting ring that time, and it was just…I mean, he’s a
CAT….
out
there helping
DOGS
.  Natural enemies, but still helping, you know?”  She
blinked back tears.  “Just trying to make a
DIFFERENCE
….So brave…” 

Wyatt nodded.  “Yes, yes.  An
inspiration to all the other flying cats from outer space out there.”  He bent
to pick up the bag containing the device.  “So, shall we go or should we have a
moment of silence for all the lost super-pets?”

Her mouth fell open.  “Oh god! 
There were OTHERS!?!”

Wyatt started walking towards the
car.  “Trust me; you do NOT want to hear about what happened to ‘Cow-abunga’.” 
He shook his head sadly.  “Damn Honey Badger and his barbeques.”  His eyes
narrowed and he opened the car door.  “Sadist.”

She trudged towards their vehicle. 
“That’s just really disillusioning.  I mean…they’re supposed to be the heroes,
right?”

Wyatt nodded.  “One thing the world
has taught me?  There are no heroes left.  Just villains wearing masks and
villains wearing capes.”

An eagle was flying
through the air when it suddenly heard the whizz of an arrow, and felt itself
wounded to death.  It fluttered down slowly to earth, with its life-blood
pouring out of it.  Looking down at the arrow with which it had been pierced, it
found that the shaft of the arrow had been feathered with one of its own plumes. 
"Alas!" it cried dying, "How often we give our enemies the means
for our own destruction."

To say that the other members of
the Consortium were surprised to hear of their victory would have been an
understatement.  Indeed, they were downright shocked speechless, and Harlot had
to produce the heroes’ utility belts to prove it.

Cynic blinked at her.  “Well…I can
honestly say I wasn’t expecting that.  Figured we’d be trying to break you guys
out of jail tomorrow or whatever.”  His eyes narrowed in suspicion.  “…I
still
think you’re lying for some reason.”

Gurrier put down his sculpture.  “So…you
didn’t get tracked back here?”

They shook their heads.

He swore.  “Nice.”  From someone
else, that was the equivalent of going into some sort of frenzy of enthusiasm. 
She had never heard Hazz express praise for anyone else before.

Wyatt however, didn’t seem to think
this was at all out of the usual.  “Yes, a glorious victory over a few heroes
that most people have never even heard of.  We need to
concentrate
, people.” 
He opened up a box next to him.  “Here are some files we need to start working
on.  It’s everything we need to take the Squad down.  For example…”  He pulled
a file out at random.  “The Cougar and her faithful feline companion ‘Robinson’. 
What most people don’t know though, is that Robinson is a critically endangered
Amur leopard, and it is illegal for her to use it in her crime fighting
activities.  If we report her to my new friends in the government, she’s
looking at jail time.”

“Well, I knew
that
.” Poacher
put down his beer as if just coming to a realization.   “Wait…you guys didn’t
know that? …Shit. 
Preschoolers
can recognize those things, man.”  He
shook his head sadly and picked up the beer again.  “I hate that fucking cat. 
Anyone else ever eat a leopard?”  He looked around the room searching for
someone who would agree with him about the experience, and looked disappointed
to see there was no one.  “All gristle; no meat on them, just bones and fur. 
Nasty fucking things.”

Wyatt ignored him and pulled out
another file.  “Or take The Visitor here?  He’s from VENUS for god’s sake!  Why
isn’t he being hassled by Immigration?  Huh?  He’s an illegal alien…in every
sense of the word.  For that matter, the same could be said for Dauntless
himself.”  He slid the box across the table.  “So, we’re going to report all of
this stuff to some sympathetic people in law enforcement who I’ve found, and if
need be, use Vaudeville’s media contacts to pressure them to get the job done.”

He put a huge cardboard box filled
with paperwork on the table and then walked into the hall to get another one. 
Then another.  By the time he was done, the table was overflowing with
paperwork.  He pointed at it.  “Okay, here’s where I’m out of my league.  These
are all of the internal financial records and business papers I could grab from
Squad headquarters.  It’s gibberish to me, but I’m told that Librarian’s
something of a whiz at this.”

Marian’s eyes coolly scanned the
mass of documents, her face expressionless.  “I am very good at my jobs,
Fabricator.”

“So, I’ve heard.  But so are
they
.” 
He pointed at the boxes.  “You are the only one around qualified to examine
this stuff though.  I have NO idea what you might find in there, but whatever
it is, they will have hidden their tracks very well.”

Cynic flipped through one of the
stacks.  “Damn.  This stuff is so boring, I
already
feel like killing
myself.”

She opened up the first box and
began taking an inventory.  “I am very good at my jobs, Fabricator.”  She repeated.

Cynic opened another box, his voice
taking on a sing-song quality.  “
I think wonderboy is questioning your
accounting kung-fu, Libs.”

Wyatt picked up his notepad and
stood up to leave the room.  “I just need this done.  Sic ‘em!”

She watched Wyatt leave the room,
feeling oddly…optimistic about him being a part of the team.

*******

An hour later, the monkey was
jumping at Fabricator; its strangely clawed hands tearing at his face. 
Fabricator jumped up into the air, was suspended there for a moment as his feet
pinwheeled in space until they finally caught traction, and he fled the scene. 
Unfortunately, he ran directly into his father’s back as he explored deeper
into the ice cave.  The taller gray haired man looked down at his ten year old
son with a gentle smile.  “Oh-no!  What is the matter, Fabricator!”  Why
exactly he was calling his own son by a code name was left unexplained.  “We
must concentrate on stopping Major Mortimer Monstross and his minions of Mad
Monkeys!”

Fabricator pointed behind him doing
a perfect imitation of Shemp Howard trying to tell his father that the monkeys
were behind them, without actually being able to get the words out.  “
But…monkeys…over…monkeys…”

His father reached down to ruffle
his hair.  “Do not worry, little Fabricator.  We will stop him!  Now, best let
me get to the bottom of this mystery!”  And then he simply walked away and
disappeared.

Fabricator turned around.  His
entire body stayed absolutely still except for his mouth, which simply blinked
open and closed, somehow forming words.  “Well, guys, I guess it’s up to
us!
”

Behind him, a strangely young
version of Honey Badger, a ten year old version of Seraphim…who was also a
ghost for some reason, and what appeared to be a bizarre mix of a green squid,
a cat and a cow, all nodded.

 “Yeah!”  Badger Boy slammed a tiny
fist into his hand.  “We’ll murderize those punks!  Those guys don’t
stand a
chance
when
we stand together!”

Ghostly Seraphim Girl looked
uncertain.  “I do not know, Fabricator.  I predict with an 82% probability that
this mission will have a better chance of success if you tell your father and
uncle Dauntless of your plan.”

 “No!”  Fabricator shook his head
awkwardly, like it was on a spring.  “The Freedom Squad is busy.  This is a job
for…”  He held up his hand. 
“…The Little Liberty League!”

His companions followed suit and
soon they were all somehow transported inside their giant robotic…rabbit?  How
bizarre. 

Fabricator looked out the view
screen scanning for his quarry.  He glanced over his shoulder.  “How about it
Fantastilope?  Is he on the sensors?”  The details on what exactly the sensors
were sensing were not provided.  The strange cow/cat/squid creature gave a
mixture of a moo, a beep and the sound of a foghorn in reply.  Fabricator
nodded.  “Alright then.  Battle stations, team!”

They jumped from the robot and
landed in a large patch of snow.  They looked around warily.  Suddenly, Major
Mortimer Monstross and his Mad Monkey Minions leapt from where they were
concealed behind…something.  How exactly they managed to conceal themselves on
an entirely blank landscape, from an opponent who was looking down on the scene
from atop a fifty-foot mechanical rabbit and would
doubtlessly
be able
to see everything for half a mile around, was not explained. 

Mortimer glared at the members of
the Freedom Squad: Little Liberty League.  “My, my, methinks I may manage to
murder these munchkins and maneuver myself into more money!”

Fabricator leveled a finger at him. 
“I don’t think so, Monstross!  We’re here to shut you down!”

“Maybe you mean your mentors?”  Monstross
gave a shrill laugh.  “
My machinations will mutilate you minors!”

Fabricator shook his head.  “We may
be just kids, but we’ll stop you!  You don’t stand a chance when we stand
together!  Surrender villain!”  His small head of hair blew in the artic wind. 
“…In the name of Freedom!”

There was a knock at the door.

Harlot pressed pause on the DVD of
the old
Freedom Squad: Little Liberty League
cartoon and looked over her
shoulder at the door.  She was sitting on a couch in her collection room, which
was connected to her quarters by a door.  She usually liked to keep the
collection room open so that everyone could enjoy it as much as she did…even
though no one ever did…but today she had closed it.  She hurried over to the
door and was surprised to see Wyatt there.  Wyatt?  HERE?  She glanced around
at all the Freedom Squad and hero paraphernalia lining the shelves.  Dammit! 
She should have hidden all the Fabricator stuff!  She took a deep breath and
let him in, trying to look casual…and failing miserably.  “Hey Wyatt. 
Problems?”

 “Yeah.”  He held a folder in his
hands and didn’t bother to look up as he walked into the room.  “I’ve found a
notation here on this file, and I wanted to ask you if you knew anything…”  He
looked up from the paper.  “…about…
holy shit
…”

She winced.  “Yeah…um…I’m a
collector.  Like I said.”

He nodded.  “I can see that.  You
have more pictures of Peter and me than my parents did.”

“Possibly.”  She decided to change
the subject.  “Gotta be like that scene in
Toy Story 2
where Woody sees
all his stuff around, huh?”

He shook his head, still too amazed
to pay too much attention to what she was saying.  “…Never…seen it…”

Her mouth fell open in pity.  “…You
poor pitiful bastard.  I’ll put it on for you tonight.  The fact you haven’t
seen it is more depressing than your ‘killer dog in a box’ story.”  She
brightened.  “So, did you have a question?”

“It can wait.”  His eyes fell on
the TV.  “Hey, that the old cartoon?”

“Yeah, you and the Little Liberty
League are about to stop Monstross.”  She paused.  “Again.  He left them that
puzzle with the location of his base on the back of the scrimshawed whale
tooth, and Fabricator just solved it, because it turned out that it was written
backwards.”

He rolled his eyes.  “God, I could
never stand that show.  Why the
hell
would a villain
deliberately
leave a clue on how to catch him?  That makes NO sense. The only thing about
that show that was ever any good was the theme song.”

She sat back on the couch, still
feeling very nervous.  “Yeah…it…it was a good one.”

His eyes continued scanning the
room, and fell on the autograph he had given her years before.  He pointed to
its frame, his eyes narrowing.  “I’m glad your ‘DAD’ liked his gift, ‘GUARD’.”

She laughed.  “You’re really stuck
on that aren’t you?”

He made a noncommittal sound.  “I’m
not used to being made a fool of.”  He paused.  “Here I meet this pretty girl
who seems into me, and then she turns out to be a super-villainess just
flirting with me to provide a distraction so a lunatic can escape and continue
terrorizing the populous.”  He shrugged.  “…But, I’m not dwelling on it.”

 “Yeah.”  She nodded humoringly.  “I
can see that.  You seem to have really moved passed it completely.”  She
thought for a moment and she tried to stifle a laugh.  “Sorry.  I’m not…I’m not
really used to thinking of you as…well…a PERSON, really.  The idea that someone
like you has
feelings
is…kind of blowing my mind actually.  You’re not a
person; you’re a hero!  A
celebrity!”

He rolled his eyes.  “Yes, how
thoughtless of me to make your objectification of me difficult.  Terribly
sorry.” 

She shrugged.  “If it makes you
feel any better, I wasn’t lying in the cell block.  I…”

He pointed to a glass case in the
corner cutting her off, obviously not wanting to discuss it anymore.  “Ah,
there are all your stupid clocks, huh?”

“They’re not stupid, they’re
COLLECTIBLE.”

He flopped down into one of the
chairs and absently picked up a Dauntless action figure and started playing
with it.  “Well, whatever you call old broken cheap plastic clocks in your
world.”

“I CALL them collectibles, and so
does the entire Heroiana collecting community, thank you very much.”  She
pointed at a computer in the corner.  “I’ll have you know that my blog gets
THOUSANDS of hits every…”

He laughed.  “You have a blog for
this shit?”

She pushed him.  “YES!  This is
serious, Wyatt!  Fabricurator.com is the largest…”

He put his head back and gave a
bark of laughter.  “
FABRICURATOR.COM!”
  He put his face in his hands. 
“Oh my god…
classic
.”

She pressed play on the TV again
and crossed her arms over his chest, no longer feeling like talking to him if
he was going to be like that.  “Are you laughing at me?”

He nodded.  “
Absolutely
.”

She pointed a finger at him.  “Oh…this
is all going into my blog post today.”  She held her hands out as if imagining
the post title.  “
Former Hero Turned Villain is Total Jerk in Real-life.”

He laughed.  “Yeah, this is totally
the worst thing I’ve ever done.  Not understanding why ANYONE would want to
have so much hero junk around?  THAT’S my biggest crime against humanity.” 

She sat back in her chair, still
sulking. 

He smiled over at her.  “Oh come
on!  Don’t be like that!”  He reached into his briefcase, his voice taking on a
sing-song quality.  “I have something for you…”

She glanced over at him in
interest, despite herself.  He grinned and pulled a bundle wrapped in bubble
paper from his case.  “I hope you realize how difficult this was to find. 
Okay?  It’s not a stupid clock, but I’m guessing you’ll like it anyway.  It’s…just
a little thank you for being so welcoming.”