You Are So Undead to Me (4 page)
Like, Abercrombie model hot. Hot enough that I probably would have had issues thinking up something to say to him even if I hadn’t been scared to death he would see William’s arm and turn me in to the police for grave robbing or worse.
“Um, I was just—”
“Just trying to dispose of some unwanted body parts?” he asked in his deep, manly voice, taking two steps forward before he squatted down in front of me. He was close enough I could tell that his eyes were a gorgeous shade of green and that he was
not
a happy camper. In fact, he looked
pissed
, and I could only assume he was pissed at me.
not
a happy camper. In fact, he looked
pissed
, and I could only assume he was pissed at me.
“Um . . .”
“I’m going to need something more than ‘um.’” His voice got even deeper and would have been terrifying if it weren’t weirdly familiar.
“Listen, I know this looks bad, but—”
“It doesn’t just look bad. It
is
bad.” His eyes narrowed, and my heart raced in response. I was suddenly aware of how very large he was, at least compared to my five-four and a hundred and change. He could kill me with his bare hands and have me buried in the fresh dirt behind me without breaking a sweat. “You really messed up, Megan.”
is
bad.” His eyes narrowed, and my heart raced in response. I was suddenly aware of how very large he was, at least compared to my five-four and a hundred and change. He could kill me with his bare hands and have me buried in the fresh dirt behind me without breaking a sweat. “You really messed up, Megan.”
And he knew my name! He was probably a psycho stalker serial killer of teen girls who had been waiting to add me to his list of victims . . . or something equally scary. Crap! Didn’t I know by now that I should
never
leave the house without parental permission? I’d only snuck out two times in six years, and both times I’d found mortal danger.
never
leave the house without parental permission? I’d only snuck out two times in six years, and both times I’d found mortal danger.
“. . . only get worse. Do you understand me?” he asked. He’d evidently been talking for a while, but I’d been too freaked to hear.
“Shit,” I whispered, my voice shaky.
“Last time I checked, that wasn’t an official command,” he said with a sigh. “And aren’t you a little young to have a mouth like that?”
His eyes drifted to my mouth and for a split second I thought he was checking out my lips. Even weirder, for a split second, I really kind of
hoped
that he was checking out my lips and that he might consider an even closer inspection.
hoped
that he was checking out my lips and that he might consider an even closer inspection.
I was having make-out fantasies about a serial killer. The realization was enough to snap me out of my inspection of the dude’s own lips.
Grip! Must get grip! “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you said. You’re kind of freaking me out,” I confessed.
“Elder Pruitt saw your Unsettled run across the football field without a halo,” he said, as if the halo thing should make any sense to me.
So he was a Settler. He must have been if he was in touch with the Elders from Settlers’ Affairs, the ruling body that kept the rest of the town Settlers in line. This was good news, mostly. At least he wasn’t going to report me for grave robbing. But what he’d said
did
make me wonder why an Elder from Settlers’ Affairs would be hanging around the Carol High football field. I would have asked for the 411 if I wasn’t still more than a little worried.
did
make me wonder why an Elder from Settlers’ Affairs would be hanging around the Carol High football field. I would have asked for the 411 if I wasn’t still more than a little worried.
I mean, I knew he wasn’t going to kill me, but I could still be in deep trouble if I’d somehow broken the SA rules. “Um, listen, I’m not sure exactly what you’re talking about. I had an accident when I was still a first-stage Settler and I—”
“Yeah . . . I know,” he said, looking at me with a mixture of confusion and frustration. Didn’t this guy have any expression that wasn’t colored by massive amounts of negative emotion? He really needed to work on his happy face.
“So I don’t remember what I’m supposed to do. I mean, I never really
learned
what I was supposed to do as a second stager, so when this guy showed up on my doorstep, I was a little unprepared for—”
learned
what I was supposed to do as a second stager, so when this guy showed up on my doorstep, I was a little unprepared for—”
“You shouldn’t have been unprepared. Jennifer should have made sure you weren’t.” Whoa! Now this guy was dissing me
and
my mom? Where did he get off? “Just because you weren’t manifesting for a few years didn’t mean you wouldn’t start. You needed to know how to handle second-stage Settling without screwing it up.”
and
my mom? Where did he get off? “Just because you weren’t manifesting for a few years didn’t mean you wouldn’t start. You needed to know how to handle second-stage Settling without screwing it up.”
“That’s Mrs. Berry to you,” I said, getting angry. “She’s way older than you are, so I think the first-name thing is out. We do live in the South, and manners are expected, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
“Manners aren’t going to do you much good if you get reprimanded by SA or your family gets relocated because you got caught running around town with random body parts.”
“Fine, then I’ll talk to Mom about catching up or something,” I said, even though that was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn’t want to catch up—I wanted out. Forever. “But it might not even matter; this might have been a fluke. I might go back to normal and never see a zombie—”
“Unsettled, have some respect,” he said, obviously even angrier. “And you
have
gone back to normal. Being a Settler
is
normal for you.”
have
gone back to normal. Being a Settler
is
normal for you.”
“How would you know?” If he wanted to escalate this little confrontation, that was fine with me. “Who are you, anyway?”
“Ethan.” He gave me a hard look, as if his name should mean something to me, then continued with a sigh. “I’m with Settlers’ Affairs, Protocol Division, the people SA calls when screwups need an attitude adjustment.”
I stared into his undeniably gorgeous green eyes, mind racing as I tried to remember where I might have met him before. The name did niggle something in the back of my mind, but I couldn’t concentrate on the niggle when the rest of my brain was thinking about the whole “Protocol” revelation. This guy was the equivalent of a Settler cop, and I was truly in deep trouble if he’d been called in. Some backpedaling was clearly in order.
“Okay, I’m sorry. My attitude is ready to be adjusted, I swear.”
He just stared at me for several seconds.
“I’m Megan Berry,” I said finally, when the tense silence had lasted too long. I might as well introduce myself properly, even though this dude obviously already knew who I was.
I held out my hand and he took it after a moment. A tiny buzz of Settler power jumped between us as his much larger hand engulfed mine, along with a zing of something much more human.
Wow, this guy had some intense personal energy. If I weren’t totally into Josh and this guy weren’t a Settler cop, I had a feeling I would be able to get a pretty intense crush going on Ethan in a very short time.
“Yeah, I know, but I was hoping you’d let me call you Schmeg.”
“Schme—” The nickname made the niggle in my mind turn into a tidal wave that broke through some wall deep inside my head. I was suddenly overwhelmed with memories—Ethan and me playing in my backyard, eating tofu bake over at his house, watching scary movies in his rec room, me sneaking along to the graveyard the night of his second-stage ceremony because I didn’t want to be left behind. He was three and a half years older and getting ready to—
“Seal your first grave,” I mumbled, my lips numb. Ohmygod,
that
was why I’d been out alone on the night of my attack. And Ethan was the boy at the graveyard, the one who’d saved my life. I remembered his face now, the way he’d looked when he was thirteen.
that
was why I’d been out alone on the night of my attack. And Ethan was the boy at the graveyard, the one who’d saved my life. I remembered his face now, the way he’d looked when he was thirteen.
Other details spilled into my brain, filling in an abundance of the holes in my personal history and Settler education. Now I knew why I was in trouble with Protocol. I was supposed to have marked William before I let him go. I should have touched his forehead, which would cause that halo thing and let any fellow Settlers who saw him know someone was following him back to his grave. Then I was supposed to go to his resting place and seal his grave after he returned to it, to make certain no one could resurrect him through black magic.
To make sure no one could turn him into a Reanimated Corpse, like the ones that had attacked me five years ago.
“You remember,” Ethan said softly, and I could tell he was talking about so much more than me recalling what my new duties should have been.
“I’m sorry, Ethan.” Oh God, this was really Ethan.
My
Ethan. Well, not my Ethan now, but back then . . . well, not even really back then, but . . . wow, this was so weird. “I mean, I . . . You know, after that night . . .” I sucked in a frustrated breath.
My
Ethan. Well, not my Ethan now, but back then . . . well, not even really back then, but . . . wow, this was so weird. “I mean, I . . . You know, after that night . . .” I sucked in a frustrated breath.
I was so confused, shaken by how much of my old life I had locked away in my head. How could I have forgotten him? Especially considering that my memories of Monica had come back within a few months? I mean, true, he went to a private Catholic school in Little Rock, where his dad taught, so it wasn’t like I saw him every day or anything, but I should have remembered him eventually. What kind of sick cranium did I have that I would choose to remember my history with the witchiest girl I’d ever met—Settler or otherwise—but not my old best friend?
“Partial amnesia.” He shrugged. “I know. Don’t worry about it. I saw you at the bowling alley a year after the attack. I asked you what time it was even though SA told me to leave you alone until your memory came back. I was sure you’d recognize me if you saw me, but . . . you had no clue.” He stood, then stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“That must have been weird,” I said, standing up too. Of course, it was even weirder that I still remembered that day. I’d wondered why a totally cute older boy was talking to a lowly eleven-year-old.
I suddenly felt like two different people trapped in the same body and wasn’t sure if my skin was big enough to fit both of us inside.
“Sorry about the Jennifer thing. It’s just . . . a lot of people at Settlers’ Affairs have had issues with the way she’s handled this. They think she should have tried to help you recover your power sooner.” He crossed his arms. “And then to have you botch your first job because she didn’t have her act together—”
“Listen, Ethan, I took William’s information and sent him on his way by myself. Then his arm fell off and I knew Mom would be pissed so I snuck out without saying anything. Don’t blame her. I’m sure she would have shown me how to do the job if I’d stuck around.”
“It was your first job out of retirement. Don’t you think you should have asked for help before running out with a dead kid’s arm?” he asked, sounding like a full-fledged grown-up, not the prank-pulling troublemaker I used to know. Was this really the same guy who had hidden a remote-control fart machine in my backpack?
“Give me a break. I was doing the best I could.”
“No, you weren’t. I know how smart you are, and this isn’t even close to your best. I mean, bicycling through town with an arm in a garbage bag is pretty dumb, Schmeg.”
“Don’t call me that. I know what that means now, okay? And I really don’t enjoy having a nickname derived from a slang word for dirty boy parts,” I said, blushing because I’d said something dorky like “dirty boy parts” in front of the totally hot guy Ethan had become. God, this was so weird, to compare what he used to be to me to what he was now.
Which was . . . nothing. He was nothing but a zombie Settler cop, not my friend. The sooner I got that through my thick head the better.
“Fine,” he said, eyes growing colder again, like he remembered that we were strangers now too. “Just make sure you get your training up to par before your next Unsettled.”
“
If
I have a next one,” I said, hurrying on before he could argue with me. “I will. I’ll talk to Mom as soon as I get home.”
If
I have a next one,” I said, hurrying on before he could argue with me. “I will. I’ll talk to Mom as soon as I get home.”
“Good, because I have bigger things to worry about than cleaning up your messes.
Reverto terra
.” As he spoke the last two words he twisted his hand toward the grave behind me. I turned just in time to see William’s arm sinking into the earth.
Reverto terra
.” As he spoke the last two words he twisted his hand toward the grave behind me. I turned just in time to see William’s arm sinking into the earth.
Reverto terra
, return to earth. Crap, why couldn’t I remember that before?
, return to earth. Crap, why couldn’t I remember that before?
“I already sealed the grave before you got here—I was just waiting on the arm.” Ethan pulled a set of keys from his back pocket and disarmed the security system on a very smooth BMW Mini Cooper parked a little farther down the street from where I’d thrown my bike. I guessed the Protocol job must pay rather nicely since Ethan and his family had been a little strapped for cash back in the day.
“I’ve got to go. I can give you a ride as far as the high school football field if you want,” he said, triggering my curiosity again.
Why was he going to my school’s football field? He was three and a half years older and he’d never even gone to CHS, so there was no way he’d be visiting for nostalgic reasons. Was there some sort of supernatural Settler weirdness going down at Carol High?
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