You Can't Choose Love (13 page)

           
Hair wrapped in a towel, the pale redhead runs down the stairs in just a
t-shirt and shorts. She makes it half way down the wooden steps in the old
house when her dad screams her full name.

           
“I know, I know. Walk don’t run,” Ashton concedes. No matter how old they get,
their pop still gets after them.  She couldn’t help it. She was excited.
She heads to the kitchen where her father is having toast and reading a paper
that lays on the table.

           
Ashton digs through a kitchen drawer.

           
“What’s you looking for in such a hurry, Pumpkin?” her dad asks without looking
up from his paper.

           
“A knife.”

           
“Well, play nice with your sister,” her dad jokes in a dry manner.

           
“It’s for a package I got.”

           
“Oh yeah, that. It’s in the den.”

           
A tan box with the label Main Street Hobby stamped on the side sits on a table
that’s in the den. Not too far from the box is the radio that Ashton used
before being abducted. Ashton excitedly rushes into the den with a Swiss Army Knife
from the kitchen. She plops down on a wooden chair and brings the box closer.
She flips open one of the blades on her Swiss Army Knife to cut open the box.
She finds the crease and stabs it as she pulls it toward her. She breaks
through the tape. She then turns the box over to the other side and pulls the
knife down the box quickly.

 She almost slices her fingers off. Blood gushes
everywhere.  She holds her hand up to slow the bleeding and rushes back to
the kitchen, still holding her hand.

 Her Dad looks worried.
“You okay, honey? What happened?”

“Box attacked me, Pops,”
Ashton jokes, then turns on the kitchen faucet.  She feels a slight pain
in her stomach and a tingling sensation throughout her body. She’s been feeling
it more and more.

“Well, wash it real good and
put that brown stuff over the cut.”

“I know, Dad. I know, “Ashton
says as she watches the blood mix with the water as it rinses down the kitchen
sink. Large amounts of blood continue to fall and it all washes away. 
That’s odd. She can’t find the cut. “Where did the blood come from, then?”

Faith skips into the kitchen.
“So, what’s going on?”

“Your sis sliced her hand
open.”

“Eww, let me see!”

“There ain’t nothing to see.
I can’t find the cut.”

“You are a freak. Dad, Ash is
an alien,” Faith jokes.

Ashton has a flashing thought
of Orion. Then she thinks about her belly. She starts thinking about her
unusual appetite. She starts to wonder if those things are all related. Even
this cutting her hand and it not showing a cut may be a sign of something more.
She pretends like everything is all right, even though her mind is
racing.  She grabs her box and heads upstairs.

Just past the horse stable
and near a small wooden structure Ashton pushes a wheel barrel containing large
feedbags. She stops and wipes sweat off her forehead with her oversized
t-shirt. She grabs her gloves from the back of her faded jeans and places them
on. She grabs a feed bag with as much strength as she can muster and drops the
bag of pig-feed into the troughs. She yelps a “Come get it” sound. Oinks and
squeals rush to the food troughs. She watches and laughs at the pink hungry
creatures practically climb over themselves to eat every morsel of food.

“You guys have an appetite
like I do,” she jokes out loud. She picks up the remaining bag and places it in
a barrel at the end of the fenced-in pigs. Ashton craves food but knows she
needs to give it a break.

“If I’m ever going to woo
anyone, I gotta stop eating like you oinkers.” She’s starting to see a
noticeable belly and having to wear larger shirts and sweaters to cover it
up.  As if craving food 24-7 wasn’t bad enough, now she has an odd craving
for pie. It’s almost as if she can smell it.

“Yoouuu Whooo. Any one
there?” belts out an unnerving voice from near the house.

Ashton pushes her wheel
barrel to the fence and heads over to see where the voice emanated from.

“Youuu Whooo.”

Ashton walks around the horse
stable and toward the house to see Miss Reynolds and a younger girl at her side.
Miss Reynolds is holding a pie. Until recently, her dad didn’t much care for
her. He’d always say she had more makeup than sense, which may have been true.
You got the feeling it added at least a pound to her weight. Ever since the
fair, she’s been coming over more and more. Her dad seems to have a little more
pep in his step. Upon seeing her, Ashton tries to walk away, but is spotted.

“Oh, there you are!”
She spots Ashton before she can hide. Ashton reluctantly turns around.

“Oh, hey Miss
Reynolds! I didn’t see you there.”

“Oh, was just coming
by to bring y’all and your dad some lemon meringue pie.

“That’s awfully kind
of you.”

“Is your Dad here?”

“He’s out in the crop
fields at the moment. He should be back soon. He’s just checking on the guys.
Feel free to wait inside if you’d like.”

“Thank you, dear. If
you’d be so kind. This is my niece, Helen. She heard you had a newborn foal.
Can she see him?”

“Of course, but only
if you save me a piece of that pie,” Ashton jokes, but is almost serious about
it. She signals for the young girl to follow her.

“So you like horses?”

“Yep. I’ve always
wanted one. Daddy says they eat too much.”

“Well I eat too much
but they let me stay.”

“You’re funny.”

“Thanks.”

“What’s the baby’s
name?”

Ashton was a little
shocked at the question. She wondered if the girl was talking about her belly.
She didn’t think she looked pregnant but she was getting a little paranoid.

“Oh I’m not pregnant
just been having lots of food cravings”

“Not you silly. The
baby foal.”

“Oh, uh. Just kidding
its Galaxy.”

“That’s neat. I like
learning about space stuff in School. I love looking at all those stars up
there.”

“Hmm. Me too Helen. Me
too.” Ashton pulls back a lever releasing the lock on a fence near the horse
stable. They pass a few horses in a nearby fence.

“What type of horses
are those?”

“Those are geldings.”

“What’s a gelding?”

“Well, uh, that means
their little boy parts are cut off. “

“Ouch!”

“Ouch Indeed.”

They walk to the
fenced in horse yard holding Autumn and Galaxy. Galaxy is trotting near her
mother.

“Awee. That’s Galaxy.”

“Yep”

“How long was Autumn
pregnant with her?”

“Over 350 days.”

“Wow that’s a long
time to be pregnant? How did you know she was pregnant?”

“Well, all the female
animals show signs.”

“Like what?”

“Sometimes it’s as
simple as a change in appetite.” Ashton says as she realizes there may have
been many signs that she may be pregnant. She has fleeting thought of all her
eating. She has racing thoughts of her belly and constant tingling feeling. Her
thoughts race. If she was pregnant it couldn’t be from Bobby. It must be with
her Alien Abductor. She’s thought about him every night. She’s even looked for
any signs of him in the night skies with her new telescope. But to no avail.
Just a few falling stars and planes.

She nervously sits in the
front waiting area, flipping through a
Field and Steam
magazine. She
glances around the musty room and notices the wall paper decorated with ducks and
birds of various types. A plastic mounted fish that sings and dances with the
push of a button hangs on the wall next to medical diplomas that may be older
than the town itself.  She feels a quick pain in her belly and looks down
toward it. She places her hand over it and the pain goes away.

An older lady with thick
glasses and gaudy hat holds a cat in a waiting chair nearby. The cat kind of
resembles her. She barley blinks as she waits. Then out of nowhere she talks to
Ashton.

 “What are you hear for?”

“uhm just a check up. You?”

“My pussy is a little under
the weather.”

Ashton looks over at her cat,
and doesn’t know what to say in response.

“Now Doreen? What did I tell
you?”

“You don’t take care of animals?
I know I know? But she likes you way better than the vet.”

“Good bye Doreen. Come by
when it’s you that needs a fixing okay.”

“Okay doc.”

 “Ashton, what brings
you by?” asks a soft raspy voice. A white jacket and stethoscope drape over the
gray-haired doctor with a curved back. “Why, I remember delivering you and your
sister to your lovely mother, God bless her soul.”

Ashton smiles.

“I remember one year when
your sister got a nasty cut on that bike, and it seemed not too long after you
fell off your horse and had to be checked out. Always competing with each other
I guess. They say trouble always comes in twos. So speaking of troubles what
brings you in today?”

“Just been having some
symptoms I’d like you to check out.”

“You got the flu, maybe some
nasal stuff. That’s been goin’ around like wild fire. So has some other things
that we shall not speak of, but a little penicillin will clear that right up.”

 “I think I might be
pregnant”

“Oh well, that’s been goin’
around too. Well let’s get you all settled in the back and we’ll find out for
sure.”

Ashton gets undressed in the
back and the doctor’s assistant (his wife) gives her a medical gown to wear.
Ashton makes her way to the medical table and lays on her back. She never liked
sitting naked on these things, being poked and prodded while being asked to do
random actions. “Stick out your tongue as far as you can and say,
‘Ahhhhhhh’.  Good, now take a deep breath in and out for me.”

The doctor comes in with
large glasses that make his eyes look even larger. “So, I’m guessing you’ve
been sexually active or you wouldn’t be coming here asking to see if you’re
pregnant.”

The assistant watches on as
if ready to judge.

“Yes.”

“How often?”

“Just once…weeks ago.”

“Well, it only takes just
once. I’m guessin from this visit you weren’t using any protection?”

She shakes her head no. Each
question made her feel more and more uncomfortable. She felt like she was
talking to her grandfather about sex. This was almost as bad as her dad
fumbling through his explanation of the birds and the bees. That talk ended
with her dad explaining any boy coming near the house may be met with a shotgun
and some threatening words.

Let’s check you out and see
what we can figure out.”

           
Over about thirty minutes the doctor ran a few tests and pulled out an
ultrasound.  For some unknown reason, the ultrasound was blurry and
fritzed out around the area of the baby, but he had no doubt she was pregnant.
He congratulates her despite Ashton looking less than excited about the news.

Ashton woke up early, waiting
for her father before his daily routine. He’d normally get up, have his toast
with coffee and head out the gate at the end of the driveway to let the workers
in. Then he’d go and check on the animals, one by one, and come back with a
list of things, one by one, that Ashton needed to do. Her father would have
gladly done it himself but with his bad hand he can’t lift too many things.

Ashton’s belly is filled with
butterflies. She’s nervous and tired.  The roosters weren’t even up this
early. She look around at the kitchen while she waits. The kitchen was yellow
with wooden cupboards and shelves. Country and painted inspirational sayings
were sprinkled throughout on random items. Dishes and cups laid drying next to
the sink with a wadded up towel nearby.  The kitchen was quiet, though
Ashton’s mind wasn’t. She wasn’t going to be able to hide being pregnant
forever. Besides, when she did give birth, people would probably wonder about
the baby.

“What’s an alien baby gonna
look like, anyway?” she wondered to herself.

Ashton stares at a quote on a
painted piece of wood on the kitchen wall. “Home is where family is.” Kind of a
basic, obvious quote she thought to herself. She never paid much attention to
it. She’s grown up in this house. Her dad raised them by himself, mostly. 
She has slight memories of her mom, but they are memories based mostly on
pictures. She thinks of countless mornings with her sister and her eating at
this sturdy kitchen table…not being able to eat without saying grace. She still
remembers her sister and her as kids running around the house, always full of
energy. She looks over at the kitchen door that has marks showing how tall they
grew each year. It became a competition between her and Faith.

A “click” and the hallway
light turns on from her father’s area of the house. “He’s up,” she realizes as
her stomach starts to knot up. She’s always been the good girl…the reliable
one. Faith was always the one getting into trouble. Now she’s going to have to
tell him she’s pregnant. In recent years she’s had to help him more and more
since he hurt his hand, though she was starting to resent it a little. Faith
got to do whatever she wanted she thought to herself.

“Hey pumpkin.”

“Hey Pops. The coffee is
ready for you.”

“Thanks, honey,” says the
weathered farmer in his overalls. He heads over and pours himself a cup with
his good hand.

The silence in the room is
more deafening than usual. Every step, every shift in the seat is
amplified.  The crickets seem to get louder and louder. Her father sits
and reads a hymnal while drinking his steaming hot coffee. Even Ashton’s voices
get louder in her head. “Do I tell him? Do I not? What will he think? Will he disown
me? Do I mention Orion? Will he even believe me?”

“Pumpkin?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“You okay? You seem to have
the weight of the world on your mind…or at least on your face.”

“Oh, ummmm. Well… Just wondering
if you wanted breakfast?” She asks, chickening out of what she really wanted to
say.

“That would be nice,
pumpkin,” He says after taking another sip of coffee.

Ashton heads to the green
fridge and pulls out a couple of eggs and other items to make breakfast. She
places each item on the counter and keeps looking back to her dad, waiting for
the right time to say something.

“So, how’s that Booo Bee
fella? You still seein’ him?”

“It’s Bobby, and no.” Ashton
pulls out an iron skillet from the bottom cabinet. She turns the heat up on the
gas grill of the stove.

“That’s a shame. He had quite
an arm, though to be honest, he didn’t seem too bright to me.”

“Just wasn’t meant to be.”
Ashton smiles and grabs a jug of orange juice from the fridge and pours herself
a glass.

“Probably best. Heard from
Miss Calahaan that he was caught naked doing something gawd awful to some
football post.”

Ashton practically spits out
her orange juice after the first sip. She cleans it up and cracks an egg to put
on the skillet. The skillet sizzles.

“Autumn Spirit and her filly
are doing well. The filly has tons of energy. Reminds me of you and your
sister.”

“Dad…Pops,  I’m
pregnant,” Ashton says. as if triggering a small explosion. She squints after
saying it, waiting for the reaction. Her dad hasn’t spanked her in years, but
she can’t help but flinch.

She glances over to see him
staring at the window. His face is getting flushed red. He doesn’t say
anything.

“Well?”

“Well, nothing. What were you
expecting me to say?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t
thinking that…”

“You weren’t thinking. That’s
the problem.”

“I wasn’t thinking that I
could keep this a secret much longer.”

“Who’s the father? Is it that
no good Bobby can’t-keep-my-pants-on quarterback?” Her dad continues to get
red.

“No, Dad.”

“I expected this from your
sister, but not you. How you going to help on the farm while you’re…”

Ashton gets angry. It’s not
about her getting pregnant. It’s about her not being able to help on the farm.
What if she didn’t want to help on the farm anymore? Would she ever have the
choice to leave? “That’s what this is really about.”

“Don’t go changing the
subject.”

“I’m not. This isn’t about
me, it’s about you,” Ashton fires back. “You’re afraid. You’ve been afraid ever
since you lost Mom, and then your hand. You’ve always needed a crutch.”

“I don’t know what you got
spinning in that head of yours, but…”

“Dad, I know you. You try
your best, but you’ve been limited. Especially by your…”

“Gimp hand, just say it !
Don’t you think I wish I could be self-sufficient. In all my life I never had
to rely on anyone else. We were taught to take care of ourselves and our
family. It’s a cruel joke of the universe that I can barely do either.”

 “Dad it’s not like
that.” She stops as she has a new idea. “I noticed your walk has gotten
better.” Her father says nothing, so she continues. “Something magical and
confusing has happened to me. You’ll never believe it, but it’s not all a bad
thing. Ashton walks to her father and takes his gimp hand. She feels her blood
rush and tingling all over like she did when she cut her own hand.

“What are you doing, Ashton?”

“Pops, just look”

“It’s bad enough you’re
pregnant. Now you are throwing my disability in my face.”

During this whole argument
Ashton forgot about the eggs. They were starting to smoke. The fire detector
goes off. Her father pushes her out of the way and grabs the skillet with one
hand and turns the faucet on with the other. Smoke fills the room as the fire
dissipates.

Faith comes rushing
downstairs to see the commotion. “What the heck is going on down here?” She
shouts as she comes into the smoke-filled room with the small plastic fire
alarm blaring. “Pops, your hand!” she shouts.

He looks over and notices his
gimp hand now working. It holds the skillet, while the other is on the faucet.
He drops the skillet into the sink and pulls his hand in front of his face.

“It can’t be. It can’t be. I
can feel it. I can move it,” he says as he moves each finger and thumb. 
“How…How Ashton?”

“You are both going to need
to sit down so I can tell you.”

           
Ashton paces back and forth trying to find the right words to explain something
so irrational. Faith is excited. She’s normally the one in trouble and having
to get out of it. It was fun seeing Ashton finally as the bad girl.

           
“Just spit it out Pumpkin. Whatever it is you have to say can’t be any crazier
than me getting the feeling back in my hand.”

           
“Well right before the Fair and the stock yards I was having a real bad night.”
Ashton continues to tell them about the night after the lake, how she reached
out on the radio. How she ran off into the fields and the beam of light. Faith
and her father sat bewildered. They would never in a million years have
believed her had she not just healed their father.

           
“So, basically you’re saying you got abducted by a UFO in a field while naked
and were seduced by an amazing hunk of alien, and now your pregnant…and going
to have little alien babies,” Faith says in a very unbelievable tone.

           
“Yep, pretty much.”

The room is quiet. They all start to laugh.

           
“That’s absurd, but I guess we have to believe you. That might explain the crop
circles the other day, I figured it was the miller brothers again. They’re
always prankin and cow tipin” Ashton’s father says.

           
“Always have to one-up me, sis. I don’t think I can top getting laid by someone
from another planet. Does he have a brother?” she jokingly asks.

           
“Now that your hand’s better, you won’t need me as much on the farm, Pop.”

           
“I didn’t realize I put so much burden on you.” He goes and puts both hands
around his daughter and gives her a big hug.  “It’s going to take me some
heavy drinking and prayin before I know what to say or how to understand what’s
going on, but you’ve never been one to lie. Besides I never would have believed
you if you said I’d use my hand again. I guess I’ll have to put aside what I
believe and no for now. I love you both and want the best for you both.”