You Got Me (2 page)

I decided to head up to the roof. I often went up there when I couldn't go to my room. Nobody was ever up there, and the solitude was kind of nice.

I had 2 hours until football practice, which gave me just enough time to finish my homework. Hopefully Gary wouldn't bring anymore girls back after that so I could actually get some sleep tonight.

When I opened the door to go out on the roof, I heard music. At first I thought it was a radio, but then I saw a girl from behind. She was sitting with her legs crossed, playing an acoustic guitar. I didn't want to eavesdrop, but I couldn't turn away.

In your eyes, I'll never be right

The demons inside, they eat me alive

The pain I feel, reminds me of you

This monster I am, it's because of you

I'll never be ok

I'll never be alright

I wish somebody could heal me

I wish somebody would save me

I don't wanna be a monster

But I'll always be a monster

Her lyrics were very dark, but there was so much emotion in her voice. I had a sudden urge to talk to her. I needed to know who it was singing.

I walked up behind her, and she jumped when she saw my shadow.

“I didn't mean to scare you,” I told her, as she looked up at me. “I'm Aiden.”

She stared up at me for a moment, not saying a word. The pain in her smoky green eyes were evident, and I wondered who had hurt her so badly. On her left arm, there were words written in black ink, but they were too small to read. She had a strip of pink on the right side of her hair, and I liked it. It suited her.

It took the girl almost a full minute, but finally, she spoke back. “I'm Roxy.” I decided her voice was just as beautiful as the rest of her.

“
Do you come here often?” I asked, and she actually laughed. I blushed when I realized I had just used the cheesiest pickup line ever. “That was cheesy. I'm sorry. Let's start over.” I stuck out my hand. “I'm Aiden.”

“
Hello, Aiden. I'm Roxy.” She accepted my handshake. When she did, I looked at the writing on her arm.

I'm priceless. I'm beautiful. I'm smart.
The words were written over and over again. Around the writing, her skin was bright pink, and I could tell she must have pressed down really hard when she wrote it. Quickly, she pulled back her arm.

“
I should probably go,” she said, putting away her guitar.

“
Don't go. Please. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

She turned towards me again. Her guitar was sitting inside the case, but it wasn't in her hand. I was relieved that she wasn't leaving. I didn't know why it was so important to get her to stay, but it was. I had to know more about her.

“Do you want to go get some coffee?” I asked.

I could see the hesitation in her eyes, but she said, “Sure.”

TWO

ROXY

“
Back again?” April, the blonde girl working at the coffee house asked. She was used to me coming in 4 or more times a day. She handed me my coffee, and then turned towards Aiden to get his order.

After paying, we went and sat down. It was emptier than it was earlier, which made me glad. It always made me uncomfortable to be in a crowded place for too long. We sat at a booth in the back, far away from the door. That made me feel uneasy, but I tried not to let it show. I couldn't help but be anxious. I did not want to be here. I just wanted this stupid challenge to be over with.

“How long have you played guitar?” Aiden was the one to start off the conversation. I was annoyed. I was supposed to be the one asking questions, not him.

“
Three years. I started playing when I was 16. I spent four months in the hospital, and I was bored a lot,” I answered.

“
Why were you in the hospital?” he asked.

Oops.
“Umm...” I shook my head. “I don't really want to talk about it.” I paused for a second. “What about you? What do you... umm... do?” I wasn't really sure how to have a conversation with somebody that wasn't Steve and Emily, or my shrink. I knew that I had made it awkward. I definitely needed to work on my people skills. He didn't seem to mind, though.

“
I play football. I am here on a scholarship,” he answered.

I mentally rolled my eyes, and forced a smile. Of course he's a jock. Nobody was naturally that muscular. “What position?” I asked, remembering the challenge. I really didn't care.

“Wide receiver,” he answered. I could hear the pride in his voice, and it was obvious that he was very proud of his accomplishment. “Are you here on a scholarship?”

I shook my head. “My grades were barely good enough to come here. I'm sure I would have gotten rejected, but Steve... or umm... my... dad... he's an affiliate. I think they let me in because of him. He's paying for my tuition. I used to struggled a lot in high school, with my grades.”

I wanted to smack myself. Why was I telling this stranger about me? I was supposed to be asking about him.

“
What's your major?” I asked quickly before he could respond to my ramble.

“
Math, with a minor in education,” he answered. “I love math, and eventually want to be a teacher.” His blue eyes met mine, and I swear my heart sped up. I hoped that I wasn't about to have a panic attack. “What's your major?”

“
Social work,” I answered, easily. I've known what I wanted to be ever since I was 16, and I was very confident with my decision.

“
Wow, that's a rough field,” he commented. “I would be depressed, working with troubled kids like that.”

I nodded, looking away. If he only knew I was one of those troubled kids. “I want to make a difference.”

“What made you choose that field?” he asked.

I cleared my throat. There was no way I could answer that question, so I decided to change the subject. “Where are you from?”

“Heart, Alabama,” he answered, proudly. “What about you?”

“
Chicago.” Geez, my mouth needed a filter. “I moved to southern Alabama with Steve and Emily... or... er... mom and dad... when I was 17. It's where my dad is from.”

“
Wow, Chicago,” his eyes lit up. “Do you miss it?”

“
No.” I loathed everything about my life in Chicago. I never wanted to go back there, ever again. Not that I could tell him that.

“
I don't blame you. The Cubs kind of suck,” he joked. The conversation was getting heavy, and was making me feel awkward. I was glad that he lightened it up. “Do you visit your parents often?”

“
I go home once a month, but they come up for lunch every other week. They like to check up on me. I also talk to them everyday.”

He looked a little sad. “I don't get to see my family much while I'm here. I can't really afford to drive home.”

I could relate to him. Before I was adopted, food stamps were the only reason I got to eat, and even then I sometimes went days without food. I often wore donated clothing, or I got them from Goodwill. I didn't even consider college as an option for me until Steve and Emily.

“
Any siblings?” he asked.

I shook my head. Thank God my real mom didn't have another child. I'd hate for somebody else to have gone through what I have. I always wondered why Steve and Emily didn't have another kid, but I figured I was probably enough for them.

AIDEN

Roxy was very hard to talk to. Not that I wasn't trying, I was... She was just very quiet and seemed to shy away from the topic of herself. There was so much I wanted to know about her, so much that she was scared to say... Who caused the pain in her eyes? Even when she smiled, which wasn't often, I could tell that it was forced. It hurt to see somebody try so hard at living.

She kept asking me lots of questions, and I answered them gladly. I told her about my family. She looked excited when I told her about Aaron and Grace. I could imagine that being an only child would be lonely. My brother and sister definitely made my life more interesting.

“I'm sorry you don't get to see them often,” she said, her voice was soft, and I could tell that she was genuinely sad for me. I knew that she would make an excellent social worker. She had so much compassion.

“
Sometimes in life you have to be away from those you love,” I smiled. “I miss them like crazy, but it'll all be worth it.”

I couldn't wait until I graduated, got a good job, and moved my mom and siblings out of that tiny trailer. My mom was literally working herself to death, and I couldn't have that. Maybe once I got a job, she could even go back to school and get her GED.

“It must be nice to have such a close family. I can't say that I've ever missed somebody before.”

She was distant as she talked, and I could tell that she was lying. Who did she miss? A boyfriend, maybe? The thought of her having a boyfriend instantly made me jealous.

Surprised by my thoughts, I almost choked on my coffee.

“
So what do you do for fun?” she asked.

“
Between school and football, there isn't a lot of time for fun,” I answered honestly.

“
There has to be something you do besides school work and football,” she pushed the conversation forward, but still, she was trying way too hard. I wondered for a moment if she had any friends. Nobody should have to work this hard to have a normal conversation. “What do you do to unwind?”

I thought for a minute. “Well, I talk to Aaron every night. That's pretty much the highlight of my day. I also like the quiet time I get on the roof. I go up there often.”

“Me too. It's so peaceful up there. Sometimes at night, I go up there and just lay on the roof, staring at the stars.” Roxy's words were so deep, and her eyes were full of emotion. I knew then that she was a very passionate person.

“
I'll have to check out the stars sometime,” I said, longing to see them. “I'm surprised I haven't seen you there before. I didn't think anybody else even knew how to get up there.”

“
Well, I like to be alone, and my roommate always has her boyfriend over. I go up there to get away from them.” She blushed, and I decided it was a good look for her.

I laughed, because I could totally relate to her. “My roommate likes to have visitors too.”

She shrugged. “It's kind of annoying. I've never had a visitor, so I just assumed she would be courteous and kick him out every once in awhile.”

“
You've never had a visitor?”

Her face once again turned red. “Well... No.” She looked at the time on her phone. “I really need to go. I have an... appointment.”

“I didn't mean to make you run off. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” I apologized, but I was thinking,
please, don't go.

She shook her head. “It's not you... I promise... I do have an appointment, and I can't be late.”

I looked at the time and realized I was late for football practice. I wanted to protest, but the coach was going to be furious, so I let her go. “Goodbye, Roxy.”

“
Bye,” she waved as she quickly headed for the door.

I ran to football practice. I ended up only being 5 minutes late, but the coach still made me run 10 laps. It was worth it.

ROXY

I walked into Dr. Lewis' office exactly 10 minutes late. I felt panicked. I absolutely hated being rushed, and when I ran late that was exactly how I felt. I rubbed my arms as I ran into her office. I desperately needed a pen. I wanted to write on my arms so bad.

“
Sorry,” I said, sitting on the couch. “I lost track of time.”

Dr. Lewis looked at me, and actually smiled. I was
never
late. Ever. “How did the challenge go?”

I could feel the heat rush to my face. “It went
fine,
” I said quickly, wishing that she wouldn't want to talk more about it, but I knew she would. She was my therapist for goodness sakes, it was her job to make me talk about it.

“
Tell me about this person who has you so...
flustered
,” she smiled even bigger.

Ugh, this sucks.
“I'm not flustered because of him. I just... I was running late, so I ran...” I stuttered off my lame excuse, but the truth was, Aiden did have me
flustered.
I wanted to forget about the blonde haired, blue eyed boy, but I knew it would be an impossibility. “Anyway...  My challenge was fine. I mean, I hated it, but I guess it wasn't so bad.” Once I realized what I said, I knew that it made absolutely no sense.

“
How did you meet
him
?” She asked.

So, I spilled. I went through the whole story, starting with how I was freaking out in the coffee shop, and how I went to the roof to play, and how he came out there and started talking to me. I told her about our conversation, and what I learned about him. I also told her that I told him a little about me. I was actually surprised when the session was wrapping up.