You Had Me At Christmas: A Holiday Anthology (12 page)

The peg snapped. He shoved it in his pocket. “Why did you never tell me? I could have gotten the son of a bitch fired.”

“I felt too humiliated.” The smallness of her voice only stoked his inner rage.

“Dimity would have fired him.”

Matching a sock with its mate, Kayla gave a humorless laugh. “Why single him out?”

“What do you mean?”

“It wasn’t just one incident that screwed with my confidence. I’m not that fragile.” Anger colored her tone for the first time. She shrugged again. “Though maybe I am. I keep telling myself I’m over it, but…” She reached for a towel and he flicked it out of her hands.

“Kayla, talk to me.”

She huffed out a frustrated breath, picked up another towel. “On tour, so few people could hide their surprise when they met me. They expected you to have a matching wife, leggy and beautiful. Then they’d learn we’d hooked up in high school and nod, as though that explained it.”

She added the folded towel to the neat stack on the washing machine. “I’m the chubby chick you married before you knew any better. Your starter wife. And before you get all enraged I
know
that’s bullshit and you don’t think that way, but—”

“It still hurts.” He added his folded towel to hers. “Kayla, I’ve been there.”

She snorted.

He folded his arms. “‘You’re a
musician
, Jared? Tell me a hit you’ve written that I’d be familiar with.’ With every passing year the guys we went to school with were making money, building
real
careers. I could see them wondering, ‘How did such a dynamic woman wind up with such a loser?’ I told myself it didn’t matter, because it didn’t matter to
you
. But it still fucking hurt.” He glanced at his son, who grinned at him and offered another peg. “Thanks, buddy.”

Kayla was staring at him. “You never talked to me about it.”

“And be a whiner in addition to a loser? Hell, no. Besides, you might have decided, ‘Hey, you’re right’ and divorced me. So yeah, I understand how you feel. Know how I dealt with it?”

He gave her the peg and accepted a third from Rocco. “I’d say to myself, ‘Yeah but she chose
me
. There’s something about
me
that beats anything these other guys have to offer, even if I can’t always see it.’”

She turned the peg, a lurid green, over in her hands. “I know I’m beautiful in your eyes. I know that it’s shallow and bullshit and I shouldn’t let it affect my confidence.”

Empathy drove out anger. She was really stuck in this.

“My opinion doesn’t matter if
you
don’t believe it.”

“I’ve read the studies, guys are visual.”

“One hundred percent,” he agreed. “When you glance at me through your lashes, when you dance, when you walk, when I watch you draw breath, I’m totally turned on.”

Her mouth curved in a smile, she shook her head. Mixed messages. Jared decided to go with his gut.

“I’m not going to be the understanding husband on this.”

“You’re not?”

“Nope, I’ve been telling and showing you that you’re gorgeous practically from the moment I set eyes on you. So get your head together, because I want the old Kayla back—the bold, beautiful woman who skinny dips in our pool in summer, who enjoys sunbathing naked and who believes she’s sexy in sweats because she fucking is.”

Rocco held out a peg. Maybe this was his version of a swear jar.
I’ll stop now, buddy, I promise
.

Kayla’s face was inscrutable.

Jared resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her until she saw sense. Instead he kept his tone stern. “You have me on the leash, woman, always have. Stop trailing it behind you and tug it.”

He didn’t allow her to speak. “Okay, that’s all I have to say. I’m leaving for Moss and Seth’s house to write songs, and then I’ll see you at the hotel. Bring your A game.”

He kissed his son lightly on the head, kissed his wife hard on her mouth, and walked out to say goodbye to Maddie, hoping to hell he hadn’t blown all his good work of the past nine days.

“F
irst off,” Kayla
began when Jared’s cell went to message. “I’m okay. I was in a minor car accident.” Her voice wobbled, which surprised her, because she really was okay.

“An elderly lady outside the drugstore hit her accelerator instead of the brake and banged into my car.”

A miracle, the tow truck driver called it. Kayla’s door had been so crushed that she’d had to wriggle her hand free from the steering wheel.

“I’m in the ER waiting for X-rays on my wrist, but they’re pretty sure it’s only a sprain. The good news is that our insurances are up-to-date for car and medical.” A joke would make up for the wobble in her voice.

“The bad news is this is going to take a while so you’ll have to attend the awards party without me. And yes, I insist you go. The publicity is hugely important for your career.”

She stepped to one side of the hospital corridor to let an orderly wheel a gurney past, trying to think of anything else he needed to know. “Don’t panic when I don’t answer my cell. It was damaged in the accident and I’m on a borrowed one. I’ll catch a cab to the hotel when I’m done.” She stopped and swallowed. That wobble wasn’t going to sneak up on her again. “I’m bringing my A game, so bring yours. I love you.”

Cutting the connection, she returned to the waiting room and gave the cell to the middle-aged woman who’d lent it to her.

“Thanks, Dawn, I appreciate it, and for watching my suitcase.” She resettled in her chair. “Any update on your mother?” Dawn was the daughter of the old lady who’d caused the accident.

“They think her new medication might have had something to do with her confusion.” Dawn laid her hand on Kayla’s arm, the one in the makeshift sling, and she tried not to wince. “Listen, do you need anything before I go back to her? I could buy you a coffee, food.” She was a nice woman, terribly apologetic about what had happened.

“No, I’m good now I’ve made that phone call.”

She had stopped at the drugstore for a new pair of tights and was checking her cell’s GPS for the best route to the downtown hotel, when the other car slammed into her SUV.

She was starting to shake again remembering it, and she didn’t want Dawn upset. So she said goodbye and wheeled her suitcase into the bathroom, where she splashed cold water on her face. Soon as she got to the hotel, she’d call the babysitter and check on the kids. Briefly, she closed her eyes and gave thanks. It could have been so much worse.

Her situation improved forty-five minutes later, when a tech took an X-ray. “No fracture. A nurse will strap up your sprain and you’re free to go.”

She returned to the waiting room. Now she knew her wrist wasn’t broken, she felt comfortable wiggling her fingers inside the sling. She glanced at the wall clock. Six p.m. The limo would have collected Jared from the hotel and be transporting him to the events center for the party, where he’d meet up with Dimity, Moss and Seth as support crew.

Happy anniversary, babe.

He’d texted her the message an hour after he’d left her, obviously remembering he hadn’t said it yet. And she’d returned it, though she’d still been ambivalent about his tough love approach. But none of that mattered a damn now.

A red-headed nurse came to get her, apologizing for the delay. “Is there someone with you? You’ll need a driver once I’ve strapped you up.”

“I’ll be taking care of her.”

Unable to trust her ears, Kayla turned. Her husband stood there in a tuxedo, handsome and pale. “How did you know where to find me?”

“I rang the number you called from and Dawn filled me in.” He put his arms around her, being very careful of her swollen wrist. “Oh, honey.”

The rough tenderness in his tone made her throat tighten. “I’m okay.” But her uninjured arm snaked under his dinner jacket and around his waist, mainlining into comfort, into warmth, holding tight. Pressing her cheek against his starched dress shirt, she could hear his heartbeat, too fast. “I’m okay,” she reassured his heart.

He said nothing, kissing the top of her head, her forehead. Smoothing her hair. His intensity spoke for him.
It wasn’t bad. But it could have been.

She let out the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. “I’m so glad you’re here.” No pretense. He’d given her a gift and she was accepting it.

He gave her a little shake. “Of
course
I’m here.”

“Right.” The nurse smiled at them. “Let’s bandage that wrist.”

“Wait.” Kayla checked the wall clock and made calculations. “If you leave now, Jared, you’ll still make it.” She’d knocked his bow tie askew. She straightened it with her good hand. “How long does it take to get to the Milo Center from here?” she asked the nurse.

“Twenty minutes.”

“Are you crazy?” Jared growled. “I’m not letting you wait in a hospital alone.” He was genuinely pissed.

Her heart lifted. “You’re right, what was I thinking. Where else would you be? At a Grammy nominee’s party? Phh, this is way more fun. At something that could help your future music career? Phh again. Way more important to hold your wife’s hand while she gets a wrist sling.”

“You need me,” he said with total conviction.

“I didn’t know I needed you until you showed up.”

“You need me,” he prompted, arrogant, certain. “Say it.”

“Yes, I need you.”

He stroked her hair. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“I love you,” she said. “And that doesn’t describe even a little bit of how much I feel for you.”

He smiled. “Kayla, have they given you drugs?”

“Only Advil.”

Bad things would not happen if she showed him she needed him, if she revealed her insecurities sometimes. When it mattered most, he would always put her first. She
knew
that.

“Oh my God,” the nurse blurted. “You’re Jared Walker…and
you’re
the Kayla he wrote about. That’s my favorite song. My fiancé and I are using it at our wedding. I
have
to get your autograph.”

Her excitement was attracting attention, and Jared was already drawing interested glances. Kayla doubted the ER often saw a guy dressed in a tuxedo, and he had the build for it, lean and tall with wide shoulders.

“I’ll be happy to sign something for you…” Jared looked at the nurse’s name tag “…Sabrina. But can we sort out my wife first? Somewhere private?”

“Of course, I’m so sorry. You must get this constantly.”

“Pretty often,” Kayla said. They followed her to a cubicle and Sabrina became all business as she fitted a wrist splint and gave Kayla care instructions. “Ice it every few hours, wear the shoulder strap for a couple of days. Advil will help with pain and swelling.” She wanted both their autographs. “For good luck,” she said. “I want us to have what you’ve got.”

“Luck,” said Jared firmly, “has nothing to do with it. Some say it’s the hardest work you’ll ever do. Personally, I’d say that’s parenting.”

The mischief in his eyes made her remember her words at Joy Bar on their first date, when all she’d wanted for Christmas was the ‘sweet, shy guy’ she’d married.

What an idiot she’d been wanting their love to be fixed and immutable. Unchanging. That wasn’t how love worked. Like the children they’d created, love needed room to grow. Nourishment, encouragement, discipline. But if you were open to learning when to hold on and when to let go, the results could be…extraordinary.

With a deep breath, she released the last little niggle of doubt.
I’m in,
she thought.
I’m all in.

“Is your wrist paining you?” Jared said. “I can ask for stronger meds.”

“No, I’m just remembering how much you love me.”

“I do,” he said, dark eyes serious, and she heard it like the vow it was.
For all the days of my life.

When he picked up her suitcase, she said, “Let’s go to your party.”

“Babe, are you
sure
you’re only on Advil?”

“I’m serious. I’m going to the ball, Prince Charming, and you’re taking me. I have my clothes in that suitcase and I’ll get dressed in your car. Let’s hustle.”

K
ayla dressed in
the back seat of Jared’s Toyota SUV—because no one with kids got a sports car—while he drove like a bat out of hell through the L.A. night. He’d taken some convincing, but she’d been adamant.

Loosening the shoulder sling, she wriggled into the red dress he’d given her, feeding her injured wrist carefully through the capped sleeve. They didn’t have time to buy the tights she still needed, but her bare legs were toned, if not tanned. Ripping the tie out of her ponytail, she bent forward to brush it, hoping to add volume.

The first pang of doubt hit. The second came when she struggled to hold her compact mirror between her strapped fingers so she could apply fresh makeup under the weak interior light. “Maybe you should go alone.”

Jared glanced in the rear-view mirror, saw her problem, and pulled over. “We both go, or neither of us go.”

Climbing into the back seat, he fixed her makeup.

“I love being married to a nerdy metrosexual.”

“Yeah, we’re the best.”

As he moved to return to the driver’s seat, she said, “Wait.”

He looked at what she was dragging out of the suitcase and groaned.

“I swear I’ll take them off later, but Dimity said there’ll be TV cameras, and television adds ten pounds.” She unfolded the shapewear. “Be the supportive husband and help me get these on.”

Muttering under his breath, he did. As his reward, she showed him the corset at the bottom of the suitcase. “Happy anniversary.”

“Screw it,” he said, “Let’s go straight to the hotel.”

Kayla pushed him out of the car. “No way. Now drive.”

Jared had phoned ahead to let Dimity know what was happening, and when he flashed their invitation to the security guards at the gate to VIP drop-offs, they took over. Sending Jared to sit in the back with Kayla, one jumped in the driver’s seat and steered their family SUV into the line of limos waiting to drop off guests.

“How to make an entrance,” Jared commented. Stylishly soulful and sinfully handsome, his profile was unreadable as he stared out at the music fans crowded behind the barriers set up around the venue entrance. Shouts of excitement indicated the arrival of another famous music star.