Young Annabelle Series: Young Annabelle, the Truth About James, What My Heart Wants (16 page)

I shook my head,
no way
. Well, I definitely wasn’t going to speak with him, let alone attack him if he was in a group of bros, laughing it up like they were the Kings of the Hallway.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down before I turned and lock eyes with a guy I hoped to God I could hate from now on.

Please, God?

Let me hate him, let me walk past him, ignore him, pretend he doesn’t exist – even if he looks really cute today, even if he wears that baseball uniform top. I prayed as I exhaled a long, slow breath, trying to push out some of the anxiety with it.

Asshole trumps cute! Asshole trumps cute! Asshole trumps cute!
I mentally chanted as I slammed my locker shut. I stared at the front of my locker, I wished it was because I was captivated by the dark olive green color but, in truth, I was hesitating.

Come on, you can do this. Remember: asshole trumps cute, especially fake-ass assholes that don’t call!

I nodded subtly, if I could just keep reminding myself of these things everything was going to be just fine. In fact, Bitchy Annabelle was likely to make a full recovery and return with a vengeance.

Watch out, James!

Now, turn around and face the fool that dared to play you.

My legs didn’t move.

Oh shit – I can’t do this!

I shook the horrible thought away.

I adjusted my backpack, one-shouldering it. With a pasted on chill, ‘I can’t be bothered, I don’t know you, or you, or you’ expression, I turned around.

Why couldn’t I have homeroom in the opposite direction as them?
My heart tripled its beats per second. I was just going to have to do the best I could, even if it was forced.

My homeroom was in room 205. Hundreds of students crowded the hallway, filling it. I shuffled around a few before I made it to the middle of the hall where people could walk without having to stop.

Excitement filled the air, I could feel it. Everyone seemed to be on the last of the summer high. I wished I had a little bit of my summer high to float on – oh wait, didn’t somebody cruelly crush my high two weeks ago when he didn’t bother to communicate with me after sharing one of the biggest moments of my life? 

I passed room 204, wishing it was my homeroom instead; I wanted out of this hallway. A long row of lockers was all that separated me from the Kings of the Hallway. Their laughter hadn’t subsided. It was still going as I got closer to the room where I could hide and return my heart rate to normal. I stared ahead but down, I didn’t want to risk making eye contact. I was scared of what I might feel, what might happen. So I stared just a few meters in front to the side, focused and determined. The penalty for breaching my field of vision – the only protection my sanity had – would be detrimental; I might faint or have a heart attack.

This is too much pressure! Jesus! How come there’s no manual on how to act around douchebags?

I was only a few strides away from my homeroom; I felt instant joy as I spotted the numbers 205 on the door. I could hear the group’s laughter grow the closer I got to the door. I didn’t look up, I didn’t want to. Even if I was a little curious, it just wasn’t worth it.

I wished I could have stuck with my original plan. I heard the sounds of female giggling; it mixed with the laughter of the group. One of those female giggles burned my soul because it intermingled with the laughter I was most familiar with.

His voice.

I was a sucker for pain – what could I say. I looked up.

For a second or two I was bombarded by a circle of baseball caps worn backwards, sideways, and forwards. The Kings of the Hallway stood in a circle, scrunched together because of the growing crowds of students that pushed past them through the hallway. Mixed in with the bros were a few lucky ladies, their queens – or girls who expected to be their queens soon enough because they were hot. It was only five seconds before my hand would hit the doorknob that opened room 205 – my safe haven, a place free of ostentatious laughter that made every inch of my body uncomfortable.

Five seconds was too long! It should have been a maximum of two!

I blocked the faces of every single guy in the circle – a trick I’d perfected over the past few years – instead focusing solely on one person, and she was standing right next to a tall guy with nice muscles, his body leaned down a little as she whispered into his ear, making him laugh a little harder.

I recognized the voice as it cut deeply. My hand, thankfully, had reached the doorknob. I noticed that the voice stopped laughing and his body went still, the female, however, continued to whisper into his ear.

Damn you, Donna!

I turned the knob and walked into the room, closing the door behind me. I let out a sigh of relief as I enter the empty room – silence was golden.

I could breathe again!

I glanced at the chalkboard and read the message my homeroom teacher had written:

Mr. Doors

Welcome seniors

AP English, room 205

The room was completely empty, but I wasn’t the first one in here. Mr. Doors’ briefcase was laid out on his desk.

Probably getting a last minute coffee before school officially begins – oh the horror!

I chuckled to myself, thinking about my teacher stressing about the first day of school much more than his students were.

*~*~*

I chose a seat in the back row, next to the window. The bell rang and the classroom door was flung open. A trail of students stampeded in, obliterating the calm serenity I’d been enjoying.

Nothing good ever lasts,
I reminded myself as the seats were filling up.

I glanced at the doorway and a small chuckle escaped me when I saw Mr. Doors walk in with a cup of coffee in his hands, looking relieved to now have his lifeline safely tucked in his hands.

Mr. Doors was in his mid-forties and had salt and pepper hair. He was really tall; it only took him two strides to cross the room to his desk where he put down his coffee.

“Hello everyone, welcome,” he said in a loud voice as he shuffled some papers around his desk. We had another minute before the final bell would ring and class could start.

I scanned the room, which was almost packed except for one chair beside me and two in the middle. I stared at the entire front row in shock. It was full.

Why the hell would anyone want to sit up front? I thought, confused. I glanced at Mr. Doors.

Maybe he’s a good teacher.
This was my first time with him as a teacher. I hoped he was not a loony like some of the other teachers this school had on the payroll.

Hot weather will do that to you – make you go crazy!

I began to laugh as I stared out the window. The final bell rang just as some last minute student walked through the door.

“Just made it,” I heard Mr. Doors say in a sing-song voice.

“Yeah!” A familiar voice rejoiced breathlessly.

Familiar voice!
I glanced up, horrified at what I was about to witness. Everything was in slow motion. My eyes started from the feet, slowing scanning upwards over his black jeans, then to his tight blue t-shirt that showcased his body perfectly, then slowly and most horrifyingly my eyes lifted to his face and I took in his features one by one. The wind was knocked out of me like it was the first time I was seeing his green eyes and his sexy mouth.

Damn it, Annabelle! Not sexy – stupid!
I scolded myself. I couldn’t let myself fall back to the zombie I’d been for the last two weeks. I hadn’t even been in a relationship with him and he affected me like this. 

I wasn’t made to handle things like this!

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. He’d paused at the front, staring straight at me with a grim expression plastered across his face. His eyes left mine and looked to my right.

What?

He strode down the rows of desks. I kept thinking he was going to stop at one of the middle desks, but he kept coming, stopping at the desk next to mine.

Oh shit!

I felt my face begin to heat as he sat down next to me. I hadn’t been this close to him in two weeks. His scent washed over me, a mixture of cologne and shampoo. It drove me wild; I had to turn my head and stare out the window to catch my breath and compose myself.

Cool it – act cool – just relax!

I took a series of deep breaths before facing Mr. Doors, who had begun teaching. Everything was going to be okay, all I had to do was ignore the asshole to my right.

That’s all I have to do – yeah right! I think an exam on Chinese literature would be an easier task than that!

I opened my notebook and wrote down the course code at the top of the page. I positioned my head so I couldn’t see him, just the front and anything on my left. I felt him shift in his seat, his eyes staring into my side. 

It’s only an hour – Only one hour,
I reminded myself and tried to focus on Mr. Doors’ lecture.

“Hey,” I heard a whisper from my right.

Now’s the time, Annabelle. Here’s your moment to show him what’s up. To stick it up his ass for blowing you off!

I felt him lean closer, his scent wafting over to me, taking my nasal passages prisoner.

Just breathe!

But I couldn’t. If I breathed, I’d end up hyperventilating in his scent and then how would that look to him? Desperate and pathetic! He’d know I was waiting like a fool, not leaving my phone for even a minute just in case he decided to call.

I ignored him.

“Ignoring me, huh?” James chuckled.

What? You didn’t think I had it in me? Asshole!

I continued to ignore him for another ten minutes, paying attention to my penmanship and to the lecture.

“That’s a nice color you’re wearing,” he whispered, sounding smooth and flirty.

I felt my body subtly betray me. My feet were restless, wanting to bounce up and down in excitement.

I ignored him.

“Yeah, that’s a nice color. But actually it’s that shirt itself, the shape – it’s really nice.” The way he emphasized the word ‘nice’ made it sound almost dirty.

The heat in my face rose up again. If he kept going, I’d combust.

It was time to nail this puppy in the butt.

I slowly leaned back into my chair and dropped my pen into my notebook. I cleared my throat just loud enough for him to hear. I mustered every ounce of cool expression I had locked up in me. I turned my gaze to meet his. His green eyes peered down at me with an intensity that made my heart skip beats. I held my left hand over my mouth to shield it from any wandering eyes and to shield me from getting in trouble for what I was about to say.

“
Screw off,” I whispered nonchalantly. My eyes didn’t leave his until I nodded once and returned my attention to the lecture.

“Don’t be like that, Fireball.” James didn’t sound the least bit affected by my blow.

“I’m trying to pay attention, please stop talking.”

“You have to understand something.”
James exclaimed.

I scowled at him.
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Stop acting like that and I’ll tell you.”
He scowled back.

My eyes bulged out.
“Stop acting like what?”

“It wasn’t my fault. I screwed
up my phone during practice. Had to get a new one but I didn’t have your phone number anymore. That’s why.”

Jesus, how many times had he rehearsed that?

I turned disbelieving eyes on him.

“Yeah, that’s why, okay, that’s what really happened.”

“You don’t believe me?” James actually sounded offended.

I stared him straight in the eye.

“Does it really matter?” I asked. “It’s over and done with. Do your thing and don’t worry about me.” I hoped he’d take my word for it and leave me alone.

But you don’t want him to leave you alone!
I screamed silently as I turned my neck back around. This was just the way things had to be. I knew my place and he should know his. Our worlds were separate from the start, only by accident had we been brought together and whatever happened afterwards was one giant mistake.

“Calm down,” he dared to say as he leaned back into his own seat.

I gave him an incredulous look.

“You calm down –”

“What’s your problem? Always riding my ass about something I did.”

“I’m like that, bro,” I shrugged. “A big pain in the ass. Maybe you’ll keep that in mind next time you waste energy going after a girl who’ll accept you as you are.”

“Bro? We’re bro’s now?” He turned and snickered silently to himself before turning back to stare at me with a new, piercing expression.

Damn it. Damn those green eyes.

I shrugged.

“I don’t know many bros that have done the things we’ve done, Fireball,” James said, sounding amused.