Young Annabelle Series: Young Annabelle, the Truth About James, What My Heart Wants (31 page)

I squeezed his hand and smiled timidly. I hoped everything was okay. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.” James said. “I just wanted to talk to you about how we should act at school.”

“What do you mean?” I gulped.

“Well,” James stalled. “We hang out with two different groups.”

“I know.” I murmured, looking away for a few seconds before meeting his beautiful green eyes again. They were so gentle.

“Maybe we should keep it like that.” James suggested all of a sudden.

My eyes widened and I felt my heart start beating faster. “What – what do you mean? You don’t want to talk to me at school?”

“No – no that’s not what I mean, we can still talk to each other, but I think that our relationship should be a quiet one.” James explained, caressing my hand with his fingers.

“Why?” I asked, blinking uncontrollably.
I jerked my hand back. “Are you ashamed to be seen with me?”

“No!” James shouted, appalled. “No, baby, no!”

“Then why don’t you want to show this,” I pointed to us. “To everyone at school, shouldn’t your friends know that you have a girlfriend?”

“You gotta understand something. The guys I roll with, they’re not into having girlfriends or being tied down. If they find out I have a girlfriend, they’ll call me a pussy.” James explained.

Well I didn’t want him to get antagonized over me, but still, the situation still bothered me.

“What are we going to do then?” I asked him sadly, practically pouting.

“Don’t, don’t be sad.” James caressed the side of my face, tilting it with his fingers so that I was looking up. “It’s going to be fine.”

“How?” I whimpered.

“At school, you’ll hang out with your friends and I’ll hang out with mine. Then after school we can hang out.” James explained then leaned in and pecked me quickly on the lips. “It’ll be better like that.”

“Really?” I asked, unsure.

“Yeah, I think it’s for the best.” James said.

“What about other girls?” I asked apprehensively, remembering Donna and her hot girl crew. They were always around him. 

“What about other girls?”

“Well they’ll all think you’re single.” I told him worriedly.

“I’ll turn them down if that happens.” James assured.

“Really?”

“Right away.” James said.

“What about Donna?” I gulped.

“Donna?” James repeated, slightly irritated. He lifted his hat up and fixed his hair, smoothing it back. “Fireball, I told you already, if I wanted her I could have had her a hundred times by now. I’m here with you, doesn’t that say something about who I really want.”

I had to trust him. It’s the only way if I wanted this to work. I smiled at him and nodded. “Okay.”

James’s face rushed with relief. He grabbed my face again and pulled me in for a deep long kiss. “Baby, you know how much you make me happy?” He panted after pulling back.

“How much?” I giggled.

“Well, how about I show you again.” He pulled my face back towards him, and this time didn’t let me go for a very long time.

*~*~*

“What do you mean he’s your boyfriend now?” Jenna’s jaw dropped at lunch after I told her the conversation I had with James this morning.

After making out in his car, we broke apart fifteen minutes before the final bell rang. I left his car first and he followed after going to catch up with his boys in the hallway.

The
Kings of the hallway!
I laughed inwardly at the thought. And even though Donna was there with her hot girl crew hanging off of every word of the Kings, it didn’t bother me like before.

I knew that he was mine and if he had wanted her, he could have already had her. He had chosen not to, because he was into me.

Surprisingly, but nevertheless it still made me happy.
He chose me!

I cleared my throat before answering her. “I mean he’s my boyfriend now.”

“How?” Jenna asked, clearly horrified.

“We talked and came to an agreement.” I explained.

Jenna rolled her eyes. “And that is?”

“That we needed to keep our relationship private.” I informed her.

Jenna faced me and looked at me like I was crazy. “Private?”

“Yeah private.” I answered her, like ‘duh’.

She tucked her face into hands, groaning into them. “Anna!”

“What now?” I sighed, distressed. I was tired of having to explain my relationship to her.

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life!” She snapped after dropping her hands.

“Well tough!” I snapped, throwing my salad cover off. I stabbed my fork inside, spearing multiple pieces of lettuce.

“Okay – okay calm down, don’t take your anger out on the poor lettuce, they didn’t do anything to you, unlike someone else.” Jenna said.

I swallowed the lettuce and eyed her. “Jenna, you have to get over your hatred for James, he’s going to be a part of my life.”

“Then why the
fuck
haven’t I officially been introduced to him yet?” Jenna snapped. “What are you scared of? It’s not like I’m going to do anything to the kid!”

She stifled a smile, turning her head. Liar!

“That smile you’re trying to hide right now just answered your question. Not only would you scare him away, he’d probably change schools too.” I told her.

“And that’s a problem why?” Jenna asked, perplexed.

I slid my salad bowl to the side. “Jenna, I’m asking you as a friend, please, just don’t give me a hard time.”

Jenna didn’t say anything as she took her sandwich out of the Ziploc bag and took a bite. She eyed me as she swallowed her sandwich. “Whatever. But if he hurts you, he’s shark bait!”

Yes success!

I grinned, relieved out of my mind. “Thank you.”

“Ugh, what are best friends for.” Jenna groaned.

Now let’s see how long her compliance will last…

Jenna got busy eating the rest of her sandwich and talking with her swim team mates. I slid my salad back in front of me and finished it quickly. Surprisingly my stomach wasn’t growling for hunger pains anymore. The salad had filled me up. I gazed across the room finding James’s table. His friends and Donna’s were mixed together again. My eyes found him quickly at the end of their table, not surprisingly Donna was sitting next him, practically rubbing shoulders.

But that didn’t bother me. Somehow his words from this morning eased me. He wasn’t interested in her and the girl was obviously crazy about him.

Who wouldn’t be? At that moment James looked up meeting my eyes. I gave him a small smile and he gazed at me quickly with warmth in his eyes. The warmth in his eyes filled me with butterflies, but all too quickly he dropped his gaze and returned his focus back to the conversation at his table.

In an instant I felt empty, but quickly dissuaded it. This was how things had to be. Well for now at least.

CHAPTER 25

I hadn’t heard from Dean since that night, which was good, I didn’t have to turn him down if he asked me out again.

I had a boyfriend now, officially.

It was the first week of October now. James and I outside of school had spent a lot of time hanging out, kissing and laughing. Having a good time like I assumed every person in a new relationship would be. During school he hung out with his friends and I hung out with mine. We practically ignored each other except for the odd glance where his green eyes would secretly meet my brown ones. It was enough to send shivers down my spine. Jenna thought our relationship was weird and disrespectful, but I didn’t.

She didn’t get it. I didn’t want the attention that came with being next to him. So with him not interacting with me at school, turned into more of a favor than an insult.

Jenna still didn’t see it like that and as the days went by she became more and more upset at how my ‘boyfriend’ was treating me. Her compliance was short lived. But that didn’t shock me, I knew she’d crack sooner or later, that was just her nature when something annoyed her. She couldn’t keep it in for too long before erupting.

“I saw him flirting with Donna!” Jenna slammed her locker shut and scowled at me, practically blowing fire out of her nose.

She’s pissed!

I shook my head as we made our way towards the cafeteria. “Donna would flirt with the phonebook if it got her the same attention as she would with James.”

“Exactly!” Jenna screeched.

“It’s nothing, they were just talking. You know they are in the same group, they’re friends.” I informed her, shaking my head. She was being annoying again.

Jenna rolled her eyes and snorted. “Friends? Yeah okay!”

“Stop!” I hissed. She was acting like a lunatic.

“I don’t like this!” Jenna announced, loudly.

“You don’t have to like this, I do!” I yelled back just as loudly. We both looked the other way, deadly steam exuding from the both us on our way to the cafeteria.

We entered the cafeteria quietly, she broke away heading towards the restaurant. “I’m hungry. I’m going to buy a cheeseburger.”

Whatever!
I watched her walk away as I headed towards a table with some of her swim team mates. I wasn’t hungry anymore, something ruined my appetite. It’s not like I’d never thought about James and me at school and how we never talked. The last time I spoke with him on school property was in the parking lot a few weeks ago, when we were in his car hashing things out.

I blushed at the memory. Since then we’d had many moments similar but it never stretched beyond making each other feel good.

Really good.

My
body shivered as the memories excited my nerves. My line of sight as I sat down trailed across the cafeteria, stopping when it reached James’s table. The Baseball crew and Donna’s hot chick crew sat together, mixed. When I found James, my blood boiled in an instant when I saw Donna and her skanky arm draped over his shoulder tightly. Her other hand was holding out her iPhone. She pouted her lips a few inches away from his cheek, pretending to kiss him.

Thank
God it was just pretend.

James laughed at his boys, who I could hear from all the way across the cafeteria jeering him on as Donna snapped her photos.

“Yeah boy!” They laughed loudly. Donna put down the phone and dropped her pout, but her arm didn’t move from his shoulders.

Move your arm!

Why wasn’t she dropping her arm around his shoulder? She already took the damn picture. There was no need for her arm to be there anymore!

My heart began beating faster as a sickening nervous feeling enveloped deep inside my stomach. I breathed in and out slowly, hoping it would help calm me down.

But it didn’t. Her arm didn’t move, it stayed wrapped around his shoulder.

What was going on…..?

How come all of a sudden she was comfortable enough to put her arm around him? It wasn’t like this for the past few weeks. Yeah they laughed and joked around, but she was touching him now.

Touching someone who she had not right to be touching. That’s because he belonged to me.

Or so I thought….

Oh God, I was going back to that girl, the needy annoying scared girl! I didn’t want to be her, always worrying, stressing that things we’re going to go wrong.

“Well that’s just great!” Jenna hissed from behind me, sliding on to the bench beside me. “Don’t they look all nice and chummy, like a
real
boyfriend and girlfriend.”

I didn’t answer her. I was stuck in a trance. Her arm wasn’t moving. Her long auburn hair styled in waves brushed his face as she jerked it around all of a sudden and he quickly slides it away from his face, tucking the strands behind her ear.

I was going to faint.

Maybe…

“Well case proved.” Jenna said bitterly. “You can’t be that blind Annabelle!”

“Shut up.” I murmured.

“No!” Jenna snapped.

“Stop talking to me.” I pleaded, forcing myself to look away from them, anywhere but at them. I stared at the floor between my legs. “Just don’t.”

“I can’t believe you trusted that fool.” Jenna whispered, upset obvious in her voice. “You have to break it off with him.”

“Jenna, I’m begging you please!” I pleaded.

“No Anna, I’m begging you please!” Jenna pleaded, clearly exasperated.

“I need to get out of here.” I got off the bench, grabbing my backpack off the ground. “I’m going for a walk.”

“I’m coming with you.” Jenna announced.

“No, I need to be alone now.” I told her sternly as she got off the bench, stopping a few inches away.

“Yeah alone, until that douchebag decides he wants to actually talk to you at school and then it’s going to be make-out city. What’ll you think will happen this time Anna, a little action in parking lot again!” Jenna hissed loud enough so only I could hear.

I wasn’t that girl.

I just stared at her for a few seconds before turning away and walking out the cafeteria. She didn’t follow me. The silence of the hallway was welcoming and very much appreciated. I needed no noise right now. I entered a hallway knowing it was barely used during lunch time. I slid down a random locker, plopping my backpack beside me and resting my head on my knees as I took deep breaths trying to filter out all the negativity inside of me.

Her arm was still around his shoulder, even as I left the cafeteria.

What happened?

I thought we were on the same path. We went out last Sunday. We went to the movies, we talked, kissed and touched. It was Wednesday and since that Sunday we’d been texting at night. He sent me sweet texts, telling me how much he missed me, wanting to be with me in those moments so that he could hold me, kiss me, feel me.

Then today, he’s tucking Donna’s strands behind her ears delicately, intimately, as if he were her boyfriend. Wasn’t it a boyfriend’s duty to fix their girlfriends hair when it became loose? His Baseball cap fell a lot and I fixed his hair many times, especially after losing ourselves into one another inside his car.

I didn’t get it.

What was I doing wrong? I hadn’t been nagging him. I didn’t even bother him about not talking to me at school anymore. I had accepted it.

Then why?

A few stubborn tears escaped my shields, trickling down my cheeks. Thank God I was alone. But just to be on the safe side, I should go to my stall. The privacy of the bathroom during lunch was a better place to be right now.

I wiped the tears away and headed towards the bathroom.

*~*~*

Later that night, I was on my bed listening
to depressing love music on my iPod.

How things changed so fast, it was amazing. Last week today, I was so happy. Content with how things were going between us, and now I was depressed. He hadn’t even texted me yet and it was almost ten o clock at night.

I guess he’s busy.

Busy with another girl or with his friends, more important people than me. Who the hell was I, a big freaking nobody who wasn’t important, not to James at least.

My phone buzzed beside me, alerting me. I jumped in surprise, the vibrations catching me off guard.

James!

Well surprise, surprise, look who decided to communicate!  I opened the text.

Tiger:
Hey! Can you sneak out?

I couldn’t believe this guy. I’d been an emotional wreck since lunch time and I was only hearing from him now?

Annabelle:
No.

My phone beeped again a few seconds later.

Tiger:
Why not?

Annabelle:
Because I’m busy.

Tiger:
What’s your problem now!

My problem?

What an asshole!

My problem!

Annabelle:
I don’t have a problem. I’m just not feeling this anymore!

Tiger:
What?

Annabelle:
read the text again.

Tiger:
What’s wrong with you?

Annabelle:
Nothing, something’s wrong with you, that’s why you were hugging Donna!

Tiger:
Get over it, we weren’t doing anything!

Annabelle:
Don’t care, you hurt me today!

Tiger:
What?

Annabelle:
You don’t care about me!

Tiger:
Can you stop acting like a lunatic!

Annabelle:
And can you stop acting like you’re single!

Tiger:
How many times do I have to prove to you that it’s only you!

Annabelle:
When you stop touching other girls right in front of me, that’s when!

Tiger:
You know what Forget this! You’re driving me crazy

Annabelle:
That’s cool, that’s just great. Have a nice life asshole!

He didn’t text me back, which was fine by me.

I didn’t want talk to him, ever!

He disrespected me in front of my best friend today, proving her right, yet again. I didn’t need that kind of a person in my life anymore.

No more!

A few minutes later, tears trickled down my face. I curled my head into my hands and cried quietly to myself. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to prove to me that everything was going to be okay with us, even though we didn’t flaunt our relationship in front of everyone.

But he didn’t do that today and now I think we’ve just broken up because of it.

Damn it.