Young Revelations (Young Series) (50 page)

“This is a surprise,” I say, sipping from my bottle. I’m careful to keep the word “unfortunate” from the sentence, but I think Jimmy knows what I’m doing. “Samantha said you were staying a few towns away.”

“Yeah,” Jimmy responds. “I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to stay any closer.”

I raise an eyebrow. “So why are you here?” I ask bluntly.

“Thought you and I needed to clear the air a little bit,” he says.

Personally, I’ve never had the desire to clear the air with Samantha’s brother. He’s barely tolerated me from day one and on bad days, he’s threatened to bash in my skull. I know she would be happier if I got along with her brother, just as I would much prefer it if my sisters—aside from Claire—accepted her. I always assumed it was just the way things would be and I generally try not to think much about it. “If clearing the air is code for trying to talk me out of marrying your sister, you can save your breath,” I say dully. “I’m not backing down from this; you’ll just have to learn to live with it.”

“Surprisingly, that’s not what I came to do,” he replies dryly. “I’ve come to the conclusion Samantha’s going to do whatever she wants regardless of how I feel about it.”

About fucking time he figured that out.

“Look, it’s no secret I don’t like you and that I don’t think you’re healthy for my sister. I think you’re dangerous and that she’ll only end up getting her heart broken again.” I resist the almost overwhelming urge to roll my eyes at him. “She told me what really happened between the two of you when you split up, that it was a mutual decision to keep her and Tyler safe. And as much as I dislike you, even I had to admit it must have been a difficult decision for you to watch your family walk away from you.”

“Understatement,” I mutter into my beer bottle.

He goes on as though I haven’t spoken at all. “I’ve had Tom Saunders in my ear for five years telling me what a piece of shit you are for kicking them out on the streets. And I’ll admit I was ready to jump on a plane to come out here to show you how I really felt about that.”

“Why didn’t you?” I ask him. If the roles were reversed and we were discussing my sister, I probably wouldn’t have had the same restraint he has and would have landed myself in jail for murder.

“Because I decided it was better to be there for my sister,” he says simply. “It was hard watching her when she came back. It was like my mom’s death all over again when she shut everyone out.” He pauses to take a sip from his drink. “I don’t know how much she’s told you about when our mom died…”

“Not a lot,” I admit when I realize he’s asking me a question. “She’s told me enough that I know it was a really difficult time for her and that she pushed aside a lot of her plans after high school to stay at home with your family. And all of you were absolutely devastated when she died.”

“All true. And for the record, I was her biggest supporter in getting out of Iowa, and when she decided to stay behind, I tried to talk her out of it, though after a while, I stopped.”

“Why?”

He sighs. “Because I realized I couldn’t support our family on a mechanic’s salary, but with her pay and tips from the diner, we managed to scrape by.”

For the first time, I think about what happened when Samantha left her family for me. They’d been struggling with two meager paychecks and when Sam left, that income dropped, probably significantly. This might be part of the reason Jimmy hates me so much…

“Growing up, Sam was our mom’s favorite,” he recalls fondly. “And I’m not saying that as a jealous brother or anything—it was simply fact. Everything that girl did was done in my mom’s shadow. Lily and I were more interested in working outside with Dad. Anyway, Sam always had these huge aspirations about what she was going to do with her life—she was going to go to college somewhere far from Iowa. She was going to travel the world. She was going to be successful in whatever she did. I think Mom wanted that for her almost more than she wanted it. And she was on track to have all of that at the tips of her fingers. Until we lost Mom. Almost the moment she died, I watched Samantha fade away, like part of her had died the moment Mom’s heart stopped beating. She stopped caring about everything. School. Getting out of Iowa. Traveling. All of it. Her grades dropped significantly to the point our dad was having weekly meetings with her teachers. She managed to graduate, but by then, all the colleges who’d accepted her and offered her scholarships withdrew all their offers. Didn’t even faze her. She started working at the diner a couple weeks later and I really thought that was as far as she was going to get.”

I always knew most of this, but every time it comes up, I feel a pang in my heart at the thought of Samantha just giving up on all her dreams and settling for a life she never wanted. Not for the first time, I think that if Sam’s mom hadn’t died, she’d have gone off to college somewhere and I never would have met her. And not for the first time, I feel like the world’s biggest asshole for that thought.

“One morning, she came down to breakfast,” Jimmy goes on. I’m pretty sure this is the most he’s ever said to me… “Dad, Lily, and I were all staring at her because we all knew something had changed with her, but we couldn’t imagine what that something might have been. Her entire demeanor changed and she seemed to have a little bit of her old self back. A few days after that, I almost didn’t recognize her. She was happy again. Smiling and joking around with us like she did before Mom died. I found out weeks later that her sudden personality change was sparked by meeting you. I remember my dad talking about how he hoped this happiness wasn’t just a phase. He was afraid she’d realize it was just a crush she had on you and once it ended, she’d go back to the way she’d been. She kept going on and on about you for weeks and those couple days when you visited the farm…” He grins slightly, shaking his head. “I’ve never seen her that nervous. I thought she was going to have a nervous breakdown… It was actually pretty funny. She’s never been the kind of girl that put much thought to how she looked. But once you were in the picture, that changed right along with her personality.

“After that things went pretty fast and next thing I knew she’s moving across the country to live with some guy she’s only known for a matter of weeks. We all tried to talk her out of it. We didn’t know you. Didn’t know your intentions towards her. For all we knew, you were going to break her heart and send her back to us to pick up the pieces. She tried to tell me you weren’t like that and that you cared about her and that she knew what she was doing.”

“I did care about her,” I chime in quietly. “From the moment I set eyes on her, I cared about her, even if I didn’t know why. And yeah, things moved so quickly, I nearly got whiplash. I’ve never pursued a girl the way I did Sam and I don’t regret a single moment of it. I fell hard for her quicker than I thought possible.”

Jimmy nods. “Sam said the same about you,” he says. “Doesn’t change the fact that some pretty boy rich kid moved my kid sister across the country and away from her family. I think my dad was the only one who really accepted your relationship, probably because he was so relieved Sam was happy again. When you two split up and she came home, she was worse than before she met you. She had Tyler and I think he was the only thing that kept her going. I was relieved she had Tom and I thought since you were gone, she’d eventually get over you and settle down with him. The hardest part about it was that I knew she was unhappy with Tom. I saw it every time I looked at her. But I ignored it, telling myself this was for the best and it would just take time. Shows how much I know.”

I chuckle.

“And I almost had a fucking coronary when I found out she, Tom, and Tyler were staying with you. I didn’t get it; why would she go to somebody who shattered her heart into a million pieces, then never attempted to make contact for five years, not even to talk to his son? Tom came home and told us some story about Russians and how he thought you were making up how much danger Tyler and Sam were in just to get closer to her again.”

My blood boils at his words and I wish, not for the first time, that I’d punched Tom Saunders in the face when I had the chance.

“The point I’m trying to make with all this is that I’m grateful to you for giving me back my sister. She’s not like this with anyone else and I think it’s been proven she can’t be happy without you. My opinion of you hasn’t changed all that much—I still think you’re dangerous and that there is every chance in the world you’re going to break her heart again. But for some reason, she loves you more than anything and she’s willing to risk it all for you. I only hope you’re willing to do the same for her. She’s been through too much; she deserves happiness. And I swear to God, Young, if you hurt her again, you’ll answer to me. My family’s got a lot of land and I have no qualms about burying you under the corn.”

Snorting a laugh, I drain my beer. “Is this you giving me your blessing to marry Samantha?” I ask wryly.

He considers my question for a moment. “I wasn’t going to call it that, but sure. You’ve got my blessing. Sam asked me to walk her down the aisle tomorrow and at first, I wanted nothing to do with this wedding, but after she told me everything that went down between the two of you, I understood you a little more. It would kill me to let my wife and daughter walk away from me, even if they were in danger.”

“It nearly killed me,” I admit. “And I don’t think I could do it again if I had to, no matter the danger. I love your sister and I’d do anything for her. I’m not perfect by any means and I’ve fucked up, especially where Sam is concerned, but I’m doing everything in my power to fix it. I won’t give up until I do.”

“Good,” he says simply. “Just take care of her, Young. That’s all I want.”

I nod. “I will,” I promise quietly.

We sit in silence for a few minutes—there’s not really much more to say on the subject—and I’m amazed at how well this conversation has gone. I never thought I’d be able to be in such close proximity with Jimmy without the two of us throwing insults and accusations around. I’m happy to hear he’ll be walking Sam down the aisle—she hasn’t brought up the subject, but I know she was worried about not having anyone to walk with. I think if it had come down to it, Danny would have done it, but it wouldn’t be the same.

I glance over my shoulder into the kitchen and see Danny at the front door accepting and paying for a stack of pizzas, then look at Jimmy. “I don’t know what you’ve got planned tonight, but I think we’re having a Batman marathon if you want to hang around.”

Jimmy smirks. “Tyler’s idea?” he asks. I grin in response. “Sure. Sounds a hell of a lot better than sitting in a hotel room.”

As we head inside, I’m more anxious than before about getting back to Samantha. Tomorrow can’t come quickly enough, but for tonight, I think I can survive without her. Or at least I can fake it.

It’s not much of a surprise that the morning started out hectic. Within fifteen minutes of waking and realizing where I was and what today is, the doorbell rang and Bonnie entered with a huge breakfast for us. Once we had our fill, it was time to start wedding preparations. It also wasn’t much of a surprise that Claire has everything scheduled out almost to the second. The decorators arrived shortly after the hair and makeup girls, which I’m sure was intentional—apparently all the decorations are supposed to be a surprise for me. Anytime I try to sneak away for a peek out the window, I’m scolded like a child by my sister, Claire, or Bonnie. It’s become a bit of a game to help pass the time and keep my anxiety at bay. So far the only thing I’ve seen that’s been worth seeing is Claire and Danny’s van pulling into the driveway and the very briefest glimpse of Matthew. Before Claire dragged me away, I swear I also saw my brother Jimmy getting out of the van and laughing with my fiancé about something.

I shook my head and went about my primping, knowing there was no way I could have actually seen that—my brother and Matthew loathe each other… Claire disappeared for a while after that, probably to talk to the boys, but left strict instructions to the other women not to let me step foot out of the room.

“Quite the task master, isn’t she?” Lily comments, sitting down on the couch in Matthew’s office which we’ve transformed it into a dressing room for the day.

I snort a laugh. “This is mild for her,” I reply. “I’m actually a little surprised she hasn’t bolted the doors shut. And she’s probably gone down to tell Matthew not to step a single toe on the stairs with some sort of very colorful threat about what will happen if he does.”

“Well, I’m glad you have a friend like her,” Lily says sincerely. “Not really something you’d find at the farm.”

“True,” I agree. “I definitely lucked out. Now if we can get you settled down somewhere, we’ll be all set.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m probably heading home after this. Hollywood isn’t exactly what I thought it would be and I don’t feel like spending the rest of my life waiting tables in the hopes that some big shot movie producer will take notice.”

“Would this have anything to do with your mistake of agreeing to a movie that you’d never want our dear big brother to know you nearly starred in?” I ask teasingly.

Her face twists in horror. “Maybe. And if it’s all the same to you, I’d really appreciate it if Jimmy never knew about that. He’d probably fly out to LA and try to beat the shit out of the guy who approached me in the first place.”

“Well, what matters is you were smart enough to turn down the role before it was too late,” I tell her simply. “You’ll find whatever you’re looking for. Just be patient.”

“Did you?”

I turn to her. “Did I what?”

“Find what you were looking for?”

I smile slowly, knowing she’s referring to Matthew and everything that goes along with him. “I really did,” I confirm softly. “I just wish I’d figured it out five years ago and I could have saved all this drama between me and Matt.”

“What matters is you figured it out now,” she says firmly, repeating my words to her. “I always knew you’d have been happier with Matt than Tom. It was in your eyes every time I looked at you. You’ve been one miserable bitch for the last five years.” I shoot her a glare and she grins. “It’s good to see you smiling so much.”

“So what’s Jimmy doing here?” I ask suddenly. “He’s been the most vocal about me not being with Matt and now he’s attending our wedding. Is he planning on making a scene during the ceremony? Maybe sneak up her
e, throw me over his shoulder, and take me out of the house?”

She shakes her head a little. “I don’t think so,” she says. “He and I had this huge argument before I flew out here. I told him he was being a selfish asshole by making you miserable over something that makes you so happy. He never wanted to accept that Matt might actually be good for you; all he ever saw was the bad. I think he always thought the three of us would stay on the farm together after Dad died and he’d be able to snap you out of whatever funk you were in after you and Matt split. I tried to tell him it wasn’t going to happen, but you know him—he’s stubborn as hell on a good day. Anyway, I told him while we were arguing that if he didn’t want to lose you altogether, he needed to accept that Matt is the one you want and no one else would ever come close. He didn’t have much of a response to that, but I know it struck a chord. Maybe this is his way of accepting you
remarrying Matt.”

Though I still doubt my brother is here for any good reason, I do suddenly remember seeing him laughing and smiling with Matthew when he got out of the van. That has to be a good sign, right? Beside
s, I’ve got other things to do than worry about what my brother might be up to.

Claire returns and quickly informs me that Matthew is in good spirits and not hung over, not that I was particularly worried about that, and he’s eager to see me. She then informs me that he’s been banished to the basement to get ready. Despite all my attempts to sneak out of the room, Claire stops me every time, not even allowing me use of the bathroom without someone standing outside the door to ensure I don’t wander off. It’s really getting annoying…

I’m still trying to find a way out of the room to see Matthew when Claire announces we’ve got an hour until it’s time for me to walk down the aisle. I hadn’t even realized the time had gone by so quickly, but I quickly abandon the door and head towards the office bathroom where my wedding dress is hanging, having just been altered to fit the increasing size of my belly. For the millionth time this morning, I wonder what Matthew is doing, whether he’s nervous and pacing and running his hands through his hair so that it sticks up in every possible position. I wonder if he’s panicking about what today means—that I’m here for the long haul to support him and love him for the rest of our lives. I know he worries relentlessly about safety and what might happen if the dangers of his job get too close to us again. Whether it’s us being hurt or me being unable to handle things and running, he worries.

And truthfully, I’m a little worried myself. Not just because of the dangers, but because of how he’ll handle it. He’s so protective of
Tyler and me and he desperately wants to shield us from anything negative, to the point that he’ll keep everything quiet until it all blows up and he can’t hide it anymore. We’ve made so much progress over the last few weeks between therapy with Dr. Morris and just talking to each other that I think he’s realized how damaging it is when he keeps things from me; I only hope all that carries over into our marriage.

––––-o––––-

Since I’ve been completely banned from the entire upstairs of my own house, it gives me the opportunity to oversee the decorating for the wedding. Everything is going perfectly so far—even the weather is cooperating. Though we’re expecting a snow storm today, it seems like it will hold off at least until the end of the ceremony, which will take place down on the boat dock overlooking the frozen, snow-covered lake. While Sam and I have discussed those details, I’m not sure she fully comprehends how incredible it’s going to look as we’re saying our vows to one another. I can’t wait to see the expression on her face when she takes it all in. I’m taken aback just watching the transformations of my backyard and the inside of my house. Everything from the flowers to the dinner plates is covered in shades of blue and silver and gold, and it’s all really starting to resemble something right out of a fairytale. I have to keep pinching myself just to remind me it’s not a dream and somewhere upstairs, Samantha is getting ready to become my wife again.

“Don’t even think
about it.”

I spin around, only now realizing my hand is on the railing of the staircase leading up
stairs and one of my feet is on the second step. Claire is standing in front of me with her arms crossed, wearing a pink fluffy robe. Her hair is pulled up and back and it looks like she’s already got her makeup on. “Morning, sis!” I say cheerily, stepping off and away from the stairs. “Don’t you look gorgeous this morning. Did you have a good night?”

She raises an eyebrow, rolls her eyes, and walks towards the kitchen. Smirking, I follow. I’m smart enough not to try sneaking upstairs right now; I do have
some
sense of self-preservation. And while tradition states I can’t see my bride before she walks down the aisle, nothing says I can’t ask about her. Apparently Claire knows me well; before I can even take a breath to speak, she smiles. “Sam’s fine. Getting her hair done as we speak.”

I smile back. “Is she nervous?” I ask in an almost whisper.

“A little,” Claire says, shrugging. “I think she’s mostly worried she’ll trip in her dress and fall flat on her face as she walks down the aisle.” She pauses, again raising an eyebrow. “Are you nervous?” I choose not to answer, instead grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. Claire sighs. “Let me guess… You spent most of the night worrying she’s changed her mind. That she got cold feet and that by the time you got here, she’d be somewhere in Australia.”

There are times I really hate my baby sister. This is definitely one of those times. I take a deep gulp of water to delay answering. “I did worry she’d have second thoughts,” I admit reluctantly, unable to not squirm under Claire’s narrowed eyes.

“Typical,” she snorts. “And did
you
have second thoughts?”

“Every other minute,” I tell her. “Not because this isn’t what I want, because it is, without a doubt. I’ve never wanted anything more. It’s because there’s still a part of me that thinks I should just walk away from her to keep her safe.”

Surprisingly, Claire looks sympathetic rather than irritated. “It always comes back to that, doesn’t it? Protecting her?” I nod. “Well, she’s had some of those concerns too—that you’ll change your mind because you’re trying to be noble or some bullshit. And you know what she told me? She just wants you to trust that she knows what she’s doing. She’s seen the worst of it, Matt, and she’s still here. Trust that. Stop questioning yourself so much.”

“Easier said than done,” I respond. “I can’t seem to get this right.”

“Well,” Claire says softly, reaching for my hand, “that girl isn’t going anywhere. I think you’re pretty much stuck with her.”

I smile. “Can’t think of a better fate than that,” I say.

We talk a little more, comparing stories from last night. None of the boys slept, so we’re expecting tantrums and kids falling asleep in random places once the excitement dies down. Claire hints that there was some sort of discussion last night about some of my most embarrassing times as a teenager. Despite threats of retribution, I can’t get anything more from her than that, though I can’t really think of anything Samantha doesn’t already know about. She opens her mouth to say something, but the doorbell rings before she can speak. She’s smirking at me as I glare and head to the door.

The caterers have arrived, which means Claire and I have lost access to the kitchen for the next several hours. She says something about getting back upstairs and that she’ll come find me in a bit. I return to the basement to find Danny, Marcus, and Jimmy falling asleep on the couch watching the three boys playing videogames. Even Bandit seems to have had enough; he’s curled up at Tyler’s feet, snoring softly.

Men really do have it easy on days like this. It takes us all of about fifteen minutes at most to get dressed, shave if we need to, and make sure our clothes are straight. Even with the added task of getting three exhausted little boys ready, I don’t imagine we’ll need much time. I glance at the clock and find there are still a couple hours before the wedding begins, so I take a page from my friends’ book, find a place on the couch, and let myself doze off.

––––-o––––-

An hour or so later, I’m shaken awake by Danny telling me the guests are starting to arrive and I scrub my hands across my face to wake myself up a bit. The others are starting to get dressed as well, though Marcus seems more preoccupied with playing tug o’ war with Bandit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile and chuckle so much. When he notices me watching him, he clears his throat and scowls.

“Thought I’d keep the dog occupied while the kids got dressed,” he informs me gruffly.

Lips twitching, I turn away and grab my tux off the clothing rack we set up this morning. I glare at the bowtie—only for Samantha would I wear one of those damnable things. I hate them more than I hate regular ties; they’re finicky and dorky and I always feel like I’m being strangled when I’m wearing one. I can’t get them off quickly enough. Regardless, this is what the woman at the tux shop insisted should go along with this particular tuxedo. I tried it on without the bowtie to get it tailored and I’d be perfectly happy to stuff the bowtie somewhere and forget about it altogether. But considering my groomsmen are all wearing one, I’d look like a total idiot if I didn’t. Danny in particular was almost giddy when we chose the tuxes we did—he said something about bowties being cool and I swear he giggled afterwards. I might book him his own session with Dr. Morris…

Several sets of eyes look up the stairs when we hear a knock and I call for the person to come in, quickly pulling on the tuxedo pants over my boxers in case it’s one of the girls. I nearly lose my balance completely when I see my father slowly walking down the stairs. Last I heard, he was completely boycotting the wedding in protest and that was weeks ago. I haven’t even spoken to him directly in nearly a month and to be honest, I haven’t been overly concerned about crossing that bridge. Since my conversation in my office with Bonnie, though, it’s been at the back of my mind that something might be really wrong with him. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense—Bonnie says she saw my dad at the doctor’s office where she’s receiving treatment for a brain tumor. The only reason he would be there is if he was receiving similar treatments. Looking at him now, my theory only solidifies. He’s thinner than I’ve ever seen him; his skin has a gray tinge to it; his hair is completely gray and seems to be disappearing.