Your Forever: The Eight of Wands (3 page)

“I should practice,” Theo said and went into the living room to get the guitar. “Is it okay if I play outside? Will it bother your neighbors?”

“No,” Del said and got up to help with the washing up. “Mrs. Stevens is the closest one and she’s hard of hearing.”

“I’ll keep it down anyway. It’s only polite.” Theo picked up the guitar and went out the back door to the porch.

“That,” said Jeff as he stacked the pans in the washer, “is what our fights are like now. I guess it's better than yelling and punching each other.”

“It’s obvious he loves teaching and he’s good with kids,” Del said and hauled himself up onto the counter. “You didn’t need to say anything about the music. I wanted to hear more about his school.”

“He could have gone to Berklee Conservatory,” Jeff said. “He’s got the talent.”

“But he went to another school and got a teaching degree and is happy.”

“Hey,” Jeff said, frowning, “I thought you were on my side.”

“I am on your side, which is why I’m pointing out what an idiot you’re being. If you’re trying to be his dad, don’t. You’re not his dad. And if you’re trying to be a good, older brother, don’t go about it like this. The guy’s twenty-six, not eight.»

Jeff rolled his eyes. “I’m going to bed. What time are we getting up tomorrow?”

“Early. Set your alarm for four.” Jeff waved good night and went into the guest room, and Del went out onto the porch to keep Theo company.

The younger man had perched himself on the porch swing, his long legs crossed, the guitar resting on his thigh. Del recognized the tune Theo was softly playing, and he joined him at the other end of the swing to listen.

Theo didn’t stop playing when he said, “I don’t think he wanted me to come.”

“He did,” Del said. “He does. He wants you here. You’re the only family he’s got, aside from his mom and some frail great-uncles.”

“He’ll have a lot more after Sunday, with all those sisters of Marianne’s.”

“In-laws,” Del said. “It’s not the same, really. It’s not like blood.”

“Do you have brothers?” Theo looked up at him.

“Two. And a sister. I know how brothers can be, especially older ones.”

Theo shook his head. “I bet neither of them were teenagers when you were born.”

“Well, no,” Del said. “We’re all about three years apart.”

“See, I didn’t even know Jeff was my brother until I was about five,” Theo said, and stopped playing to hang his arms over the side of the guitar. “Before that I thought he was just someone who knew my dad. And then I figured it out when I realized Dad’s name wasn’t Dad, and Jeff called him that because Dad was actually his dad.” He shook his head. “But see, he still thinks I’m that six-year-old kid who doesn’t understand the world.”

“I think he knows you’re an adult, Theo,” Del said gently.

“Then how come he was talking to me like I haven’t already decided on a career? For God’s sake, if I wanted to be a singer I’d be a singer. But I wanted to teach, so I’m teaching. And I love it. And if it gives me the opportunity to sing sometimes, that’s okay, but I’m doing important stuff there.” He stopped and let out a deep breath, and put the guitar aside. “Sorry. I’m pissed off now.”

Del reached over to rub Theo’s back. It was tense under his palm for a moment or two, and then Theo sighed and relaxed, hanging his arms on his knees and letting his head droop.

“That feels good,” Theo murmured.

“Good,” Del said softly and moved up his hand to rub the back of Theo’s neck. He was tense there as well, so Del dug in his fingers, massaging him deeply.

“You’re good at this.”

“This is what I do,” Del said, smiling a little. “I help people feel better.”

Theo practically moaned and Del paused. He usually found it easy to keep his professionalism, but he usually wasn’t massaging a patient on his back porch in the dark while crickets chirped and wind made the pines rustle. He brushed his hand down Theo’s back and then took his hand away.

“Thanks,” Theo said and straightened up. “That helped. It did.”

“Good.” He smiled at Theo, trying to keep it light. “So, tomorrow. There’s the fishing trip in the morning, and then we’ll drive up to the lodge, and that night there’s the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and then the wedding is Saturday night at eight.”

“I don’t think I should go to all of that,” Theo said after a pause. “It’ll be all Jeff’s friends at the bachelor party. If it’s okay I could just stay here and play guitar and watch TV and stuff.”

“Okay. You will come to the rehearsal and dinner, right?”

Theo shrugged a shoulder. “I only brought one suit.”

“It’s informal,” said Del. “You could wear what you’re wearing now. You look pretty good.” It was just a striped button-down Oxford and chinos, but they fit his lanky frame perfectly and brought out the green in his hazel eyes.

Theo looked down at himself with a muttered, “Thanks.” He looked back up at Del. “What has Jeff told you about me?”

“Not much,” Del said. “That you were forgetful as a kid.”

“Flaky, you mean,” Theo said. “It’s okay. I know.”

“Absent-minded,” Del said. “But creative people tend to be, I’ve found. They’ve got other things to think about than if they remembered the milk. And you must do okay with the kids, so you can’t be as terribly flaky as Jeff thinks you are.”

“Yeah, I do okay.” He stretched his neck from side to side. “He’s never thought much of me, you know. It’s my fault his parents divorced so Dad could marry my mom.”

“Being born is never the kid’s fault,” Del said, surprised that Theo would be so cavalier about the circumstances of his birth. “Your parents made a choice and you were the result.”

“Jeff thinks it’s my fault. He said so at my dad’s funeral. Our dad’s.” He looked down at his heavy work boot as it scuffed along the porch floorboards. “And my mom wasn’t a slut, either, no matter what Jeff thinks.”

“Jesus,” Del murmured and closed his eyes. “He doesn’t really think that.”

“Maybe not anymore, but he used to. He called her that to her face at the funeral. I mean, I get how grief makes people crazy, but she still hasn’t forgiven him for that.”

“Yeah,” Del said. “I think he knows that’s why she’s not here.”

“Yeah. But it wasn’t like a boss screwing his secretary out of boredom, you know? I mean, she was his boss, for one thing, and it takes two to commit adultery. Nobody was a saint in this.”

“I know,” Del said. He made the swing sway with his foot as the wind softly blew through his hair and over his face. Wind chimes rang from his neighbor’s back yard. “Relationships end for all kinds of reasons. That’s what sucks about them. They never last.”

“Sometimes they do,” Theo said, looking up at Del, shaggy bangs almost but not quite long enough to hide his eyes. “Sometimes they last forever. Look at Jeff and Marianne.”

“Their forever is just getting started. The odds are good for them, though. They’ve already had fifteen years of practice. They’ve already found everything they want in another person.” He paused. They'd barely met, but in his experience it was usually easier to confess to strangers than to friends. “I used to date one of Jeff’s chefs, but then he left me. We’re still friends, mostly, and he still works at the restaurant. He’s going to be at the bachelor party and he’s bringing his new boyfriend to the wedding. But sometimes -- I can’t help it -- I wonder what this new guy has that I didn’t, because as far as I can tell, the answer’s ‘not much.’”

Theo said, “Maybe I should come to the bachelor party after all,” and then looked away, blushing.

Del raised his eyebrows at Theo, charmed. “You want to make my ex jealous?”

“Shut up,” Theo mumbled, his hands rubbing together restlessly.

“Why? It was such a sweet offer. You should absolutely come along and be my fake date.”

“Forget I said anything.”

“No,” Del said cheerfully. “I’m going to gloat instead.”

Theo rolled his eyes. “Okay. I’ll be your fake date. I’ll be sure to snuggle you a lot so he’ll get jealous and realize what a great thing he lost. So, should I call you honey or snookums?”

“You can call me snookums,” Del said, and they grinned at each other.

“Why would anybody leave you?” Theo said softly, the grin turning gentle. “You’re kind of amazing.”

Del didn’t know what to say for a moment, and he turned away from Theo to regain his composure. “Why does anybody break up with anybody? You grow apart, you realize you’re not in it for the same reasons, you realize you’re not happy. Sometimes, you’re just not happy and it’s enough.”

“And he wasn’t happy.”

“Basically. He said he was tired of waiting. I’m not entirely sure what he was waiting for.”

Theo nodded and picked up the guitar again. He started picking out a tune absently. “My last boyfriend was like that. He was a good guy. He didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t big or dramatic. It was just, he didn’t feel like forever.”

“And you want forever?” Del said.

Theo concentrated on the song a few moments before he answered. “I want that hope.”

Del pushed the porch swing slowly with his foot. “So, you’re not seeing anybody right now?”

“Not anybody serious, no. Too flaky.” He glanced up with a smile.

Del nodded and watched the wind make the branches of the pine trees sway. “You’re not that flaky.”

Del was never certain who moved first, but he moved and Theo moved, too, and Theo took hold of Del by his collar and kissed him. Del’s lips parted, his tongue touching Theo’s, and Theo stifled a groan and gripped Del’s shirt in his fist. Del threw a leg over Theo's thigh and held Theo’s face, teasing Theo’s mouth with his tongue. He ran his hands down Theo’s neck and over his shoulders, as Theo clutched at his shirt with trembling hands.

They broke away from each other and leaned their foreheads together, Theo breathing hard. Del whispered, “I think Jeff would kill me if he knew about this.”

“So we won’t tell him,” Theo said, and when he glanced up at Del there was a glint in his eyes, hazel and gold and green, bright and full of life. Del sighed regretfully and slid off the swing.

“I’m sorry. You’re gorgeous, you really are, and at any other time I’d be all over you, but you’re my best friend’s brother.”

“And I live a thousand miles away,” Theo said. “And I’m sure Jeff has told you about my exploits in high school, since he likes doing that.”

“He told me a few things,” Del admitted.

“I bet he didn’t tell you I had one boyfriend all through college,” Theo said. “And that we were together until last year.”

Del was quiet a moment. “No, he didn’t. That was the guy who didn’t feel like forever?”

“Yeah.” Theo sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Look, you can believe what you want to believe about me. But I think you’re more observant than that. I’m not here to mess with you or break your heart. I just want to see my brother get married. You being gorgeous and awesome is just, you know, a bonus.”

“You find a lot of things awesome,” Del observed.

“I spend a lot of time around five-year-olds,” Theo said. “I’m used to using small words.” He reached for Del’s hand and wove their fingers together. “If you don’t want me that’s one thing, but I think you do.”

“I do,” Del whispered. “I do.”

Theo smiled and stood, enormous and broad, and held Del’s face to give him a slow and sweet kiss. Del stood as they kissed and pushed against him, reveling in his long, hard body. “Oh, yeah, you want me,” Theo whispered, amused, “and I want you.”

“Wanting a thing doesn’t make it right,” Del whispered.

“Are you that scared of being close to someone?”

Del looked at Theo and licked his bottom lip, not failing to notice the way Theo watched his mouth, the way that his eyes darkened and his breathing came out faster. Del held onto Theo’s hips and nudged his cheek against Theo’s palm. “I don’t meet someone I click with like this every day. But eventually you’re going to get on your plane and go home, and then what?”

“Phone sex?” Theo whispered, and Del chuckled dryly and looked away. “I don’t know, man. We could just see what happens. Isn’t that part of the fun of these things? Just seeing what happens next?”

Del swallowed hard. “I want amazing things to happen next. You deserve it.”

“Then let’s do it.” He kissed Del’s forehead and then his mouth, and Del thought he could be reckless, just this once.

***

They went quickly through the house to Del’s bedroom, Del turning off lights as he went. Theo shut the bedroom door, and gave Del a long, slow, lustful once-over as he leaned against it. “Beautiful,” he said softly. “Most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”

«Right back at you,» Del said and pulled Theo to him. He kissed Theo fiercely as they fumbled with buttons and tugged at each other's clothes. Del got one of Theo's arms out of the sleeve of the T-shirt beneath his button-down, and Theo pulled away, laughing as he pulled off his shirt and dropped it on the floor.

“Holy,” Del began and swallowed with a dry throat. Theo was gorgeous clothed but amazing shirtless: broad-shouldered, well-muscled, his chest deep and his torso long. Del ran his hands over Theo’s chest, fascinated, until Theo impatiently grabbed him again for another hard kiss.

“Too many clothes,” Theo muttered and pulled Del’s shirt over his head, not bothering with the remaining buttons.

Del had a low platform bed and it shifted a little under Theo’s weight when Theo threw himself onto it. Del climbed on top of him, straddling him, and bent to kiss him. Theo held Del by the hips and arched his body, his tongue flicking out to tease until Del kissed him deep. “Clothes,” he muttered finally, tugging on Del’s jeans.

“Yeah,” Del said and undid them quickly as Theo did the same, and they both shoved their pants down to their thighs and wrapped themselves around each other, kissing desperately. Del rubbed against him, wanting the heat of Theo’s skin as much as he wanted the hardness of Theo's cock.

“Wait, wait,” Theo said finally, pulling his mouth away, “I want, I want --” He wrapped his long fingers around Del’s prick and Del gasped and buried his face in Theo’s neck. Theo patted his back with a soft chuckle, and then pushed Del onto his back and slid off the bed, onto his knees.