Your Foundation in Christ (Victory Series Book #3): Live By the Power of the Spirit (8 page)

Zechariah 8:14–17

Key Point

Judgment is related to character, which we are not to judge; while discipline is related to behavior, which should be carried out in love.

Key Verse

God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.

Hebrews 12:10

J
udicial and civil decisions are made in the courts of our land when people commit crimes or fail to work out their differences with one another. Judges are to “render true and sound judgment” (Zechariah 8:16) based on evidence brought by witnesses. They aren’t judging people when they settle differences and determine guilt or innocence. They are determining guilt or innocence based on the law of the land and by the testimony of witnesses. Only God can righteously judge us.

God commands us not to judge one another, but He instructs us to discipline those caught in sin for the purpose of restoring fellowship. Knowing the difference between the two has profound implications for how we relate to others. Judgment is related to a person’s character, while discipline is related to a person’s behavior. Suppose you catch your son telling a lie and you say to him, “Son, what you just said right now isn’t true.” You are not judging him. You are confronting him for the purpose of discipline. If you said, “Son, you are a liar,” that would be judging him.

Some attempts at discipline are nothing more than character assassination. If you called someone dumb, stupid, or arrogant, how could he resolve that? He couldn’t instantly change his character. We are losing ground when we shovel dirt at one another. However, if you pointed out a behavior problem, he could own up to his sin, confess it, repent, and seek forgiveness from those he had offended. He may have to live with the consequences of the sin and make restitution, if warranted, but he could be reconciled with God and others.

Character is what we build up in one another, and we are not to tear it down. Many of the problems in our churches and families would disappear if we memorized Ephesians 4:29 and never violated it: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” When we tear each other down, we grieve the Holy Spirit (see verse 30). Let us do no evil to our neighbor. Let us speak the truth in love. In civil matters, let the judges in our courts decide our guilt or innocence based on witnesses, and let God be the judge of our character.

Discipline has to be based on observed behavior. We have to personally see or hear what others have said or done before we can rightfully confront them. The Mosaic Law required two or three witnesses in order to carry out a capital punishment (see Deuteronomy 19:15). Christians are likewise instructed to have two or three witnesses before bringing a sinning believer before the Church (see Matthew 18:15–20).

If you catch a person in sin, confront that person with the purpose of winning him or her back. If the person refuses to repent and there are no other witnesses, end the matter there. Discipline is not the same as punishment. Punishment is retroactive. Discipline is future-oriented. God doesn’t
punish us when we sin; He disciplines us so that we don’t do it again. The punishment we deserved has already fallen on Christ.

On what basis does a judge base a person’s guilt or innocence?

What is the difference between judging someone as opposed to disciplining him or her? Why does God instruct us not to judge others but to discipline them in love?

Why should God be the only judge of our character? How do we attempt to put ourselves into His role when we judge others?

How do you typically respond when someone judges your character?

In what ways have you judged other people? What steps can you take so that it doesn’t happen again?

Do not judge, that is, unjustly, so that you may not be judged, with regard to injustice. With the judgment that you judge shall you be judged. This is like the phrase “forgive, and it will be forgiven you.” For once someone has judged in accordance with justice, he should forgive in accordance with grace, so that when he himself is judged in accordance with justice, he may be worthy of forgiveness through grace. . . . “Do not condemn.” That is, do not seek vengeance for yourselves. Or, do not judge, from appearance and opinion and then condemn, but admonish and advise.

Ephrem the Syrian (AD 306–373)

Isaiah 53:1–12

Key Point

If you are right you don’t need a defense; if you are wrong you don’t have one; and in either case you gain nothing by defending yourself.

Key Verse

Do not repay evil for evil or insult for insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

1 Peter 3:9

W
hat should we do when someone wrongly judges us and attacks our character? Should we be defensive? As in everything else in life, Jesus set the standard for how we should live with one another. “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. ‘He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.’ When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:21–23).

Isaiah 53 provides one of the clearest prophecies of Christ in the Old Testament. “He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed” (verse 5). Christ suffered in silence for our sins and never once opened His mouth to defend Himself (see verse 7). Our situation is somewhat different, because we are not sinless. However, there are two reasons why, outside of the example of Christ, we still shouldn’t defend ourselves.

First, if the judgments of others are right, we don’t have a defense. Even though they are wrong to judge us, it would do no good to defend ourselves. Our attempts to defend our character will often intensify the efforts of those judging us. Instead, we should follow Christ’s example by not retaliating and trust Him who judges justly. Then we must thank God that our sins are forgiven, accept the fact that we are a work in progress, and learn from the experience. Proverbs 19:25 says, “Rebuke the discerning, and they will gain knowledge.” Such attacks on our character reveal how secure or insecure we are in Christ. There is no need to defend ourselves if we know that Christ is our defense.

Second, if the judgments of others are wrong, we don’t need a defense. This situation is actually harder to deal with than the first, because there is no truth in what they are saying. Should someone personally and falsely attack our character, we should just listen. After they have finished pointing out every little character defect, their gun is empty. The last thing we want to do is hand them some more ammunition. If we attempt to defend ourselves against any of their allegations, it will just make them more convinced that it is their responsibility to convince us of our imperfections. That only leads to more accusations and verbal excursions.

Suppose we respond by saying, “I’m sorry you are upset with me. What do you suggest I do?” That may create an opportunity for ministry, for two reasons. First, by not trying to play the role of God in their lives—as they were trying to do in ours—we leave room for the Holy Spirit to bring conviction. When we play the role of the Holy Spirit in someone else’s life, it misdirects their battle with God onto ourselves, and we are not up for the task. Second, nobody tears down another person’s character from a position of strength. They are wrong to judge us, and it is helpful to know
that in some way they must be hurting. There is some reason they are angry and upset. It would be far more profitable to discover their difficulty than to try to defend ourselves.

What is gained if we return evil for evil and insult for insult?

How was Jesus wrongly accused during His time on earth? How did He react to those who accused Him?

How should you react if the judgments of others accurately reflect your character? What steps should you take before God to rectify the situation?

How should you react if the judgments of others are wrong? Why is it still important not to attempt to defend yourself in such circumstances?

How can you balance personal attacks on your character with the understanding of who you are in Christ?

Peter forbids us to return evil for evil and even commands us to bless those who harm us, but he also reminds us by quoting Psalm 34:12–16 that God keeps an eye on both the good and the bad and will reward us in eternity for the kindness which we show when we choose to do good to those who persecute us. Furthermore, he will also punish our persecutors if they do not repent, but if they do repent we shall also receive a crown of thanksgiving, because we have prayed to the Lord for their salvation.

Bede (AD 673–735)

Romans 15:1–7

Key Point

Those who are accepted and affirmed by authority figures will voluntarily be accountable to them.

Key Verse

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Romans 15:7

U
ltimately we are accountable to God, but to ensure proper care and discipline in our churches and homes, we also need to be accountable to one another. As you think about how this can happen in your situation, consider the following words: (1) “authority,” (2) “accountability,” (3) “affirmation,” and (4) “acceptance.” Now ask yourself,
From
which
end
of
the
list
does
God
come
to
me
?
He certainly had the authority. Your answer to that question will reveal what kind of a parent you are and how you do ministry.

Scripture leaves little room for doubt as to the answer. God first came to us with acceptance through Jesus Christ: “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Then came the affirmation: “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children” (8:16). Those who are accepted and affirmed will voluntarily be accountable to authority figures, but if authority figures demand accountability without acceptance and affirmation, they will never get full disclosure.

Jesus never said, “Listen, people, shape up because I am God.” Jesus had no human or earthly position of authority, and yet “the crowds were amazed at his teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law” (Matthew 7:28–29). People recognized Jesus’ authority because it was based on His character. Jesus dined with sinners so they knew they were accepted, even when their own religious leaders had rejected them. The Gospels reveal that sinners loved to be around Jesus and that He waged war against hypocritical religious leaders. Sinners who desperately need Jesus often stay away from churches because of what they perceive to be religious hypocrisy on the part of churched believers.

Jesus’ followers also related to others in a spirit of love and acceptance. In 1 Thessalonians 2:6–8, Paul speaks of his manner toward the believers: “As apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority. Instead, we were like young children among you. Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.”

Acceptance and affirmation are two of the most basic needs we all have. We only need to observe little children to know this—they unashamedly ask for both. “Did I do good, Mommy?” “Do you like the picture I drew?” We don’t grow out of those needs, but all too often we stop extending acceptance and affirmation to adults and to our children as they grow older.

Consider the dialogue between an authoritarian parent and a tardy child. “Where were you?” the parent asks. “Out!” says the child. “What were you doing?” demands the parent. “Nothing!” exclaims the child.

Does that sound familiar? It is all too common in our homes, churches, and schools. Overbearing authoritarianism repels intimate disclosure. True accountability cannot be demanded; it is voluntarily given. We can force some external accountability through threats and intimidation, but people
will not intimately disclose to authority figures unless they know they are loved, accepted, and affirmed. As Christian leaders and parents, we may not always be able to control those under our authority, but we can always love them.

How much can be gained when authority figures demand accountability from others without first giving them acceptance and affirmation?

How did people recognize the authority by which Jesus spoke?

In 1 Thessalonians 2:6–8, how did Paul say he treated the believers in that church? How does he instruct us to treat those over whom we have authority?

What do you require of others before you feel it is safe to share yourself?

What should you do if you realize that you have been asking for accountability from others but now realize your demeanor is the reason it wasn’t forthcoming?

“Although as the apostle of Christ we could have claimed a position of honor among you, still while in your midst we were children, as if a nurse were cherishing her own children.” A little one is gentle and for that reason decidedly amenable, mild and simple, without deceit or pretense, direct and upright of mind. Childlikeness is the foundation for simplicity and truthfulness.

Clement of Alexandria (AD 150–215)