You're Still the One (20 page)

Again, he urged himself to take it easy. It was one thing to enjoy this . . . fling or whatever it was, but it was another to take it too seriously. For now they were enjoying each other. Laughing, teasing, having a great time. They hadn't talked about anything deeper than what felt good, and right now that was fine with him. He wasn't sure he ever wanted to rehash the past. At least not more than they already had.

Bex looked around at the group. “Everyone ready?”

They answered with nods and yeps, and Liam clapped his hands together. “Let's go!”

“You still want to lead, and I'll bring up the rear?” Bex asked him.

Of course Liam wanted to lead.

“I'm good with that,” Liam said. He tugged at Aubrey's hand. “Come on, babe.”

Hayden was tempted to hang back with Bex, but decided that would be a bad idea. They'd be likely to flirt, and he didn't want to do that today in front of everyone else. He sensed they'd all start hardcore shipping them as a couple, and he didn't want to deal with that.

So he started out at the front of the pack, just behind Liam and Aubrey. After a while, the group shook out a bit based on speed, and soon Hayden and Liam were alone in the lead.

Hayden glanced up through the canopy at the bright blue sky. It was cooler here in the forest, but still quite warm as they hiked in and out of small breaks in the trees.

“Such a great day for this,” Liam said.

“Definitely.” Hayden looked over at his brother, knowing this was something he'd love, but thinking it was a bit sedate compared with skydiving and heli-skiing. “Have you really toned down the extreme stuff?”

“Yep.” He tossed Hayden a glance. “Hard to believe, right?”

“Honestly? Yeah.” For as long as Hayden could remember—close to a decade anyway—Liam had been taking on one extreme sport after another. “I guess we have Aubrey to thank for that?”

“For sure. And my therapist.” Liam threw him a wink.

Hayden practically tripped over a rock. “Your
what
?”

Liam chuckled. “My therapist. Come on, we're all seeing mental health care professionals now thanks to Alex, aren't we?” He adjusted his pack. “Maybe not all of us, at least not right now. But Mom has, Kyle sees someone—particularly regarding his gambling addiction—and Tori was seeing someone after she and Sean got back together.”

Hayden had known about Mom, but that was it. Shit, he'd been so far removed from his family that he was pretty much completely out of the loop. But that was his fault, right? He'd pulled himself out and focused on himself for once.

“I had no idea.”

Liam shrugged. “Yeah, well, it's not exactly cocktail party conversation.”

Hayden smirked at him. “And that's our primary mode of communication?”

“Good point. But you've been off doing your thing. Why would any of us burden you?”

Because we're family?
Hayden thought about when he'd been the one at home, providing support for both his parents and Alex. He'd kept an open stream of communication with everyone about pretty much everything. Yet it seemed they hadn't done the same.

“You aren't a burden,” Hayden said quietly. “Neither was Alex.”

“I didn't say he was a burden, but you can't deny his actions fucked us all up.” Liam paused, turning to look at Hayden. “Alex and I had an incredibly twisted relationship. He hated me because I was healthy, and I hated him because he wasn't, and I felt guilty. But we also loved each other. More than anything. Still, we found it best to live apart, so I went to Denver. Like I told you, the sports were all for him.”

“That's . . . cool? I mean, I'm glad you had something you shared.” Of course they did. They'd been identical twins. They'd shared a closeness the rest of them never could.

“Yeah, I guess, but twisted as fuck, too.” He shook his head and continued on.

Hayden fell into step beside him. “So you stayed away because he wanted you to?”

“It was pretty mutual, but yeah. He told me right before he died that I could come home.”

“Wow.”

“But I still resisted. When I came back for Evan's wedding and ended up staying to help with the zoning appeal case, I felt . . . strange. Like I didn't belong. Like everyone had found their place, and I never would. Not in Ribbon Ridge anyway.”

That's exactly how Hayden felt. Maybe he and Liam
could
form a bond.

“It's not like you,” Liam said. “You come home, and it's as if you never left. You've been really instrumental in helping Kyle figure out the wine situation. He said you had a few leads on a sommelier?”

Is that how they saw him? They had no idea how detached he felt. Maybe he should try telling them. “Yeah, hopefully they'll pan out. But you're wrong about me. It
isn't
like I never left. I did leave. I left Archer, and I don't plan on ever going back. And I don't have a permanent role at The Alex like all of you.”

Liam looked at him sideways. “You
could
have one. Why don't you take the sommelier position? And you know you can have any management responsibility you want.”

Except for the ones his siblings had taken. No, he wanted his own project. The winery would be his—or at least, it wouldn't be any of theirs. “Kyle hasn't offered it to me,” Hayden said as they cleared a small ridge and emerged into the sunlight. They both pulled sunglasses over their eyes.

“He would, but I don't think he realizes it's a possibility,” Liam said. “Is it? I thought your job in Burgundy was a done deal.”

He'd certainly led them to believe that, so that was on him. It was also no longer the case at all. He and the Westcotts had put an offer in on Quail Crest, which Amos had accepted. Soon, Hayden would have to share the news because they needed to get started on mapping out infrastructure. For that, he'd need Tori to design the winery, and he planned to contact the engineer who'd worked on The Alex, Cade D'Onofrio.

Hayden didn't want to spill any of that yet though, so he said, “I'm mulling my options.”

Liam looked over at him in surprise. “You are? That's great. Mom and Dad will be thrilled. Did you miss Ribbon Ridge?”

More than he'd realized. “Did you, while you were in Denver?”

“At first, yeah. But I built a pretty good life for myself, and I just got it in my head that I would never come home. You're not doing that though.” He cocked his head to the side. “Or are you?”

That hadn't been his intention when he'd left, but he couldn't deny that there was a competitive drive in him to prove he was as capable and successful as his siblings had been away from Ribbon Ridge. Which was perhaps a bit messed up. Maybe he needed therapy, too.

“No. I plan to come home.”

Aubrey caught up to them and snagged Liam's arm. “You guys were getting pretty far ahead, and we're stopping for a break.”

Liam stopped and turned. “Oh, sorry. We just got to talking.” He grinned at Aubrey and kissed her fast and hard. He snaked his arm around her waist and drew her close. “How are you doing?”

She smiled up at him. “Good. I've had a great view.” She tapped him on the ass, and Hayden decided it was time to leave them alone.

He walked over to a fallen tree and took a long drink of water from his hydration hose. Everyone caught up, and Tori joined him. “Hey, you and Liam were really cruising.”

“Apparently. We'll slow down.” Hayden glanced over toward Liam and Aubrey, at how close they stood together, and guessed Liam would be hiking with her the rest of the way. It was just as well. He didn't want to field any more questions about his plans.

“It's okay. We're all ending up at the same place.”

Bex finally entered the small clearing along with Jamie. She laughed at something he said.

“How are things with you and Bex?” Tori asked, drawing Hayden to turn his head toward her.

He blinked, glad that he was wearing sunglasses so that Tori couldn't see that he'd been staring at his ex. But maybe she'd figure that anyway based on the direction he'd been looking. “Fine, why shouldn't they be?”

“No reason. It seems like you guys are friends. That's great.”

“We're adults, you know. And we broke up a long time ago.”

Never mind that they were having sex.

“Sure. It's just great to see.” Her brow creased briefly. “I worried about it, to be honest. We thought long and hard before offering her the job.”

“But didn't bother discussing it with me.”

Her lashes fluttered, and she winced. “Sorry. We should've. In hindsight.”

Great, he was
hindsight
. That always felt good.

Shit maybe he
did
need therapy. Especially if he was going to be living back here. He'd spent so long—his whole life, really—burying his feelings of exclusion and inadequacy. Inadequacy? Is that how he really felt? Maybe. He thrust the emotions away. Today wasn't the time to finally search his soul.

Tori touched his hand. “I missed you when you left. We had a good thing going with The Alex. You, me, Derek, and Sara. I liked working together.”

Hayden felt a rush of delight. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. But Kyle stepped in all right. Still, I look forward to you coming back.”

“And doing what?” Hayden was curious if she'd bring up the sommelier thing too or something else.

“Whatever you want. We all own an equal share.” She adjusted one of the straps on her pack. “My day-to-day stuff is over now, and I have my own fledgling business to tend to, so I'm keeping my input somewhat limited. Mostly, we're all just doing our part to execute the soft and grand openings. Then the staff will sort of take it away.”

“Doesn't it feel bizarre to turn it over to people outside the family?”

“Well, Kyle's there full-time, and Liam has a pretty strong hand on the management side. The hotel manager is reporting to him.”

Sounded like they had things pretty well covered. “I have no idea what I would do.”

“You could be the sommelier.” There it was. “At least temporarily.”

“Maybe.”

She took a sip of water and cocked her hip. “Why not? You love wine. It would be great to have you back.”

He tried not to sound exasperated. “I want to
make
wine, Tori, not just recommend it.”

She sighed. “Right. Sorry.” Her eyes lit. “You
could
make wine here. Buy some grapes. Set up a facility at The Alex. We have room. I could design it for you.”

Why hadn't they ever come up with that plan before? Because Hayden was an afterthought.
Hindsight
. He always had been. “I'll take that into consideration.”

Her eyes lit. “I'm serious. This is a great idea. You should totally do it.”

“Do what?” Cam asked, joining them. Jamie followed on his heels.

Tori pivoted to include them. “I just had the best idea. We can build a winemaking facility at The Alex for Hayden to make a house label.”

Jamie's brow scrunched as he looked at Hayden. “You want to build the facility there?”

Oh shit
, he thought Hayden had told Tori about their plans. He shook his head. “It was Tori's idea for me to
buy
some grapes and make wine. She offered to design a facility at The Alex.” He caught Cam subtly elbowing his younger brother.

“That's not a bad idea,” Cam said, going along with him. “You thinking about it?”

“I'm thinking about a lot of things. Excuse me for a minute.” He turned and walked off into the woods to relieve himself. He supposed he ought to come clean about their winery plans. What was he waiting for?

He didn't know.

When he came back, Cam was waiting for him. “Sorry about that. Jamie feels like a douche.”

“It's okay. I can see why his brain went that way. It did sound like I'd told Tori about the winery.”

Cam stared at him. “I know you wanted to wait until after the soft open, but I'd kind of like to go public. It's pretty much a done deal.”

It was. And telling his family would mean they'd stop asking about his plans. Then he'd have to talk to Antoine . . . and Gabrielle. He felt bad about that, mostly for turning down Antoine's offer. Gabrielle would be fine.

But what would it mean for him and Bex? He glanced toward her. She stood talking to Aubrey and Liam. With both of them living in Ribbon Ridge, they'd have to figure out what the hell they were doing. Or put a stop to it.

Cam frowned. “You're looking at Bex. You guys still sleeping together?”

“Yeah, but don't worry, I listened to everything you said. We're just having sex.” Fun, amazing, mind-blowing sex.

“Good. Is it a secret?”

“We're not advertising it. Can you imagine what my family would say? Shit, they'd probably throw a goddamned party.”

“So what are you going to do? You can't keep this up forever.” He put his hands on his hips. “Unless you want to.” The bitter tone of his voice indicated how he felt about that possibility.

Hayden couldn't say he felt much better. Being with Bex this week had felt familiar, comfortable. He could see himself settling into a routine with her. But he didn't want that, did he?

Why did it suddenly seem as though the cushioned haze he'd built around himself over the past five years was about to burst? He needed to get his head on straight.

“Let's tell everybody,” he said. “You want to do it tonight at the campsite?”

Cam blinked at him. “Really? Yeah, that'd be great.”

“Then let's do it.”

“Sweet.” He clapped a hand against Hayden's bicep. “I'm so excited about this, man. More excited than I've ever been about anything.”

“I am, too.” But there was still something holding him back, something irritating the back of his mind. Something that kept him from diving in and completely losing himself in the lure of the future before him.