You're the One That I Want (10 page)

He started to say something, but she held up her hand. “Save it. Instead, let me tell you about the Owen I know. Hardworking. Humble. Kind. Sacrificing. Funny. Self-deprecating. The kind of guy you want on your side. And if you dig back into your past, maybe you’ll find that you know that Owen. Or maybe not. Maybe this is a new Owen. All I know is that the man lying in there is not the man who would shirk his promises. That’s a man who dove into an ocean to save someone he barely knew.”

“So that he could propose to her,” Casper said. “Sounds like he knew you better than
barely
.”

Oh, she wanted to hit him.

“No. He proposed to me as he lay dying. Because he thought it would help me not despair. Because if he proposed, maybe he could stop me from thinking about the fact that I might die too. So no, he wasn’t trying to have another one-night stand, if that’s what you were insinuating. He was trying to keep me alive.”

Casper closed his mouth and had the decency to look chagrined. “Sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“You bet it was, bro.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt. Owen’s left a lot of girls behind.”

“What are you trying to do? Shock me? Let’s meet again, shall we?” She stuck out her hand. “Scotty McFlynn. Relief skipper, first mate, and the only woman in the entire Bering Sea working full-time on a crab boat. I started when I was sixteen. Me and a crew of guys, working round the clock for a month. Do you think
I don’t know what they were thinking? What they did the moment the ship docked? I’m not stupid. And in case you think I’m just nice, I’m also a cop. One who, only six months ago, killed a man who happened to be related to me. He’d beaten his wife and kid and was holding them hostage. High on meth
 
—and I had to shoot him. I’ve been alone and not a little out of whack since then, and you might start considering the fact that Owen was the best thing that happened to
me
.”

He stared at her, not moving.

“By the way, Owen told me about your girlfriend, the fight, and the fact that he regrets it more than you will ever know.”

That seemed to knock him off his stance.

“He told me a lot of things. About you and your family. About how he wanted to go home. And I told him to be brave, to look beyond his mistakes
 
—that maybe you’d all welcome him back. Apparently I was wrong about that. You seem set on hurting Owen as much as you seem to think he tried to hurt you.”

Casper looked away and actually winced.

“Why are you here, anyway? I mean, sure, your parents are worried. I get that you wanted to find him for your family. But people go for years without talking to their relatives. But not you
 
—you have to track him down. What’s with that? He would have eventually gone home.”

His family had a lot of secrets, judging by the way they floated across his face. Then he sighed. “I’m in love with Raina, and I want to marry her and be Layla’s dad, but I need Owen’s blessing.”

After a beat, she let out a laugh, harsh, high. “You want his blessing after the way you treated him in there? Made him feel small, like a thirteen-year-old kid? I wouldn’t be surprised if he never talked to you again.”

Casper closed his mouth. Had the decency to look sorry.

And then as if a light flashed in her head, Scotty got it. Oh, she got it. “There’s more, isn’t there? You don’t just want his blessing
 
—you want him to
give up
his daughter to you, don’t you? That’s what that was all about
 
—driving home to Owen how horribly irresponsible he is. What did you say
 
—‘learn to be a father’? You don’t want him to do that;
you want him to admit he can’t
.”

Casper met her eyes. “He hasn’t the first clue how to be a dad to her.”

“And you’re willing to steal his kid away from him? Just like that
 
—write him out of her life?”

“No. I wasn’t
 
—”

“So he could be, what, the special uncle? Nice, Casper. That’s brotherly of you
 
—”

“Please stop acting like you know anything about this situation. I understand you think you know Owen, but spending a month with him only scratches the surface.”

“And spending a year away from him has made you blind to the person he really is. Hurting, yeah. But a guy who follows his heart, which, for you, might just backfire.”

Casper blinked at her.

“A word of advice. I suggest you go back in there and try again. Make friends. Tell him the truth. It doesn’t have to be you or him in this little girl’s life. And frankly, maybe he’ll be an amazing dad. Or could be if someone believed in him.”

“Someone like you?”

“Have a little faith,” she snapped, surprised by her own words but latching on because they seemed to make sense.

Casper considered her. “I’m starting to think Owen’s proposal wasn’t just a game. And apparently he thinks you said yes. Did
you say yes?” He raised an eyebrow, and for a second, she could completely understand why Owen would launch himself at his arrogant brother, take a swipe at him.

He had the innate ability to get under someone’s skin. Maybe the entire family was like this. She should recognize the warning flares.

Scotty said nothing.

“Answer the question.”

She turned, but he grabbed her arm. She yanked it away. “Keep your hands off me.”

“I’m sorry.” He held up his hands in surrender. “I just want to know. Do you want to marry my brother or not?”

She glanced back, remembering the way Owen’s face crumpled, the pain on it when he discovered he had a child he didn’t know about. The embarrassment, the shame.

Right then she’d known. He was going back to Minnesota. Back to his family.

Back to Raina.

Maybe not to marry her because Casper clearly would tackle him before he reached the altar. But Owen planned on being in his daughter’s life. Hadn’t he said that very thing on the boat?

If I had a daughter, I’d never want to forget her. She would be everything to me.

Now that he’d discovered he was indeed a father, his life was in Minnesota.

And Scotty’s? Well, she didn’t quite know, but it certainly wasn’t in the Lower 48. To follow on the heels of her man like some dutiful wife? Maybe Carpie was right
 
—she wasn’t made to get married. Ever.

This entire thing had been a joke. Or at least convenient. Until now.

So Scotty looked at Casper and said, “No.” She let the word strengthen, empower. “No. I don’t want to marry him.”

Casper’s eyes widened.

“Nice to meet you, Casper. Maybe be nicer to him when you bring him home. After all, to some, he is still a hero.”

Then she turned and walked straight ahead, trying to swallow the burn in her throat before it moved to her eyes, glazed them over. She got on the elevator, rode it down to the first floor. Please, let Red still be sitting in his truck.

She strode through the lobby to the parking lot and paused at the edge of the sidewalk, scanning the lot. Snow began to fall from the smoky sky, turning gray along the pavement. Plows thundered by, peeling back black slush. The air bore the gloom of something bigger, hovering, something to flee before it settled upon them.

She finally spotted the old red beat-up Mazda pickup with the topper on the back, deer horns mounted on the front, and her father in the cab, smoking. Tucking her head, she charged across the parking lot.

When she opened the door and slid in, Red looked at her.

For a second he just stared, miserable, his cigarette burning long. Then he ran his hand under his nose, followed it with his sleeve. Flicked his cigarette out the window. “So,” he said. “Where to?”

Scotty looked out her window. Swallowed the burn in her throat.

No crying.

She reached for her seat belt. “Buckle up, Red. The fairy tale is over. It’s time to get back to my real life.”

“I’
LL GIVE YOU A HUNDRED DOLLARS
if you go out and get me a pizza.” Owen sat on the bed, eyeing the green Jell-O wiggling in the pink plastic bowl on his dinner tray.

A sure sign of his brother getting better
 
—the desire for pizza. “Stop whining and eat your supper, or they’ll never discharge you.” Casper grabbed the Bluetooth hookup and pulled a chair up to the TV. “Are you sure you want to watch the game? It’s still preseason.”

“Two hundred. Cash. And yes. I haven’t seen a Blue Ox game in . . . Okay, never since I walked away. Maybe it’s time to start.” Owen pushed the Jell-O farther away. “The doctor says he might spring me by tomorrow. Oh, and by the way, your battery is low.”

He dug out the phone and tossed it to Casper, who caught it with one hand and shoved it in his back pocket before returning
to the array of plug-in choices. He could call up the game on his smartphone with his NHL app, but putting it on the big screen had taken two trips to the electronics store with detailed pictures of the television to show the pimply-faced teenager behind the Geek Squad desk.

“Did you get ahold of Scotty?”

Silence. Casper glanced at Owen. He was stirring his spoon through a pile of what looked like mashed potatoes.

Apparently that was a no.

“Sorry, Bro.”

After four days holed up at the hospital, Owen looked more like a grumpy trucker than a patient who’d recently had his chest cracked. A scraggly beard, long stringy hair, and an odor that suggested he required more than a sponge bath. That hospital gown seemed flimsy at best as Owen shifted in bed, trying to find a decent position. Off oxygen and free of the other tubes monitoring his heart rate, O
2
level, and pulse, only an IV still attached to his arm where the doctors administered antibiotics against infection.

If his griping was any indication, Owen might be right about heading toward a morning discharge.

Which meant they would be on a plane to Deep Haven.

Namely, to Layla and Raina.

Casper had called Raina with the good news but had opted to keep his parents in the dark. Just in case Owen turned on him and ran for the hills again.

Casper didn’t know why, but sometimes his mouth got up and sprinted out in front of his brain. Cutting off all common sense. He wanted to reel back time to four days ago, start over, this time with relief and a little humility. To cut Owen some slack. He’d just not known where to put all his emotion
 
—relief, yes, and
then frustration, maybe leftover fury and a significant amount of disbelief.

Thankfully, they’d found a tentative peace.

“Scotty’s clearly done.” His brother shrugged. “I don’t blame her. She didn’t sign on for a guy with this kind of baggage. Besides, were we really serious? Probably we would have both cut and run before we made it down the aisle. I mean, it’s me, right?” Owen looked up at Casper, made a face. “Since when have I stuck around?”

Casper had the urge to open his mouth and protest. Repeat a smidgen of what Scotty had leveled at him.
Hardworking. Humble. Kind. Sacri
f
icing. Funny. Self-deprecating. The kind of guy you want on your side.

If any of it were true, Casper might be in big trouble.

Because if Owen were any of these things, then maybe he wouldn’t dismantle Layla’s life. Maybe Casper didn’t have a right to step between father and daughter.

He found the HDMI port, plugged in the device, then stepped off the chair and reached for his phone. “Wow, you left me a whopping 14 percent.” He grabbed his charger, searched for a socket.

“Layla has my eyes,” Owen said quietly.

Casper glanced at him.

“Sorry, but I couldn’t help it. I checked out your photos. She’s so pretty with that dark hair. And Raina
 
—she looks good too. I kind of forgot how beautiful she is.”

“I didn’t,” Casper said, thumbing through the NHL listings on his phone. “I never do.” He kept his voice light, biting back the strangest spurt of panic.

He found the right game and tapped on it to bring up the feed.

Then from Owen: “I don’t get it. If you think I’m such a bum, why do you want me in her life?”

And there it was. Casper didn’t want him in her life. Not really.

Scotty’s words resounded through his head.
And you’re willing to steal his kid away from him? Just like that
 
—write him out of her life? . . . He could be, what, the special uncle?

Maybe he’d thought that
 
—hoped that Owen would admit the entire thing was over his head and thank Casper for stepping in.

Casper shook the pinpricks of guilt away. “I want your blessing, okay?”

“My . . . blessing? Seriously? My blessing to marry a girl I barely know?”

“You knew her well enough to make a baby with her.”

“Here we go again. What do you want me to say, Casper? I can’t take it back at this point. There’s no erasing my colossal stupidity. But it happened, and Layla is breathtaking, so we’re moving on. Yeah, okay, I’m a dad. That doesn’t mean I’m getting in the way of you and Raina. You don’t need my blessing.”

Uh, yeah, he did. Except maybe he wouldn’t call it a blessing, but . . . what was he going to say?
Actually, I need more than that. I need your permission. . . . I want you to surrender your rights to Layla.

Maybe not. “Okay then. Come home, meet Layla, and if you’re cool with it, Raina and I get married. You take off; we’re all good.”

That’s when he’d have that ever-so-awkward conversation. The one about supporting a child long-distance and how Casper would be glad to take over, fill in, let Owen off the hook.

In fact, he was still desperately counting on it.

Owen lay back, closing his eyes. “When I was out there on that raft, all I could think about was Dad playing that transistor radio, some old country song on it. Mom’s cookies. I would have given my right leg for some of her cookies. I kept seeing us in the
yard, raking leaves, and . . .” He looked at Casper. “I really want to go home.”

“Then it’s settled.”

“No, I want to go home to stay.”

Casper stilled. “Stay? As in . . . get a job? In Deep Haven?”

“Sure. Buy a house, coach junior hockey, maybe start a business. I have a little fishing experience
 
—”

“Owen, what are you talking about? Staying is . . . a big commitment.”

“I’m a dad now. You even said it
 
—I have to learn how to be a father. I think that means getting to know Layla and Raina. Being a real dad.”

A real dad . . .

More of Scotty’s words rang in Casper’s ears.
Frankly, maybe he’ll be an amazing dad. Or could be if someone believed in him.

Now, looking at Owen in the bed, Casper saw that his kid brother had the makings of exactly that. His patch was off, the scar crinkled around his eye. And yeah, he sported a few bandages, but he’d filled out, his arms thick, his chest sculpted under that hospital gown. He didn’t look like an overgrown kid with a big paycheck and a cocky smile anymore, the kind to seduce a woman into a one-night stand, but a grown man who’d made decisions and survived on the high seas.

Casper hadn’t exactly thought about the possibility of Owen
staying
.

Or that Raina might be glad Casper brought him home. A father for her daughter
 
—Layla’s
real
father.

No, Casper hadn’t thought about that at all.

“What about Alaska and Scotty?” Casper said. He found the
right input and the Blue Ox fight against the Denver Blades appeared in high def, without sound.

Owen sighed. “I don’t know. You saw her walk out of here. And I called Carpie, who hasn’t seen her since I have. Her father isn’t answering, and I’m not sure who else to call. My phone is probably back in my rack on the
Willie
, and hers might be at the bottom of the Bering Sea for all I know, so I’m at a loss. I hope she’s not back in Homer but . . .”

“Did you seriously propose?”

“Yeah, I proposed.” Owen made a face. “But you were right; I wasn’t really thinking about what would happen if she said yes. I was trying to get her to hope, to hang on until we were found.” He went quiet for a long time, just breathing, running his fingers over the top of the covers. “But . . . here’s the thing. I’ve really made a mess of things. Getting injured, ending my career, the scene at Eden and Jace’s wedding
 
—”

“No, that was me. If you recall, I tackled you. You just hit me back.”

“Maybe you should have played football instead of hockey.”

“Maybe you should have learned how to throw a punch,” Casper said.

Owen looked up, sharp.

“Don’t get your shorts in a wad. I’m kidding.”

Owen glanced at the screen, not smiling. “I’ll never forget the look on Mom’s face. Or Dad’s. I felt twelve again. I thought they were going to separate us and make us say ten nice things to each other.”

“You aren’t completely ugly,” Casper said.

“You don’t smell like socks.” A grin appeared on Owen’s face, the first one Casper had seen since Scotty fled out the door. Then it fell away. “I miss them. I miss everyone. I didn’t want it to be
that way. It’s just . . . I couldn’t face myself and the life I had lost. And now . . . Well, you try floating around for a day on the ocean and see how you feel. Everything starts to snap into place.”

Casper went back to fiddling with the TV connections, suddenly not wanting to think about his brother nearly frozen in the middle of the ocean.

“Yeah, I made mistakes
 
—a lot of them. But I got a good look at the guy I didn’t want to be anymore, and I’ve been trying to put it back together. I’ve even been . . . reading my Bible. Praying. Trying to figure out if there is any reason why God might want to save my wretched hide.”

Casper glanced at him, not expecting that.

“I want to be someone who can go home and fix what I messed up. But I don’t know how. I have this sort of sick feeling when I think about starting over. Like I’m going to bomb, big. Again. Make a mess of everything. The family screwup.”

Casper stared at the screen again, not sure what to say.

“Truth is, I don’t know if Deep Haven is really home anymore.”

This made Casper look away from the game, at Owen. “What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t leave home when I was eighteen or even twenty. I left when I was sixteen, and before that I spent every weekend on the road. I barely know you guys. I knew Eden because she lived close by and hovered over me for years. But the fact is, I’m not really a part of the family. . . .”

“Of course you are.”

“Think about it. I barely know Amelia, and I haven’t been on one meaningful vacation with the family since I was thirteen. I’ve always been standing on the outside, looking in. And the last two years didn’t help. I’m not . . . I don’t really belong.”

Casper had nothing. Because while four days ago he might have agreed, seeing Owen hurt and defenseless had him feeling like the king of all jerks.

And Owen had pegged it. Casper
didn’t
want him to stick around Deep Haven, make a mess of the happy picture Casper had painted in his brain. One that gave him full legal custody of Layla and erased Owen’s biological claim on her. And yeah, relegated him to distant uncle.

Still, Casper’s mouth opened on its own. Again, running out ahead of his brain. “You belong, Owen. We all missed you. And I know I came off a little, well, hot, when I found you, but it’s just because I was so stupidly relieved that I didn’t have to go home and tell Mom you died at sea.”

“You’re going to make me cry.”

“Then I was sitting on the mother of all land mines, and here you were, all happy and engaged and . . .”

“Stop before I reach for my hankie. Fine. I’ll go home already.”

Perfect. Casper wanted to bang his head against the wall.

The sounds of the game came over the screen. Casper stepped back, searching for Max on the ice.

“He’s in the penalty box,” Owen said quietly, his face changing. And in a moment, Casper saw the brother he’d known. Passionate, giving his all to his sport. He went after what he wanted with everything inside him. Like hockey. And saving the woman he loved
 
—or thought he loved
 
—from drowning. And living through a punctured lung.

Yeah, Owen had the uncanny ability to go after the goal and score. Every time.

Casper sank down in the chair, his stomach clenching. He noticed that Owen’s jaw had tensed and asked, “Should I turn it off?”

“No. Jace should tell them to defend against the spread and look out for a backdoor crease pass
 
—ah! Like that one!”

The siren sounded the Denver goal.

“Maybe when I get home, I’ll give the Blue Ox a call, see if they need a trainer. That way I’ll have a job while I stick around and get to know my daughter. Maybe I can get some tickets
 
—take her to a few games. Do you think Raina would let me?”

“She’s not even a year old yet, Owen. Give her a chance to walk, maybe talk, understand what she’s looking at.”