Yours Book 1: Losing My Innocence (5 page)

“Uh, Sophi, would you like another drink?” Mark asks as he nervously rubs at the back of his neck while looking between Nick and me.

I can feel Nick’s eyes on me, but I am too nervous to look back at him. I hesitate in thought for a moment looking around at the rest of the group. In a split second, I decide to run.

“Sure, I’ll come with you,” I reply and slip my arm through his.

As we start to walk I feel a hand on my elbow and turn to find Nick looking down at my arm locked with Mark’s. He shifts his gaze to mine. “I was hoping I could give you your gift,” Nick says softly.

Before I can reply my mother’s voice fills the room. Nick grimaces and releases my arm, looking pointedly again at my arm wrapped around Mark’s. I pull my arm from Mark’s hold and take a slight step away from him.

“Sephora, darling please … everyone, can you gather around the pool outside,” my mother orders.

We all began to file outside to the infinity pool that is adorned with candles on three sides as water runs off the fourth infinity edge. Nick finds his way to my side and places his hand on the small of my back once again. Does this man know he is driving me crazy?
I hope he never stops. I wish.

“I loved your natural hair color, we’ll have to do something about that,” Nick whispers into my ear and gives my hair a little tug. I release a low moan from somewhere foreign to me and have to bite my lip to suppress the end of it. Nick’s hand slips under my waves of hair to the nape, gently fisting the hair there, as he leans in to whisper again. “What am I going to do with you, my little butterfly,” he growls.

What?
I must have blacked out somewhere. This is not happening; I must be dreaming.
Why are my panties so wet?
He’s got to keep his hands off of me. I think I am about to explode right here before the almost one hundred smiling faces around my mother’s pool. In Sephora’s world there is never such luck. His fingers start to massage my neck and I want badly to moan again.

I know my mother is talking. Saying something about toasting and celebrating her baby. It is lost to me as Nick starts to run his fingertips up and down my bare spine beneath my hair. Up and down and back up again to massage my nape and repeat. I’m positive my mother is talking, but to me it sounds more like; “Thank you all for coming this evening,”
shiver,
“Sephora is my baby and I am so proud of her,” shiver, “I want,”
shiver, shiver,
“us all,”
shiver,
“to go around,”
shiver, shiver, shiver,
“the pool to say something,”
shiver,
“as a toast,”
shiver, shiver,
“to celebrate,” shiver, “my,”
shiver,
“darling,”
Shiver, shiver, shiver, SNAP.

OH.MY.GOD. I just had my first orgasm in front of a crowd of people and all he did was massage my neck and run his fingers down my back. He is so smooth about slipping his jacket off and placing it around my shoulders as if my shivers are from the cool night air and not my reaction to him.

As I come down out of the clouds he slowly drags his fingers down my back to place them in that place he has claimed as his. I lean into him to keep from falling face first into the pool as my legs threaten to give out.

“Cold?” I hear Luke whisper as he puts an arm around my shoulders and pulls me from Nick’s embrace. N
ot now with the overprotective and possessive brother routine Lucian, Ugh.

Nick looks annoyed for a split second before training his attention on Kimmie’s mother who is toasting Kimmie, Mark and myself. I pull Nick’s jacket around me to replace the sense of loss I feel now that I am out of his embrace. As the fog clears, I try to understand what just happened. I am almost positive he knows what he just did to me. Yet he is standing here in such control and focus, laughing at Kimmie and her mother like all the other smiling faces here right now.

What does this mean? I want Nicholas Lincoln so bad, but does this mean he wants me too? One thing is for sure, I am not taking that job now, no matter what.

U
gh
, I punched the pillow for the 99
^th
time. Stupid Nicholas Lincoln, stupid dreams about Nicholas Lincoln, stupid job I can’t have because of Nicholas Lincoln. It has been two weeks since graduation and I’m still confused, jobless, and totally in heat. I have nothing, but hot dreams of Nicholas and his huge hands all over me. I would love to say that the scene at the pool was the only reason I have been confused, but it’s not.

Once all the toasts were done stupid romantic Nicholas Lincoln pulled me aside to give me my graduation gift. I cried like an idiot when I opened the little jewelry box with the butterfly pendant covered in white and black diamond, with blue sapphires inside. I would have kissed him if there weren’t people moving around.

Then there was that look, the soft, tender look he gave me as he pulled it from the box and commanded me to turn around and lift my hair. I did as he asked of course. Once he had the necklace securely in place he trailed his fingers down my neck, my back then pulled me flush against him by my hips. I could feel that I was not the only one being affected by our contact that night. The evidence was pressing into my back.

“You’re
my
little butterfly Sephora, don’t forget,” his voice was gruff in my ear as his lips brushed it. One tight squeeze and he released me and walked away, leaving me breathless.

Then the rest of the night it was like I didn’t exist. He wouldn’t stay in the same space as me, wouldn’t look at me, not one word was thrown in my direction until he called good night to everyone and left with a tall redhead. I hadn’t really paid her much attention throughout the night. I just thought she was a friend of Luke’s or Ettie’s.

My heart broke to see him leave with her. I know it was silly, he could leave with anyone he wanted to. I am just his best friend’s baby sister. Doesn’t mean I don’t hate every redhead I have seen since.

The first thing the following Monday, First Lincoln Industries, was in hot pursuit. They had tried everything short of having Nicholas himself call me. Expensive dinner invitations, they increase the offer at least once a week, calls from executives promising great opportunities if I join the ranks. It is driving me crazy. I want the job so badly, but I can never look Nicholas in the eyes after how I behaved. I feel so stupid. I know I totally misread everything that night.

The worst part is Kimmie has been driving me insane because she can’t understand why I won’t take the job. It doesn’t help that First Lincoln offered her and Mark positions a week after I introduced them to Nick at the party. Not as outrageous as the one offered to me, but great entry level positions with great potential to move up in the future.

I could never explain that I can’t take the job because my potential boss gave me my first orgasm in public with just his touch. That sounds insane just thinking it. Ugh, and just thinking it has me squirming in my bed punching my poor pillow again.

Kimmie has been coming home every day for three days now gushing over how great the job is. She and Mark have lunch together and work on the same team. It came as no surprise yesterday that they were given tickets to one of my favorite shows in New York City. Private jet and all, yes, there is a catch, they have to get me to use the third ticket provided. First Lincoln is using my own best friends against me. I think I officially hate Nicholas Lincoln!

It’s not like I haven’t tried to apply for other jobs, it’s just they have all turned me down. Worse part in all this is that if I don’t find a job in two weeks Lucian is going to insist I work for him. I don’t understand.

I have the skills, I have been doing really well in the interviews, using the advice Ettie gave me and remembering what a certain CEO said about my habit of looking down and blushing. I have given a hundred percent, I even applied to some freelance jobs and I’ve heard nothing back.

I release a huge puff of air and reach for the butterfly resting in the hollow of my neck. I thought about taking it off a million times, but I just haven’t talked myself into it yet. It reminds me of that night before it all went wrong, before I found out about his girlfriend. So much for sleeping, I can hear Kimmie’s alarm going off in the other room. I promised her I would have breakfast with her and Mark this morning.

I have an interview for a small company a few blocks from the N.F. Lincoln building. I’m excited about this one. I’ll be close to my friends, but I also get to work my way up by showing my skills. They handle more app accounts than web, or gaming, or any of the corporate stuff I was looking into. It’s not the corporate setting I had imagined, but it’s a great start.

I can hear Kimmie singing in the shower and groan as I roll out of bed. I will be optimistic. So what I got like two hours of sleep. I can do this. I jump into a steaming shower of my own trying to wash away all thoughts of Nicholas freaking Lincoln and his stupid job offer that I want so bad. I can do this.

Once out of the shower, I sit at the mirror in my bathroom to start on my makeup. I have to say I am getting the hang of this. I like to keep it as natural as possible, but today I am feeling bold instead of the natural lip gloss, I have gotten used to, I reach for a more purplish tinted gloss that Ettie swore by when we brought all my makeup.

She would be happy to see me wear it. I just may take her up on lunch today. She has been driving me crazy with her wedding planning and I promised to have lunch with her. Today would be just as good a day as any. Not like there is much more time before I watch my sister on the happiest day of her life.

Never thought that would make me jealous.

Well, while I am being honest with myself I am really jealous. This job hunting sucks and if I wait to find a job before trying to find a relationship I may be old and grey. If I tell the truth, I guess, I had secret dreams of falling madly in love with the wonderful Mr. Lincoln.

It was never about getting my career in place first and now that I know he has someone I think it is time I stop dreaming. I want someone of my own that can make me feel… well, I don’t know if I’ll ever react to anyone like I did Nick, but I want to find someone I can be happy with.

Oh crap, there I go getting lost in my thoughts again. I’m going to make Kimmie late. I don’t have time to dry all of this hair now. I ran my hands through my thick waves that will now have to air dry and pray it will tame itself somehow. I had to resist the urge to whine for Kimmie to come to the rescue. I call myself fiddling with some product Ettie promised works wonders on her hair and have to be content with brushing it into a thick bun at my head.

I run for the closet to dress in my light purple silk blouse and my black sheath dress jumper. The skirt stops just above the knee and the top of the jumper stops a few inches under my bust. The outfit gives me a sharp business look. I push my feet into a pair of black patent leather heels and smile at my choice. I think my big sister would be proud of me.

“Let’s go Sophi,” Kimmie calls through the apartment. I can tell she is at the door already. I grab my purse and rush for the door, hoping my coordination stays intact. “So glad you could join me.”

“Shut up,” I huff as I just make it into the elevator. Our building only has two floors, but the little elevator is a nice addition on days like this one.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t be taking this out on you,” Kimmie mumbles.

“What’s wrong?” I ask while checking my appearance in the elevator mirror. I have to laugh to myself, I am really checking a mirror.

“It’s my insane boss that insists you come work for him,” she snorts, “he had a mass text sent out this morning demanding to know why you haven’t signed the damn contract yet. He has threated to clean out HR and our whole department if he doesn’t have you soon.”

“Are you serious?” I gasp.

“Are my boobs real?”

“But he can’t do that, it is no one’s fault I don’t want the job, that’s just crazy.”

“I did say he is insane, didn’t I? If things continue this way, I will be job hunting with you soon.”

“Oh Kim, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault he has his chains and whips in a bunch,” she says to herself. “Wish one of the other men in your life would take a page from his book.”

“What?” I scrunch my face up in confusion and frown.

“Nothing, forget I said any of that. Listen, will you do me a huge favor, please.”

“Why do I feel like I am going to regret this,” I whine.

“Sophi trust me, you won’t. You will be helping your best friends keep their jobs.”

“I already agreed to go to the show.”

“Yeah, but that is not going to keep him happy right now Soph,” Kimmie groans, “just come to the office have breakfast with me and Mark there and it will look like we are really trying. Mark and I will be spared his wrath.”

“Oh Kim, really?”

Kimmie locks her arm around mine as we step off the elevator giving me her best sad puppy face. I can’t stand when she pouts like that, I am helpless. I will kick myself later, but I know I already gave in. “Fine Kim, but it will have to be after my interview. I really want this one.”

“Yay!!!” Kimmie squeals and hugs me. “I am going to text that bitch, personal assistant of his right now.”

“Are you sure you have to do that? Can’t I just come in and be seen by a few people and go?”

“No silly, Nick would kill anyone that lets you in that building without him knowing.”

I officially feel like a rat that knows their time is numbered if they go for the cheese, but just can’t say no. I give up, the man is invading my life, my dreams, my relationships. Maybe it is time I see him and tell him I am never going to take that job.

* * *

N
o surprise
my interview was cancelled after I waited a half hour to be seen. This day sucked before it started. I texted Kimmie to let her know I will be over to her office sooner than planned as I walk the three blocks. My feet are killing me by the time I step off the elevator onto the twenty-seventh.

There is a pretty little brunette in a red dress behind the reception desk. She greets me with a huge smile as I approach the desk. This place is great; I love the energy you feel from the time you step on the floor. Once again I curse Nicholas Lincoln for stealing my dream job from me.

“Hello, how can I help you,” the receptionist bubbles.

“Hi, I am Sophi Emilsson here to see Mark Fienberg and Kimberly Ann Clove.”

“Oh yes, Sephora right?” The receptionist says enthusiastically as her smile broadens.

“Yes,” I reply uneasily.

“They are already in a meeting room upstairs waiting for you.”

I bite back a string of curse words. This is a trap and I knew it. I have to get out of here and fast. There is no way I am going into any meeting room, and if he is there. I am so out of here.

“You must be mistaken,” I rush, “I am just here to say hello.”

“Nope, I had orders to escort you upstairs myself,” she beams as she bounces from her seat to let a petite, brown skin girl, only a few shades lighter than me, take her place. “This way, please.”

I consider bolting for the closest exit, but I think about Nick’s threat to his staff this morning. I don’t want Kimmie, Mark, or this innocent receptionist to lose their jobs. I press my lips and follow her back into the elevator. I try to think of anything to get out of this as I watch the floors go by. Nothing, I have nothing when the doors open and the receptionist holds her hand out for me to exit.

I almost fall back into the elevator when I see the redhead from my graduation party standing in front of the receptionist desk on this floor. She is gorgeous, no wonder Nick left with her and forgot all about me. I could never compete with this woman. She has to be six feet tall with legs that stretch on forever. Her white pants suit clings to her model perfect figure without one wrinkle in sight, making me smooth my sweaty hands over my skirt front.

Her lips are painted a striking shade of red causing her hair to look like a phoenix’s mane. Her milky skin is almost porcelain like. She has sexy and woman written all over her, and here I am a computer geek with a new makeover. I want to turn and bury my face in my hands.

I stand rooted in place with unshed tears stinging the backs of my eyes. He has touched her in ways he will never touch me and here she stands like a trophy reminder.

“Thank you, Amanda. I will take things from here,” the redhead says coolly.

“You’re welcome, Miss. Carver,” Amanda replies and rushes back toward the elevator we just stepped off of.

“It is so nice to meet you face to face Miss. Emilsson. I have heard so much about you. I was sorry I didn’t get to introduce myself at your party. I am Jillian, Mr. Lincoln’s personal assistant.”

I can tell she is fighting to sound warm and inviting, probably fearing for her job like all the others. I watch as she makes short work of sizing me up. “Nice to meet you,” I reply, “but I can just wait for Kim and Mark at their cubical if that is alright.”

Jillian flaps her hair over her shoulder as she laughs and waves me to follow her. “Nick has not cleared his schedule for Mark or Kimberly Ann. Nor has he blocked off a meeting room for you to sit downstairs,” she says condescendingly. “I have to say you have me curious, is it the money? Have we not said the magic number? Or is there something else that I am missing? I have never seen someone so determined to flush away their future and I certainly have never seen Nick so determine to have someone on board.”