Yours for the Taking (22 page)

“Kate didn’t want to talk to me?”

“She said she loves you and she’ll be here soon.”

“She couldn’t tell me that herself?”

“I guess not.”

“There’s a lot of that going around.”

“What?”

“Women not willing to tell me they love me even when they do.”

Gina swallowed hard, stuffed her hands into her jean pockets, and looked at the floor. “Kate sounds as if she’s having a difficult time keeping it together. It’s hard when you’re so far away and someone you love is hurting.”

Ben put his arm around her and kissed her temple. “Tell me about it.” They walked into the near empty cafeteria and looked around. Ben checked the clock. “I guess 4:30 at the cafeteria isn’t a busy time.”

“Yeah, I hope it’s not just because the food is bad.”

They each grabbed a tray. Ben took the first sandwich he saw and groaned when Gina put a salad on his plate too. “I’m not hungry.”

“Tough. You look as if you haven’t eaten in a week.”

She was right. He couldn’t remember the last time he had really eaten anything of substance. “Fine. Is that enough?”

She shrugged and picked up a yogurt with granola and a salad. Ben didn’t say anything about the way she looked. As long as she was eating, he wasn’t going to complain.

When they got to the cash register, he reached for his wallet only to remember he was still wearing his running shorts.

Gina opened her purse. “I’ve got it.”

Ben didn’t have much choice so he stood back and let her pay. He took their trays to a table by the window while she got them coffee.

Ben watched her walk back to the table and held her chair. She rolled her eyes. “Would you just eat?”

He sat and pulled the wrapper off the sandwich. It didn’t look appetizing—nothing did but Gina. He wanted to talk to her, but he wasn’t sure what he could say that wasn’t off-limits. “How’s Jasmine?”

“She’s good. She’s getting bigger every day, and she’s doing well with potty training.” Gina stirred her yogurt and added granola.

Ben picked at his salad. “Good, she’s a smart puppy.”

Gina nodded and licked her spoon. Ben tore his eyes away from her mouth and looked back at the salad.

“When did Joe come out?”

He was tempted to say the same day she’d thrown him out of his own house, but thought better of it. “He was waiting for me when I got home from your place last week.”

She nodded. “This is really awkward. Maybe it would be better if we just didn’t talk.”

Ben reached across the table and placed his hand on hers. “Or we could stop avoiding the big white elephant in the room and talk about us.”

Gina’s phone vibrated on the table and she ripped her hand from under his to reach for it. “Dr. Glass is ready to talk to us. Grab your food and let’s go.”

Ben stood. “Okay, but this conversation is not over.”

***

Several hours later, Gina flipped through a three-month-old
People Magazine
trying hard to ignore Ben sitting beside her. His big body practically took up the entire couch. Whenever she moved away, he moved closer until she was jammed against the arm. A lot of good trying to ignore him did. She noticed his every move. She checked her watch for the thousandth time knowing Kate and the family would be there any minute, and thanked God because she didn’t know how much more of this togetherness she could stand.

Ben threw his arm around her shoulder and slid even closer. Soon he’d be on her lap. “People have angiograms every day. Gramps is strong, you heard Dr. Glass. Maybe they can do that balloon thing.”

She looked up from the magazine she hadn’t been reading. “Did you even look at Dr. Glass?”

Ben turned to face her. “Yeah, sure. Why?”

The man was clueless. “Dr. Glass and Mike both think Joe needs bypass surgery. It was written all over their faces.”

“It was?”

Gina blew her bangs from her eyes, tossed the magazine on the next chair, and got up to pace. “Yes. They have to do an angiogram, and maybe they’ll be pleasantly surprised and find an angioplasty will do the trick, but I wouldn’t bet the ranch on it.” As soon as she said the words, she winced. Damn it. When she turned to make another pass, Ben stood in her way.

“I know how strong Gramps is. Either way, he’ll bitch and complain, but he’ll come out of it fine. Maybe now Kate will get him to follow his diet.”

She gave Ben a long look. “You sure look a lot more confident since you ate.”

Ben shrugged. “You were right, it was low blood sugar.”

“I’m right about a lot of things.”

Gina turned to continue pacing and stopped when Annabelle floated into the waiting room. Any woman who could seemingly float while carrying a baby seat complete with baby, baby bag, and a duffel bag had to be a freak of nature—and Gina meant that with the utmost love and respect.

Gina liked Annabelle, but if Annabelle wasn’t so nice, Gina would really have to hate her. Annabelle was everything Gina was not—tall, long-legged, and social. But even in Gina’s unhappy state, she had to admit that Annabelle deserved all the happiness she and Mike had found. It hadn’t come easy.

Mike returned to the waiting room carrying more coffee and shook his head at his wife. “What are you doing here?”

Annabelle gave Mike a kiss before setting the baby carrier on a chair. “I brought Ben his wallet, phone, and a change of clothes.”

Ben gave Annabelle a brotherly hug. “Thanks, Belle. Is Becca at the gallery?”

“Of course.” She twitched her nose and shoved a duffle bag at him. “You need to take a shower and change. Mike, why don’t you show Ben where he can take a shower?”

Mike didn’t look pleased to know Annabelle had been elbow deep in Ben’s underwear drawer. It was obvious he still hadn’t forgiven Ben for proposing to Annabelle. It didn’t seem to matter that Annabelle had never said yes, or that Ben and Annabelle were nothing more than friends.

Oblivious to or possibly ignoring the tension, Annabelle unstrapped three-month-old Maria. God, she was cute with her Kewpie doll stand-up mahogany hair the same color as her mama’s with the most amazing blue eyes, and dimples everywhere—on her cheeks, her knees, elbows, and chubby hands.

Gina tickled Maria’s tummy. She wore a onesie that said, “If It’s Drama You Want, Here I Am” with an embroidered jean skirt and little pink socks that matched her top. “Look at how pretty you are.”

Annabelle plucked Maria out of her car seat. “Here. You don’t mind holding Maria for a minute, do you, Gina?” She threw a burp rag over Gina’s shoulder and handed her the squirming infant.

“I, um…” Maria was thrust into Gina’s arms. She had no choice but to cradle the baby against her chest. Maria’s chubby little hands grabbed the edge of Gina’s blousy top giving the world a show. Gina rubbed her chin against Maria’s stand-up baby-fine hair while disengaging her hand. She tried to pull her blouse down while balancing the baby between her arm and shoulder.

Annabelle smiled. “Maria, meet your Auntie Gina.”

It had been forever since Gina held an infant, probably since Rafael, but it was like riding a bike, or so she assumed, since she’d never actually learned to ride a bike.

Maria grabbed Gina’s nose, so she took her pudgy little hand and kissed it. When she looked up, she caught Ben staring at her with a faraway look in his eyes. She didn’t want Ben to get any ideas, but she wasn’t interested in handing Maria off either. Holding her was nice—she had that wonderful baby powder smell and everything about her was soft and cuddly. She was comfortable, and the way Gina felt right now, comfort was appreciated.

She turned her back on the three adults and concentrated on Maria who looked as if she was used to being the center of attention. It must be nice to have parents who so obviously loved you and know there were people everywhere willing to give you whatever you needed. “You are one lucky little girl.”

“Oh yeah, and she knows it.”

Gina turned to find Annabelle standing right behind her. “I just came over to relay a message. Ben said he’d be right back. He ran down to grab a shower. How is Joe doing?”

Gina waited for Annabelle to take Maria back and was relieved when she sat in a nearby chair. Gina rocked the baby, not quite ready to give her up yet and shrugged. “It wasn’t a heart attack per se. They’re going to do an angiogram in the morning. From there they’ll see if they need to do an angioplasty or bypass surgery.”

Annabelle nodded. “Joe is strong as a bull. Either way, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“I hope so. The rest of the family should be here any minute.”

“Family? What family? Ben’s an only child and his parents are dead.”

“Yeah, but he has Kate and his cousins.”

Annabelle raised her eyebrows. “So, you got close to Ben’s family while you were on your pseudo-honeymoon, huh? And from the looks of things, you got even closer to him.”

Gina shrugged and moved Maria to her other arm. “His family is great.”

Annabelle touched Gina’s hand and gave her that no-nonsense look Rosalie had down pat. It must run in the family. “Ben and I have been close friends for a few years now and I’ve seen a myriad of women come and go.”

“Annabelle—”

“Don’t interrupt me. This is something you need to hear so just listen and nod until I’m finished.”

If Gina wasn’t holding Maria, she really would have stuck her fingers in her ears and started with the “la la las” because this was one conversation she most definitely did not want to have.

When Annabelle was sure she had her full attention, she put her hands on her skinny little hips. “You broke Ben’s heart. I’ve never seen him like this before. He spent the last week stomping around the loft like some kind of weird zombie. He wouldn’t eat, he wouldn’t talk except when Joe yelled at him, and he’s been drinking heavily. He never does that.”

“Yeah, well, it hasn’t been all fun and games for me either.”

“Then you need to do something about it.”

“What?”

“Fix whatever it is that’s broken, and move on.”

“Annabelle, I really appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but I can’t fix it.”

“Why?”

She jiggled Maria who had started to fuss. “Because I’m what’s broke. I don’t do relationships. I’m not good at them. It would be better for both of us if we just ended it.”

“Oh really? Then why are you here?”

“Because—”

Annabelle held up her hand. “That was a rhetorical question. You’re not supposed to answer, you’re just supposed to nod and listen, remember?”

“How much longer are you going to lecture me?” Maria rested her head on Gina’s shoulder, found her own thumb, and sucked.

“As long as it takes. Now stop interrupting and listen.” Annabelle’s hands went into motion. “I’m gonna tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you’re just as in love with Ben as he is with you. And you’re not broken, you’re just a little battered and bruised. The only thing you need is to get your head out of your ass long enough to see the writing on the wall, Gina. You’re miserable without Ben, and Ben’s miserable without you. You’d both be a lot less miserable together. You’re already married, so just suck it up, and solve your problems instead of avoiding them.”

“Is that what you did?” Gina cradled Maria in her arms.

“Yes, and look how well it turned out.”

She lowered her voice when she saw Maria was having a difficult time keeping her little eyes open. “Mike didn’t leave you.”

“You’re wrong there. He did leave. But Gina, the thing is, he came back. If you had stuck around long enough, Ben would have too. When you left Idaho, he sat in the park for a week waiting for you. That has to count for something. If he didn’t love you, he never would have worked so hard to get you back.”

“He didn’t. When I told him I wanted a divorce, he said he’d give it to me.”

“No, he told me you wanted him to live up to the stupid deal the two of you made. That’s different. It’s a guy thing. Good men never go against their word. He may give you a divorce, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop trying to get you back.”

“It doesn’t?”

Gina set the sleeping baby back in her car seat and kept an eye on the hallway waiting for Kate and the others to arrive to save her from Annabelle.

“What are you looking for?”

Gina turned to face her. “Ben’s family. They’re supposed to be here any minute, Kate, Trapper, Hunter, Fisher, and Karma. Though I’m not sure if Fisher can make it.”

Annabelle’s eyes went wide. “You’re kidding me, right? Karma, Trapper, Hunter, and Fisher? Who would pick out names like those?”

“I did.”

Gina heard Kate’s voice and smiled at Annabelle before turning. “Kate! I’m so glad you’re here.” She hugged her and held on tight. Once she let go, she turned and got hugs from Trapper, Hunter, and Karma too. “Annabelle Flynn, this is Kate, Trapper, Hunter, and Karma Kincaid. Everyone, this is Ben’s partner and good friend, Annabelle Ronaldi-Flynn, and her darling little girl, Maria.”

Karma smiled and moved toward Annabelle. “So, you’re the one Ben proposed to right before you married that doctor.”

Annabelle’s eyebrows rose. “Yes, that would be me.”

Gina never noticed it before, but Karma looked like a blonde version of Annabelle. It might explain why Annabelle and Ben were never anything but friends.

Trapper brushed his cowboy hat against his thigh. “So, how’s Grandpa Joe?”

Gina shrugged. “The same, he’s resting. We talked to the doctor and they’re going to do an angiogram in the morning. From there they’ll decide whether to do an angioplasty or a bypass.”

Kate rubbed Gina’s back. “Where’s Ben?”

“Oh, he’s showering. He should be back any minute. He came here right after his run. Annabelle was nice enough to bring him a change of clothes.”

Trapper motioned to the door. “Speak of the devil.”

Ben and Mike returned and all the Kincaids but Trapper went to greet him. Trapper sat down and patted the chair next to him so Gina took a seat. He twirled his hat around on his finger. “So, have you two worked things out?”

She shook her head. “No.”

He gave his hat another twirl. “Yet here you are.”

Gina moved closer to whisper. “What was I supposed to do, Trapper? Just let Gramps languish in the hospital all by himself? No one was able to reach Ben, and we are still legally married.”

Trapper shrugged. “Ben’s been here how long?”

Gina turned toward him. “Gee, Trapper, I never thought you’d be the type to beat around the bush. Why don’t you get it over with and say whatever it is you need to say?”

“Yes, ma’am. I just think it’s funny that a woman who is so desperate to divorce her husband would choose to sit for hours in a hospital waiting room with him and his entire family, that’s all.”

“I care about Joe. I told him I’d take care of Ben.”

“And the whole family. Thanks for inviting us to stay with you.”

Gina crossed her arms. “My pleasure.”

Trapper nodded. “That’s the first honest thing I’ve heard you say. Well, that and you care for Joe. You can’t fool me, Gina. I’m a judge, remember? I’m trained to recognize the truth.”

“If you know so much, why are you bothering to talk to me?”

“Because I don’t know if you know it. Sweetheart, if you’re really out to divorce Ben, then you should leave and we should get hotel rooms. Dragging this out won’t be any good for you, Ben, and especially not Joe.”

“You want me to leave?”

“No, I want you to take Ben back. He loves you and for some unknown reason, you seem to love him.”

“Trap, stay the hell out of my marriage.” Ben had come out of nowhere… Okay, it wasn’t nowhere, just across the room, but Gina for once hadn’t been aware of his every move. She shivered when she saw the look on Ben’s face. He sported the same one right before he left her. It was enough to make all the hair on her arms stand straight up.

A slow smiled crossed Trapper’s face. He rose and stood nose to nose with Ben. “I was just keeping your lovely wife company, Ben, hardly a punishable offense.”

“Leave it alone.”

“Done. But it doesn’t look to me as if you’re having any luck.” He turned and walked toward the rest of the family who were taking turns going in to see Joe.

Ben sat beside her, ran his hands through his still-wet hair, and leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’m sorry.”

Gina rubbed his back. “It’s fine. I can handle Trapper. How did the reunion go?”

Ben shrugged. “Well, it looks as if everyone is talking to me again.”

“I never told them to stop.”

Ben sat back and put his arm around the back of her chair, his fingers brushed back and forth against her upper arm. “I didn’t think you did. They took it upon themselves to punish me. It’s their version of tough love. As if losing you wasn’t torture enough.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ben’s every emotion showed in those big blue eyes of his. The man was scared, heartsick, and even though he was now surrounded by his family, he looked like a lost little boy.

Gina stood when she saw the last group return. “Come on, everyone. There’s nothing we can do here. Let’s go home and get you settled in. We need to be back early.”

Ben stood and watched as everyone gathered their things. “I guess I’ll go back to my place.”

Gina couldn’t let him do that. “Oh, no. You’re not getting off that easy. I won’t let you leave me all alone with your whole family. You’re coming with us.”

Ben shook his head. “You don’t need to do this.”

“Ben, stop telling me what to do and just come home.”

“If you’re sure.”

“The only thing I’m sure of is I don’t want you to be alone right now.” Gina didn’t know if he felt it was a pity invite, but at this point, she didn’t have the energy to even think about it.

***

The two cabs carrying Ben, Gina and the entire Idaho contingent pulled up to the house. Everyone piled out and stared at the massive brownstone.

Ben opened the front door and was surprised to find Jasmine sitting on Fisher’s lap in the living room while he talked with Tina and Sam.

“When did you get in?” Jasmine jumped off Fisher, stumbled over her own feet, and ran to Ben. He bent down to pick her up.

Fisher gave Ben a guy-hug around the puppy. “Just about a half hour ago. I didn’t think I’d get in to see Grandpa Joe tonight, so I just came here. How is he?”

The whole family gathered while Gina introduced Sam, Tina, and Jasmine to the brood. She stood so close to Ben that she kept brushing up against him. Every time she did, it felt as though an electric current ran through him. For the first time since he was thirteen, he was at a loss of what to do with his hands. Part of him wanted to put his arm around her and pull her to his side, but he wasn’t ready for the rebuff, especially in front of his entire family. He stuffed his hands firmly in his pockets to keep from doing something stupid.

After a quick head count, Ben realized if everyone got a room, they’d be short one. His mind raced. He supposed he could take the couch since he didn’t think he was capable of sharing a bed with Gina and not losing what little was left of his mind.

Tina and Gina brought out snacks and drinks while the group caught up on the news of Gramps’ condition. Before he knew it, Sam and Tina were showing everyone to their assigned rooms. Ben hung back, saying good night to everyone until he and Gina were the only ones left on the first floor. “Where’s Jasmine’s leash? I’ll take her out for a walk.” He definitely needed to clear his head and figure out what to do next.

Gina went to the hall table and held the leash. “I’ll go with you.”

Ben raised an eyebrow wondering if now was when Gina would give him the brush-off. Jasmine pranced around waiting to go out and Gina chose this time to show him how well Jasmine had learned to sit. It took a few tries but she finally sat before Gina clipped the leash to her collar and smothered her with praise. She handed Ben the leash, grabbed a bag, and pulled her keys out of her purse. “I’m ready.”

He was glad someone was, because Ben wasn’t ready for anything else to happen today, unless it was good. He’d had about all the bad news he could handle. He held the door open for the girls and followed them out. He might have held the leash, but Jasmine walked with Gina. When Gina noticed he was hanging back, she stopped and slipped her arm through his. Okay, things were looking up and not just in his pants. “Cold?”

Gina looked up to him and smiled. “A little. Not as cold as I was at the ranch, though.”

He slipped his arm around her and let Jasmine lead them around the park.

“Are you worried?”

Was he supposed to play the big strong man part, or tell the truth? He chose the truth since Gina was not one to stand for even white lies. “Yeah, I’m scared to death. You?”

“Uh-huh. I don’t think my heart has slowed down since Annabelle called me this afternoon.”

“Thanks for rushing to the hospital. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t.”

“Really?” She looked surprised.

“Really. I’ve spent the last week thinking about what I’ve done, how I’ve handled things.”

“We’ve both made mistakes. Believe me, I’ve had a few people point them out to me today. I hate it when they’re right.”

“Yeah, there’s no shortage of that going around. Before I left Gramps this afternoon, he read me the riot act. To give the old man credit, he didn’t say anything I hadn’t already said to myself a thousand times.”

“So you took a long run to think or to get away?”

“To think.”

“About?”

“What I could do to get back to where we were before we left the ranch.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. We can’t take back what happened. We just have to decide where to go from here.”

Ben spent the rest of the walk in a daze. Before he knew it, they were back at the front door. He walked the girls in and waited for Gina to tell him to leave. After all, she’d just said they couldn’t go back. He’d been trying to re-learn the art of breathing ever since.

Gina took the leash off Jasmine and put her keys back in her pocketbook. She shuffled from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. He stood between her and the door waiting for the ax to drop. She bit her lip and looked up at him, her big eyes shining in the light of the chandelier. “Are you coming to bed?”

Ben’s stomach took a dip. “I guess that’s up to you. If you want to toss out a pillow, I can take the couch.”

“Is that what you want?”

He closed his eyes and prayed that he wouldn’t say the wrong thing. He opened them to find her standing so close that if he took a deep breath, they’d touch. He placed his hands on her shoulders and ran them down her arms to hold her hands. Sliding them behind her back, he pulled her close. The feel of her against him had him stifling a groan. “I’ve made it abundantly clear I want to be wherever you are. But when it comes down to it, it’s your call, Gina. I’ve given up trying to steer this relationship. Whenever I’ve tried, I’ve hit the skids, so to speak.”

Gina bit her lower lip and he held back the urge to soothe the redness she’d created.

“Just because we can’t go back to the way we were at the ranch doesn’t mean we can’t go forward. Come to bed.”

Ben let out a breath and picked her up. Jasmine barked and jumped around his feet.

“What is it with you mountain men always feeling the need to carry me around?”

Ben decided not to press his luck and say he was the only man allowed to carry her anywhere, especially to bed. He took the steps two at a time, careful not to tread on Jasmine. When he made it to their bedroom, he let her slide down the length of his body. Jasmine jumped on a doggie bed in the corner and turned a few circles before lying down with her paws crossed in front of her.

“She’s not sleeping with us?”

Gina shrugged. “Only if she has doggie nightmares, or if one of us feels the need to cuddle.”

“If I’m going to be cuddling with someone, it’s not going to be Jasmine.”

***

Ben’s words sent a shiver through Gina that was impossible to disguise. The way he watched her was unnerving. She took a deep breath and opened the top button of his shirt. Her hands shook and no matter how many times she told herself she’d already seen him naked, this time felt like the first.

Gina tackled the second button as he pulled her blouse from her waistband. His thumbs caressed her stomach as his hands held her hips. She fumbled her way down the button band and pulled his shirt from his pants. She’d like to think she’d forgotten how wonderful he looked, but she hadn’t. She’d seen him every night in her dreams, kissed him, made love to him, only to awaken alone and needy. It was almost a relief to know that tomorrow morning she wouldn’t wake reaching for him only to find a cold empty bed, or worse, Jasmine.

Ben unbuttoned her jeans; blood rushing through her ears muffled the sound of the slide of the zipper. She reached for his belt buckle and his hands stayed hers. “Wait.”

She raised her eyes to his; Ben’s look of uncertainty stopped her. “What’s wrong?”

Ben took a deep breath and blew it out. He shook his head as if to clear his mind. “Gina, I can’t do this. If you are looking for comfort or a roll in the hay, I’ll grab a pillow and sleep on the couch. If you want me, I’m yours for the taking, but I want this to be a fresh start. I want this to last forever.”

For whatever reason, Ben was always the one in the relationship to know exactly what he wanted to do, and he always seemed to have no problem steering her in the direction he wanted to go. Now, she was the one leading—which on one hand was nice since she always resented the fact that he’d spent most of their relationship ten paces ahead of her on so many levels. But along with the leadership position came the pressure to make the right decision, and live with the consequences. It was not as easy as it looked. She’d never been the one to step into a relationship and if she removed his belt buckle, that’s exactly what she’d be doing. She’d always been the one to run away, and that’s what she’d done with Ben. The feelings she had for him scared her down to her toes, but after she’d left him, those same feelings followed her no matter how far she ran, even across the country. There was no peace to be had, no escape; running hadn’t worked for either of them.

Gina pushed away Ben’s hands and slid the leather strap through the buckle, gave it a tug, and pulled it free right before she went up on her tiptoes and kissed him hard, letting go of the anger and fear she’d carried with her all her life. Ben wrapped his arms around her and for the first time since she left him, she felt at home.

The rest of their clothes and any uncertainty they held were shed before they made it to their bed. For a moment, she looked into his eyes and found everything she’d lost, and everything she’d longed for over the last weeks. His hands slid over her body, dragging her close, caressing, exciting, tantalizing. It was familiar and new at the same time.