Yours Unfaithfully (31 page)

I’ve only told you half of the story, Tim thought. I wonder if you’d still think I was a good man if I told you the rest?

“I will, I’ll think about it.” In fact he knew he’d think about nothing else.

It was Thursday before they arrived back, and as they parked the car at the Manor, Simon briefed Tim on his duties for the following day.

“Tim, I’m glad you decided not to have me hire someone to tail Melanie. I think you would have felt bad about it when she gets back, and I’m certain the answer would have been to say there’s nothing going on, nothing at all. I want you to take tomorrow off, spend it with your kids, they’re back to school soon aren’t they?”

“Yes, I think so, I haven’t been taking much notice, I’ve left it all to the nanny, she’s been brilliant. I couldn’t have got by without her.”

“Well, take them all out somewhere and while you’re at it, let her see she’s appreciated. Have a lovely weekend and I’ll see you here on Monday. We’re up to London, but only for the day.”

“Thanks Simon, for everything.”

“Don’t mention it, Tim, that’s what chums are for.”

At soon as they set eyes on him, the kids went wild, pleased to see him despite his dismal attempts at being a caring father during the past few weeks. Amy threw herself at him and even Henry hugged him. Trudy was doing a great job, but they were missing their mother, and Tim was the next best thing. He determined to spend the evening with them, perhaps the cinema, and he’d let them choose what they did tomorrow. Above all, he wanted to prove to himself that he could be a good parent;, not like Mel, who was willing to desert her children for the sake of her job. Whether he knew it or not, his actions were born of pure resentment, papered over by a facade of parental love and responsibility. He wasn’t ready to face the fact that his resolve had disintegrated under the strain of being left to fend for himself. Not only was he happy to be manipulated by Nina, he was convinced that it was he who was steering that relationship. Trudy was delighted at the chance to cook for Tim as well as the kids and Tim was pleasantly surprised at how good she was, it seemed that she was good at everything, including being father and mother to his children. When he suggested they all go to the cinema they were immediately enthusiastic, each suggesting a different film. Once they had decided which it was to be they got changed and Tim drove them in Mel’s car. It made him uneasy at first; the sight of her gloves on the passenger seat and the familiar smell of her car air freshener – Mel was fastidious about things like that. It felt really strange to see Trudy sitting in the passenger seat. Mel liked him to drive when they went out as a family and she’d often put her hand across to rest on him while he was driving. He missed those little intimacies, those unspoken moments that were worth a thousand words. Trudy was so excited, just as much as the kids in fact, at the prospect of an evening out. It was like he was spending his evening with four kids. He realised how lucky he was to have them.

It was gone eleven when they got home and after kissing him goodnight the children went up to their rooms. Tim watched as Trudy made herself a hot chocolate. She sensed that he was uncertain of himself, missing his wife and trying desperately to make amends for his shortcomings as a doting father.

“Would you like me to make you a drink, Mr. Fisher?”

“Thanks Trudy, can I have a white coffee?”

“Of course, go and sit down and I’ll bring it in to you.”

“Tim did as he was told. He sat in
his
armchair, in
his
lounge and wondered why he was obeying
her
command. But then, that’s what he did; Tim Fisher obeyed commands. He obeyed his wife; if she said stay here and look after the house and the kids while I skit off on ‘business’ – that’s what he did. He obeyed Simon’s commands, but that was fair enough; he was his boss and a good one at that. Did he obey Nina? No, surely Nina was the one taking commands from him...or was she? She helped him to believe that he was in control, but was it just an illusion perpetrated to make him feel better? And now he was taking orders from Trudy, a girl who had moved into his house two weeks ago and was already making most of the decisions for his children. Who obeyed his commands? No one. Tim was a foot soldier. He wasn’t officer material, not like his wife. She was a commander in every sense of the word. Christ, he couldn’t stand much more of this, it was driving him mad. He was a sucker, that’s what he was, a bloody fool who couldn’t see an inch beyond his nose. Trudy gave him his drink and then sat down opposite him.

“This has been quite hard for you, Mr. Fisher, hasn’t it? I’ve watched you trying to manage without your wife. You two must be very much in love. I hope when I find a husband he’s as nice as you, and I hope I have children as nice as yours. They are wonderful. You should be very proud of them.”

“I am Trudy, and I appreciate all that you’ve done. I haven’t said much to you since you got here and I’m sorry, I was a bit too busy feeling sorry for myself to think about you and what a brilliant job you’re doing, but anyway... thanks.”

“I don’t mind, I’ve seen how distressed you’ve been without her. It’s very natural. She’ll soon be back and then I’ll have to go... I shall be sorry to leave this house; you’ve all made me feel welcome. I’m also a long way from my home and my family... so I know just how you’re feeling.”

“Do you have a boyfriend back in, where is it,” Tim was ashamed to admit he didn’t even know where she was from, “Glasgow?”

“I’m from the Hebrides, but I’ve been down here for a year now and no, I don’t have a boyfriend, there or here. I never work in one place for long enough to make friends.”

Tim looked at her and compared her situation to his. She was away from home, all alone and with no one to turn to and yet she was managing perfectly, coping with not only her problems, for she must have some, everyone does, but also with his problems and those of his family. What qualities this girl must possess to be able to take on such responsibility and then to be told, after a few weeks, thank you but we don’t need you anymore. Jesus, how cruel was that? Yet despite that she had arrived in his house and smiled every day from the minute she arrived. She never allowed anyone to see the sadness she must be feeling, not being able to see her family or to stay in one place long enough to get to know people.

“Trudy,” he started, “you are a bit special you know, watching you caring for us has made me realise just
how
special you are. I owe you so much for taking care of my children at a time when I’m having trouble looking after myself. I’ll be really sorry when you leave this house.”

“Thank you, Mr. Fisher, I prefer not to think about that time yet, or I might cry and we can’t have that, I have work to do.”

“Trudy, will you do me a favour?”

“Of course, Mr. Fisher, what is it?”

“Please call me Tim. “

“If that’s what you prefer, Mr. Fisher, but in most houses it is not permitted to call my employers by their first names.”

“Trudy, in this house you’re one of the family, one of us, in fact at this moment in time you’re more like family than my wife, who has opted to take herself out of here for a month.”

“But that wasn’t her choice, Mr... Tim, she told me all about it when I came for my interview. She was forced to go or she would have lost her job. I know how it is to be forced to go away to work; I think she’s a brave woman to do that for her family.”

“Except it wasn’t like that, Trudy, she wanted to go, no one made her go, she went because she cares more about her job than she does her family. She’s enjoying herself in Poland... with a man she met before she went. In fact, Trudy, you might as well know... I think she might be there because of this man, not because of the job.”

“Is that why you’ve been so unhappy this past week? Have you had some news that you would have preferred not to hear? I’m really sorry... Tim, I had no idea that you were in such a bad situation. If I can help, you only have to ask me, whatever it is, I’ll do my best for you.”

“Thanks Trudy, you’re already helping me by caring for the kids the way you do.”

“I’m tired now, would you mind if I go to bed?”

“No, of course not, and Trudy... thanks again for everything.”

“It’s not a problem. Goodnight, Tim.”

He watched her leave and thought how lucky some man would be to marry this lovely girl and share children with her. Kind and caring, she would never run off and leave her family to fend for themselves. She was the very best kind of woman, better than Mel would ever be. She understood the meaning of loyalty. He wondered if Mel had phoned. If she had, she’d have wondered where they were. His mobile was off in the cinema, so she would just have to wonder until tomorrow. Maybe he would be out again tomorrow, play her at her own game, and give her something to worry about. Sod her, why should he sit here waiting for her to call when it suited her? No, in future he would make it difficult for her to reach him. She might take the hint when she found that he didn’t care if he spoke to her or not, she might just realise that he was worth more than someone to be treated like a puppy that you can leave with friends or put in kennels while you go off on some foreign trip. His thoughts strayed to Nina. He’d told her he would see her tonight, in fact he’d promised her, but it was almost midnight, and she’d be asleep. He couldn’t go round there and expect her to make him welcome at this time of night. Knowing that sleep was impossible until he sorted his head out, he opted to take a walk outside. Maybe the cool breeze would help to clear his thoughts. Making sure he had his keys, he slipped out, quietly catching the door behind him. From the front path he could see Nina’s house. It was in complete darkness, just as he’d expected. He thought about ringing her. Could he at this time of night?

Before he could come to a decision a familiar voice came from the darkness.

“I expected you earlier, Tim. When I saw you drive off with the kids and the nanny, I supposed you were treating them to a McDonalds.”

“Cinema actually, we had a really good night together.”

“Good, give them as much time as you can.”

“I was a bit anxious because of my promise to you; I didn’t want you to think I’d forgotten.”

“I didn’t and, anyway, I saw you come back half an hour ago. I knew you’d be round as soon as they’d all gone to bed. Come on, let’s get inside.”

Once inside, Tim questioned her. “Neen, do you think I’m using you?”

“Probably,” ... she laughed, “exactly like I’m using you. What’s wrong with that, Tim? We need each other, we give ourselves to each other, we use each other. I want to be used by someone who appreciates me, and I know you do. Ben used me for years and never ever appreciated me,
that’s
what makes me resentful.”

“Have you heard from Ben?”

“Not a word... you?”

“I phoned him, I’m meeting him in the Globe Monday evening.”

“Please will you find out what you can about his plans. I mean his plans for me and for his children. You might have to show him a picture of them; he’s probably forgotten them by now.”

“Nina, do you still love Ben? Do you still want him back?”

“I thought I did, but since I’ve been seeing you, the way we’ve been, I’m not sure. Why do you ask?”

“You’ll think I’m crazy if I tell you.”

“I already think you’re crazy, tell me!”

“I think I’m jealous of Ben. See, I told you it was crazy.”

“It is crazy and I’ll tell you why. If he wanted me as his wife, as his lover, and let’s be honest that’s a pretty big if, given that he’s shacked up with ‘Little Miss Pretty’, then he should be the one who’s jealous, not you. You’re the one whose sleeping with his wife after all. And you are the one I want most. That would be two good reasons for most husbands to be jealous wouldn’t it?”

“When you put it like that I guess I’m the lucky one. I want you and I’ve got you, it doesn’t get much better than that.”

“It’s good now Tim, but what happens in a couple of weeks’ time when Mel gets back? You and she will soon make up and then I’ll be out in the cold, on my own, the forgotten lover. You should always remember, Tim... lovers are for life, not just for Christmas!”

“The way I feel about you, Neen, I can’t begin to think of not wanting you. We promised each other we’d always be friends, I meant it then and I still do.”

“So what are you going to say to Mel? I won’t be long love, I’m just going next door to knock up your best friend. Tim, when she gets back it’s over. Don’t think I don’t know that. I understand the rules, but I also know I’d sooner have you for another two weeks and then lose you than not have you at all.”

“Then it’s like I said before, I’m just using you.”

“Yes you are, think of me like your village post office. Either use me or lose me... so stop arguing and use me.”

She took Tim’s hand and smiling they went upstairs to bed.

Poznan was experiencing hot, sunny weather, quite normal for August and perfect for enjoying the lake complex with all its sporting facilities. The Park Hotel was full, mainly with German tourists who knew its reputation for high quality food and its five star service. In the two weeks Melanie had been there she’d never once had a lager that wasn’t cool enough or a meal that wasn’t perfect. The staff were friendly and helpful, all of which eased the pain of separation from her family and her home. On the first day she had been extremely uptight, spoiling for a fight with Mr. Bigshot Naziree, determined that he would see the error of his ways. She’d rehearsed her lines to ensure the maximum effect. What was all that stuff about the pen being mightier than the sword? She believed profusely that the sharpness of her tongue would prove mightier than any pen wielded by Ratface Naziree. He’d better not start sending her memos... memos demanding this or that, Christ if he dared she would tell him where he could put his memos. At the first meeting of the delegation she was introduced to Hugh Ballantyne, Major Projects Director for Stellar Haufman plc. She liked him from the first handshake; his mature, no nonsense approach oozed confidence. In appearance he reminded her of Richard Geer, the slightly silvering hair, the gentle smile, the certain knowledge that he didn’t have to try hard to impress.