Zero (2 page)

“The ancient Spartans were a warrior
civilization. They met whatever came their way head on. They were fearless.
Most notably they were the group of Greeks that impeded the Persian invasion of
Greece. Although the first contingent that was sent to hold off the Persian
army all died at the battle of Thermopile, their sacrifice bought Greece time
to gather and mount a counter attack that would push the invading Persian army
back.”

Alan stared wide-eyed at the slides
that changed along with the history teacher’s lecture. Pictures of muscular men
with bronze armor embodied everything Alan wished he was. These were men who
were afraid of nothing. Men who made Brent Carson look like a spoiled
kindergartener.

Alan felt a smile spread across his
lips as he continued to look at the pictures on the slideshow from his front
seat in his favorite class. These men, these Spartans wouldn’t be afraid of
anything. They wouldn’t hesitate to look death in the face, let alone go to a
high school dance.

If his heroes could die for their
cause then Alan knew what he had to do. He had to take Dr. Larson’s advice and
go to the dance, no matter how scared he might be. Besides this could be it.
Maybe this was the moment things would start looking up.

For the first time in a very long time
Alan felt like himself. Hope had been planted. Alan was beginning to feel
better all ready.

“Nope, you can’t take the car.”

“I know you have rules but I’m
eighteen now and I have my license. I would only need it to go to the tuxedo
shop and to the dance tonight, that’s it.”

Tony raised his eyebrows and gave him
a look that said he had heard him but didn’t believe him. “You’re going where?”

Alan agreed that it did sound out of
the ordinary for him. “I’m going to the dance tonight.” An idea sprung into
Alan’s mind like a coiled spring being released. “Technically, it’s my
psychiatrist’s orders. She thought it would be good for me to get out of my
shell.”

Tony pursed his lips. “And how are you
going to afford a tuxedo there, James Bond? Those aren’t exactly cheap.”

“I know. I thought about that but I still
have the money I earned from working over the summer at the library. I could
use that.”

Tony let out a long sigh, “Listen,
buddy, I admire you going and your willingness to try and socialize but the car
is just off limits. I can give you a ride if you want but that’s the best I can
do.”

Alan knew arguing would be pointless.
Once Tony had made up his mind on a subject it would be easier to move a
mountain than convince him otherwise. “Okay, thanks anyway.”

Alan bit his lower lip as he made his
way up the creaking stairs and to his room. Tony took care of three orphaned
boys including Alan. Since the other two boys were still in elementary school
that meant Alan was allowed to have his own room making the other two boys
share. Alan entered his haven closing the door behind him.

You can’t give up now. Not when you
finally feel good about a plan.

It seemed as if it had been years that
Alan had felt depressed. The anger was a more recent feeling. The anger came
from his inability to do anything about his depression. Now when hope had
finally been found Alan refused to let it go. Alan shuffled to his bed and
threw himself on top of the lumpy mattress.

There has to be a way.

Alan glanced out the window at the
setting sun. If there was going to be a way then he had to come up with one
fast. He still needed to get a tuxedo and make it to the dance. An image of
calling Dr. Larson and her picking him up as his date teased him. Alan smiled
as he shook his head.

Then the answer came to him from the
most unexpected person, Tony.

“Alan,” Tony’s voice came through the
door. “The boys have their Scout meeting tonight. We’re carpooling with the
neighbors next door. We’ll be back by nine.”

Alan cocked his head to the side as
his brain processed a new plan. A dangerous plan that hinged on Tony and the
boys being driven by the neighbors.

“Alan? Did you hear me?”

“Uhh—yeah—okay.” Alan
could hear Tony’s feet walk across the wood floors soon accompanied by two
pairs of smaller running steps.

A small amount of adrenaline oozed
through Alan’s veins. He got to his feet and looked out his room window on the
second story. Sure enough Tony and the boys were leaving the house.

Tony was dressed in a Scout uniform
that was made for someone a size or two smaller than him. The two young boys
raced each other to the neighbor’s house. They weren’t taking Tony’s car.

You’re going to get in so much
trouble for this. But if everything goes well tonight, wouldn’t it be worth it?

Alan made his way down stairs to the
houses garage. He paced back and forth deep in thought. Tony’s brand new
Mercedes Benz, sitting sleek and black in the dull light practically seducing
him to enter its leather seats.

Alan fidgeted as he walked up and down
the front of the car, tapping a forefinger on his chin. “You have to. It’s Doctor’s
orders.”

Somewhere in the back of Alan’s mind
he knew he was doing the wrong thing. But he had made up a reason to justify
his actions. Given his current circumstances, that was enough for him.

Alan was and had always been a great
kid. Besides being late to the bus a few times, he was a model student and
always obeyed the rules Tony set in place. The possibility that Alan would
actually steal his car had never crossed Tony’s mind. Alan knew all of this and
almost felt bad-almost.

His fingers tingled as his skin made
contact with the cold spare keys that Tony hung in the garage closet. His grip
tightened around the key ring, making indentions in his hand. He was doing it;
he was really going to do this.

Heart fluttering, Alan made sure he
had his wallet. It was there like a lump of guilt in his pocket.

You can do this. You can do this.

Alan entered the car’s dark interior.
The seats embraced him in their promise of freedom. Alan closed the door beside
him, allowing his hands to run across the smooth steering wheel. Trembling with
a mix of fear and excitement he pushed the ignition button, willing the car to
life. The engine purred to life, like a cat yawning from a nap.

Alan had only driven a handful of
times and never by himself. The deal Tony and he had made just a year before
was one Alan was positive Tony had only agreed to because he was sure Alan
couldn’t do it. The agreement was that Alan had to get straight A’s for the
year. If he did that Tony would allow him to take driver’s education, but Alan
still had to find a way to pay for it himself.

Alan had made good on his end of the
bargain even getting a summer job at the city library to pay for his driving
classes. Tony had reluctantly allowed him to get his license but even then Alan
had only driven a handful of times, always with Tony in the car bracing himself
against the dash as if at any moment Alan was going to wreck.

But this time was different. This time
Alan was alone. Alan reached up a finger to the visor and clicked the garage
door opener’s sticky blue button. Mechanical grating overcame the purr of the
engine as the door to his freedom opened. The sun’s last setting light showed
through the opening door with a soft glow.

This is it. After this, there is no
going back. You’ll be grounded for sure. Maybe even forced to move homes. But
if tonight you could stop being depressed, if tonight could be some type of
turning point it would all be worth it.

Alan carefully put the car in reverse,
checked his mirrors and very slowly pulled out of the garage.

“Oh and why yes, sir. You would look
absolutely gorgeous in this one. I mean just feel the quality of the fabric. No
go ahead feel it. I mean this kind of material all over your body? Forget about
it, honey.”

Alan reached out a tentative hand to
touch the fabric. The sales associate at the tuxedo rental store was right. It
felt great.

“How much is this one?”

“Oh, let’s see here, you said just a
one day rental?”

Alan nodded. “Technically I just need
it for the night.”

“Oh, well aren’t you cute. We don’t
rent by the hour so it’ll have to be a day. Going to a dance?”

Alan nodded at the energetic sales
associate. He was about Alan’s height wearing a skintight suit with a nametag
that read, “Enrique”.

“Three hundred and fifty-seven.”

Alan looked confused for a second and
then thought he realized where the misunderstanding had occurred. “Oh no I’m sorry.
I said ‘rent’. I don’t want to buy it. I just need it for a few hours.”

Enrique shook his head, his thickly
gelled hair not swaying the slightest bit. “No, sweetie, aren’t you too cute.
That
is
the rental price for the day.”

Alan’s mouth went dry. “Don’t you have
anything else?”

“I’m sorry. For the last few weeks
we’ve been all but sold out. With the school dance coming up, I mean, my guess
is that would be the reason we’re so low on inventory. If you’d like I can call
around to see if any of our stores in the surrounding area have anything?”

Alan shook his head. He knew going to
another location now would mean he would be late for the dance.  “No, no
it’s okay.” Alan had to force out the words through a clenched jaw. The tux
would almost deplete his savings from his summer job. Still he had come this
far. The words, “I’ll take it.” Came out slowly and painfully.

“Oh, well, you are making a great
choice, sir. I know it seems a bit expensive but the quality is superb and you
can be sure that everyone else will be looking at you.”

“Great.”

“If you have your card I’ll ring you
up. Did you want to put it on now? You are more than welcome to use our
changing room.”

Alan looked up at a large clock on the
store’s wall. “Yeah I better.”

Alan dug into his pocket. He handed
his bankcard to Enrique making himself think about anything besides the amount
of days he had had to work to earn this piece of clothing for a few hours.

Enrique directed him to a dressing
room before he left to ring up Alan’s order.

Alan had no idea that a tuxedo had so
many parts. It seemed like there were more items to figure out where to put by
the minute. Socks and shoes were simple. Things like trying to tie the bowtie
and how exactly to place the cummerbund were more of a challenge.  

“All rung up, sir,” Enrique’s voice
sounded through the thin dressing room curtain. “Do you need any help?”

Panic rose in Alan’s chest. “No, no
I’m fine just trying to figure out this bowtie, it’s like trying to solve a
Rubik’s Cube.”

“Here let me help,” Enrique pulled
back the curtain without showing the slightest pause. Before Alan could protest,
the tuxedo shop worker’s fingers were flying around Alan’s bowtie like a
trained professional.

“There,” Enrique said taking a step
back, “Very secret agent, sir. If I do say so myself.”

Alan, still recovering from the
curtains being drawn back, took a look at himself in the mirror. It was true.
His usual tall and lanky build had been totally transformed by the tuxedo. The
material made him look suave and important. It complimented his height while at
the same time masking his lack of muscle. Alan stood back stunned. Maybe he had
made the right decision this night after all.

“Well, better hurry,” Enrique said
handing Alan the receipt that held far too many digits. “You don’t want to miss
your hair appointment?”

“Hair appointment?”

“Ummmm… yeah you can’t go to the dance
looking like that.”

Alan examined his hair in the mirror.
His straight dark blond locks fell to his shoulders. He hadn’t even thought
about getting a haircut.

Enrique took Alan’s silence in stride.
“Trust me, a tuxedo like that deserves a haircut to match. My cousin Hector
works right next door. Tell him cousin Estar sent you and he’ll hook you up.”

“Oh, child, you came to the right
place. I just got off the phone with Enrique and don’t worry the haircut won’t
cost as much as the tux.”

Alan nodded doing the math in his head
trying to figure out how much money he still had left. Hector was the spitting
image of Enrique, the two looked like they could be twins. “Okay, how much is
it?”

“I’ll do you right since my cousin
sent you over. Let’s say forty dollars but you have to promise not to go around
and tell people that. Why if my other clients knew I was handing out haircuts
for that price…” Hector waived a dismissive hand at the thought, “Well, I’d be
out of business in a week.”

Alan nodded doing the math in his head
again. He would be out of money almost to the dollar.

It’s going to be worth it, it’s all
going to be worth it.

“Come now, I understand you’re in a
hurry for a dance. But don’t worry. Being fashionably late is still in style.
And by the time I’m done with you, people will wait for your arrival to start
the party.”

Hector snapped his finger with a headshake
and directed Alan to a seat. Alan allowed Hector to place a cape around him,
tightened at the neck. The bright lights and light chatter from other patrons
in the hair salon made Alan feel anything except at ease.

Alan’s hair grew slowly. The length he
let it grow meant that he only needed a haircut a few times a year. When he did
go it was only because Tony insisted. Tony would provide him with a few dollars
and he would make his way to a small mom and pop shop that usually meant a nick
or two on the ear or neck.

Hector chatted on about dances and how
well Alan would be received as his fingers flew over Alan’s hair like his
cousin’s while tying the bowtie.

Alan smiled where he had to however
his mind was anywhere but in the moment. As the time for the dance grew closer
Alan began second guessing himself. His hands begin to perspire on the smooth
metal of the styling chair.

What if you’re wrong. What if you
are doing all of this just to stand in the corner by yourself all over again?

Alan started to zone out as the
familiar feelings of fear and doubt began to seep their way into his veins.
Ironically it was Hector’s voice that made him stop.

“Come on now, we have to wash and
style your hair.”

Alan looked up at the mirror in front
of him just as Hector ran to block his view.

“No—no peaking now we’re just
about done come on.”

Alan obeyed following the hyperactive
hairdresser to the washing basin. He sat in the leather recliner-like chair laying
his head back for Hector.

The salon attendant chattered on while
he used generous helpings of shampoo and conditioner.

“Nervous?”

Alan looked up at Hector’s smiling
face. “Why would you say that?”

“Ummm… well let’s see. You’ve hardly
said a word while you’ve been here, you look like you’re going to bore a whole
through whatever you’re looking at and I saw the sweat marks on my chair when
you got up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I—“

“Don’t apologize. I’m just asking if
you’re nervous. First dance?”

“Yeah, I mean I am nervous and, yes,
it is my first dance.”

Hector dried his hair and instructed
Alan to follow him back to the styling seat. He stood in front of Alan blocking
the view of himself in the mirror. “Don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Be
confident and know that you look great. The tuxedo is perfect and…” Hector’s
voice trailed off as he mixed a small amount of gel into Alan’s hair. “And your
hair—if I do say so myself. Looks amazing.”

Hector stepped back taking off the
long apron covering Alan’s suit. Alan didn’t know what to say. He didn’t
recognize the person looking back at him with an open mouth.

Alan had always either had long hair
or hair in the process of becoming long. Hector had cut his hair short, with a
style that pushed the top forward. The front was combined up and to the side.  “What
do you think?”

“I—I—“

“Good. That it the response I was
looking for. Now come on, Cinderella, you’re going to be late for the ball.”