Zombie CSU (53 page)

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Authors: Jonathan Maberry

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According to Joe Student, editor for
Philly EDGE
(newspaper) in Philadelphia, “A story (such as the attack on the research center guard in our scenario) would most likely have its genesis through the ‘cops’ reporter’s monitoring of the local police scanner. If it was a full-out zombie attack, since there would ostensibly be multiple victims and an apparent homicide, the reporter would be sent to the scene with other crime-beat reporters added as the case/story became bigger. On the most local level, the decision to run the news of a murder would be instantaneous; the decision to associate the attacks as zombie-related would have to come from someone within law enforcement or the coroner’s office suggesting and substantiating the claim.”

Gregg Winkler’s Decaying Zombie Quiz, Part 3

 
     
  • 1. The Cranberries’ 1994 single, “Zombie,” is a song protesting what?
  •  
     
  • 2. What 1941 movie depicts an Austrian doctor-turned-spy using newly created zombies to obtain war intelligence?
  •  
     
  • 3. What was the name of Peter Jackson’s zombie movie?
  •  
     
  • 4. Which of the following will not make a zombie?
  •  
     
  • a. The bite of a zombie
  •  
     
  • b. A voodoo ritual
  •  
     
  • c. Drinking a zombie’s spit
  •  
     
  • d. Combine rum, crème de almond, sweet and sour, triple sec, orange juice, and 151 proof rum into a Collins glass over ice.
  •  
     
  • 5. Tetrodotoxin, which is a potentially lethal toxin said to have been found in relation to Haitian vodoun practices that can leave a person in a “state near death,” can be found in all but which of the following?
  •  
     
  • a. Puffer fish
  •  
     
  • b. Starfish
  •  
     
  • c. Jellyfish
  •  
     
  • d. Some flatworms
  •  
 

I asked these reporters how this process might change if an outbreak was suspected. “Even small newspapers have someone who is particularly interested in health stories and has the contacts,” Barr says. “That person would probably break the story. However, if the story is of a large enough magnitude, the entire staff would be put to work covering various aspects of an outbreak (financial, health, society, etc.). Associated Press would likely send someone to the area to provide coverage to the entire state and beyond if the outbreak is large. Again, the reporter would check with hospital officials, doctor offices, the local health department, local university (they might have students impacted or the faculty might be able to speak about diseases and their impact on society, i.e., how people react), even the person on the street. In a small town, the best news tips are found in the local diner. The police would play a secondary role, perhaps keeping the peace at the hospital. I imagine a larger community would have a bioterrorism unit within the police department. The state police in Michigan have such a unit that might be called into action.”

Student adds, “Most likely whichever reporter covers the town/area in which the event happened, the more significant the outbreak, the more reporters assigned. Also, if it had a national scope, AP and other national, and international agencies and press could potentially send staff. Of course, there would be some vetting because there is a health risk; it would be more similar to the coverage of the Iraq War than the 9/11 attacks. Not every reporter would just be sent in to cover news as it happens.”

When asked how reporters know what’s reliable information and what’s hearsay or gossip, Student observed: “Insiders at hospitals, in municipal government and public safety offices. Not those giving the press releases but those talking directly to people at the scene. Some rumor and exaggeration makes it through, but a good reporter can check it out before alleging something outlandish in print.”

“There would be some doubt about a story with zombies,” says Elaine Viets, a novelist
2
who reported for the
St. Louis Post Dispatch
for twenty-five years. “If a story just sounded too fantastic a reporter would need more than one source because there are plenty of folks, even experts, who will say anything just to get into print. Good reporters get at least two sources before they put their name to the story.”

Outbreaks and epidemics are newsworthy. At what point, however, does the story get moved to the front page? Student remarked, “It’s all about the size of the story, or how big it might get. Scope, immediacy and interest are all factors, but once casualties can be counted, the story is played larger. Best example is the 2004 tsunami in Indonesia. If the wave had claimed as many lives as the 2007 Minnesota bridge collapse, the story probably doesn’t make the first page in the U.S., but as a result of its scope it goes above the fold; the bridge story was as significant domestically though there were less lives lost because of its developing nature. This story had great potential because it had a local angle in nearly every U.S. community where there was a structurally deficient bridge.”

Barr says, “In a small town, it would probably start below the fold on the front unless it was clear we were dealing with a serious outbreak. In that case, it would be top story and would remain above the fold until the crisis was on the decline.”

In fiction and film there’s always talk about “preventing a panic” when a truly epic story is about to break.

“Simple,” says Student. “What do we know to be accurate? Journalism is a de facto public service, so it needs to transmit information without exaggeration. Of course…the economic impact of a sensational story could conceivably tempt some editors to hype findings more. Are the killers at-large? Are they capable of killing again? Are there any leads? Is the tornado on the ground? Will more tornadoes hit? Are more storms on the way? And so on. That’s info that people
need
to know. People can find out that they were zombies, or an F-5 tornado, later.”

“The editor’s first concern would be avoiding a panic,” says Barr, “which is why it would be so important to have reliable sources providing real information and tips for people to follow and then insure that information is disseminated to the schools, major retail outlets (Wal-Mart, etc.) and major employers in the area. This is really more the responsibility of the local health department, where effective leadership would be imperative to avoiding a full-scale panic. A newspaper must report the news responsibly. That does not mean covering things up, though, simply because some government official is hesitant to go on the record. It’s a delicate balance.”

 

Documenting the Dead
by Jonathan Maberry
“If it’s a crisis, it’s a story.”

 

In pop fiction, reporters and law enforcement are always at odds. How does this relationship work in the real world?

“Depends on the individuals,” Student muses. “Both groups have a job to do and can hamper or help the other’s work. It comes down to trust and how the relationships are built. If it is antagonistic, it’s hard for it not to remain that way. Ultimately though, just like a cop has to write a ticket, serve papers, etc. reporters have to report a story.”

Barr says, “At small newspapers, it is up to the reporter covering the cops and courts beat to develop a symbiotic relationship with law enforcement. In most cases, reporters and cops get along just fine as long as they respect each other’s boundaries. There are certain things cops can’t reveal and there are certain things reporters have a duty to report. Having said that, if the reporter is any good at all, she will have developed at least one or two law enforcement sources in the community that she can call and get the story off the record. That off the record information can then be used to track down information on the record. It can sort of provide road map for what questions need to be asked of the ‘officials.’”

The Worst Zombie Films of All Time, Part 2

 
     
  • Lord of the Dead
    (2002): A spectacularly bad piece of crap. This is no joke: One of the “demons” in the movie is actually a hand puppet. And it’s
    not
    supposed to be funny.
  •  
     
  • Curse of the Cannibal Confederates
    (1982): I’m all for historical zombie stories, but for god sake give us at least passable makeup effects, a story, characters we care about, good lighting, above nineth grade acting…I’m not asking for all of this. Any single one of those would have helped.
  •  
     
  • Biker Zombies from Detroit
    (2001): A demon recruits bikers for his gang of zombies. I think that sentence was the entire script before they started shooting.
  •  
     
  • Bloodsuckers from Outer Space
    (1984): Texas farmers become zombies. Neighbors fail to notice. We’re supposed to laugh; but we don’t notice.
  •  
     
  • Bloody Bill
    (2004): One of those movies that more or less “remakes” a film (
    Ghost Town
    ), which didn’t deserve a remake. Not surprisingly it tanks.
  •  
     
  • Zombie Nation
    (2004): It’s just pure crap. There’s nothing nice you can say about a film whose zombie makeup consists entirely of too much eye shadow. It’s also dreadfully misogynistic.
  •  
     
  • Dead Heat
    (1998): Well before he became TV’s Mr. Warmth, Treat Williams was slogging through a lot of really bad movies. This one’s about zombie cops trying to solve their own murder. Yeesh.
  •  
 

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