Read Zombies vs. Unicorns Online
Authors: Holly & Larbalestier Black,Holly & Larbalestier Black
Zombies vs. Unicorns
MARGARET K. McELDERRY BOOKS
An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Compilation copyright © 2010 by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier
“The Highest Justice” copyright © 2010 by Garth Nix • “Love Will Tear Us Apart” copyright © 2010 by Alaya Dawn Johnson • “Purity Test” copyright © 2010 by Naomi Novik • “Bougainvillea” copyright © 2010 by Carrie Ryan • “A Thousand Flowers” copyright © 2010 by Margo Lanagan • “The Children of the Revolution” copyright © 2010 by Maureen Johnson • “The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn” copyright © 2010 by Diana Peterfreund • “Inoculata” copyright © 2010 by Scott Westerfeld • “Princess Prettypants” copyright © 2010 by Meg Cabot • “Cold Hands” copyright © 2010 by Cassandra Claire, LLC • “The Third Virgin” copyright © 2010 by Kathleen Duey • “Prom Night” copyright © 2010 by Libba Bray
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ARGARET
K. M
C
E
LDERRY
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OOKS
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Book design by Sonia Chaghatzbanian and Lauren Rille
The text for this book is set in Adobe Garamond.
Manufactured in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Zombies vs. unicorns / [comp. by] Holly Black, Justine Larbalestier.—1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: Twelve short stories by a variety of authors seek to answer the question of whether zombies are better than unicorns.
ISBN 978-1-4169-8953-0 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-4424-1283-5 (eBook)
1. Short stories. [1. Zombies—Juvenile fiction. 2. Unicorns—Juvenile fiction. 3. Short stories. 4. Zombies—Fiction. 5. Unicorns—Fiction.] I. Black, Holly. II. Larbalestier, Justine.
III. Title: Zombies versus unicorns.
PZ5.Z62 2010
[Fic]—dc22
2010003732
For Scott Westerfeld, because there’s no one
I’d rather spend the zombie apocalypse with
—J. L.
For Justine, who dragged me into this,
and to whom I am so grateful
—H. B.
Introduction
The Highest Justice
by
Garth Nix
Love Will Tear Us Apart
by
Alaya Dawn Johnson
Purity Test
by
Naomi Novik
Bougainvillea
by
Carrie Ryan
A Thousand Flowers
by
Margo Lanagan
The Children of the Revolution
by
Maureen Johnson
The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn
by
Diana Peterfreund
Inoculata
by
Scott Westenfeld
Princess Prettypants
by
Meg Cabot
Cold Hands
by
Cassandra Clare
The Third Virgin
by
Kathleen Duey
Prom Night
by
Libba Bray
Since the dawn of time one question has dominated all others:
Zombies or Unicorns?
Well, okay, maybe not since the dawn of time, but definitely since February 2007. That was the day Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier began a heated exchange about the creatures’ relative merits on Justine’s blog. Since then the question has become an unstoppable Internet meme, crowding comment threads and even making it to YouTube.
Here in the real world Holly and Justine are often called upon to defend, respectively, unicorns and zombies. The whole thing has gotten so out of hand that the only remedy is …
Zombies vs. Unicorns.
The anthology.
That’s right, you have in your hands the book that will settle the debate once and for all.
For Justine it is a question of metaphors: Which creature better symbolizes the human condition? The answer is obviously zombies, which can be used to comment on almost any aspect of our existence. They are walking entropy. They are the dissolute wreck of consumerism. They are the eventual death that faces us all. They are a metaphor for slavery, conformity, and oblivion. What are unicorns? Fluffy, monochrome, sticky tedium.
For Holly, however, unicorns are majestic beasts that are at once symbols of healing and fierce killers with long pointy objects attached to their heads. They were hunted by mythical kings,
their image emblazoned on standards by noble families. And they continue to fascinate people today (often in sticker-and-rainbow form, she admits). Besides, between a unicorn and a zombie, which would you rather be trapped down a mine shaft with?
They spend a lot of time having arguments like this one:
Holly
: Seriously, you don’t like unicorns? What kind of person doesn’t like unicorns?Justine
: What kind of a person doesn’t like zombies? What have zombies ever done to you?Holly
: Zombies shamble. I disapprove of shambling. And they have bits that fall off. You never see a unicorn behaving that way.Justine
: I shamble. Bits fall off me all the time: hair, skin cells. Are you saying you disapprove of me?Cherie Priest
: But Holly, if you ask nicely, a zombie will give you a piggyback ride even if you are not a virgin. And that is why zombies win.Justine
: See, Holly? No one holds with your zombie-hating ways.Holly
: But the horn of a unicorn can cure diseases! Possibly the diseases you might get from accepting a piggyback ride from a zombie.Justine
: Oh, I see, so you’re all for the use of unicorn products. Are you thinking about having a unicorn coat made for yourself as well? I wonder how PETA feels about your unicorn-exploiting ways… . Not to mention that zombies don’t
have
diseases. I’m appalled that you would spread lies about them.
Clearly, we had to gather the finest minds in our field to answer this urgent question.
Team Zombie, led by ,
consists of:
, who has dated only zombies since high school.