Zoo Breath (9 page)

“Yeah.”

I rolled back and looked up at Spidey in his web in the corner of the ceiling. He hadn’t moved in weeks. Outside, the bufos down by the river started acting up. The noise they made was really loud. But I liked it. A mosquito sang in my ear and I batted it away. That was a sound I hated.

“Ah, man!” Julio made choking sounds.

“Ack! Ack!”

I looked down over the edge of the bunk. “What?”

His face was covered by his pillow. “Your dog wen’ fut!”

I caught a whiff and rolled
back onto my bed, cracking up. Julio was right down there in the thick of it.

He kicked the bottom of my bunk hard. “Not funny!”

I flew up an inch, still laughing.

“Blech! That is so bad!”

“Hey, catch
that
in the jar. It can be a prop.”

Julio popped up, grabbed the jar on my desk, and took the lid off.

“That was a
joke,”
I said.

“No, it’s a good idea. How you catch a fut?”

I looked down. “Well, go right down by
Streak’s okole and scoop it up, quick before you breathe it all in.”

Julio captured some stink air, clamped the lid down, and jumped back in bed. “Got it!”

“Right on, brah,” I said. “Right on!”

He kicked my bunk again.

Awhile later, I heard Ledward outside. His jeep was parked on the grass near my window. I’d turned out the light, but me and Julio weren’t asleep. We’d been talking about sneaking out and rowing my skiff up the river in the dark.

“Boy,” Ledward called through the screen. “You sleeping?”

I rolled onto my elbows and looked out the window. “No.”

“Your friend in there with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, good.”

He stood just outside the window. “You okay?”

“Well … sure … why wouldn’t I be?”

“I just thought … well, you had that phone call. You looked little bit down.”

The bufos were getting quieter now, heading deeper into the night. I rolled onto my back, looking up at the dark ceiling. “I’m fine,” I said.

“Good. But listen … you ever need to talk about anything, you come see me, okay?”

What did he mean? Talk about what?

“So,” Ledward said. “You boys have a good night.”

I listened to the jeep rumble away until there was no sound but the whisper of bufos hopping in the grass down by the water.

“Hey,” Julio said.

“Yeah?”

“What’s more worse, dog breath or dog fut?”

I
woke up the next morning and peeked at my clock on the windowsill. Just after noon. Still early, I thought, stretching. But I didn’t want to waste the day.

I slid down from my bunk and shook Julio. “Hey.”

He groaned. His pillow was over his head to block the light.

Streak was curled by his feet. She raised her head.

“Julio, get up.”

He mumbled something I couldn’t understand.

“Come on. We got an experiment to do.”

He lifted the pillow off his face. “We do?”

“Yeah, remember? It was your idea: find out what’s worse, dog breath or dog fut.”

Julio dropped the pillow back on his face. “Gotta be kidding.”

“Get up! We need stuff for our project.”

“All right, all right.” He sat up and rubbed his face. Streak jumped up and licked him.

He shoved her away. “Git, you pest.”

“Smell her breath,” I said. “See if it’s worse. Go. Smell it now.”

“Not before breakfast.”

“Look,” I said, scratching Streak’s chin. “You hurt her feelings.”

“Pssh.”

Stella was at the kitchen sink, gargling with her back to us. A bottle of blue mouthwash sat on the counter. She jumped when we barged in, catching her doing something she should have been doing in the bathroom.

She turned the water on and spat into the sink. “Where do you get off, sneaking up on people like that?”

“We didn’t sneak up,” I said. “We just came in the kitchen.”

Julio stood behind me. He was scared of her.

“Where’s Mom?” I said.

“What am I, your personal answering machine?”

“All I did was ask.”

“Well, don’t,” she said on her way out of the kitchen.

I opened the fridge and grabbed the milk,
then got a box of Frosted Mini-Wheats and two bowls.

Julio started breathing again. “Man, is she always that friendly in the morning?”

“Now you know what I have to live with.”

We ate Mini-Wheats at the counter by the window. The sun was so bright outside it made me squint.

When we were done we went out through the garage. Streak jumped up and followed us. I tossed her a couple Mini-Wheats, then dropped a scoop of dry dog food in her food dish and filled up her water bowl, which was bone dry.

Streak dug in, looking up at us as she crunched.

“Okay,” I said to Julio. “You ready for the experiment?”

“Nope.”

“Good. Let’s get that jar.”

We had a serious project going on here. We needed to do some detecting.

I got the jar. “So, who’s going to do it?”

“It’s your dog.”

I was hoping he wouldn’t say that. “Fine. You take notes.”

“I take um in my mind.”

“You got a mind?”

We crouched on the grass. Streak sat between us.

I set the jar down. I couldn’t help wondering what it smelled like inside. I half laughed. This was really dumb.

I looked at the jar. Looked at Streak. Shook my head. “Can’t do it.”

“Come on, Calvin. It’s research, remember? Do it for Mr. Purdy.”

I picked up the jar. Put my hand on the lid. This was too disgusting. Even for me.

I set the jar back on the grass and looked at Julio.

“Not me,” he said. “No way.”

Streak ran off to nose around in the grass down by the river.

The sun burned through my T-shirt.

I looked up and saw Stella pass through the living room in the big front window.

Stella, who could make my dog go away by complaining to Mom.

And what was I doing about it?

Catching stinks in a jar.

T
here had to be a solution for Streak.

So, what was the problem? Fixing her breath.

But really, the problem wasn’t Streak. It was Mom and Stella, who couldn’t tell the difference between a regular stink and a good one.

Just then, my first good thought popped into my head. “Forget that jar,” I said. “Streak! Come here, girl!”

She came running.

I put my arm around her. She was sun-warm.

“I got it, Julio! Ho, yeah! You know how Stella was in the kitchen gargling? We can give some of
that
stuff to Streak.”

Julio laughed. “This I got to see! Coco-clown and his gargling dog.”

“Well, maybe she just laps it up.”

Julio shook his head. “You getting desperate, my friend.”

“Wait,” I said. “Be right back.”

I ran into the house and grabbed one of the cereal bowls Julio and I had used. I poured some of Stella’s blue mouthwash into it. It smelled good. If this worked Streak would have breath that smelled just like Stella’s, and how could she complain about that?

Genius!