Big Girl Panties (27 page)

Holly turned her head away from Logan long enough to level a cold, disbelieving glare at Tina.

“Traitor,” she hissed.

Tina grinned apologetically and gave a small shrug. Holly shook her head, her mouth a thin tight line, before turning back to Logan, and he continued. “She told me everything I needed to know in regard to your flight. Then I called and switched your tickets, and booked the seat next to you. We figured it was a much better idea. Now you're a captive audience. And I have witnesses in case you decide to go all ninja on me again, not that it would really stop you. The way I see it, I have six hours to win you over. I hope it's enough. I know just how tough you are.” His smile grew so wide the bloodshot eye completely disappeared within the swollen purple flesh surrounding it.

“I'm not doing this. I'm switching my seat,” Holly replied hotly. She unbuckled and rose, climbing over him, careful not to make contact with him and failing when he grabbed her around the waist to help her safely into the aisle. His hands were warm and strong and she could feel them through her clothing. She gave Tina one more furious glare. “You and Benedict Arnold here can compare some more notes.”

Holly went to the other side of the plane and several rows down, taking a window seat. A minute later, Tina arrived and took the seat beside her. Holly crossed her arms and stared out the window, refusing to look at her. The plane began to taxi to its runway and the flight crew went through the emergency procedures protocol. She seethed. The audacity, the unmitigated gall of him to merrily announce his arrival and reveal his plot and think she'd be anything other than incensed. And then to incorporate her best friend into the plan! She was too irate to be afraid. As the plane took off all she could think about was how good it would feel to push both Logan and Tina out of it—with anvils strapped to their chests. It seemed only minutes later when the flight attendant appeared, asking them if they would like some coffee or anything else to drink and whether she could take their breakfast orders. Holly could feel her skin start to crawl when she overheard the distinct giggle and syrupy quality of the attendant's voice once she got to Logan. Typical. She added it to the list of crap she wouldn't miss when she finally was rid of him. She rounded on Tina.

“I can't believe you did this,” Holly said fiercely. “I can't believe you did this to me. I don't think I can ever forgive you. I hope you're proud of yourself. And that you realize that all you did was fall under his spell, like all the rest of the women who get in his crosshairs. I really thought you were made of stronger stuff.”

Tina waited patiently while Holly ranted and then asked, “Are you done?”

“No, I'm not done. Thanks for letting me spend the last two hours freaking out about how I'd look in an orange jumpsuit with numbers on the back!” Holly snapped. Once again, she felt utterly alone. Only yesterday Tina had detested Logan on her behalf; now she was his co-conspirator. It was overwhelming, too much to bear. It was impossible to comprehend the betrayal. She shook her head, running a hand through her hair. “There. Now I am. I just need to know why. Why would you do this?”

“Because I was there,” Tina said by way of explanation. “I heard you. And I heard him.”

The way she said it made Holly pause. She felt her shoulders loosen from up around her earlobes as the tension began to drain out of her. “All he did was play you, Tina, like he played me,” Holly said dispassionately, resuming her gaze out the window. “It's his specialty.”

“I don't think so. And if you can stop being pissed off for a second, I'll tell you why,” Tina said. When Holly remained staring out the window, she continued quietly. “I've heard that sort of voice before.”

What was Tina getting at? Her quiet confidence was unexpected. Holly turned back from the window.

“I was so jealous of you the day you left for college,” Tina said. “Jealous that you were actually able to do what you always said you were going to do: escape our small insignificant town. It didn't matter that I knew all the reasons you were desperate to get out. Every time I got an e-mail from you, it got worse. There you were, across the country, beginning a life I could only dream about. I was determined to save up my money and try to apply to college the next year. Maybe not the likes of Brown, 'cause you were always smarter than me, but someplace where I could live in a dorm room, really be on my own, have a college experience.”

“I never knew you felt that way,” Holly murmured, her defenses starting to slip. “I was miserable that first year, just so you know.”

Tina chuckled a little. “Trust me, you weren't nearly as miserable as I was when I found out I was pregnant with Danny. I saw any hope of college or even a good job passing me by with that stupid EPT test. And then I realized I didn't have to let it stop me. It was the twenty-first century. I could solve the problem with one trip to a clinic. I could have an abortion without anyone even knowing about it.”

Holly stifled a gasp. She remembered holding Danny right after he was born that first summer she was home from college. He was so small and pink and precious. It had been nearly impossible to wipe the beaming smiles off Tina and Tommy's faces. It was hard to believe that Tina would have even considered termination an option.

“But I knew I could never keep what I was going to do from Tommy. He was already suspicious. He had seen me get sick a couple times and I was acting strangely in general. I figured he would be happy anyway since I was letting him off the hook and everything.”

Holly nodded, saying nothing. Tina's voice became softer.

“But he wasn't happy. In fact, he started to cry. He begged me not to go through with it. He told me that he'd loved me since the second grade. That he had a prayer answered the first time I said I loved him. He told me that he wanted to marry me and have a family, and if I would just give him the chance, he would spend the rest of his life making sure I didn't regret it. And he's lived up to that promise.” Tina smiled. “So far.”

Holly found herself smiling as well. The Blakes' relationship was as strong as it ever had been. Tina had spoken with Tommy and the kids every day while at Holly's. Those conversations were full of affection. It was the same sort of rapport they'd shared back in high school.

Tina continued, her eyes bright. “The point of this story is that until the day I die, I will never forget the look on Tommy's face or the raw emotion in his voice that night. Some people go a whole lifetime and never see someone act that way over them. My heart still skips a beat when I think about it.”

Holly stared at Tina and began biting into her lower lip. This story was certainly leading up to something. Something Holly didn't think she wanted to face.

“Holly,” Tina said quietly. “My heart skipped a beat last night, only this time for you.”

Holly continued to stare, only now with her mouth slightly agape and fresh tears starting to burn her eyelids.
Damn it,
she thought. She had been sure she didn't have any tears left.

Holly began to protest. “I don't think you know what the hell you're talking about.”

“I know what I saw. And what I saw last night was a man who would do anything to keep you from leaving him. And has.”

Holly closed her eyes and leaned her head back. It felt like the world was spinning around her and she didn't know how to make it stop.

“You know what else I think?” Tina asked, and then said bluntly, “I think the truth is you'd rather have a root canal than go back to Fairview. You've just spent so much of your life settling and trying to make the most of rotten situations that you honestly don't believe you deserve anything better. I think it's time to stop all your bullshit and put on your big-girl panties.”

Holly's head snapped back up, insulted. “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me. Wipe that offended look off your face; this past week proved to me you're no delicate flower. Listen, no one was more surprised than me when I got off the plane and saw you. You're a completely different person, which isn't saying all that much considering the last time I saw you was Bruce's funeral. But the fire was back in your eyes and I don't think it was only because you were plotting the big get-even. It's so much deeper. No one wanted to hate Logan or have your plan work more than I did. Even Tommy was jazzed up, thinking about you sticking it to the man. But now I'm not so sure this guy is the villain I thought he'd be, or that you'd be better off without him. When he called your cell phone late last night and I answered it, all he could talk about was how to keep you from getting on this plane.”

“You answered my phone?” Holly asked indignantly, trying to even the playing field. Tina was really letting her have it.

“Well, it kept ringing!” Tina laughed, completely unrepentant. “Like every twenty minutes. You had already cried yourself to sleep and I was already having serious reservations. He's genuine and deeply cares for you; it's so goddamn obvious. Guys don't talk like that unless they mean it. Not to mention he's gorgeous as sin. Something tells me your reaction was disproportionate to what he did to you. Not that I blame you; even he thinks he could have handled it better. He's scared, too, you know. I would be the worst friend ever if I let you walk away from this. I hope you can see past blaming me for helping him.”

“What if you're wrong?” Holly asked weakly, Tina's speech ringing in her ears. She seriously doubted that Logan had ever been scared of anything in his life.

Tina grinned. “There's only one way to find out, and it's sitting right behind you.”

Holly turned around and casually peeked over the back of her seat. Her eyes immediately locked on Logan's. It was as if he had been staring at her seat, unmoving, from the moment she sat down in it, willing her to look at him. His elbow was on the armrest, his thumb under his chin, his finger curled over his upper lip. His eyes bore into hers; even the swollen one. She quickly sat back down.

“He's staring at us.” Holly gulped.

“No,” Tina responded with a giggle. “He's staring at
you
. Now, get over there and find out exactly what he came for.”

“Come with me?” Holly asked feebly.

“No way,” Tina replied, leaning back in her seat. “This is something you need to do on your own. I don't think you really want me there anyway; it's your moment. I'm going to stay here and order the flight attendants around, make the most of my upgraded status. Who knows when I'll get another chance to be treated like a big shot?”

Holly squared her shoulders and stood. Taking great pains to avoid looking directly at him, she crossed over to where Logan was sitting.

“Benedict Arnold convinced me to come talk to you,” she mumbled at his muscular thighs. She watched his legs shift to the side, making room for her to pass him. She sat down in the seat next to him and folded her hands tightly on her lap. She stared at them. She didn't know where to begin, what to say to start the exchange he was determined to have and she would have done anything to avoid. His hand came into her line of vision to rest on top of hers. His strong fingers tried to coax her hands apart and she let them. Then he began to faintly trace her discolored knuckles, the knuckles she'd bruised when they forcefully made contact with his face. He was so gentle, so caring in his touch; it was as if he were examining them to see if she had injured herself while clobbering him. Her throat tightened. She continued to stare into her lap when he took her hand and it left her sight line. She could feel his lips placing a feathery kiss on each of the three affected knuckles before he entwined his fingers in hers. Then he settled both their hands in his lap. It was a gesture so tender, her eyes began to burn with sentiment she didn't want to give in to. He was waiting for her to look up and deal with him, she could tell. She swallowed hard and brought her face up to meet his. He was looking at her earnestly.

“If I had known all the trouble you were going to cause me, I would have stayed an extra night in Toronto,” he said with only a hint of teasing.

“You and me both. You should be ashamed of yourself, trying to garner sympathy and support from my oldest friend. Don't you have enough friends of your own?” she said, trying to maintain her posture of anger and trying to ignore the familiar warmth spreading throughout her whenever he looked at her like that.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Logan replied, a small grin playing at the corners of his mouth. “I hope you went easier on her than you did on me.”

“She didn't embarrass the shit out of me by making me a laughingstock.”

“You punched me out in a room full of people who used to respect me. I'm going to spend the next week walking around looking like Popeye. Let's call us even,” he retorted, all playfulness gone despite the joke. He was staring at her intently.

“Is that why you're doing all this, Logan? Is that what this is about? Getting even?” she asked, still unwilling to believe what he'd told her the night before. Guys like Logan didn't settle down. They played the field; they enjoyed counting notches on bedposts. Her mouth felt dry. She felt the tears of frustration beginning to build. Why did he insist on torturing her? Why couldn't he just thank her for making it easy for them both and move on, like she was doing?

“I told you. I'm not letting you go without a fight,” he said soberly. “But please remember, I currently only have one eye left to see out of.”

“This has nothing to do with me,” she choked out, her voice raspy with unexpressed sorrow. “It has to do with you getting the upper hand or the last word or whatever else it is you think you're owed.”

“You're wrong, Holly. It has everything to do with you. If I'd gotten what I wanted, I would have never met you. I would have continued with my perfectly happy life. I would have steered clear of the woman who would make me question every aspect of my very existence and shred my world piece by piece.”