(Glory St Clair 11) Real Vampires Say Read My Hips (8 page)

I saluted, refusing to say another word. He scowled, then stomped off toward yet another set of double doors. I guess I did have a sitting room. First I’d heard of it. A handmaiden rushed to me with a robe as soon as they were out of sight and the doors closed behind them.

“Thanks. Guess I don’t have time for one of those great soaking tub baths.” I did love my new bathroom. I rushed through cleaning up and putting myself into some kind of order. It took me longer to pick out an outfit than it did to slap on makeup. So many designers, so little time. I settled on a wonderful Pucci print sheath and Prada pumps that fit like a dream. I stopped in front of the mirror. I looked like a goddess. Too bad I didn’t feel like I had a snowball’s chance at winning points in the pissing contest to come.

“Come, sit. Look at these lovely pastries. You can eat whatever you wish and it won’t show on your new waistline, Gloriana. Isn’t that wonderful?” My mother handed me a piece of brioche slathered in butter when I got to the breakfast table in my sitting room.

I didn’t say anything, just savored both the info and the taste. Whoever cooked up here was a genius. But, God, I missed my fangs. I couldn’t even smell my parents’ blood from across the table, just my mother’s delicate perfume and the aroma of all that food. Mars was all man, no flirty perfume for him, but he was clean and reeked of leather and whatever his servants used to polish his silver belt buckle.

After hundreds of years of sizing up people by the pint, I didn’t know how to act. So I stuffed my face with food. Next came a raspberry tart. I tried to slow down and take dainty bites, but it was just too delicious. When I reached for another one, Mars had waited long enough.

“Can we get to the point?” He slammed down his coffee cup. An empty plate sat in front of him. Obviously he’d finished
his
breakfast and that was all he cared about.

“And that point is?” I blotted my lips with a snowy napkin. I hadn’t been so greedy that I’d forgotten to be careful not to spill on my dress.

“You know the point, Gloriana. You are staying here and we’re arranging a proper marriage for you. You’re certainly not marrying that fanged monster on Earth!” Mars slapped the table and the silverware rattled.

“Over my dead body.” I jumped to my feet.
Would
he strike me dead? No. But he could freeze me in place, hurt me. Let him. I wasn’t going to marry anyone but Jerry. I showed him that in my eyes.

“Stubborn wench.” He’d jumped to his feet too and I could see his frustration in his scowl and fisted hands. “It’s for your own benefit. There are many worthy warriors up here and a good alliance can protect you.”

“Sit down, both of you.” My mother calmly drank her tea. “This argument is going nowhere, I can see that. You are both too stubborn.”

I sat but leaned forward. “Who do you think has protected me since 1604? Jeremiah Campbell.” Tears filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks. “The man rescued me from poverty, loved me, kept me from danger and even paid for bodyguards when we took breaks from each other.” Hearing it laid out like that made me even more determined to fight them and fight for Jerry.

Mars settled back in his chair and the wood creaked under his weight. He was a big man and, even without his armor, strained the delicate furniture that someone had used to fill my sitting room. He was obviously thinking about what I’d said.

“That’s all very well, Gloriana. But here you are not a vampire. You are our daughter. A goddess in your own right and from the house of Zeus. There are many gods who would be honored to call you wife.” My mother set down her porcelain cup. “Mars and I would let you choose from among them, of course. A man who would be kind and lusty enough to keep you happy. Give you children!” She leaned forward and clasped my hand before I could stop her. “Can your vampire do that? Give you children?” She stared until I had to look away. “Of course not.” She released me and sat back then nodded at Mars. He took up the argument.

“Listen to your mother, Gloriana. This is important. Zeus may take the matter out of our hands, of course.” He toyed with a knife at his belt. He wore a leather outfit suitable for a soldier, not a toga, but from an ancient time. “Hebe, I remember this man Gloriana is so fond of. He threw himself in front of her once when she was in danger. He calls himself Blade.”

“Yes!” I grabbed my father’s arm. Could he be coming around to my way of thinking? “He goes by Jeremy Blade now. Because he’s handy with a knife. I’ve seen him hit a target dead center from yards away. You would enjoy getting to know him better, Dad.  I know you would. He’s a warrior like you are and has been in many battles. He’s the bravest man I know and a leader. Just like you are, Dad.” I dropped in the “D” word again, hoping to tease a little fatherly feeling from him. Whatever that meant up here.

“Not just like Mars, Gloriana. Not even close. He’s not a god.” Mother frowned, obviously not happy with me.

“One more reason that I love him.” I lifted my chin. “My dealings with gods haven’t exactly made me trust them, have they?” I didn’t care if I made these two mad. What else could they do to me? When would I learn not to think like that?

My mother went from irritated to furious in a blink of an eye. “Daughter, you need to learn to curb your tongue!” She lifted her hand as if to toss a lightning bolt and I braced myself.

Mars stood so abruptly the dishes rattled. “Hebe, leave her alone. Gloriana has reason to be in a temper. Look what she’s been through.”

“Please sit, Mars. I, more than anyone else, know what we’ve all been through. I’m sorry, Gloriana. This has been a trying time for you of course. But you know I’m only doing what is best for you. Bringing you to the place where you belong to claim your birthright.” Mother whipped out a hanky and worked up a tear. “Mars, I thought we agreed . . .” She sighed. “Never mind. Gloriana, we are grateful to this man, Blade. Perhaps a gift is in order.” Mother glanced at Mars. “One of your swords would please him no doubt. Especially if you gave it a magical power.”

“A true warrior or a man in love would be insulted by the offer.” Mars glared at her. “Like we are trying to buy him off.”

“He would. He’s a rich man, successful and from a highborn family. He has pride, Mother. To try to reward him now would not be wise.” I took a breath. I had to find a way out of this. “Send me back. You can come visit me whenever you want. I know you both have spouses here so I’ll be nothing but trouble for you. A reminder of an affair that they surely disapprove of. And you already know what Hera thinks about betraying your marriage vows.”

“My mother will get over that. She loved you on sight.” My mother gazed longingly at Mars. “She understood that I was lonely and never loved my husband. He was cruel to me when he realized our sons were never to grow to manhood. Hercules has quite a temper and took the boys’ affliction out on me.”

That finally got Mars’ attention. “You never told me… What did he do, Hebe? I swear, if he hurt you, I’ll make him sorry he was ever born.”

“He knew better than to lay a hand on me.” Mother reached out and touched Mars’ arm. He finally took her hand. “But he can be very cold and cruel. With words. Until you and I finally were together, I was sure that
I
was the reason he got no satisfaction in our marriage bed. He claimed I was frigid and could make any man’s,” she actually flushed, “cock shrink with just a look.”

“We both know how wrong he was about that, don’t we?” Mars pulled her hand to his mouth. “But you never should have hidden this child from me. Why did you?” He released her. “I’m sure Gloriana wants to know as well.”

“The way Grandmother is accepting me now makes me wonder why you didn’t just go to her at the time.” I saw Mother shrink in her chair as we both focused on her.

“I was scared, confused. Mother has mellowed over the centuries. I guess Father’s many indiscretions have convinced her there is no use wasting her time worrying about fidelity. But back then, she was rabid on the subject. I couldn’t count on her support. In fact, I was afraid she’d have made me,” Mother stared down at her lap, “rid myself of the pregnancy early on.” She looked up. “I couldn’t do that. Not a child made from our love, Mars.”

“But you could drop it into Achelous’s harem of horrors?” I jumped to my feet. “Do you have any idea how he treated his women? I am blessed that I don’t remember it but I have heard from the Sirens how it was and still is.” I took a breath. The breakfast I’d enjoyed threatened to choke me. “They had to kill whoever they lured with their song, give Achelous the gold they stole then service that pig you call a god as well. At least Circe is in charge there now. I’m sure the Sirens are celebrating. She is bound to be a gentler mistress.”

“Gloriana. Will you ever forgive me?” Tears flowed down my mother’s cheeks.

“She might but I’m not sure I will. Gloriana is right. The Sirens are nothing but whores and killers, Hebe. This sickens me.” Mars stared at me for a long moment, ignoring my mother’s sobs. “I just found you. I am certainly not going to send you back to Earth, Gloriana. Even if Zeus would tolerate that, which I’m sure he won’t. But I can do something to please you.” And he suddenly disappeared.

“Oh, gods, I cannot lose him.” My mother buried her face in a napkin, her shoulders shaking. “What have I done?”

“Finally gotten what you deserved?” I knew that was cruel but my father was right. Dooming a child to a life as a murderous whore was a horrible thing to do. “You seem to think it’s quite all right to deny me a life with the man I love so excuse me if I don’t break down over Mars being mad at you. At least you still live in the same place.” I sat at the table again, gesturing for a handmaiden as I’d seen my mother do. Sure enough one appeared and cleared the table. Thank God, because I couldn’t take the smell of food for much longer.

“I thought we were coming to an understanding, Gloriana.” Mother mopped her eyes with a napkin. “I can’t change the past.”

“No, that’s true. But surely there were other options back then. Adoption to a loving family. A childless woman who would have taken me in?” I leaned forward. I wasn’t letting her off easily. This was a big deal to me and to my father.

“I was confused. I knew another woman who had used Achelous in a similar situation and…” She wadded up that napkin. “Gloriana, you can’t know how terrified I was. All I knew was that Achelous promised to keep you safe. I had no reason to think you would ever reach puberty. Your brothers certainly never did. So I imagined you living in the Siren nursery, playing with the babies after you stopped growing, never gaining maturity. If you’d stayed in Olympus, word of a child who had never become an adult would have been whispered in certain quarters, eventually reaching the wrong ears. I couldn’t take that chance.”

“You miscalculated.” I couldn’t look at her. Had she honestly believed she’d done her best for me? By dooming me to an eternity as a nursemaid to children who’d end up as Sirens killing for Achelous? I shivered, my mind filled with so many horrific pictures that I swayed.

She was suddenly next to me. “Gloriana, please listen to me. I lied a few moments ago. Of course Hercules beat me. I wasn’t going to tell Mars that or he would have started a war over it. But my husband is one of the most violent men I know. I had to make sure he didn’t find out about the baby. He was off fighting one of his wars when I got pregnant. That’s how I was so sure you belonged to Mars.” Her hand shook when she touched my shoulder. “It will take Zeus’s own strength to keep Hercules from killing me when he hears about my affair with Mars and your existence now.”

“Surely you could have gone to your parents…” In spite of everything, I was beginning to feel sorry for her.

“I tell you I wasn’t thinking straight!” She began pacing, beautiful with her cheeks flushed. “In a way, I’m glad it’s all out now. My father will protect me and I can stop this pretense of being a faithful wife. No, there’s no divorce here, but I’m leaving Hercules’ palace now. We are finally done.” She managed a strained smile as she paused in front of me. “Gods, but I hate that son of a bitch.”

“Well, I’m glad this is working out for you.” Clearly dredging up the past was useless. But obviously she’d taken a big chance bringing me up here. Because she loved me. Nursing a grudge wouldn’t help me deal with my new reality here either.

“It will only work out for me, Gloriana, if you cooperate.” She lost her smile. “You did well with Zeus when you met him. And you’ve charmed Mars. It’s a start.”

“Yes, well, I’ve learned how to deal with whatever life hands me. I’ve had centuries of practice.” I’d also had centuries to learn that honey worked better than a surly attitude. This woman was my key to getting back down to Earth. Time to try a softer approach even though my heart wasn’t in it. “Can you tell me what you think Mars is up to? He wants to please me. Could he have gone to Zeus to persuade him to send me home?” I pushed back from the table, pretty sure that idea was a nonstarter. Hopelessness washed over me and not even the sight of my pretty shoes could make me feel better.

“Not that. You’re dreaming, darling. But I’m sure it will be something good. Mars has a generous heart. He’s a warrior, yes, but not like my husband. Mars is a fair man. He knows when to be gentle and when to be cruel. He would never raise his hand to me.” Her eyes welled again. “I’m positive I can get him to forgive me. He just needs time to come to terms with this surprise.”

“Time. Yes, he’s still reeling.” I wandered back into the bedroom and then that fabulous closet. “I intend to get my fangs back, Mother.”

My mother was right behind me and ignored that. “While your father is gone, we might as well introduce you to your two brothers. You must look your best for it. Have you tried to change clothes with a thought yet?” She wandered down one side of the closet, brushing the silk blouses with her fingertips. “Try. Pick out an outfit to wear to meet the boys. Picture it then snap your fingers and see what happens.”

She wanted to distract me. Okay, I’d play along. What else could I do? I settled on a pair of white skinny jeans that I never would have fit into on Earth and a soft blue cashmere sweater. Then I snapped my fingers. Looking down, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was not only wearing the new outfit, I looked like a model in it.