Hercules: A Matter of Trust (9 page)

B
y the time Emily made it out to the barn the next morning, she was shaking.

Literally.

She lifted her arm to grab Moondance's bridle off the wall, and her hand was trembling so much she dropped the bridle. The metal bit clanged on the cement floor, and Emily stopped and leaned her forehead against the cool wood of the wall.

She closed her eyes, trying to calm her pounding heart while trickles of sweat ran down her spine. Tried to clear her mind, but all she could think about was that moment when Moondance tripped on the jump and she went over her head. When she'd landed. The
pain. Not being able to move. Being packed off in the ambulance…

Then she thought of Kyle and his comments, and she stiffened.
I can do this.

Emily wiggled her shoulders, did a quick jog in place to get her energy going, then she grabbed Moondance's bridle off the floor. She swept the saddle under her arm, resting it against her hip, and marched out the door toward Moondance's stall, taking a quick detour to greet Sapphire.

His black head peeked out at her. “I wish I was riding you,” she whispered.

He snorted impatiently.

“I know. Soon, right?” Soon, ha. Aunt Debby would never let Emily ride him, and they both knew it. Sapphire was too precious and Emily was too…bad.

There. She'd admitted it. She was too bad.

Emily frowned, not liking the sound of the truth. She'd never liked being bad, and she still wasn't a fan. There was only one solution, and that was to get better.

Which meant she had to ride. As long as she focused on her goal of becoming the best rider Running Horse Ridge had ever produced, she could ignore the fear.

Hopefully.

She gave Sapphire a brisk pat, wanting to hurry off before she lost her determination. “I'll see you later. I have to go ride Moondance.”

She rushed down the aisle, pausing to take one last glance over her shoulder at Sapphire. He was watching her, his ears perked forward, his brown eyes so cheerful that a little bit of the panic eased from her chest.

She knew he was waiting for her. Waiting for the time she'd come to his stall with tack to ride him.

Emily clenched her fists with renewed determination. Sapphire had faith in her. She couldn't let him down.

 

Twenty minutes later Emily had warmed up Moondance and was ready to jump. The gray mare had been in a playful mood, and it was making Emily a little bit nervous. Moondance was spooked by something in the bushes next to the cross-rail jump, and the mare did a little shimmy and a side step each time Emily rode her past it. Was it a shadow or a bird or the horse's imagination?

Emily didn't know, but all she could think about was what would happen if Moondance shied right when she was taking off over the jump? Would they crash again? Would they—

“So, are you all warmed up?”

Emily glanced over as Aunt Debby slid between the fence rails and walked into the ring. She was wearing jeans and paddock boots, and her hair was pulled off her face in a red bandanna. “Um, yeah.”

“Great.” Aunt Debby walked over to Emily and checked Moondance's girth, then set her hand on Emily's knee and peered up at her. “How are you doing?”

Emily shifted under her aunt's intense scrutiny. “Um, fine.”

Aunt Debby narrowed her eyes for a moment, then gave Emily's leg a quick pat. “Okay, then. Go trot the cross rail.”

Emily nodded, shortened her reins, then kicked Moondance into a trot. They passed by the cross bar, and Moondance raised her head, studying the bushes, then suddenly leaped sideways, cracking Emily's calf against the edge of the jump. She immediately reined in and looked at her aunt. “There's something in the bushes that's bothering Moondance today.”

Aunt Debby shrugged. “You can handle it. Go ahead.”

Go ahead.
Emily took a deep breath, then nudged Moondance into a trot, taking the long way around the ring. Three days ago her aunt saying “you can handle
it” would have made her feel great, but now she wasn't so sure her aunt was right. After Aunt Debby had been so casual about leaving Emily at the hospital, Emily was no longer certain she could trust her aunt's judgment.

“Emily? You're not even looking at the jump.”

Emily turned her head and peeked at the cross rail, the red and white stripes so bright in the morning sun. She swallowed and plotted out her approach to it. All she had to do was turn and ride straight toward it….

She turned and headed for it. Moondance raised her head and her ears went forward, and Emily knew she was looking at the bushes and not the jump and she was going to shy right when she was taking off and—

Moondance's body tensed to take off, then Emily jerked Moondance's head to the side to avoid the jump, forcing Moondance to take a sharp turn to keep from crashing into the jump standard.

“Emily? What was that?”

“Didn't like my approach,” Emily mumbled. She took one hand off the reins and wiped it on her chaps. Her hands were so sweaty that she could barely hold the leather. Why hadn't she remembered her riding gloves this morning? She always rode with gloves. What if she lost her grip on the reins right when Moondance was taking off? “Do you have any gloves? I forgot mine.”

“Emily.” Aunt Debby was sounding impatient now. “You can manage without gloves for one lesson. Trot the jump.”

“Yeah, okay.” Emily took the long way around again, and ignored her aunt's request to cut across the ring.

She turned Moondance toward the jump and once again, Moondance's head went up and Emily knew the mare was going to shy. The jump was the same color as the one she'd fallen on at the show, and—

Emily hauled Moondance to a stop at the last second. The mare crashed into the jump and tripped on the rails, pulling down the cross rail as she stopped halfway over the jump, the rails rolling between her feet.

“Emily? Why did you stop?”

Emily threw her leg over Moondance and slid off, her legs shaking so much they almost gave out when her feet hit the ground. “I can't do it.” Her voice was wavering and tears stung her eyes. “My back still hurts. The jarring”—she swallowed at the piercing look on her aunt's face—“hurts.”

“Emily.”

Emily didn't look at her aunt. Instead, she loosened Moondance's girth and tucked the stirrups up and out of the way so they didn't catch on anything on the way back into the barn. “So I'll put her away for now. I
think I need another week or so. Plus my ankle still hurts. Yeah, that hurts, too. I need some more time. Wouldn't want to cause any permanent damage, you know?”

“Emily—”

“That's okay; it gives me more time to work with Hercules, right? And he needs help. So I'll see you later.” Emily grabbed the reins and headed out of the ring, her cheeks flaming with humiliation, her legs still shaking.

“Emily!”

Emily finally turned back to look at her aunt. “What?”

“What is going on with you?”

Emily shook her head. “I'm just so bummed out that my back hurts. I'm really upset because I wanted to prove that the show was a fluke. That I can do it.”

Aunt Debby studied her for a moment then nodded. “I understand. Go ahead. We'll try again later in the week.”

She'd bought it? Emily mumbled her appreciation, then turned and hustled Moondance back toward the barn, glad she'd escaped without her aunt realizing the truth: that she was terrified of jumping and would never, ever be able to do it again.

It was over for her.

B
y the time Emily reached the back paddock with Sapphire in tow, she had made a decision: It didn't matter if she never jumped again.

She was a dressage rider. Dressage riders didn't jump. Everything was fine.

It was better than fine because she was no longer trying to be something she wasn't.

But as she passed by the trailer with the leftover jumps again, she couldn't deny the pit in her stomach. An aching, empty feeling like someone had dumped a load of rocks in there and then added a truckload of cement.

She wanted it to go away. Just go away and leave
her alone. Why was it bothering her so much? Why couldn't she shake it and move on?

Very frustrating!

Then she saw Hercules catch sight of them and whirl and sprint to the other side of the paddock, and she forgot about her own problems. “Hercules, sweetie. Good morning!

“I know you want me to go away, Hercules.” Emily unhooked the gate and opened it wide, and Max lifted his head from the hay he'd been eating and whickered a greeting. “But I'm not going to leave you alone, because your life will be so much better if you have people in it, even if you're afraid of us right now, and even if you've convinced yourself you don't need people.”

Hercules ran over to Max and snuggled against him while Sapphire studied the pair with great interest. “Okay, let's go get Max, Sapphire.”

Emily walked up to Max, keeping Sapphire between herself and Hercules, and the little pony didn't bolt. He was watching her carefully, but he didn't take off. “See? I'm not so scary, am I? Whatever bad thing happened before won't happen again, I promise. It's all good from here on out.” Emily hooked the lead shank to Max's halter, and then began to lead Sapphire and Max toward the gate. “Come along, Hercules. It'll be fun.”

But he stood in the paddock and didn't follow them, even when they all walked out and began to walk down the path. He looked so scared and lonely standing there by himself, she almost went back and shut Max in the paddock with him.

She stopped and faced Hercules. “Come
on
, Hercules. You can't spend your life hiding back here, not when there's so much good stuff at the barn. Just follow Max. You can trust him, right?”

Hercules softly blew air out of his nose, and he didn't take a step toward them.

“Okay, fine, but you're going to miss a great party.” She forced herself to turn away, then whispered to Max. “Tell him to come with us.”

Max looked back at the ring and gave a loud whinny.

Hercules lifted his head, his ears forward.

Then Sapphire whickered, too, both horses gazing back at the pony.

Emily held her breath as Hercules took a small step toward them.

Then another.

And another.

And then Hercules was galloping after them, his little feet pounding in the dirt as he sprinted through
the open gate and charged up toward them. He skidded to a stop next to Max, his ribs heaving and his nostrils flared. “Well, it's about time. Come on, we're going on a field trip.”

She kept up a steady stream of chatter as she led the trio down toward the barn, Hercules moving closer and closer to Max's side the closer they got to the barn and all the activity.

And all the people.

She saw Kyle hauling a wheelbarrow into the main barn and quickly changed direction, knowing that Hercules would never tolerate Kyle's in-your-face manner. But Max's stall was in the main aisle where all the action was….

She looked at Sapphire. “Can we borrow your stall?”

Sapphire immediately swung to the right and led the way toward the side entrance, the one nearest his stall. She led her trio into the side door, Hercules wedged so tightly against Max that their sides were bumping as they tried to walk.

But when she opened Sapphire's stall door and sent Max inside, there was a springiness to the old guy's step that hadn't been there before. His gray ears were up, his tail was swishing, and even his back seemed less swayed.

Hercules hurried after him, and Emily shut the door behind them.

She and Sapphire leaned over the door, watching as the two horses made themselves comfortable. To her surprise, Hercules seemed perfectly at ease in the large stall and didn't appear to feel trapped.

For now.

She had a feeling it would change the minute someone tried to enter his stall.

“Em?”

She looked up to see her aunt coming down the aisle. “Hercules is in here. He was perfectly happy to follow Max inside.”

“Good work.” Her aunt patted Sapphire as she peered inside the stall. Hercules startled at the sound of the new voice, then he scurried around to the other side of Max, hiding.

Aunt Debby was quiet for a moment, studying Hercules, then she carefully eased the stall door open and slid inside. “Keep talking to him, Emily, since he knows your voice.”

Emily leaned on the door again, tugging Sapphire over so his head was leaning into the stall as well. “Hey, Hercules, this is my aunt Debby. She takes really good care of…her horses.”

Aunt Debby glanced over at her, no doubt catching the hesitation in Emily's voice, so Emily rushed onward. “I mean, she's nice to horses, so you can trust her.” Again, she couldn't quite keep the bitterness out of her tone, and she knew her aunt caught it by the long look she gave her.

But then her aunt walked around Max, and Hercules skittered around Max's rear end, reappearing on the side near Emily and away from Aunt Debby. Aunt Debby walked around Max again, crooning softly to Hercules, using a gentle tone Emily had never heard her aunt use.

Not that Hercules was fooled.

He kept just out of Aunt Debby's reach no matter how she tried to approach him, and he was sweating and trembling, his coat caked with wetness, his flanks shaking so badly, Emily could see it from the door.

After about fifteen minutes, Aunt Debby looked at Emily. “Get me a lead shank.”

Emily grabbed one off Sapphire's door. “Don't you think it'll scare Hercules if you tie him up?”

Aunt Debby grimaced. “I'm afraid so, but I have to give him a quick once over to make sure he's all right. Hopefully, it won't set him back too far.”

This time, when Hercules tried to dodge her,
Aunt Debby slid the lead shank around his neck and anchored him. Hercules stopped instantly, not fighting the restraints, as if he knew he was caught.

But his eyes were rolled back, his body was shaking, and he looked like he was going to collapse. “Oh, Hercules!” Emily opened the door to go in, and stopped when Aunt Debby held up her hand.

“More people will make Hercules worse.” Aunt Debby's voice was soft, so quiet Emily barely heard it. “Just talk to him from there.”

Max nickered softly and moved closer to Hercules, and Sapphire stretched his head over the gate toward Hercules.

But still the little pony continued to shake, and the moment Aunt Debby touched his fetlock, he jerked back in terror, his body slamming into Max's side. “It's okay, Hercules,” Aunt Debby crooned as she followed him, quickly running her hands over his legs. She kept talking to him as she picked up each foot, inspecting it.

Emily couldn't believe how gentle her aunt was being. She was like…like a mom. Like a mom should be. So warm and loving and kind. It made her throat tighten to see her aunt comforting Hercules, giving him only love as she efficiently checked him out, moving quickly to spare him prolonged torture, but still so
gentle and reassuring in her movements.

Emily leaned forward, falling under her aunt's spell, letting the wonderful sensations her aunt was creating coat her in warmth. She'd never seen anyone be as comforting as her aunt was being; never had anyone used that tone with her, even on her worst days. “Why didn't you treat me like that when I fell off Moondance?”

Her aunt looked up from where she was massaging the left rear ankle of Hercules. “What are you talking about?”

“You're so…” Emily felt her cheeks begin to heat up, and she stopped. What was she going to do? Beg her aunt to treat her like a horse? Yikes. “How is Hercules?”

Aunt Debby studied her for another moment, and Emily thought that maybe her aunt was going to force Emily to continue with what she was going to say. But instead Aunt Debby patted Hercules's rump and stood up. “He's not too bad. He could use some work on his feet, and his ankle is a little swollen, but nothing we have to treat right now.” Her aunt eased her way out of the stall, her movements subtle and slow so as not to panic the pony. “At this point, I think the best thing for him is time.”

Emily opened the door as Aunt Debby stepped out.
“So, are you going to take over his care from me?”

Aunt Debby cocked her head as she closed the door. “I need to think about the best approach. I'll let you know.”

“Yeah, sure.” Emily knew she wouldn't be trusted with him, and that totally bugged her. She already loved him and knew he needed someone who truly cared.

Then again, her aunt had been incredibly nice to him, so maybe Emily
wasn't
the best one. Maybe Aunt Debby was right about all of it!—riding Sapphire, training T.J., taking care of Hercules….

Emily sighed. She was so confused. She didn't know what she was capable of, what she wasn't, what to do next….

“Will you take Hercules and Max back to the paddock?” Aunt Debby asked, giving Emily a thoughtful look, as if she were reading Emily's mind.

“Yeah, sure.” Emily opened the door and walked inside, hooking Max back up as Hercules scrambled around to the other side. But when she turned to walk back, she saw her aunt looking at her strangely. “What?”

“You're moving well.”

“What do you mean?”

“You aren't acting like your back hurts.”

“Oh.
Oh
.” Emily touched her back, which she'd actually forgotten about. “It, um, only hurts when I jump.”

“Huh.” Aunt Debby gave her another long look, then turned and walked off.

And Emily didn't like the fact at all that she couldn't read Aunt Debby's expression. Aunt Debby had an agenda, Emily was sure, and Emily had a feeling she wasn't going to like it.