Authors: K. Sterling
Lane sat up and his arms closed around Aiden, pulling him against his chest. Aiden let his head fall back on Lane’s shoulder and willed the tension to leave his body, wishing he could keep Burgess out of this room, out of this bed. Lane’s cheek pressed against Aiden’s, smooth and warm as he whispered Aiden’s name.
“All we can do is wait and make the best of it.” He soothed as his hands caressed Aiden’s arms. “It’s not like
Law & Order
, when you’re trying to catch a criminal. It takes more than a day or two. This is like a stake-out and those are usually long and tedious.” Lane murmured as his lips slid back and forth over Aiden’s skin. “At least we’re comfortable and clothing is optional.” He teased.
Aiden nodded and reminded himself that he was safe and that any day with Lane was precious.
Enjoy this while it lasts. He’s going to have to go back to his life soon. He can’t hide here with you forever,
a cruel voice warned. Aiden felt a cold tightness in his chest and his eyes watered. No, he didn’t want this to be over. He just didn’t know how to make Lane want it to be forever too.
Chapter 21
Lane wasn’t completely immune to the tension and frustration. The next day he felt restless and the muscles in his shoulders and neck were tight and pinched. He almost asked Aiden for a quick massage but decided against it. Lane didn’t want Aiden jumping on that as an indicator that he was stressed or worried. It didn’t help that the day stayed overcast and they never saw the sun. Lane paced in front of the windows, cold and irritable until Aiden commented on it.
Lane did his best to act normal and tried to make the evening feel more relaxed. After Aiden randomly announced “I like tacos.” the day before, Lane called Chief and asked if he could send over the necessary ingredients. Lane was looking forward to something that wasn’t a grilled cheese sandwich or pancakes. During dinner, Lane laughed and shook his head as he watched Aiden eat four taco shells with nothing in them but a few spoons of taco meat in each and a small pile of plain lettuce on the side. After, Lane turned the fireplace on and tried to enjoy a beer and cuddled with Aiden as he ate almost half a gallon of vanilla ice cream straight from the container.
“You’re sure you wouldn’t like a bowl?” Lane asked for the third time. Aiden shook his head, oblivious to Lane’s amusement. Aiden offered a spoonful and Lane shook his head as he held up his beer. “I’m good.” He mumbled. Despite the fire, he still felt chilled. Aiden shrugged and shoved the spoon into his mouth.
“We should go to upstairs.” Aiden said as he dug out a big scoop and replaced the lid. Lane nodded absently as he stared at the fire.
“Sounds good.” Lane murmured as Aiden jumped up and went to the kitchen. He put the ice cream in the freezer and went back to the sofa. Aiden leaned over the back and kissed Lane’s neck before he brushed Lane’s ear with his lips.
“I think you need a long, hot shower.” He whispered and Lane reached over his shoulder and slid his hand into Aiden’s hair as he nodded.
“Perfect. Go ahead and go up, I’m going to double check everything down here.” Lane said as he raised his beer and took a long sip. He got up and smiled as he watched Aiden take the stairs two at a time. Lane drained his beer and tossed the bottle in the recycling bin. He started at the back door and carefully made his way around the house checking every window and door. Lane set the security alarm and went to the stairs. Aiden called impatiently from the bathroom but Lane paused at the bottom step, slowly scanning for anything that would explain the ruffling of the hair at the back of his neck and the weak flutter in his stomach.
Lane’s eyes snapped open and he held his breath as he let his senses stretch. Wind slammed into the glass behind the bed but that wasn’t what woke him up. There was a rustle in the hall that Lane wasn’t even sure he heard, it was so faint. He exhaled gently, forcing the air out, long and silent, his body deflating completely. Goosebumps fizzed down his neck and chest as a sound so light, it might have been the echo of his own breath blew into the room. Lane resisted the urge to swallow past the tightening of his throat, not wanting the clicking sounds in his ears. The hairs on his arm stood and he slowly pushed his hand under his pillow and wrapped it around the handle of his Glock. His thumb flicked the safety and he held still as he waited, praying silently that it was the residue of a dream that had his stomach clenched tight like a fist. Dread churned in Lane’s chest and throat as he felt what he couldn’t see or hear.
A shape filled the bedroom door and Lane’s body went cold. He forced his chest to rise slowly as he gave his eyes time to locate center mass as the body became more defined. Lane saw the right hand raise and the dark gleam of a pistol caught the moonlight. Lane’s hand swung out in a smooth, level arc and the body jumped as Lane squeezed the trigger three times, filling the pitch black of the room with three flares of colored light and deafening cracks of thunder. Lane’s left arm covered Aiden, pinning him to the mattress as he sat up, his gun still trained on the figure pressed against the door. The pistol was still in his hand. Lane squeezed the trigger once, waited, then squeezed it again. The pistol fell from the man’s hand as he slid down the door. Aiden had his hands pressed to his ears and his eyes were tightly shut. Lane shook him with his left hand and Aiden dropped his hands and stared up at Lane in shock.
“It’s all right.” Lane kept his voice firm and low. “Call 911 and tell them an intruder has been shot. Tell them an officer was involved.” Lane said as he slid from the bed, keeping his gun aimed at the body. He moved across the floor slowly and kicked the gun away before he crouched in front of the body and reached for his throat. Lane pressed his fingers to the throat, just beneath the jaw and held his breath again as he waited to feel a pulse. “Tell them he’s dead.” Lane drew in a deep breath as he stood up and flicked the light switch. He stared down at the body as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the light. When he looked over at Aiden he was blinking rapidly and the phone was slipping from his ear.
“That’s Jonathan Burgess.” He whispered.
Lane nodded as he stepped back and sat at the foot of the bed. His eyes began cataloguing details as he examined Burgess. He’d seen a picture but he hadn’t been able to make out any of his features in the dark. Aside from a beard and glasses, he looked just like the picture. Dead, Jonathan Burgess looked like a scientist or a librarian. He looked calm and kind. Lane’s throat burned and his stomach rolled as his hands began to shake. He breathed slowly and the smell of carbon, sulphur, lead and vaporized bullet lubricant filled his nose. His mind went to hours of range training and it calmed him. Lane swallowed, easing the sting in his throat.
“We have about ten minutes before they get here. Take the phone and grab some pants. Go downstairs and try not to touch anything.” Lane said as he stood. He saw Aiden nod as he crawled across the bed toward Lane’s dresser. He was still on the phone with the dispatcher.
“She says there are unit's en route and that we need to leave the room. I have to open the front door.” Aiden said as he listened. He was pulling on a pair of flannel pants and nodding.
Lane felt the gun in his hand and looked down at it. He stared at it for several seconds before he slid the safety and set it on the bed.
“Here.” Aiden pressed a pair of pants against Lane’s chest. Lane forced his eyes away from Burgess and looked at Aiden. His eyes were rapidly flicking over Lane’s face, assessing. “Are you all right?” He asked softly. Lane took a deep breath and nodded.
“I’m fine. I’ve never killed anyone before.” He said shakily. Aiden frowned as he slid his hand around Lane’s neck.
“I’m sorry you had to do that because of me.” Aiden whispered. Lane shook his head as he pressed a kiss to Aiden’s lips and inhaled deep, letting Aiden’s scent fill and ground him.
“Stop. He did this. I’ll be fine once the shock wears off.” Lane promised. “Go downstairs and open the door. Don’t touch anything unless you have to.” He repeated as he bent to pull on the pajama pants. Aiden carefully slid past Burgess’ body and Lane went to the bedside table and grabbed his phone and badge. He turned on his phone, found Chief and hit Send and waited through four rings before Chief picked up. Lane heard a groggy mumble. “Chief. It’s Lane.” He gave Chief a moment to wake up. “Jonathan Burgess broke into my house while we were sleeping and I shot him. He was armed. I killed him.” Lane said calmly. He heard a long exhale.
“Are you and Aiden all right?” Chief’s voice was tight with worry.
“We’re fine. I fired before he did.” Lane assured him. He heard a more relaxed sigh.
“I’ll be right there. Did you call it in?” Chief asked and Lane could hear that he was getting dressed.
“Yeah. Aiden called it in. They should be here in a few minutes.” Lane carefully stepped over the body and went down the stairs. Aiden was sitting on the bottom step and rocking nervously. “Can I let you go?” Lane asked.
“Ok. I’m on my way. You don't have to talk to anyone if you don’t want to. You can wait for me or an attorney.” Chief said. Lane shook his head.
“I’m not worried. I’ll see you soon.” He said before he hung up and sat on the step next to Aiden. “Hey. Try to calm down.” Lane said as he put his arm around Aiden. He saw Aiden nod faintly.
“Are you going to get in trouble?” Aiden asked as he stared out the door. The sound of sirens in the distance drifted in and Aiden tensed. Lane pulled him tight against him and kissed his hair.
“No. I have the right to defend myself. They’ll see that it was clean. It’s just going to be a circus here for a few hours.” Lane explained as he watched two unit's race down his driveway. “Get up.” Lane commanded gently as he stood and clipped his badge to the waist of his pants. “Keep your hands up where they can see them and just stay still until they say you can move. They're going to make sure the scene is secure and it's safe.” He kept his voice calm and his posture relaxed as he watched the officers exit their vehicles and carefully approach the house.
“As soon as I disarmed the victim I checked his pulse to see if he was still alive and needed medical attention. I determined that he was deceased and told Dr. Sharp to inform the dispatcher. After that, I set my firearm on the bed, dressed, grabbed my phone and badge and left the room.” Lane repeated for about the twentieth time. Officer Campbell nodded as he read through Lane’s statement again. He gave Lane a reassuring grin as he patted his shoulder.
“Sorry, you know how this goes. I just want to make sure we cover all of our bases so this won’t be more of a headache for you than it has to be.” Campbell said as he flipped through his notes. Lane nodded.
“It’s fine. Do you want to go through it again?” He asked. Campbell shook his head.
“I think we’re good now. Barker said the scene looks good and everything else checks out. We’re going to have to take Sharp’s phone for a while.” Campbell said as he got up. Lane grimaced as he looked over at Aiden. He was in the kitchen with Chief drinking a glass of juice. Lane prayed that that wasn’t going to be as traumatic as he expected. He’d have a word with Chief to see if he could expedite that. He patted Campbell on the back.
“Thanks for your help. If there’s anything else, let me know.” Lane said before he went to join Chief and Aiden.
“Coffee?” Chief asked. Lane nodded as he leaned against the counter. Chief poured him a mug and Lane nodded in thanks before he took a long drink. The adrenaline had worn off right after Chief arrived and Lane felt like he’d been awake for days. Chief patted his back. “I talked to the boss and she insists the two of you stay with us until everything is put back in order here.” He said. Everyone in the department understood “the boss” was Chief’s wife, Sandra. She was a tiny, wild woman and Lane adored her. But he didn’t really want to be around other people right now, or under someone else’s roof. He wanted to be alone with Aiden. Lane wanted to figure out where they stood now that Aiden was safe. And he needed to sleep. Lane met Aiden’s gaze and tried to read it.
“Would you be more comfortable there?” Lane kept his expression neutral, he wanted Aiden to make the choice. Aiden’s lips pulled tight before he shook his head. He smiled weakly at Chief.
“I’d like to stay here, if that’s possible. I’m a bit shaken up and I’d prefer to stay someplace familiar. And I’m hoping that at some point soon, this place will be peaceful again.” Aiden said and looked over Lane’s shoulder as the last of the investigators came down the stairs. Lane didn’t bother to hide his relief. He pulled Chief into a tight hug.
“Thank you.” Lane said as he patted Chief on the back as he let go. “But I think we should stay here. We have a lot to talk about and I’m too tired to pack my shit and go anywhere. We’ve got the other room and I’ll have people out here to take care of everything later. It’ll be like it never happened by tomorrow night.” Lane assured Chief as he raised the mug to his lips. Instead of making him alert, the coffee was warm and comforting, making him even more drowsy. Chief didn’t look convinced but he shrugged as he set his mug in the sink.
“Fine. If you need anything, you let me know. You call and check in when you get up in the morning.” Chief said as he pointed at Lane. He gave him a loaded stare before he turned to Aiden. “You give some thought to what I said and call if you need anything.” Chief gave Aiden a quick hug before he ruffled Lane’s hair on his way out of the kitchen. “I’m a phone call away.” He repeated before he looked around the house. “Wrap it up! I want everyone out of here in ten minutes.” Chief bellowed as he shoved his hands in his pockets and went through the front door.
Lane shut the door after the last crime scene tech. He rubbed his hand over his eyes as he went to the sofa and dropped onto it next to Aiden. He sighed as he took Aiden’s hand and twined their fingers together. Lane couldn’t remember the last time he felt as tired but he didn't want to leave things unresolved between him and Aiden. He didn't want to go to sleep until he knew what Aiden was thinking. Lane just wasn’t sure his sluggish brain would get him through it. He took a deep breath as he turned to Aiden.
“You’re safe, Aiden. You can do whatever you want now.” Lane felt a nervous flutter and his hands became slick. His heart moved up into his ears as he watched Aiden process his words. And his new reality. His eyes became huge as they locked onto Lane’s.
“I don’t know what I want to do.” He whispered. “What do you want me to do?” Aiden asked as he stared at their hands. Lane squeezed Aiden’s hands and took a deep breath.
Just say it all. Whatever you hold onto will be worthless later,
Lane decided.
“I don’t want you to go, I want more time. I love you. I don’t know how we’ll make it work but I want to try. I don’t know what that means for you but I’m hoping you feel the same.” Lane’s voice broke as Aiden raised his head and looked at him. Lane's heart slowed as he waited for something to show in Aiden’s eyes. They started to water and his lips trembled.
“I don’t know if I feel the same.” It was a hoarse whisper and Lane’s stomach clenched painfully. Aiden took Lane’s hand and pressed it flat against the center of his chest. “Do you burn here? Does it sometimes feel like whatever’s here is too big and it’s going to crush everything inside of you?” He asked urgently as his eyes searched Lane’s. “I think it’s you. I think you’re there, Lane. I kept wishing I could find some way to replace all the broken parts inside of me with you and I think I did.” A nervous laugh burst from his lips and Lane saw a tear slide down Aiden’s cheek and his nose started to run. Lane’s throat clogged with about a dozen different emotions and he swallowed hard as he cradled Aiden’s cheek. Aiden kissed his palm. “Is that what love feels like?” He asked. Lane nodded quickly and Aiden gasped. “It’s terrifying!” He complained and Lane laughed as he pulled Aiden into his arms.