Just Breathe Again (6 page)

  When they walked in, the hospital was filled with sick or injured people. Children ran around unattended and there were no chairs to sit. She had not been to a hospital since Vince passed away, and hated to be there. The sights, sounds, and smells reminded her of the last terrible time she stood in one and unless she was at deaths door, she wanted to stay away. Once inside, she had to set Lydia down. No one offered her a chair or help and she was struggling to keep her standing.

  “I can try to walk, Mom,” whispered Lydia.

  “I’ve got you, baby.” Finding some type of strength deep within herself, she picked up her daughter again. With no medical insurance, or money to pay for the bill when it came due, Jeannie had no idea if they would even help her. At that moment, none of that mattered.

  A young, twenty-something girl at registration was typing loudly on her keyboard. “May I help you?” She didn’t look up from her computer as she greeted them at the window.

  “Yes, my daughter has had a severe headache for a while. She’s dizzy, weak, and throwing up,” said Jeannie. Her daughter held on to her with her eyes closed as Jeannie sat her in a chair in front of the registration.

  “Your name please, and insurance card,” said Tiffany, as her name tag stated.

  “Her name is Lydia Franklin and I don’t have insurance,” said Jeannie.

  The girl rolled her eyes and began tapping on the computer. After getting Jeannie’s information, Jeannie signed a paper stating she was responsible for the bill, and the girl spoke again.

  “Bring her on back and we will get vitals,” she said.

  “I need to move my car out front. I don’t think she can walk. Can you bring her a wheelchair?” asked Jeannie.

  “Hold on,” said Tiffany, signaling an aide to bring a wheel chair over to Lydia.

  Jeannie got Lydia in the wheelchair with much effort. Her arms ached from carrying her into the hospital and trying to hold her up. They wheeled Lydia to the back and took her temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure while Jeannie ran and parked the car.

  Once she hurried back in and caught her breath, Jeannie told the attendant as much as she could. She didn’t know much because Lydia kept her pain a secret from Jeannie. Lydia had headaches for the last six months that were becoming worse. Jeannie did not know she was throwing up, dizzy, missing track practice, and tired for so long.

   After a nurse took all her vitals, they wheeled her to a room. Jeannie helped Lydia change into a gown and lay down on the bed. They brought her a heated blanket and her mom stood by her head and stroked her hair. 

  The time on the clock seemed to stop and the place became busier as they waited. Jeannie called her other job and told them she wouldn’t be there that night. She spoke to Ruth, her favorite coworker.

  “Is everything okay, Jean?” she asked, yelling into the phone since the bar sounded very loud.

  “It’s Lydia. We are at the ER and having her checked out. I’m sure it’s nothing other than the flu or something simple. I will see you tomorrow night,” said Jeannie. 

 She yelled back over the noise of the crowded restaurant.  “No problem, honey, I’ll cover your shift. I can use the money.”

  Ruth had become her good friend. Jeannie bonded with her right away, even though she was ten years younger. She had four kids and a husband who was unable to work. The income they had was her job as a waitress, and her husband’s disability check he received for being in the war in Iraq. They talked for a couple of minutes and Jeannie said she would tell her more when she saw her.

  By the time the doctor came back to see them, Lydia was asleep again and Jeannie paced the floor.

  “Mrs. Franklin, I’m Doctor Thompson. What’s wrong with your daughter?” he asked. He looked too young to be working on her daughter. His voice was cold, and not at all reassuring. Jeannie told him the history of the migraines, and what Lydia told her. He wrote what she said down and asked her questions she couldn’t answer. Jeannie didn’t know if she saw double, slurred her speech, or lost her balance. She just didn’t know.

  “I’m going to order tests. How long has she been this bad?” he asked, writing on a chart and not looking up at her.

  “Well, today was the worst. She told me this pain in her head has been going on for six months. She just told me, the throwing up started last month, and the dizziness as well. She had lost weight too. She has been hiding her weight loss from me. I hadn’t noticed till I picked her up to get in the hospital. She was too weak to walk.”

  The doctor walked over to Lydia and tried to wake her up from a deep sleep. 

  “Lydia. Lydia can you wake up?” he asked, shaking her on the shoulder.

   Her eyes fluttered open which took a great effort.  

  “Lydia, its Dr. Thompson. I’m here to help you. On a scale of one to ten, can you tell me what the pain in your head is?” he asked.

   “Twenty,” she whispered and fell back to sleep. Dr. Thompson turned back to Jeannie.

    “I’m going to give her fluids. She may be dehydrated, which could be causing her headaches. Along with that, I will order pain medicine and a CT scan to rule out anything serious. We want to rule out a bleed or mass, which is standard. You said she had a history of migraines?

  “Yes, they started when her dad passed away. We thought she got over them, but obviously they came back.”

  “The blood work should tell us a lot. I want to give her something for her headache so she can rest. Her blood pressure is elevated and I think it’s from being in pain,” he said, this time looking at Lydia. Jeannie tried to take in everything he said in her tired, over-thinking mind. She just wanted them to fix her and get her back home.

  Jeannie continued to hold her daughters hand. “Thank you, Doctor. Yes, she had suffered from migraines after my husband passed away. They stopped a year ago.”

  “Did they give her a CT scan then?”

  Thinking back, Jeannie tried to remember.

  “No, they didn’t feel it was necessary at the time.” Jeannie felt guilt build up insider her. She remembered being asked if she wanted them to give her daughter one, though they said it wasn’t necessary, and Jeannie declined because of the cost.

  “I will send the nurse in and we will get her down for a CT scan and go from there. Do you have any questions?” he asked. A commotion erupted in the hallway after several accident victims were brought in. The doctor drew the curtain around to keep their conversation more private. 

 “No, not now,” said Jeannie. Questions? What should she ask? Her mind was a muddled mess. 

  He left out the curtain and promised it wouldn’t take too long. Sure, she heard those words too many times being in the hospital. Everything took too long. A nurse came in and quickly put an IV in Lydia’s arm. Her arms looked so skinny, Jeannie wondered how they would find a vein.

  As Jeannie gazed at her daughter, she stroked her arm, careful of the IV. Lydia always hated shots of any kind and if she would have been awake, she would have put up a fight with this IV. Jeannie couldn’t help but notice how young she looked. Her face at that moment, looked the same when she was six years old. She would walk around with a tiara, a tutu, and her tennis shoes every day. How quickly the time had passed. One of the most magical days in Jeannie’s life, was the day she gave birth to her precious daughter. She had suffered two miscarriages and gave up the idea of having children. Low and behold, she became pregnant again after she and Vince decided more children wasn’t meant to be. This time, Jeannie accepted the fact she would more than likely lose that baby too.  She didn’t tell anyone, not even Vince right away. It wasn’t until she made it to four months, when she knew they were going to have a baby. That was the farthest she had ever carried without miscarrying.

  Delivering her at nearly ten pounds, Lydia Rose Franklin came into the world to the happiest two people on the planet. Born two years to the day she lost her first baby, Jeannie felt Lydia was a blessing, an angel sent to them. Jeannie remembers her daughter lying next to her after she delivered, staring up at her with these huge brown eyes and it was love at first sight. There became a solid bond between mother and daughter, even during the tough teen years. Lydia looked like her father with his dark eyes and dark hair, and had her mom’s stubborn personality. Vince was beside himself with joy, and took Lydia with him everywhere. Four years later, after the birth of Michael, Jeannie and Vince were happy and complete with two children. Though they were young when they started their family, two was enough. She had a life many envied, and the most beautiful family anyone could ask for. She was more than blessed until it all fell apart.

  Seeing her daughter sleeping with her hair spilling over her face, reminded her how young and innocent she still was. She turned sixteen last month, and Jeannie was unable to give her the birthday party they had planned since she was ten years old. Vince had always promised he would buy a car for her and they would go out driving the day she turned sixteen. The only thing they did, was go out to dinner with coupons at the local restaurant. Not much of a Sweet Sixteen for her daughter that was her world. Lydia didn’t care or complain. She accepted their plight, and even thanked Jeannie for the dinner and the small gift card to her favorite clothing store. Lydia didn’t complain about anything. She accepted the fact that their life of privilege and happiness was now poverty and sadness. That didn’t turn her into a different child like a change would have done with most girls her age. She took the blow of moving out of her beautiful home, and said God had a plan for them. When Jeannie suffered from depression, and barely made it out of bed, Lydia was there to help her. Lydia pulled her out of the depths of despair and reminded her a better life was coming. Her dear, sweet Lydia was more concerned for her mother than anything else at the time. When her friends would be spending the weekends at football games or sleepovers, Lydia spent the time with her mom. Lydia was her world.

  Jeannie stepped out of the room and bought a cup of coffee from the vending machine when they took her daughter down for a CT scan. They wouldn’t let her go with them, even though she begged. They would be right back they told her. She took the time to call and check on Michael.

  “Hey, how’s my girl doing?” Steven asked. 

  “We don’t know anything yet. They took her down for a CT scan, but I’m sure they’ll confirm its migraines. How’s Michael?” asked Jeannie.

 “He’s fine. We did his homework, and he’s watching television. What time is he to be in bed?” asked Steven.

  “By nine, and no later. I’m sure I will be home before then. Thank you so much, Steven. If we are here too much longer, I’ll call someone to come and get Michael. I’m sure you have school work to do,” said Jeannie.

  “Its fine, Jeannie. I’m fitting in here. A guy with a wife beater asked if I wanted a beer when I took out the garbage. Not my type, though he’s cute in a white, trashy way,” he said. She couldn’t help but laugh a little. Steven lightened up any situation. He must have met Ralph, the guy living in the trailer next to hers. What a character. He and his wife didn’t work, fought all day long, and drank until they passed out. They didn’t cause a ruckus or bother anyone, and he would give you the wife beater off his back if you needed it.

 “I’ll be home as soon as I can. I want you to know how much I appreciate this, Steven.” Jeannie started to cry again.

  “Stop it now, Jeannie. Take care of our girl and give her a kiss from me.”

  Jeannie rushed back to the room to find Lydia asleep. As she sat and waited for results, she prayed to whoever would listen to her for a miracle, one more time. She tried to keep her mind off everything by reading signs and checking the messages on her phone.

  The doctor came in quicker than she expected. Jeannie thought she was in for a long night of waiting and worrying. She noticed by his voice, something was wrong, and Jeannie’s stomach rose to her throat.

  “Mrs. Franklin, we are seeing something on the CT scan that has us concerned. We saw a mass in the left side of Lydia’s brain. We don’t know for sure what type or what it is. This mass concerns us enough, we are going to admit her and get more tests done. I want to send her to Children’s for a pediatric neurosurgeon to take a look at her CT scan,” said Dr. Thompson.

  Everything faded to black. 

Chapter 4

J
eannie woke up to a nurse in her face saying her name.

  “Mrs. Franklin? Mrs. Franklin, can you hear me?” Jeannie found herself in someone’s arms and half sitting on a chair. The room was coming back into focus.

  Jeanie came back around, as her eyes fluttered open. She forgot where she was until she smelled the pungent aroma of alcohol, and remembered what happened. The shock of what he told her, and the fact she had not eaten, led to her passing out in Lydia’s room. The doctor grabbed her before she hit her head on the floor. She sat up fully and remembered what the doctor said to her. There was a mass on the left side of her daughter’s brain. A mass was not good, and even in her limited medical knowledge, Jeannie realized that was bad news.

  If it wasn’t for the fact she was Lydia’s mother, she would have run out of the hospital. She wanted to run and not face what lay before her. Why? Why was Vince not there with her? Why could he not be alive to stand next to her and hold her hand as she tried to comprehend the fact her sixteen year old daughter may be very ill. How could God be so cruel?

  The nurse handed Jeannie a bottle of water and she accepted the cold drink with a shaky hand. The doctor came back in with a forced smile and hesitantly began to speak.