Last Heartbeat (25 page)

We start talking about what had happened and how long she was a sleep. She keeps telling me that she’s sorry, she was going to tell me, and she made a mess of things and how she would understand if I want to leave her because she is broken. I even wipe her tears away.

Not long after she wakes, Kirstin comes in and they talk. Alexia asks her what all did she told me and Kristen tells her. I wonder what Alexia is now keeping from me, but I decide that it doesn’t matter to me. I decide to interrupt them because I have to tell Alexia everything I was feeling. How much I loved her and how I donn’t care that she has had a heart transplant. That it doesn’t matter if we have kids or not because there are other ways to have kids if we decided later we did. She keeps arguing that I don’t know what I am getting myself into, but I let her know that I do. I let everything out of my heart to her and forget we were not alone until I hear someone behind us.

It is her parents and Kristen. I tell her parents that everything I said is true. I even ask them for their blessing to date Alexia and move in with me. I am surprised when Steven says yes first but we have to have Julie’s blessing first. Then Julie says that she has to talk to Alexia by herself before she will agree.

We all step outside Alexia’s room, and now I have to wait until they are done talking to hear if she gives me her blessing. I am wondering why they have to have a secret conversation first. Kristen seems to know more but doesn’t say anything. Then says that she had to go. Here I am, pacing the hall. Steven seems as nervous as I am and I wonder if he knows why they are having a private talk. It seems like forever when the door opens.

Julie comes out and smiles at me. “Phillip, while I was talking to Alexia, she went back to sleep. She said for Steven and me to take you home and get cleaned up. You should rest a bit and then come back. She has to talk to you about something when you get back. Go home for a little bit.”

“Why do I have to leave? I can wait until she is awake again to talk to her.”

“Alexia told me to make you go and she said you needed a shower because you were starting to smell bad. Not to worry. She will rest until you get back.” She smiles, and I knew that comment was from Alexia. I want to go check on her again, but I don’t.

“Okay. Long enough to shower. I don’t want to stink up this hospital.” I laugh, and we leave to go back to the condo.

Driving back home after three days in the hospital feels good. It be better to have Alexia with me. The doctor said that she would get out tomorrow and I can’t wait. I hope what she tells me is something good. I have this feeling it isn’t.

Could Alexia’s mom have talked her out of our relationship? Would Alexia dump me after everything? I decide not to worry too much until I talk to Alexia. I’m glad her parents are driving me home because I really am tired. More tired than I thought I was.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Alexia

I must have been extremely tired. I don’t wake up until the sun is coming through my hospital window. I feel much better this morning. My body doesn’t feel tired or weak. I hope that means they will let me out for sure. I look around the room to see if anyone is with me, but there is no one. I wonder why Phillip didn’t come back. Maybe he did and I was asleep, so he left. Hopefully he isn’t mad because I had Mom make him leave last night. He really needed to rest and get cleaned up. He looked so tired.

What will I tell him today? Do I have it in me to tell him that I have his dead brother’s heart? If I want to be his girlfriend I have too. I can’t keep this secret from him any longer. I hope he forgives me when he hears what I have to say. Telling him will be the hardest thing for me to do. I love him and never want him to feel heartache or pain. I plan on telling him once I get out of this place.

The door opens and Dr. Martin comes in. “Hello, Alexia. How do you feel this morning?”

“I feel like my normal self. I slept well last night and no longer feel tired or weak. Does this mean I get out of the hospital today?” I smile at him, and maybe he will let me go.

“Well, with all the tests you had done, everything looks good. Your blood work is normal and the EKGs and echocardiogram show no damage to your heart. You have to promise me not to forget your medication or you will be back here. If you promise me, I will start the process for your discharge.”

“Don’t worry, Dr. Martin. I promise to take it. I don’t want to come back to the hospital again. Nothing against you or anything, but I have had enough of hospitals for now.” I smile really wide from knowing that I will be getting out soon.

“Okay, Alexia, I will go tell the nurse to start discharging you. Is your family here to take you home?”

“It is still early. I will call them to come get me. They aren’t too far from the hospital.”

“It has been nice to meet you, Alexia. You were my first heart transplant patient. Most of the time, the patients I see are not lucky enough to get a donor. Take care of yourself.” With those words, he left me.

Yes I have been lucky or maybe it was a miracle my mother prayed about. I will probably never know for sure.

I call my mom and she says that they will come pick me up. They ask me if Phillip is still here. I say that he wasn’t when I woke up. I tell her that he probably went to get something to eat. She says that I am probably right. We hang up and now I worried about where he could be.

This time when the door opened in comes Kristen. I love her, but I’m wondering where Phillip is. “You are awake. You were sleeping last night when Phillip and I were here late. Where is lover boy at now?”

“I don’t know. He wasn’t here when I woke up. Must be out getting food or something. The doctor said I can go home and he already has started the process to discharge me.”

“Yay! I am happy for you. Phillip said he was staying last night. I guess he did go for food or something. What did your mom tell you in private yesterday? Phillip is scared that she wanted you to break up with him.”

“No, she didn’t try to talk me into breaking up with him. After I tell him what she said, he might break up with me. This has me scared to death to tell him. I don’t want to lose him. I now know have to tell him everything.”

“Alexia, what is it? Tell me so I can give you my opinion about it.” She looks concerned.

I end up telling her everything about who my heart donor is, how my mom prayed for a miracle, and even about Phillip’s mom. When I was done she just looks at me for a minute. I believe she might be in shock. I hope Phillip doesn’t have this reaction.

“Wow, Alexia, that is a lot to have to tell him. I know he loves you. It will be a shock to him at first and he’d probably have to process everything. In the end, I think his love for you will be greater than the hurt of his lost brother. This has been a shock to you also. Was this the reason you forgot to take your medication? Your mothers keeping this from both of you-- They did it because they had to. You didn’t know you would run into Phillip and fall in love with each other.”

“Yes, that was the reason I forgot. I didn’t mean to. I was upset about why Mom wanted me to tell Phillip and the time frame of my surgery. Then you said what you did about how it could be Phillip’s brother who gave me my heart and I freaked out. I ended up crying myself to sleep and didn’t take it. I am scared to lose him now. I heard Phillip and you trying to wake me up. I tried to tell you I was awake but couldn’t. Then I remembered why I was unable to respond-- because I am broken and have to always take medicine for the rest of my life to live.” I look up at Kristen and see that we both have tears in our eyes.

“Oh, Alexia, don’t cry. Everything will be okay. I am for one glad to have you alive and in my life. Phillip will be glad too, once he knows that you love him the way he does. I will be with you every step of the way. I will remind you to take your medicine, because you almost gave me a heart attack. You know, I had to slap Phillip. He went into shock as soon as he laid eyes on you in the bed unresponsive.” She smiled.

“You didn’t slap him, did you?”

“Yes. I did. I had to get him moving to bring up the paramedics to our dorm room.”

“Did everyone at the dorm see me being taken out to the ambulance?” I hope not.

“Sorry, but some of the girls did. Megan did too. She was at her friend’s room and when the paramedics came, they weren’t quite. Everyone who wasn’t in class saw what happened. They have asked me about you, but I refused to tell them.”

“How can I face everyone and what should I tell them?” I think about this and I hope these girls don’t ask what happened.

“You hold your face up high and don’t say anything to them. It isn’t anyone’s business. Go back to school like nothing has happened.”

“You make it sound easy, Kristen. I hope I can do that. I am glad you are here with me. You are a great friend to have.” I reach over and squeeze her hand. She surprises me by hugging me, and then I hug her back. She has been such a great friend to me already.

“How much longer to until you’re freed from this place, Alexia?” She looks down at her watch to see what time it was.

“The doctor left about twenty minutes before you came it. In my past experience, it usually takes about two to three hours. They have to fill out lots of paperwork first. My parents should be here soon if you have to leave for a class. I will have to do a lot of make-up work for my classes.” That reminds me, I have to email my professors today when I get out.

Kristen looks at me. “Yes, I need to get to class. I was trying to wait until Phillip or your parents made it here before I left.”

“I’m sure they will be here soon. I called my parents before you came in. Go on to class. I will be fine until it is time to leave.” I smiled up at her.

“All right, I will leave. If you need me call.”

As she gets to the door, I notice that it is open a little bit. She closed it when she came in. When Kristen opens it up further, there stands Phillip. He looks like he heard every word we said. He is pale and in shock.

“Oh, hi, Phillip. What are you doing standing in the doorway?” Kristen asks and she seems to think what I do. She looks back at me and then to him.

He looks up and I see a tear come down his face. My heart breaks into a million pieces. He knows everything and I know he is taking it hard. I want out of this bed to go to him. The nurses still haven’t taken out my IV or unplugged the heart monitor confining me to my bed.

I finally find my voice. “Phillip, please forgive me. I had no idea what happened in the past.”

He finally looks at me. “I am sorry, Alexia. This is too much for me right now. I have to go. I am sure your parents will be here soon to get you. I will stay with Tyler and Jacob until your parents leave. Leave the key to the condo at the security desk when they leave.” He walks over to me and kisses on my forehead. “Sorry, Alexia.” Then, before I can say anything, he turns and leaves in a hurry. I see Kristen is as upset as I am.

“Alexia, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you about that when Phillip could have come back to hear. This is all my fault. Let me go talk to him.” She has this serious look on her face. She is blaming herself for my mistake. She really is a good friend and the best I have ever had.

I look at her with watery eyes. “No, Kristen, this isn’t your fault. It is mine. I kept my past a secret the whole time and I knew I should have told him. Now it is what I knew would happen. I will be fine. You need to leave to get to your class. I need to be alone for a while.”

She comes over and hugs me. “I don’t want to leave you now. You need me. I shouldn’t have left you the other day when you were upset. I will stay here until your parents come. You need me now.”

“Thanks Kristen. You are the best friend ever. I wonder if Phillip will ever forgive me. I love him so much and now he is gone. I gave him my heart and now it is broken.” I start laughing.

Kristen looks at me like I am crazy, and maybe I am. “Alexia, are you all right?”

“Yes. I gave him my heart. How ironic is that? I can’t give him my heart because my heart is borrowed. My real heart is no longer beating. Now I have broken this heart too. It isn’t meant for me to have a heart. I must have done something bad when I was little.” Tears start flowing uncontrollably down my face. The door opens and I hope it is Phillip. It isn’t. Mom takes a look at me and rushes to my side.

She looks at Kristen. “What happened to her?”

Kristen shakes her head. “I asked her about your private conversation last night and when she told me everything, Phillip was outside the door. He heard everything and was upset. He told her he couldn’t handle this right now and left.”

“Baby girl, look at me.” I do and Mom wipes my tears. “You have to stop crying. This doesn’t mean it is over for good. Phillip needs time to process all the information, and when he does, he will be back.”

“Mom, no, he won’t. He said we could stay at his place until Dad and you leave. Then I need to leave the key at security. That means he doesn’t want me. It is over. I broke his heart for keeping my past a secret. Mom, can you go check and see how much longer until I get out?”

She looks at me then goes to see.

“Kristen, I will be okay now. You better get to class before your late.”

Kristen comes over and hugs me. “I will go. If you need me, call. I will keep my phone close.”

“Okay. Thanks for being here. Go make good grades.” I try to smile at her to let her know I will be fine. She looks at me one last time and then leaves.

Not long after Kristen leaves, I am unhooked from everything and heading out the door. It feels good to be outside in the sun. I have been inside for to long. My mom and dad take me to Phillip’s. They made their flight plans to leave that day, but Mom is afraid to leave me alone. I tell her that I will have Kristen at the dorm, and once everyone is packed, we leave Phillip’s place.

Before I leave, I go to the balcony and look at the beach one last time. I want to memorize this place, even if it hurts to do so. We drop off the key and head back to the dorm. They stop at my favorite pizza place to get me a pizza to take to my room. Once I’m all settled in, they kiss me goodbye, but they hate leaving me. I keep telling them that I will be fine and they finally leave or before they miss their flight.