Last Heartbeat (27 page)

“If you want to and if you’re okay with everything, we will leave. I will go back inside and kick some butt. Just say the word.” She smiles at me, and I believe she would.

“No, I have a better idea. Come on, I’m driving.” Heading to the car, I tell her friends to follow me.

She keep asking where we are going, but I keep saying trust me, and she does. I drive to a place, I’d saw on the way to the beach. I wanted to go, but not alone. When we park, I looked at her and she smiles.

“This is perfect place to take out frustration. I better get some extra golf balls in case I see Megan’s face.” We laugh hard. This is what we all needed.

“Kristen, you know this is putt-putt golf and you can’t hit the balls too hard?” I grin.

“It will be only a just in case. I will try to be good, because if this makes you smile like that then I’m happy. Let’s get this show on the road.” She leads the way into our fun night of putt-putt golf. Then we all laugh hard and enjoyed ourselves.

We plan a weekly putt-putt golf night after that night and we ended up going to every one of the putt-putt golf places in town.

Before long, the days have turned into weeks and then the weeks have turned into months. I give up on the idea of Phillip. Occasionally, it still hurts, and I won’t lie, I still love him. I have never seen him out with Megan again. Why has he kept from talking to me? In our one class together, he moved to the front of the class. I wondered how he got out of his assigned seat. For the project we worked on, he turned it in after he finished his part. We ended up with an A on it. That is the same grade I had in all my classes since that was my focus.

I know we must have had fallen in love too fast for it to work. Things like that can’t last in the times we live in. I really haven’t talk to any other guy since Phillip and I broken up. I really don’t want to get involved with anyone else. I am too broken in more ways than most, so why add another guy into my broken life? It would not be fair to that guy.

One day in the middle of November, I go back to my favorite beach spot. I’ve been doing this everyday. I notice where I usually sit, that there is a heart drawn in the sand. It makes me sad to see it. A couple must have been at my spot that day before I got here. I looked around to see if they might still be here, but I see no one around. They must be lucky to have love in their lives and I smile for them, even while I hurt inside. I decide not to let it bother me. I end up reading and relaxing. When I decide to go, I look back at the heart and get a great idea. I gathered some shells and decorated it. Looking at my work, decide that it needs something else inside the heart. I make a cute little sandcastle. It is far enough away from the tide so that if they come back tomorrow, they will have a home to go with their heart. How lucky for them?

Going back to the beach everyday, I notice that the heart has grown and more shells have been placed on it. I even believe the castle has grown. Smiling to myself, I believe this couple in love has seen inspiration for their love with my shells and castle. Hopefully they will stay happy for a long time. I always look for them each time I come here. Never once do I see them, and I wonder who they are. They are my mystery couple.

I hate to leave today because tomorrow, I will fly home for Thanksgiving break. What if something happens to this heart and castle while I’m gone? Maybe they are college kids going home on break too. With a heavy heart, I leave to pack my things to head home so I can see my parents.

I really can’t wait to see them. It has been awhile since I have seen them. This puts a smile back on my face. They are what I need, and I can’t wait to see them for the holiday. Only bad thing about going home is that I have to leave the beach. I have grown up these past few months of college, and I am glad to have been given a second chance to be able to grow. I now thank Gabe everyday for his gift. This year at Thanksgiving, I will be extra thankful because now I know who gave me another chance at life. My only wish is that I’d still have his brother in my life too.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Phillip

Everyday, I know I should go see Alexia. I can’t bring myself to go see her yet. My mom told me to apologize before it is too late. I have planned many different ways to do so. The only problem is me. I am not ready. I still hurt from everything that has gone on from the past to now. The guys have been supportive and they both tell me everyday to get over it. They know I still love Alexia. Yes, I do love her and always will. I even have talked to my mom, and she thinks I may have lost my mind because I haven’t talked to Alexia. I am afraid when I go see her that all I will see is Gabe.

Gabe and I were close when we grew up, and it hurt me to lose him. He was only a year older than me and we did everything together. We loved all the same things and hardly fought with each other. We were so close you’d think we were twins; that is why it has been so hard. No one knows how hard it is to lose the one person you looked up to and wanted to be like as much as I do. He was my closest friend, and being my brother was an extra bonus. We would talk about everything, from girls to what we wanted out of life and that we wanted to live beside each other with our families. We had everything figured out, and when I lost him, I lost a big part of myself. When I met Alexia, I was starting to feel whole again. Like my missing part was back in place. That is what scares me the most.

Then she went and asked if maybe that is why we fell in love so quickly, and I can’t help, but wonder that also. I saw her look at me the first time on the plane and knew that I had to get to know her better. Maybe Gabe was pulling me to her? That doesn’t make this easier to comprehend.

I am afraid when I see her in biology class for the first time that I will have that same pull. She sent me an email with her part of the assignment and I finished it by adding mine to it. I owe her that much to try to get a good grade. I think she is coming back soon, so I asked the professor to move me from my assigned seat. I didn’t think he would, but since Alexia was absent and he was giving another two-person assignment he moved me next to a new guy up in the front of the class. Sitting up front sucks, but since I asked to be moved, I had to bear it.

She finally walks back in the classroom. She looks toward our seats and notice that I am not there. It makes me sad seeing her frown. She finds me up front when she walks to her seat. We looked at each other and I have to look away. As soon as I saw those eyes, I knew I either had to let her go or try to get her back. I feel that pull toward her and have a hard time sitting in my seat during that first day with her back. That stupid pull makes me angry. Why do I think it has to do with Gabe? I still can’t think straight when she is in the same room as me. I don’t think, I hear a thing in class, and when it is over, I hurry out.

I end up back at my home soon after and leave to go surfing as quickly as I can to clear my mind. I believe I need a shrink. I wonder if I can find a good one around here. Does the school have one? I better not go to a school one because someone might find out. I keeping surfing for a long time and when I came out of the water, I see Megan.

“What do you want Megan? I don’t feel like putting up with you today,” I snap at her.

“Well, Phillip, I was going to invite you to a party I am going to have tonight. Someone must have stuck something up your butt since you’re in a crabby mood.” She started to walk off, but I stopped her. I know I shouldn’t have but I did.

“Sorry about that Megan. I had a bad day at school and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” I smiled.

“Okay, I will forgive you this time, but don’t let it happen again. So will you and your friends come to the party tonight?” She bats her eyes at me. Since I was so rude to her, I tell her that I will.

Megan apparently thinks that I said yes, I was going to be her date. She even hung on me all night and I have to try to get away. Every time I think I’ve lost her, she would find me. Megan tries to get me to go to her bedroom several times. I keep telling her no. I could have easily take advantage of her. I don’t want to and knowing Megan, she would never leave me alone after.

Every day, Megan keeps coming up to me and trying her best to get me to go out with her, and every day I tell her no. It got so bad that I would keep an extra eye out and I turn the other way so I can dodge her. It is a full-time job staying out of Megan’s radar.

Finally one day, Megan catches up to me, and asks me why we keep missing each other. I decide to tell her off and I do. It gets to be a heated moment. Then finally she gets the hint that I am not into her at all. It is depressing that the one girl I want is the girl I am afraid to talk too. Since I haven’t talked to Alexia in so long, she probably has given up on me and maybe even moved on.

As I keep thinking about Alexia moving on, I get anxious and jealous. I see her every time we have biology and keep thinking that she has moved on because she pays no attention to me anymore and never looks at me. The more I keep thinking about this and the sadder I become. How stupid of me to let it get this far without talking to the one person who makes me feel something? I love her more every day and I’m scared to tell her.

I haven’t gone out with the guys in a while and they keep asking. I put them off as long as I can, but I finally cave to go to a party. I drive us to the place they tell me to drive to, and when I see that it is a house beside Megan’s, I almost turn the car around. What stops me is this beautiful girl who just got out of her car with her friends. I decide that tonight, I will find out what she is up to. She isn’t a party-type girl, but I have to see what she is doing here.

We go inside the party and the guys hit up any alcohol they can get their hands on. They know I will drive them home so they can do whatever they want. I sit back in the corner so she won’t see me. I hope she didn’t see the guys either, because that might give me away.

She looks around to see who is here, like maybe she is looking for someone. I hope it isn’t a guy. I might have to go grab her up away from him if it is. She almost spots me, but someone steps into my path and she doesn’t see me. That was close. I watch her all night, and she is having a good time dancing with her girlfriends and watching them take Jell-O shooters. I’m sitting here watching her and the guys come back over. They are being loud. I hope they don’t get to loud. She will notice them.

They keep talking loudly about some hot chicks. I pay them no attention. My eyes haven’t been off that beauty who is dancing. It makes me want to go over and put my arms around her and dance with her. She has me mesmerized with they way she moves. She twirls around and then stops. She sees me looking at her and goes over to her friend. Her friend looks up to see what she sees. Then all of her friends stop and then they head over to where we are.
Maybe she wants to talk to me, I think
. I hope.

When she gets close to me, I look into her beautiful eyes. I am going to beg for forgiveness right now and I don’t care who sees or hears me. I take a deep breath, and as I do, I feel an arm go around my shoulders. I look to see who it is, and it is Megan. I look back to the beautiful girl, and she looks shocked before she walks right past me and out the door.

I know how shocked she must feel, because what Megan just did shocked me too. I let out the breath I was holding. Shaking off Megan’s arm I yell at her to never, ever come around me again. Everyone at the party stops what they are doing and looks our way. I tell her that she better stop stalking me or I will get a restraining order against her. The guys have to grab me and pull me away before I do anything that I will regret.

Megan finally gets embarrassed and says that she will never come around me again. I reminded her if she does, I will get the restraining order. Megan tells me that she understands and leaves in tears. I should feel bad for her for saying that in front of all these people, but all I can think about is my missed chance with that beautiful girl. The look she gave me was a look, like she never wanted me around again.

Before I can dwell much on it, the guys pull me out of the party. They even are still sober and that surprises me. They say we we should go do something different tonight, and what they want to do is something that sounds like fun. I haven’t done it much since my brother died and I am ready to go.

We end up a putt-putt golf course that is away from the beach with not many people there. Most people go to the ones close to the beach because at some of them you can see the ocean at certain holes. We end up having a good time and it clears my head. We decide to come to this place more often and we do weekly.

Each day turns into a week and each week turns into a month. I really believe Alexia is over me. She looks good and healthy. I believe she even has a tan now. She never looks my way and she hasn’t even spoken to me in biology. I almost give up on the idea of her in my life until one day I run directly into Kristen. We almost knock each other down. Before she notices whom she ran into, she spouts off a few curse words at me. I start laughing at her, and she looks at me.

“Oh, you. Why don’t you watch out where you’re going? You are too big to run into. You’re like a freaking statue and a jerk too.” She sounds angry.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to run into you and I can’t help how tall I am. Why am I a jerk?” I look at her.

“Do you really want me to tell you why you’re a jerk?” I nod my head yes. “Well it is because you were with Megan at a party. I finally got Alexia out for the night. It took me forever to get her to say yes. Then you went and messed it up,” she snaps at me.

“Wait a minute I wasn’t with Megan that night. I didn’t even know she was there. I was going to beg Alexia for forgiveness right in front of everyone and I didn’t care who would see my begging. Then Megan came up behind me and puts her arm around me like she’d been there the whole time. Alexia looked at me liked she didn’t care and walked on by. For your information, I told Megan in front of everyone after you left to leave me alone and quit stalking me. Even told her that if she didn’t, I would get a restraining order against her. I now have a whole room of partygoers as witnesses and now she finally leaves me alone.” Saying this to Kristen, I feel relieved to finally get that off my chest.