Last of the Summer Tomatoes (20 page)

“But I didn’t check the gate….”

“That latch has been on its last legs for a couple of years. It probably looked well and secure, but it has been slipping. It’s not your fault. So don’t beat yourself up over it. Today is just another day in the world of farming. You take a few of these off days to make you appreciate those days when things go smoothly. Now, did the fugitives have any troubles when you hooked them up?”

“Not that I could tell. Seemed normal, except they had a bit more mud on them.”

“Eh, the rain’ll clean that off. Run the filter. Then we’ll go in for a big breakfast. I’m famished!”

Kyle let out a long breath. “I think Sam takes after you.”

“When it comes to Glenda’s cooking, I think even the most pickiest eater would chow down.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

A commotion out in the holding pen grabbed their attention. Sam was herding two more cows in. Kyle opened the barn up to get the last two hooked up. Walt stepped out into the rain.

“No sign of the last one?”

“Tracked one down to the creek. I think she’s headed toward Hotch’s place. Maybe heard his cows and thought that was home. You know cows have a lousy sense of direction.”

“I’ll give him a call, tell him to be on the lookout. Go put Mike away; not worth you catching a cold over one cow. She’ll come home soon enough.”

Sam nodded, the rain dripping down off his nose, plastering his hair to his head. Kyle felt so bad for him, for what he had to go through this morning because of him. Even though Walt said it was a faulty latch, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being responsible. The last two cows finished up, the milk filtered, and he was back in the warm kitchen.

“Eggs over-easy?”

Kyle fidgeted. “I’m not hungry.”

Glenda gave him a stern look. “You will eat young man. Cows escaping is nothing to get worked up about. Heck, we’ve had more than our fair share of Hotch’s cows coming here. It all gets straightened out in the end. So don’t you worry. Eggs?”

Kyle looked down at his lap, his hands clenching. He hated disappointing any of them, didn’t want to see any dissatisfaction in their eyes. Glenda sat down next to him, her hand on his arm.

“Would you be feeling this way if the gate on the west side had malfunctioned?”

Kyle withdrew into himself. “I… no.”

“Then stop it. You did nothing wrong. I won’t have you thinking this is your fault. Now you will put this out of your mind, and you will eat, hear me?”

Kyle glanced over to her. “Yes. Okay. Over-easy please.”

Glenda patted his back. “Good. Over-easy it is.”

Sam came in through the mudroom, soaking wet. Kyle’s heart gave a little leap when he saw the wet t-shirt plastered to his chest, the soaked jeans tightening up against his thighs and groin. He swallowed, pinching himself to get his thoughts back on track.

“Damn, it’s really coming down out there.” Sam shook his head, a fine spray of rainwater flying.

“Sam! You’re getting everything wet. Go, go upstairs and change.” Glenda pointed to the stairs with her spatula. “Eggs over-easy as usual?”

“Sounds great, Mom. Thanks.” Sam headed up. Kyle heard Walt come in through the front door.

“Walt, if you come in here soaking wet like that son of yours, we will have words.”

“Yes, dear, going to get changed now.”

“Good. Eggs’ll be done in five.”

Within minutes they were all sitting down to a huge breakfast, accented with some fresh strawberry preserves. Kyle didn’t realize how hungry he was until the first bite hit his tongue. As the rest of the family started talking small talk and the episode with escaped cows seemingly buried in the past, his stomach eased up on him enough to enjoy Glenda’s fine cooking.

“I checked the radar before coming in. Rain’s going to be with us most of the day, so I’m afraid we’re stuck inside for a bit.” Walt leaned back in his chair, sipping his coffee.

“Gives me an excuse to do some cleaning around here; think I’ll start in the pantry. We may have some mismatched food for dinner tonight. Want to make sure we eat up everything from last year so I have room for this year.” Glenda picked up some dishes. “What are you boys going to do?”

“I… I think I’d like to draw, if that’s okay.” Kyle still felt guilty about this morning, not sure if he should even ask to slack off.

“That sounds wonderful. You could go out on the screened-in porch, get a good view of the south ridge.”

“You… you want some help in here first?”

“Nope. I had Sam help me once. He started opening everything to ‘try’ it.”

“Mom! I was eight!”

“And I still think you’d do it again.” Glenda kissed the top of Sam’s head as she took his plate. “So, what shall you do today?”

“Thought I might read, keep Kyle company.”

“Sounds like a perfect, lazy, rainy-day afternoon. Now shoo, I need the table to set everything out.”

Walt stood up, gave Glenda a long kiss. “Thanks for breakfast, my beauty.”

Kyle thought he saw Glenda blush a little. Walt didn’t say things like that very often.

“You are very welcome. Now go enjoy your ball game.” Glenda gave Walt a little pat on the butt.

Sam put his hand on Kyle’s shoulder. “Let’s go before they get too mushy.”

Kyle got up slowly, not entirely wanting to leave the kitchen. Seeing such a public display of affection, of love, it wasn’t making him as uneasy as before. He looked over at Sam, grasped his hand and kissed him. In the kitchen. And it felt good.

The rain continued throughout the afternoon. Kyle sketched, Sam read. Well, Kyle knew Sam wasn’t really reading. He’d sneak glances as he drew, and Sam was always watching him.

“This can’t be very interesting to watch.”

“I like the view.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Yes, it is a nice view of the trees.”

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“And I think you’re just bored. And I look better than the cows.”

Sam slid his chair over to Kyle. “Don’t do that to yourself.”

“What?”

“Put yourself down.” Sam put his finger underneath Kyle’s chin, turning his face. “I like the way you look. I…. Look, you promise not to freak out if I tell you something?”

Kyle shrugged. “Yeah, okay. No freaking.”

“I think… no, I know I love you.”

Kyle’s eyes went wide; he felt the blood drain from his face.

“Hey, I don’t expect you to say it back. Not at all. I know where you come from, what you’ve been through. I… I wanted you to know how I felt. That someone outside of parental-type units loved you. You know, in a nonfamilial way.”

“I… I honestly don’t know what to say. I… I really don’t.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. Go back to your sketching. I’ll go back to reading.”

“You haven’t turned a page in over fifteen minutes. Unless you are an extremely slow reader, I don’t think that book has your attention.”

“You’re right, the book doesn’t have my attention. You do. But I know how important your artwork is to you. I want you to draw, work on your art. I want to watch you do something that engages you so much, that takes you away from this world and into your heart’s desire.”

Kyle lifted an eyebrow. “You been reading poetry?”

“I had to take an English Lit class this past semester.”

“It sounds… a little corny.”

“But did you like it?”

Kyle gave him a half smile. “Yeah. It was… romantic.”

Sam snorted a little. “So, you admit you like a little romance.”

“Never said I didn’t. Just that it was girlie.”

Sam got up and scooted Kyle over in his chair, half pulling Kyle on his lap. “You are no girl. You have the soul of an artist, the mind of a dreamer, and the heart to put it all together. And that’s what I love about you. That in spite of all you’ve gone through, you can be so gentle, kind, loving. That’s why I love you.” Sam pulled Kyle into a kiss.

They connected for a few long minutes. Kyle pulled back a little, laying his head on Sam’s shoulder. “Would you be upset if I could never say those words?”

“What, the ‘I love you’?”

“Yeah.”

Sam didn’t say anything for what seemed an eternity. “I would hope, in time, you will be able to say them. Maybe not to me, but to someone. I never want you to go through life not being able to feel love, to be able to express those words.”

“I… I’m not sure I’d recognize it if it happened.”

“I think you will. It’s a feeling… like you never want to be apart. Like you want to see that person every day, that even when you fight, you still love them in the end. That you always want to be connected to them, somehow, some way.”

“Is love something you fall out of as well?”

“No, not really. Love can change, a hot romance can cool to a good friendship, but you still have feelings, if only for the memories you created together.”

“So, you’ll love me differently this fall?”

Sam wrinkled his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“When I leave. We won’t see each other again. Love is wanting to connect every day and, well, you’ll be in Albany, I’ll be in NYC… not an easy commute there, especially since I don’t drive.”

“We can do video chats, maybe I could visit on weekends. You’ll come here for the holidays, right?”

Kyle shook his head. “I need….” He felt a tear forming, willed it away. He brushed a strand of Sam’s hair off his face. “We need to be realistic. You’ve helped me become more accepting of myself. I can go back home and feel good about who I am. I… I’d like to just enjoy the rest of the summer, and maybe… yeah, we can be the good friends thing in the end.”

Sam fell quiet and hugged Kyle close. “Can we not make any promises or plans right now? You’re here for seven more weeks. That can be a lifetime.”

“I can do that.”

“Good. I… I thought we could plan a camping trip next weekend, if the weather’s nice. Pops said we could have a couple days off of the farm work. You wanna go? I’d like to show you something once we go deeper into the preserve.”

“Sounds like fun. Never really been camping. Billy and I pitched a tent in his backyard once.”

“This will be different. And much more relaxing than a backyard with security lights.”

“I look forward to it.”

The rain started to let up.

“We should probably go do a round with the animals, double-check the fences that are a little closer to the ponds in case the mud gave way.”

Kyle nodded, not really wanting to get up off Sam’s lap. “I guess we should.”

Sam pulled him in for one more kiss before they got up to face the reality of the day.

Sixteen

T
HE
week went by way too fast for Kyle’s liking. He was beginning to dread the countdown to the end of the summer. He tried not to think about it as it always gave him a lump in his throat and an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The garden was in full swing, daily harvesting of all sorts of vegetables. Kyle was surprised that not all vegetables need to be cooked to mush, and they actually had flavor without tons of salt and butter. It was astonishing to him the difference between fresh and canned or frozen. He didn’t think he’d be able to eat another canned green bean in his life. And the tomatoes… tomatoes actually had a flavor, not the waxy, gelatinous mass you find at the grocery store. He couldn’t get enough of the tomatoes. How on earth could he give this up at the end of August? How could he leave the one place he felt loved and safe and at total peace with himself. But then he just had to look around, look at all the family portraits, school pictures and realize this wasn’t his home. That no matter how much he wanted it to be, this wasn’t where he belonged. He belonged back in the city, if only because that was where art school was. His refuge, his escape from Hank, his future.

Saturday morning came roaring in with high humidity and heat. It was all hands on deck for milking and making sure there was plenty of water for all the animals. It was well into midafternoon before they had Sam’s truck packed up for their camping trip.

“Sorry we had to miss most of the day.” Sam snapped the cover back onto the truck bed.

“It’s okay. The animals needed to come first. I don’t mind.”

Sam put his arm around Kyle’s waist, pulling him in for a kiss. “I just want you to have a good time when we get up there.”

“I’m sure I will. I’ll be with you.”

“You say the sweetest things.”

“Well, it’s true. I could spend all day people watching in an air-conditioned mall, and I’d be happy, as long as I was with you.”

“I might take you up on that. It’s going to be a humid evening. You sure you want to sleep outside?”

“It will be an adventure.”

“Okay, let’s get moving. Mom packed a huge dinner for us. It’ll be just about eating time when we get to our destination.” Sam took Kyle’s hand to walk them over to the porch. “Mom! Kyle and I are leaving now!”

Glenda poked her head out the screen door. “You got your radio on you?”

“Yep, set to Channel 4.”

“Okay, just check in when you get there and again when you leave.”

“Will do.”

“Have fun!” Glenda closed the screen door.