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D.H. Starr
Meant For Each Other
negative thoughts aside, Andrew plastered a smile on his face and approached the short man. “Mr. Stanton?” He extended his hand.
“Yes, please, call me Boris. I take it my beret helped to make me recognizable.”
Boris beamed at him. “So nice to meet you.”
Andrew directed Boris toward the table he had reserved. “Why don’t we get a drink so we can get started?”
“What are you drinking?” Boris was greasing the wheels. A tactic Andrew knew and used with his own clients.
“Gin and tonic. Thanks. I’ll be at the table.”
Boris ordered their drinks and returned to the table. “Here you go.” Andrew smiled and took a sip. “I am so pleased you called. I brought samples of the work I can do for you. The designer working for me is quite talented. He will be a part of the deal if you should choose to hire me for your needs.” Boris handed over a portfolio.
Andrew leafed through the pictures. They were quite good. Something about them seemed familiar to him. For some reason, he felt Jeremy would really like them. “This is terrific stuff. I especially like the use of natural material.”
Boris nodded. “I specialize in this type of design. A touch of warmth in an upscale environment.”
“I’m impressed. Jeremy will love these designs. He’s the one who will be making the big decisions about how we decorate.”
Boris sat up straighter. “Well, perfect. I’m throwing a party this Saturday, for potential clients. Please, bring your partner so he can meet my artist and view the designs for himself.”
Andrew nodded. “Sounds like a wonderful idea. Where will the party be?”
Boris reached into his briefcase and pulled out an invitation. “Here you go. I hope you come by this weekend.” They finished their drinks, Boris asking questions about Jeremy. He’s good, I’ll give him that. Buying me a drink and then talking about my boyfriend.
* * * * *
Jeremy smiled. “You think my ass looks hot whatever I’m doing.”
“True. Is that a bad thing?”
“No, definitely not a bad thing.” Jeremy turned in Andrew’s arms and gave him a kiss. “I’m making chicken parmesan for dinner. The chicken is frying right now.”
“Yum. Listen, I’m gonna shower, but then I can’t wait to tell you about the meeting I just had. I met with a contractor with the best designs for remodeling the condo. We’re invited to a party on Saturday to check out the work.”
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Jeremy stiffened. “You met with a contractor today? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Andrew stepped back, shocked by the bite in Jeremy’s voice. He expected some resistance, but anger was more than he had anticipated. “Because I wanted to surprise you.”
“Haven’t we talked about this? I don’t want any more surprises. I’ve already agreed to the move and swallowed my pride by letting you pay for everything. Now you’re planning on remodeling the whole place.”
“Hey, calm down. I wanted to make sure his stuff was good. The surprise is I want you to make all the decisions about remodeling. You’re good at that sort of thing.”
Andrew peered at Jeremy hesitantly, trying to determine whether the anger was flaring hotter or simmering.
Jeremy’s shoulders slumped. “Fine. That’s generous of you and you definitely surprised me.”
“You’re mad, aren’t you? I can’t do anything right, can I?”
Jeremy flinched at the question, but said nothing. Ever since his bid had been accepted, Jeremy had become distant. Something had changed between them, as if all the fight had drained out of him. Andrew tentatively walked closer to him. “Are you sure? If you’re not sure, I can always call and cancel.”
“I’m sure.” Jeremy took the final step to close the distance between them and kissed Andrew again, gently, on the lips. “Go take your shower. Dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes.”
Andrew gave Jeremy one last kiss on the forehead, then headed into their bedroom to undress. Under the hot stream of water, he allowed the tension to wash off him. He had been so excited to get home and tell Jeremy what he had done, thinking Jeremy would appreciate the effort to include him. Instead, like everything else lately, his efforts seemed to create problems instead of solving them.
A sudden urge to punch something filled him and he fisted his hands in his hair, pulling until the roots began to protest with pain. He tilted his head back, his mouth filling with water, then spat it out, enjoying the gratifying splash against the tiled wall.
Putting more soap on the loofah he scrubbed at his skin. Why are things so difficult with him? Andrew sighed, placing the loofah back on its hook and allowing the suds to wash off his skin. Jeremy had always been too sensitive about things. So high strung. Strange how such a high strung guy could also be so lacking in ambition. At first it hadn’t mattered. However, with each passing year, Jeremy’s inability to move forward were putting a terrible strain on their relationship. That’s not fair. The strain is as much my fault as his.
All Andrew wanted was to enjoy his life. He’d worked hard for his promotion and the fact he made lots of money and Jeremy didn’t, never bothered him. Their problems weren’t about money for him; just for Jeremy. Even the arguments they had about Jeremy’s work weren’t because of the money; they were because he believed Jeremy could do so much more.
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The thought caused something to click into place in Andrew’s mind. Who the hell am I to decide whether Jeremy’s job is good enough for him? As if someone had switched on a light, Andrew understood he was the one who didn’t think teaching was good enough.
He was the one who thought teaching was a thankless, underpaid profession. Maybe his job was thankless and underpaid, but Jeremy loved what he did.
Yet, Andrew also knew what he wanted. He wanted to live in an expensive, large condo with modern conveniences. He wanted to travel around the globe with the man he loved. Jeremy did not want those things. The realization caused him to wonder whether Jeremy was still that man. He loved Jeremy, but was loving someone was enough of a reason to stay together if you didn’t want the same things any longer?
They had both wanted the same things eight years ago. They had been on even footing, but now, they were in two different places and they seemed to be drifting further apart rather than growing closer together.
The sadness in Andrew’s chest faded, nothing replacing the emotion, leaving him with a hollow emptiness inside. He couldn’t deny his thoughts resonated as true in his heart. If they didn’t want the same things and couldn’t work to reconcile their differences, all they would do is end up hurting each other and making each other miserable. He didn’t want to make Jeremy miserable. He loved him way too much.
Turning off the shower and grabbing a towel, Andrew’s thoughts came faster. The reason for the distance growing between them had become clear, but how to handle the problem was far too scary to contemplate.
The scent of chicken wafted through the bedroom causing his stomach to growl. He quickly got dressed, checked himself in the mirror, and smiled, forcing his negative thoughts aside, then strode into the kitchen. “Dinner smells delicious.”
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On Saturday, Craig got up early to make sure the artwork and displays were ready before he headed out to set up the party. He had worked overtime for the past couple of nights, perfecting his designs and working with the printer to make sure the posters were ready for display by Friday night. He was going to pick them up on his way to the hall in Tribeca which Boris had rented.
Heading out into the bright morning, he walked down the street to Starbucks. The day would be long and he was going to need a lot of caffeine. From a point of pride, he was excited his work was going to be the sole focus of the evening. He walked with a lighter gait knowing whatever business Boris drummed up would be partially because of the visual images he had created.
At the same time, he couldn’t shake the nagging thought tugging at his mind since he met with Boris a few days earlier. The more he thought about their conversation, the more uncomfortable he became. Boris wanted him as his sole designer. Craig was confident Boris would hire him if he was willing to accept an offer, but he didn’t want to limit his work to just one type of design. He loved his specialty, but each job was different. Each client was different which was what made the work exciting and kept his imagination and talent fresh. He was always trying to envision a new idea or concept based solely on a client’s description of what they wanted. To limit himself to designing homes and home interiors would drain his work of creativity and imagination. No amount of money was worth sacrificing his freedom.
A conversation from long ago crept into his mind. One he had high up in a tree.
Jeremy had asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He had said he wanted to do something with computers and something creative. The thought reminded him of his first kiss. No matter how much time passed, thoughts of Jeremy always had the same effect; creating a heaviness in his chest. The sense of loss had grown even stronger in the past couple of years as his and Robert’s relationship had dwindled. Since his mind was in the past, he decided to allow himself to wallow.
Jeremy had understood exactly what he meant. He agreed Craig needed to be doing something involving his mind; something from within him, not some job where he churned out garbage at a fast clip. What had Jeremy wanted to do? Craig racked his brain, trying to remember. Teaching. How could I forget?
He answered his own question without having to think. Because I remember a far more powerful moment in the tree. With Jeremy’s image in his mind, Craig replayed the kiss, picturing soft lips closing over his own, Jeremy’s scent, musky, with a hint of orange. He laughed at the level of detail his mind was able to recreate from that moment.
More than the kiss, Craig recalled Jeremy’s affirming acceptance by getting excited over the things which excited him. He couldn’t think of one time Jeremy criticized or 49
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pushed him into doing something he didn’t want to do. Jeremy never judged him for following his dreams, not like Robert did, all the time.
Reaching the coffee shop, Craig pushed his thoughts from his mind. He ordered two coffees, one for him and one for Robert, and headed back to their apartment. With a Wall Street Journal for Robert tucked under his arm, he jogged up the steps, amazed he didn’t trip and fall.
Robert was up when he got home, standing in the middle of the living room naked with a towel draped over his shoulders. His brown hair was wet and his bangs clung to his forehead. He turned around when Craig walked in, his cock swinging with his motion and clapping the inside of his thigh.
Craig walked over to Robert and handed him his coffee and the newspaper, then turned to go to the bedroom. He was stopped in his tracks by a sharp clap on his ass.
“Looks good.” Please don’t make a pass. Not today. I’m way too busy.
“Uh, I…” Craig’s heart began to beat a bit faster; his skin became clammy with a sudden sweat. “Babe, I have a lot to do today. Can’t we just sit and have breakfast before I head out?”
Robert pouted, walking over to Craig, a swagger in his step, and cupped Craig’s groin. “You saying you’re too busy for a little fun?”
Craig smiled weakly. “Robert, today’s a busy day for me.”
Ignoring him, Robert unbuttoned his pants and worked his hands under the waistband, beginning to push it over his ass.
“Robert.” Craig’s voice came out far louder than he had intended, but it had the desired effect of freezing Robert’s actions. “I said I have a lot to do today.”
His face became crimson in a flash, lips tightening into thin slits as he pressed them together. “Sue me for finding my boyfriend sexy.”
“Really. Is that what this is about? Are you coming onto me because you think I’m sexy, or is this because you want a warm body to help you take care of your morning wood?”
Robert opened his mouth then closed it once again. When he spoke, his voice was controlled, something Craig had learned meant he was seething with rage. “What crawled up your ass and died?”
“Lovely image. Today’s a big day for me and I want to remain focused. I’d think you would understand that. How many times did you push me off of you because you had a big event?”
Robert laughed, a single burst of sound emitting from him. “Those instances were different. They were—”
“About you!” The anger swelled up inside Craig to the point where his arms began to shake. When he continued, he was shouting, pressure building up in his head. He was sure if he looked at himself in a mirror his veins would be bulging with the strain 50
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of his outburst. “It’s always fuckin’ about you. Well today is about me. So fuck off.”